When it's right.
Summary: A first time Klaine fic. Kurt knows it's time, and he knows it's going to be perfect because it's Blaine and Blaine is perfect. Sweet with a mix of awkwardness and a few songs.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, any of the characters nor the song Cannonball and I am not making a profit out of any of them.
Hi guys, I would like to recommend you listen to cannonball at the start of this, it's a beautiful song. I personally like the version sung by Marcus Collins on X-factor http : / / www . youtube . com / watch ? v = AZCiCW0QioA
it was while listening to him sing that I knew I had to include that song in this fic. Oh, I kinda made Blaine's singing in normal text, Kurt's in italics and both of them singing together in bold.
This was originally going to be one long fic but it was getting to be a bit long for me to tackle in one go so it's now a three parter.
Part one: Not a fairy tale.
Kurt had often wondered if he would be nervous about losing his virginity. After all a few months ago he had not wanted to even consider it. The idea of sex seemed slightly… gross and potentially painful. Blaine had changed that, the idea of Blaine's hands on him was anything but disturbing. He knew that it would be wonderful. He knew because it was them. It would be an act of love, slow, romantic, a mixture of cautiousness and passionate. He knew every newly revealed inch of Blaine's body would take his breath away. He knew every touch would make his breath hitch and his body shiver with delight. He wanted that. He wanted to be that close to Blaine. He knew deep in his heart that Blaine was truly his first love and was the man he wanted to share these first experiences with. He also wanted to be the first man to hold Blaine, to whisper how much he loved him as their bodies joined together in the most intimate way.
As he had watched Blaine dancing on stage he had meant to be preparing for his part but all he could do was watch Blaine and think about how it was time. He just knew, he knew it in his stomach and in his heart. There was no need to think about it, he knew he and Blaine were having some issues but he knew they would be easily resolved. It had to be revolved before the next step. But he was ready, and he knew Blaine was ready. Hadn't he said that he wanted Kurt to be ready so that he could be comfortable? Hadn't he said that now was the time for adventure. And although Kurt had really not wanted it at that moment hadn't he pulled him onto his lap and kissed him and tried to touch him and told him that he wanted to 'do it' and it was all about them.
Blaine had always been more sexual than Kurt. Kurt had always known Blaine wanted to take that step, wanted to explore. But he had respected Kurt enough to wait, to never try to push him to always try to create a sense of romance when they made out. Last night was one mistake on a long road they had been traveling together. He had gone to bed upset, but when he had woken up he knew that this was their first big argument; just another first. It was uncomfortable and he wanted to put it right but it made their relationship all that more real didn't it? I mean, they'd had an argument and people don't have arguments in fairy tales only in reality. Now it was time. Now they would both get what their bodies ached for, what Kurt's heart seemed to be trying to jump out of his chest for.
Now here he was watching Blaine on the empty stage, his strong muscles moving as he tried to do a dance move. It was time to talk, it was time to apologize to Blaine for shouting at him but to also tell him that he didn't want to be treated in that way; never again. He also had to tell Blaine how uncomfortable Sebastian made him. The boy was after one thing, and that one thing … it belonged to Kurt. He would fight for it. He would fight for Blaine, fight to protect Blaine after all Sebastian looked at him like a piece of meat. He would be used and thrown aside and Blaine was worth so much more than that. It broke his heart to think that anybody would treat Blaine like that. He loved Blaine, he never wanted him to think that he had to settle for anything less than love.
He took a step forwards out of the shadows so that Blaine would see him. For the first time he wondered why Blaine was here alone. Although the performance of West side story had been good the rest of the day had been slightly strange. Blaine had not been waiting for his at his locker in the morning. In chemistry class he had paired up with Puck and he had not been present at their little lunch time glee club get together. All through the day when Kurt had glanced over towards Blaine he had been met with sad eyes that quickly looked away. He never wanted another day like this in the rest of his life.
"Shouldn't you be celebrating?"
Kurt knew if Blaine felt anything like he did then celebrating would be the furthest thing from his mind.
"I've been going over a move I messed up tonight. I know I can do it better."
Kurt couldn't help a little grin. He was such a perfectionist.
"The beauty of the stage, you get to do it all over again tomorrow night."
If only life could be the same. Then last night would never have happened and they could have a perfect first. But then again, if you never make mistakes you never learn from them. You don't get to learn if your relationship is strong enough to survive the fights.
Blaine's head was hung low as he stared at the floor. Kurt wished he knew what was going on in his mind.
"Personally I thought you guys were perfect."
"Thanks. Your officer Kruskey killed. Brought the house down. "
"Well I can't help but pull focus. Sorry."
Blaine gave a tiny smile and looked down.
"Don't apologize it was great."
They were dancing around the issue. If they didn't talk about it there would forever be a dark shadow hanging over them.
"All your friends were here tonight, the Warblers."
"Sebastian. They were loving it."
Blaine walked towards him a few steps and Kurt met him in the middle.
"Give me your hand." Blaine said taking Kurt's in his "And hold it to your heart."
As Blaine held his hand over his heavily beating heat Kurt was filled again with the sense of rightness. Blaine always knew exactly what Kurt needed in any given moment and always seemed able to comfort him when he needed comforting.
"Just like the song?"
The most romantic song in West Side Story. The joining of two hands can be the start of a journey leading to the joining of two hearts and two lives. Hadn't it been that way the first time Blaine had met Kurt and he had reached down to take his hand. The touch had surprised him so much, the boys at KcKinley even those in the glee club avoided touching him at all times. He had never thought about it till that night when he had wondered why one simple touch had taken his breath away.
"Like the song."
They both shared a smile.
Blaine paused for a second making sure that he had Kurt's full attention and he knew what he was going to say.
"Sebastian means nothing to me."
His eyes were wide and honest. His voice grew emotional in the way that it would only become when they were alone. Blaine lowered his hand and clasped it between his own.
"And you were right. Our first time shouldn't be like that. I was drunk and I am sorry."
Kurt believed him. He trusted Blaine, He loved Blaine. And the worry in those beautiful eyes made his heart ache.
"Well it sure beats the last time you were drunk and made out with Rachel."
Blaine let out something between a laugh and a sigh of relief knowing that if Kurt was joking then everything was alright between them. Kurt couldn't help a small chuckle as well. He felt relaxed and respected and cherished. His heart was still aching. Tonight, he decided, tonight they were going to make love.
"But I'm sorry to. I wanted to be your gay bar super star , but, try as I might I'm still just a silly romantic."
"It's not silly."
Blaine kissed Kurt. His moist warm lips pressing against him with a gentle longing filled pressure. Their body were pressed flush against each other and Kurt leaned into the warm solid body, he wrapped his arms' around Blaine's neck. This was not a fairy tale, it was real and that made it so much better. He pulled away from the kiss, he needed to say something. He was torn between wanting to stay close to him and wanting to see his eyes. Kurt rested his forehead against Blaine's. The kiss though short had almost stopped his heart. He had been about to talk to Blaine, to initiate a conversation about preparing for sex in the near future. Like planning to get some time alone in the next few days but this moment was perfect and he knew that he didn't need to talk about it, he didn't need those extra hours, he had all he needed. He had Blaine.
"You take me breath away."
He pulled away not able to spend a moment not looking into those hazel eyes.
"And not just now. But tonight on that stage, I was so proud to be with you."
"I hope so. I want you to be." Blaine's voice almost sounded like he was going to cry. He was just so beautiful.
"Um.. Artie's having an after party at breadsticks, would you accompany me?"
Kurt took a deep breath. He didn't want to go to a party, he didn't want other people around. He wanted Blaine all to himself. He wanted to lie with him to kiss him … he wanted tonight to be the night he lost his virginity to the boy he loved. And it was slightly nerve wrecking but not in a bad way.
This was the moment.
"I want to go to your house."
Blaine swallowed. His eyes were still wide and full of emotion. So perfect, so beautiful.
"Okay." He whispered the small hitch in his voice betraying a depth of emotions.
Kurt leaned in and kissed him again wanting to reassure him. He took his hand and gently started pulling him out of the auditorium.
Outside the nights sky was clear and the moon was full. Kurt stopped for a moment to stare at the beautiful silver disk. Blaine did not ask him why but when Kurt turned to look at him he saw his head tilted upward in the same direction.
"Perfect night." Blaine muttered.
"Yes. It will be." Kurt answered walking to Blaine's car before Blaine could answer.
Blaine unlocked the car and opened the door for Kurt who immediately climbed in. Blaine got into the car and turned to look at Kurt. He could tell the other boy was slightly nervous; he also knew that it was not due to the idea of losing his virginity. It was because he didn't want to mess up, he didn't want to make any remarks that would seem like he was pushing Kurt. Kurt knew all this because he knew Blaine, he knew Blaine's way of thinking, he knew Blaine's wants and dreams and what every little expression that passed his face meant.
Kurt reached over and took his hand. He met Blaine's hazelnut eyes and slowly lifted Blaine's hand to his lips. He kissed the back of his hand gently staring at the slightly tanned skin and the long fingers. He loved these hands, these hands stroked him, made him shiver, these hand squeezed his when he felt slightly fed up and needed support. He gently stroked his fingers over the back of Blaine's hand, they were slightly cold from outside. He lifted it to his lips and kissed each of the finger tips.
Blaine's eyes widened slightly and his mouth dropped open slightly. Kurt could not help but kiss those lips. Blaine kissed him back with a kind of soft reserved kiss. When Kurt pulled away Blaine tried to follow him and Kurt had to put his hand on his chest to push him away.
"No." Kurt said shaking his head. "The sooner we get to your place the sooner we can make love." Kurt said breathlessly so there would be no doubt in Blaine's mind about what he wanted.
Blaine stared at him his head tilted to the side. He opened his mouth a few times before he finally managed to emit words.
"Don't you mean make out?" He said with a small fake chuckle.
"No." Kurt shook his head and just allowed himself to take a moment to look at his boyfriend, if his blood wasn't flooding his veins at twice its usual speed he might have found the shocked, delighted, is this happening, wait where did my ability to think in a coherent fashion go?, look on his boyfriends face funny, even adorable. But as it was he was just caught up in how inviting those open lips looked and the slide of his neck and how he had dreamed of burying his face in that neck as Blaine's strong warm body moved against him.
"Kurt.." It was between a gasp and a moan but Kurt knew what he was asking.
" It's not about the other night, I'm ready. I want it. That is if you want it."
"I want it.. yeah.. I .. I want it." Blaine said shocked expression turning to a dazzling smile. They stared at each other for a long moment.
Blaine pulled the car out of the parking lot and started on the half an hour drive to his house. After the first five minutes of driving the delicious anticipation had faded to pure awkward nervousness. What do you talk about when you're about to have sex for the first time?
"I uh.. I've got condoms."
Blaine's breath hitched slightly.
"I've got lube."
Kurt licked his lips slightly. That wasn't really much of a conversation opener Kurt thought. He racked his brain trying to come up with something else to talk about but Blaine probably already knew everything about his day, they had most of their classes together. They had both already talked about the play. Bringing up anything about Finn or his Dad seemed odd and sectionals might stress them out.
"Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth."
Kurt looked over at Blaine; it was not odd that he had just started singing. Blaine's radio had been broken for two weeks now and so they just took it in turns to sing to each other but Kurt knew this was something else. Blaine was trying to break the silence, trying to ease their nerves and also trying to communicate something. His voice was low, slightly shaky but it went straight Kurt's heart.
"Still a bit of you laced with my doubt.
Still a little hard to say what's going on."
Kurt reached out to rest his hand gently against Blaine's on the steering wheel. He took over the song.
"Still a little bit of your ghost you witness.
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed.
You step a little closer each day.
That I can't say what's going on."
Blaine glanced at him with a shy little smile.
"Stones taught me to fly.
Love taught me to lie."
"Life taught me to die.
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball."
"Still a little bit of your song in my ear.
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear.
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on."
"Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie."
"Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon"
There voices joined together.
"Stones taught me to fly.
Love taught me to lie.
Life taught me to die.
So it's not hard to fall when you
When you fight like a cannon ball."
"Stones taught me to fly"
"Love taught me to cry."
"So come on courage!" Kurt shouted squeezing Blaine's hand.
"Teach me to be shy!" Blaine said winking.
"Cause it's not hard to fall."
"And I don't wanna scare you."
"It's not hard to fall."
"And I don't wanna lose."
"It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know."
As they finished the song they smiled across at each other completely comfortable. After all it was time.
When Blaine pulled into the drive way of his house they were both calm and still smiling.
Perhaps a little heavy on the description; what do you think? Reviews?