disclaimer: disclaimed.
dedication: Celia.
notes2: guess where the title comes from.

title: woes of a babysitter
summary: Nami and Zoro should have known better than to leave their daughter in Luffy's care. — Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, Franky, Sanji.






Nami and Zoro should have known better than to leave their daughter in Luffy's care.

The little girl stared up at them all. Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and Franky all very nearly squealed in girlish delight. She was clutching at a sword and smiling a gap-toothed smile so innocent that it could have melted the most hardened criminal's heart. Big wide eyes and mint-green pig-tails, she was so adorable it hurt.

"Can we play hide'n'seek?" she asked, eager and happy.

"Okay," the four pirates awww-ed.

She fluttered her lashes at them. "'Kay! You guys gotta count, an' I'm gonna hide! No cheating!"

There was no saying no to that face.

The four full-grown, manly-men pirates (even Chopper) all covered their eyes, and prepared to count to ten. This was a challenge, as they all counted at different speeds and weren't all quite sure they were counting to ten—that had never been discussed. And so Zoro and Nami's daughter ran off to hide in the depths of the Thousand Sunny, giggling like a manic on drugs.






"Wait, what were we supposed to be counting to?" Chopper asked.


"I thought it was twenty—"

"Fifteen!" Franky posed.

The Straw-Hat Pirates stopped and stared at each other, blinking sort of erratically. A minute passed. And then another. And then a slow grin began to cross Luffy's face. "D'you think she's had enough time to hide?"

Usopp shrugged. "Yeah, probably."

Laughter escaped their captain. "OI, ADA, WE'RE COMING TO FIND YOU!" he yelled into the abyss of the sky and the ship. Her giggles were a soft, answering echo from somewhere far away, and the four of them split in opposite directions without have to talk about it.

They may have been shitty at counting, but they certainly knew their ship better than anyone else.

(Or so they thought.)

Forty-five minutes later when they still hadn't found her, they were all starting to panic.

"OH GOD, ZORO'S GONNA KILL US 'CAUSE WE LOST HIS DAUGHTER," screamed Usopp, before he threw himself on the deck and sobbed dramatically into the wood. Chopper seemed to agree, and joined him. They clung to each other, snot and tears everywhere.

Even Franky looked worried. "We should'a found her by now, I scanned the rooms…"

And Luffy was just perplexed. "ADA, WHERE ARE YOU?"

They continued in this vein for some time.

And then Usopp was running and flailing and Luffy was running and flailing and everyone was running and flailing, and they all knocked into each other and subsequently passed out, twitching unattractively, on the upper deck.

The little girl peeked out from the kitchen.

"Sanji-ojii-san, they're all out! Do I win?"

Sanji glanced down at the little girl, with her bright eyes and her sword. He puffed on his cigarette proudly. "Yeah, you do. Good job. Your mama would be proud."

"YAY!" she screeched, before turning to the role of commandeering-little-child in a trice. "I want cake before mama and daddy get home!"

Sanji grinned. "Course."

She danced back towards the kitchen, pigtails flying.

And this, Sanji thought, was the best thing about other people's children. He could spoil her rotten, and then give her back.

On the deck, Luffy and the others drooled.