River and the Doctor broke apart, panting. "Well," he said, gasping for breath, "you did warn me you're a screamer."
She grinned at him, stretching, and remarked, "You didn't warn me that you were!"
Suddenly looking shy, he stammered... "I... I didn't really know. That I'm a screamer, I mean".
"What? Why not? Surely you've.. well, I know you have; you've said so. And you certainly have... skill, my love."
"Yes, well, thanks, you too, but it's been a... well... quite a while, actually."
She sat back. "Just how long has it been since you've made love?"
"About three minutes. Ow!" She had swatted him. "Oh, all right. Five or six centuries, I'd say."
"What? I know you've had... relations... with people more recently than that. You've said... what about Queen Elizabeth I?"
"Oh... you mean sex!" She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's been a bit more recent... let's see... TARDIS irrelevant to time, 51st century, carry the three..." he trailed off. She rolled her eyes again. "Right then, it's been two-hundred-two years, three months, twelve days, four hours and twenty-seven minutes on my personal timeline sine I last had sex. Before today, I mean, assuming there is a "today" in the TARDIS... but we were talking of making love, not having sex."
Tears filled her eyes. He was the most exasperating man, but sometimes he did say the sweetest things imaginable. "But that means... you haven't... not in this regeneration..."
He beamed at her. "That's why I didn't know about the screaming, you see?" He peered more closely at her, noticing the tears in her eyes. "Did I hurt you? It has been a very long time, and I may have been... er... over-enthusiastic. I don't want to hurt you. Not ever. Not you, River." He looked worried, and she kissed him. "I mean, I don't really want to hurt anyone, that's why I keep Companions around, you know... to keep me from hurting people, but sometimes I can't... and I don't want to hurt people... but you... you're different, River, I... you're not like other Companions, they often treat me like a favorite uncle, but you...you're... River..." He trailed off again, looking more worried than ever.
She climbed into his lap, overbalancing him and landing on top of him. "My love, you are the dearest, most exasperating, loveliest man I've ever met." She kissed him, quite seriously. "Now then, show me what else you've learned over the eons..."
And he did.