Over the past few months I occasionally received notifications that people were following my story, that was really fun! Thank you very much, it has helped me to remember that I still wanted to finish this story.
Real life has been in my way, full time job, household, friends, new baby for my best friend, and I had to study because I was working on an additional diploma. But, I had my final exam yesterday and I passed, all done with school!
So, I´m happy and I´m back to writing. I´ve decided that this will be the last chapter of this story, as I mentioned before I am having trouble writing a multi chapter story so I will work on a few one shots first. Already have tons of ideas for a couple of one shots!
Thank you very much for sticking with me, I really, really, appreciate it. Hope you enjoy the final chapter!
- Chapter 6.
Set in season 7, just before, around and after Rossi's cooking lesson.
Emily is probably right. She mourned the loss of all six of us. And she didn't have the house of a best friend to run to whenever she felt like crying.
But, I don't know…, Reid sighed aloud, JJ had never betrayed me like this. I know she couldn't tell me, and neither could Hotch, but well, I still feel betrayed. Hotch could have stayed here, and not leave me and Jack behind. He probably couldn't live with all that guilt and having to see me every day. And JJ… I guess I should have known something was wrong. She always was there to be my shoulder but she never really cried herself. She just comforted me and heard me out. That's not like JJ. But I guess I was too much in to it.
And now Emily is back.. I'm not really sure what to do tonight. Everyone is going to Rossi's, I think I should go too. Just because they're my family and if they are all willing to work on this as a family, I guess I should be too.
But well, I'd rather stay with Jack. We get along fine! We're like brothers now, especially after Hotch's absence. We had a lot of fun, going to his soccer games and all that. I guess Jessica liked it too that she could have some free time every now and then.
A knock on his bed room door interrupts his train of thoughts. 'Yes?', he calls out, and Jessica appears in his door way.
"Your car is in the driveway, and I saw your shoes and keys in the hallway", she says. "I thought the team was going to Rossi's house for dinner?" she asks with a questioning look.
Reid shrugs. 'They are, I wasn't up for it', he replies. Jessica enters his room and sits down on his bed. "Why? Are you having headaches again? Or are you mad at Aaron for not telling you?"
'No; I know he couldn't tell me!', he says and Jessica reaches out to pat his leg. "but you still feel that he should have, don't you?", she asks kindly. "You know, Spencer, it's okay for you to feel that way. Aaron will understand, and so will the rest of your team. Don't you always say they are like family to you? I know it's hard, you feel like they lied, and that feels unforgivable for you. You trusted them, all of them, especially Aaron, and then he went and lied to you and after that he didn't tell you but he left you and Jack here instead of grieving together with you. You feel left out, treated like a child, and now everybody acts as if nothing ever happened."
She pauses to pat his leg again, then continues.
"But it did happen, and they all choose to make something of it. I know Aaron arranged this dinner, to bring the team back together. I know the rest is coming too, maybe they all still feel betrayed and unsure, but they are grateful that Emily is alive and willing to work on all the things standing between you guys. I know you are happy that Emily is alive, but do you really want to push them away? After all these years, all these great friendships? Go, Spencer. Have dinner with your family, laugh, eat, smile, try to feel happy again that you all are together and able to do this. The rest will come later. You love them, they love you, and I know for sure that their evening will not be the same without you there. It's okay to feel all the things you feel, I know you feel overwhelmed by this whole situation, but don't push it away. Fight for it, go have fun with each other and wait until all the feelings settle down a bit, then sit down with all the people you're mad at or disappointed in and tell them how you felt today. You all need to feel loved again, so just go and have a good time with each other."
Jessica stands up and puts a comforting hand on Reid's shoulder. "I have to go now, Jack's soccer practice ends in a few minutes. I'll see you later, Spencer", she concludes and then she leaves. Reid waits until he hears her car pull out the driveway. Then he lays his head back on his pillow and sighs.
She is right. It won't help if he stays here sulking. Issues will not be solved if he just ignores them, and frankly, he wants to be with them and enjoy their time together. Talking will come later, today he just needs to feel that he belongs in their family.
So he stands and changes his clothes, then walks out the door to go to Rossi's house.
Morgan opens the door. His big smile when he sees Spencer melts away the final doubts he had about coming here and when he walks in to the kitchen he makes himself known by a 'Sorry I'm late!' and deliberately goes to stand next to JJ. She gives him a nervous smile, but he can see she's happy he came by the twinkle in her eyes. And when Rossi declares "Just like a family", he laughs, remembering Jessica's words.
Several days later, Reid has asked Hotch for a personal day. He has given everything a lot of thought after the cooking lesson. They had a good time, and he wants to work on everything and so does everyone else. But he needs his space now, living close to Hotch isn't doing any good for working on their issues. So he spends the day with a realtor, looking at apartments.
By three in the afternoon, he stumbles across the perfect apartment. It's within his budget, closer to work than his last apartment, and it's close to Hotch. That was one of his requirements, since he still wants to be able to visit Jack and Hotch a lot. Also, it has a spare bed room, so Jack can come over whenever he wants to. When he signs the contract he feels happy.
He was ready for this a couple of months ago, but then Emily's death and Aarons deployment came up, and he wanted to stay close to Jack.
He already feels at home in his new apartment, but he will miss Jack and Hotch too. Maybe they will help getting the place ready for him, he thinks. Maybe he can ask the whole team! He's sure they will like to help him move.
He drives to the BAU to tell everyone about his new place, Hotch first, in private.
After some small talk, he clears his throat. 'So, Hotch, I uhm, wanted to tell you something', he starts and he looks Hotch in the eye. 'I want to thank you for everything you did for me, I had a great time living with you and Jack. But just before Emily died, I started thinking of having my own apartment again. Don't get me wrong, I loved living with you and you taught me a lot and I really appreciate that you let me be a big brother to Jack, but well, I needed my space. But then Emily happened, and you went away and everything so I wanted to stay close. I'm not pushing you away or anything, but I went to look at apartments today and I found the perfect one, just three blocks away. And it has a spare bedroom, so Jack can stay over if he wants. I don't want you to think it's because of what happened, I just need my own space again. I feel like we can work better on what happened if we're not around each other every day. And I really thank you for everything, it was really nice of you to let me move in and to help me with stuff and let me be a big brother. I feel like now I have something that I didn't have when I was growing up, and that feels really special and..'
Hotch raises his hand in a stopping gesture and chuckles. "Reid, stop rambling, I understand! I am glad you feel special now, but I always knew this day would come. You're an adult, and I helped you when you needed that, but I always knew that there would be a day when you would need your own space again. I already had a feeling that this was your reason for a personal day. So, when can we see your new place?"
Reid smiles enthusiastically. 'Uhm, maybe tonight? I can invite everyone and we can go to dinner afterwards?'
"That would be great, Reid. Why don't you tell the rest of the team, and I will pick up Jack before we come over to your apartment."
And so another dinner as a family happened. The whole team, plus Will, Henry and Jack came over to look at his new place. Morgan immediately made plans for some minor renovation, and after everyone congratulated Reid with his new place, they all went out for dinner.
Three weeks later, Reid moved his stuff in to his new apartment, together with Morgan and Hotch. Jack helped as good as possible, and after they finished, Rossi brought in some lasagna for the whole team while the girls came in with bags full of groceries to stock up his new kitchen.
And as the ate Rossi's lasagna together, in his new apartment, Reid looked around his family and smiled. They were healing, and they were a happy family. What more could he ask for after all that happened?
* * The End * *