The "Big Mutant On Campus" Series
By David D. Amaya

Part Seven "Evil Dreams Sweet Nightmares"
Chapter 1

Disclaimer: As always; the first step of the journey.

A lone figure sits in silence in the sun-lit mansion's atrium. A grandfather clock, which has kept time in the main hall of the House of Xavier since 1723, breaks the serenity of the moment as it begins playing Westminster Chimes.

After sixteen notes in the key of E-major fill the room, Twelve hard strikes signal noontime in the snow-capped Hudson River Valley. Then the room falls silent once more.

The figure sighs, though he isn't sure if that's a sign of fatigue or frustration. It is now twelve hours until Monday and sunset is not for five and a half more hours, but one guest of the grand mansion stares out of a window, a dozen different questions race through his head.

Cyrus Parkman has a lot of things on his young mind as he peered out to the unseasonably bright afternoon sky, wondering what the rest of this day has in store for his classmates, and himself. Then, a soft prompting of a notebook computer, snaps him out of his reverie.

EmeraldWizard Has logged on at 09:00 Pacific

{PwrPlnt} HEY IMOOTO! *You* just NOW getting' up!

{EmWiz}Urusai gaki! I was up all night going through the code on Kuriputon's overgrown SingleUnit, and the coffee maker's STILL broke! It's getting early, and I'm fiening for a liter of KOHHI, NAMEN NAYO!

{PwrPlnt} Boil it on the stove and filter it from the drip pan into your thermos! Do I gotta think of everything! I'm waiting for the tornado in the kitchen to die down to so I can wolf down a leftover burger.

{EmWiz}What happened? Food fight?

{PwrPlnt}A tornado **literally!** Bobby said something about Ororo's lunch and SHE'S *MAD!* Timeout whilst I sip on the Varsity Team's new supply of Jamaican Blue Mountain. ::SLURP!::

You'd be amazed what a WHMO paperwork snafu, and a Signal Lt's addiction to rare Anime, can get you in DWEEBvill!

{EmWiz} KITANE-NA, 'WATT! You know haha & chichi are on their way to Casper to see my ane! I wanted to sleep in, kyou! It's Nichiyoubi, Chikusho!

So what's so important this couldn't wait until I get an omu-raisu, some tamagoyaki and a bowl of miso inside me!

{PwrPlnt}Well YOU were the one who said 'let me know when you are going to begin your mono-2-mono workouts' I just wanted to let you know that it's happening… Oh about *a cuppla hours ago-ish!* So while I'm waitin' to grub, I thought I'd rub your nose in it!


{PwrPlnt} Domo arigato gozaimasu!

{EmWiz} Spill nezu Kisama! What was in your lesson plan!

{PwrPlnt}Well, while the rest were in the RecRoom, or the Hanger Deck, or the other classrooms getting tutored by the rest of the starting lineup, Remy got us first dibs on the DANGER ROOM!


"You have ta be one wit' de object, non ami," Gambit instructed Kilowatt through the danger room simulation. "You have to extend wit de five senses. You have to feel it at your command, then voilà!"

Cyrus Parkman took each word to heart. He knows that Gambit is taking his role as sensei, (or instructor) very seriously. So Kilowatt knows as the minarai, (apprentice) he must make the most of each important lessen from his new Cajun tatsujin, (master).

Taking slow, deep measured breaths, he concentrates. The Apollo 13 quote "Failure is not an option" does not do this situation justice. Kilowatt knows in his heart the shame of letting Gambit down will be too great for him to bear.

Then, in the next instant, the lesson bore fruit. The hard work paid off! Kilowatt just completed his first, of what both master and student hope will be, many important lessons.

"Magnifique jeune étudiant! You be a fast learner, I dear say even faster than I, but I began learning ta use my skills when I was eight."

"Thanks, Gambit," The President's son remembers to call his sensei by his codename while they're in a training session. "I bet you didn't have such a good teacher as you!"

"Merci beaucoup fo dem kind words," Gambit was touched and now believes what the Professor and Kordel mean when they say how rewarding teaching is. "Fact 'o de matter be that dis first lesson a great milestone for you. It ain't everyday you learn to crack yo first safe! An' doin' it on the first try and under four minutes! You have very nimble fingers, garçon!

"Well, I can type 110-words-a-minute!" Kilowatt cracked his knuckles. "I gotta admit I kinda like this breaking and entering stuff! This reminds me of my first White hat intrusion!

"Before I moved to DC, there was this scumbag company, Roxxon Energy, that was illegally dumping hazmat waste in Everett Forest. My dad was investigating them when he was still a Senator, but he felt bad we were leaving for DWEEB-vill before he could ever get the goods on 'em."

"An' you and de Oz use your evil techno-mojo for de good, getting dirt for your pa," A grin formed on the face of the master thief. "'Cause as long as they didn't steal it dey'selves they could use it in court."

"Amazing the things you learn on Wikipedia! And it's called 'Hacktivism' Remy! We found find the evidence of the dumping, right away and they weren't just dumping in my back yard! Once we found they were still dumping world-wide on a server in their Madipoor offices, we were afraid if we tried to copy the memos and the dumping paperwork and all the e-mail files we found, they'd destroy it if we got pinched. So dove into the leftover money in dad's campaign funds to purchase enough stock in Roxxon to be hold 'Preferred Stockholder' status which allowed us access to their Preferred Investor database. That's what we used to acquire root access to their 'firewall protected' computer servers!" The young hacker used his fingers to make air quotes with a large grin several times for his Cajun tatsujin, who stood shocked.

"And how old you two be when this go down, dex?"

"Nine." The President's son replied with pride and a grin.

"How much could scratch could une paire de neuf ans, les enfants scrape together in a week?"

"Seventy-five hundred grand."

"Chaudesacrément!" the master thief exclaimed. "Boy, 'cause you daddy ain't impeached an you don look dead, it be the only way I know you succeed!"

"That was the only time I wish I wasn't so damn smart, but we put it all back WAY before the Inauguration and no one knew it was ever missing!" He assures the Cajun. "Well, once we gained access to their server network, it was easy to insert a data-grabbing worm to gather the goods on 'em and send it to a server on US soil! It all trickled in to a server on in their offices in Maryland, piggy-backed in every e-mail they sent on their network. We waited a week, watching Roxxon stock skyrocket until I was visiting dad in his senate office in the Fed Building on 2nd Ave the day before he was leaving office. Oz sold off all the stock to LexChem for a boatload of cash then rerouted all the collected data to dad's office!"

"You should have BEEN THERE! Once Oz sent the transmission codes, all three fax machines in the office kept runnin' outta paper! In just five days we gathered 4,000 pages of incriminating evidence! We had to jack fourteen reams of paper from six different Government offices; ATF, FBI, SHIELD, the VA, the U.S. Geological Survey and the Census Bureau!" Then the President's son had a thoughtful look on his face. "It's funny though, the EPA was all outta paper that day."

"An' speaking 'bout paper, how much you make in the deal, boy?"

"It wasn't about the money, Gambit. We donated most of it to help clean up the Forest." He tells the Cajun thief who just stands there in disbelief.

"Okay, okay, it wasn't JUST about the money." He admits. "We had a little left over. But instead of buying in a ton of evil genius parts, Uncle Jake convinced us to put it in a pair of ten-year certificates of deposit, earning 2.49% daily, in a few Canadian banks in the Grand Cayman. Ones that have branches ferry-ride close, just across the border in British Columbia but to answer your question, lets say when I graduate high school, I'll never have to worry about having exact change again!

"I KNOW I'm gonna enjoy these secessions! This stuff is real hands-on, blue-collar crime!"

"Pas le crime, le jeune apprenti! We just liberating from the Haves and redistributing the treasure to the Have-nots. The real lesson you needing to take away today is having NOT get caught! De X-Men do many tings that is frowned upon, but I doubt dey be happy the President's son is really learnin' important skills for de future. Non?"

"I won't say nuthin' if you don't!"


The only thing my science tutor is showing me on the side is how to play the harmonica! (`.') So what was in the safe, *minarai dorobou?*

{PwrPlnt}Oh, just chapter one of "The Knowledge **Clandestine!**" The original hand-written instructions for opening that safe that I **begged** Remy to write *for you!* He said I could scan & send it to you if I got it open in under five minutes. That is *IF* you want it!

*ATTACHED FILE: safecracker .pdf*

{EmWiz}Why otooto! You shouldn't have! Allow me to pause whilst I add such expert instruction to my extensive Library of Darkness! :p

{PwrPlnt}Well, what do you think?

{EmWiz} θ?θ I think this is written in *FRENCH!* ?-(

{PwrPlnt} NOW you know what I have to go through with each lesson!

{EmWiz}How do you expect me use these skills if I can't understand it!

{PwrPlnt}The same way I did. Take lessons in the language of your sensei! Didn't you tell me you still have a hole to fill in your class schedule?

{EmWiz}Good point otooto, so what else are you doing today?

"Hey! Parkman!" A gruff voice called out, causing the young mutant to look up from his computer.

"Hi ya, Logan. What's up?"

"Jennie said ta tell you the chef salad-cyclone's over," He said as he chewed on an unlit cigar from the archway. "You can get some chow now."

"Thanks. I'll be there in a sec."

{PwrPlnt}Hang on, Oz. I've been told the coast is clear! Back in a minute!

"One more thing," Logan mentioned for him to stay seated. The way he stood there with his eyes rolled up indicated he was conversing with a telepath. "She also said ta tell you, and mind you this is her talkin' here, you may be the President's boy, but if you come back in here and leave ketchup stains on the couch or coffee rings on the table, not even G-Man's gonna be able to rescue you, Gumbo, Jr!" he remarked pointing at him with his cigar.

"Thanks, Wolfenstein!" he replied, leading the feral mutant to extend three claws in a menacing manor as he snarled.

The President's son extended his left hand, showing Logan that both sides were empty, then snapped his wrist and a 7 of clubs magically appeared between his thumb and forefinger ready to charge.

Logan nodded approvingly. "You're learnin' fast, kid. But Jeannie does get serious about the stains in here. I know."

"On second thought, I think I'll eat in the kitchen," With another flick of Cyrus' wrist the card disappeared just like Remy showed him.

{PwrPlnt} Sorry 'bout that, but I gotta sign off instead. We're headed for the library for the 2nd half of this session in 30, so I'll hit you up after we're done, 'kay?

{EmWiz}Konnichiwa, Sairasu-san. Later!

PowerPlant Has Logged out 14:14 Eastern

EmeraldWizard Has Logged out 11:14 Pacific

"Howdy, this is the Lazy Q, the place for you. How may I help you this fine Texas morning?"

"Good afternoon, Charlie. Do not tell me that Maverick had been promoted to the boss and you demoted to PA."

"Afternoon Special Agent Professor Nichols. I'm just fillin' in for Maverick so he can study for his midterms, can't have my right hand-cowpoke's grades start to slip."

"He is a good young man, Charlie."

"Tell me something I don't know, Lariat."

"Kryptonite's favorite new doll is a replica of Nightcrawler that Kilowatt gave her for her birthday Friday night on behalf of everyone from both schools."

"No SHIT? What did Ziegler say?"

"He went apeshit about the President's daughter falling head over heels in love with a MetaHuman:Threat Level 3-Watch List member's avatar."

"I truly now believe you joined the Service just for all the charming people you come across, Lariat. So what is on the lesson plan for this fine Sunday morning?"

"All the students are going into several ability-specific tutoring secessions. After our last meeting yesterday, my first task was tutoring one of the tutors. He is a nice young man. You would like him, and to be frank, he reminds me of you."

"Happy and handsome, Lariat?"

"I was about to say humble and down to earth, Charlie. If he is anything like his younger sister, he shall be fine."

"So what did you have to tutor him in? Takedowns? First strike blows?"

"Teaching others how to fly."

"The phrase 'Those who can, do. Those who can't teach.' Come to mind, son."

"Thanks you both for joining the five of us here in the dining room," Banshee tells his young students as they sit at the head of the large table. "While you lassies are very skilled in your ability to fly, no skill is mastered unless you train. But as training accidents happen to even the best of the world's pilots, we'll take this time to walk you through the maneuvers we have planned for this exercise."

Storm rose from her seat and approached the large easel and took a piece of chalk as she spoke. "We shall cover the basic elements of flight," She also wrote this on the board. "Including coordination, timing and control in straight-and level flight, turns, climbs, and descents. All controlled flight consists of either one, or a combination of more than one, of these basic maneuvers. We will warm up with simple flight tests I am sure you both proficient in, then work on formation flight. It is our task to instruct you to fly as a team, so your movements become second nature."

"Yea, sugah," Rogue continued. "While I know it's fun to fly, and dawg-fightin' can make y'all feel real good. It ain't fun if y'all crash into your wingman."

"I said I was sorry Miss Rogue."

"Wern't yore fault, Sammy," She reassured him. "I was makin' a point to the young'ns."

"The most important thing we will concentrate on this afternoon is your safety," Angel resumed the lesson. "We'll take it slow the first time around the grounds and walk through the flight plan we are going to cover here. Once we get a feel for your skills, we'll take it from there and start to do the really fun stuff!" Banshee and Storm gave him slightly stern looks.

"Jubilee was right, Sammy," Rogue whispered to Cannonball. "Everbody here does kinda look like that yankee revenuer when they get their dander up." Causing him to chuckle.

I heard that you guys.

As did I, Firestorm.

"Moving right along, lassies. Who can tell me the critical flight dynamics parameters? Firestorm?"

"I learned several schools of thought on flying, which one do you want, Mech, Nat, or Trans."

The adults in the room were at a loss as they did not expect that answer. "I am intrigued young one, Would you be so kind to share each 'school of thought' with us, Firestorm?"

"Of course, Storm," Firestorm rose and approached the chalkboard. "I learned from my dad, who never had flight lessons, but used his security clearance to obtain SHIELD files on mutant flight to teach me the other two, but I'm assuming Banshee was referring to the Mechanical School, or basic flight mechanics, right?

"The first critical flight dynamic is thrust, or forward momentum," The Admiral's daughter wrote on the chalkboard. "then there are three different axis; lateral, longitudinal and vertical that affect direction of flight; pitch, up and down," She explained holding a gravy boat to demonstrate. "Yaw, turning port or starboard. And roll, or spin. I learned that from combat manuals I borrowed from daddy's office."

"Correct, Firestorm," M pronounced, "but what of these other 'schools' you referred to?"

"Birds, bees, and pterodactyls have never learned the mechanics of flight, so the Natural School of Flight says; Just spread your wings and fly! Like a stone or a Frisbee is really up to you and gravity to work it all out."

"That sounds like something Moira would say, lass. What is the 'Trans School of Flight'"


"Trans-what?" Cannonball asked. "That sounds like something in Bobby's new hot rod."

"I had to look that word up in the Encyclopedia Britannica myself, Cannonball." Firestorm took a report binder from her bag and handed it to Storm. "When my dad found about my kãhuli hiki he used his SHIELD clearance and got this 1986 study on Metahuman Abilities from a defunct agency called GRAMPA, the Global Reaction Agency for Mysterious Paranormal Activity. He hoped this is would help me to fly."

"Can y'all just give us the Readers Digest version, hon?"

"Sure, Rogue. In short, four of us in this room can have their kino lele, our ability to fly, explained using scientific principals, Angel can fly like a bird. Cannonball's powers allow him to achieve jet propulsion; Storm is able to fly by creating winds strong enough to support her weight and to propel her forward through the air. Banshee can move on air currents generated by his own sonic waves. And I can generate enough geothermal heat to become lighter than air. Despite not proving why we have those powers, science can explain how we can fly."

"What of Ms Rogue and I, Firestorm?"

"That is the conclusion of this paper, M. A 1934 French scientist had applied the equations of air resistance to bumblebees and found that their flight could not be explained by fixed-wing calculations, this has led to a common misconception that bees 'violate aerodynamic theory,'" She retrieved the report from Banshee, thumbed towards the back of the report, and recited from the text. "'The ability to fly may come from wings or other visible means of propulsion, but transvection flight of meta-human or "god-like powers," may simply never be explained by the scientific community.' This is just a scientific way of saying 'no one knows!'"

"I don't know about the rest of ya'll, but this busy bee wants to take to the wild blue yonder!"

"Thanks for joining us this afternoon, Husk, Glacier," Shadowcat was sitting on a workbench next to where Colossus was standing. "We asked you two to join Colossus, Lockheed, and I in the Hanger Deck because the Professor would like us to concentrate on your ability to alter the molecular structure of your bodies. Now where did I leave that folder? Oh, yea, I left it in here."

She phased her arm through the workbench and produced a folder that was in the drawer underneath "Let's see what the professor has here; 'Ms. Guthrie sheds her outermost layer of skin to reveal a new layer of the properties of what she may turn into, but does not have the degree of control to choose the exact elemental properties. While Mr. McPherson's outer epidermis does not alter, but his body mimics the properties of material that he comes into contact with.' Okay, we have here several types of materials here in the Hanger Deck to experiment with but let's get a little background so we know how to start. Husk, what types of matter have you transformed into?"

"I have turned into steel, iron, marble, rubber, diamond as well as other stuff."

"Thank you, Husk. Glacier, what about you?"

"I've never changed into anything exotic," he reached into his pocket and produced his lucky silver dollar and flipped it at her. "I usually turn into this. I keep it in my back pocket. But I have turned into other stuff when I have to rumble; aluminum from a baseball bat, chrome vanadium off hand tools, bricks, chain-grade steel, and the business end of Jay's switchblade. Once I've even sponged off the rivets on my Levi's."

"Have you ever changed into non-weapons grade items, comrade?"

The young mutant blushed, "Well, and this is when we first discovered our mutant powers and had no real control mind you, I was absorbing stuff when I got upset. There was this time Yoink was pestering me and froze my corn on the cob, I reached for his hat and didn't know he hid magnets in it. Well, I chased him, passed a chain-link fence and I was stuck to it for half an hour!"

"Okay, Stewie-"

"Please stop calling me Stewie, Robere." Rafale asked Iceman while they were at the speaker's platform of the lecture hall, but Iceman continued as if he didn't hear him, as he held up a stopwatch.

"This drill is gonna be the toughest thing you attempted yet. You ready?"




"and GO!" he said as he hit the stopwatch and Rafale began his latest drill.

"Come on, Stewie! Five seconds, you're falling behind! Remember I can do this in under thirty! Twenty seconds, Stewie! Let's move, move, move! And STOP! Let's see here, 35.05 seconds. We're going to have to work on your time."

"Just answer me this, Robere. What tactical benefit was in having me freeze all these shot-glass molds?"

"Practicing for the party scene, Stewie!"

"I don't drink, Robere. Besides the legal drinking age in the Yukon is nineteen."

"So what did you and Jono end up doing, Angelo?"

"Well we were in the back with Wolverine and the Fearless Leader, and he came up with interesting ways to test our powers, homes."

"The professor told me he is contacting special tutors to help you both concentrate on your unique abilities," Cyclops informed Skin and Chamber as he was pacing in the back yard with a basketball under his arm. "but as we have this hour, Wolverine and I came up with a few unique ways to test your abilities. First, is an exercise to test your reaction time. If you'll please take ten steps back and turn to face the pond guys."

After the pair of young mutants counted off ten paces and showed their backs to the two X-Men.

"When I count to three, there will be an active threat presented to each of you. React as best you can to eliminate the threat. Ready guys?"

"Si, líder sin miedo!"

"Are you ready, Wolverine?"

"Just speed this up, Cyke," he grunted. "Red Wings an' Penguins face off in an hour!"

"Okay, ONE, TWO, THREE!"

When the two teenagers spun back around, Skin was facing a basketball thrown at his head.

"So how's you guys 'eliminate the threat,' Ange?"

"I wrapped my arm around the rock, and launched a three-pointer from mucho long distance, swish!"

"What about Jono?"

The young Englishman turned around to find Wolverine had thrown a football at him; in he response unleashed a psionic energy blast obligating it in midair.

"Jono nailed that pigskin so hard it made me hungry for some of those leftover carnitas, homes!"

"How did they react?"

"Cyclope, had a clipboard and wanted to write down what we were thinking just before we acted, when Jono said 'England, mate.' I couldn't stop laughing! Well, that is until Wolverine gave us six reasons to shut the fuck up."

"Let me see if I've been following along. The flyers are going to be chasing kites, Kilowatt is using natural artillery with a bayou accent, the Canadian is with the CPA, the metamorphs are turning into armor plates, and Scott an' Logan's working a couple balls short of walkin' in a run."

"All correct so far, Charlie."

"What about the rest of the team, Lariat?"

"Charles and the leadership are attempting to secure the services of certain tutors for some of the students, though there is one assignment I wanted to volunteer for."

"Please tell me it ain't as a javelin catcher, son."

"I will tell you once I begin, but I doubt it will be in the coming weeks anyway."

"Well what about you, Lariat? What are you going to be doing with your time off?"

"What time off, Charlie? I will be teaching several courses to the students in the coming weeks, but admittedly they will be more formal, so the leadership thought it be a good challenge for me to plan, prepare and execute an informal training session for four students, on whatever subject I wished, but inside the span of only an hour."

"Good test, but what could you scrap together during an episode of 'Dallas'?"

"An exercise that tests agility, speed, teamwork, weapon handling, defensive tactics, attack strategy and fighting prowess."

"I have dedicated half my life to honing these exact skills," Special Agent Kordel Nichols told the four assembled in the front drive of the Xavier Institute. "I do not expect any of you to utilize these techniques immediately, but if you train hard, you too can be as élite as the teammates I have had the honor and privilege of working with!

"Now as no soldier in the history of modern warfare can be effective unless they can carry their weapon the correct way, our first lesson this afternoon is how to properly hold the hockey stick."

Looking to his four students, Moira MacTaggart, Kurt Warner, Artie Maddicks and Leech each had a stick that was matched to their height on roller skates.

"Skaters can skate with one hand in a sideways motion when they are in open ice," Kordel demonstrated simple skating to his beginning students. "But when you do expect to get the puck or are approaching a player with it on defense, you need to have both hands on your stick.

"Now the rule of thumb in holding your stick is 'the rule of thumb,'" Kordel held up his stick. "Hold your stick with your dominate hand chin high at the tip, this is your top hand, now place your elbow of your other hand on top of your glove thumb, grasping the stick with both hands. Great everyone! Now place the blade of your stick on the floor in front of your bellybutton."

Once all four of his students held their sticks properly, their instructor smiled.

End of Part one

©David D. Amaya 2011