Sorry this took so long. I still have every intention of continuing this story. I hope you guys like this chapter!
The chill of the morning awoke me from a dead sleep. Confusing images flashed across my eyes, however none of them stuck and any memories of last night's dreams disappeared.
The light from the coming morning was just creeping out behind the grey clouds. The crisp air drifted through the open window above my bed, causing goosebumps to pop up along my exposed arm. The other, tucked warmly underneath Santana's abdomen, had gone numb at some point during the night. I peered up at her face; her cheek smashed up against her shoulder and stifled a laugh.
Another shiver ran through my body, stirring Santana momentarily. She grumbled, flipping over on her side, giving me enough slack to pull my arm free.
I hopped up, shivering again as I exposed my entire body to the chill. The window made a quiet click as I pushed it shut, my warm fingers making rough silhouettes against the frosted covered glass.
I looked around the room Santana and I shared. My bed, with the covers neatly arranged and pillows piled perfectly below the headboard, looked like it hadn't been slept in for weeks. Of course looks do not deceive, I'd been sleeping in Santana's bed every night since we got back from my parents house.
I looked down at my sleeping girlfriend, my eyes instinctively turning toward the door, checking that the lock was securely twisted upward.
I'd told Santana I was okay hiding our relationship, and I still was, if that was the only way for us to be together right now. But I won't lie; part of me is getting so sick of lying. I hate having to look over my shoulder every time I want to kiss her.
Santana's heaved a huge sigh and flipped over once again, this time, taking over the entire bed with her stretched out form.
I smiled widely and shook my head. "I love you so much." I whispered.
Santana, of course, responded with another low murmer and pulled the covers up tightly around her, continuing along with her sleep as if I hadn't spoken.
Still feeling a chill, I pulled Santana's favorite sweater off the hook on the back of the door, throwing it around my shoulders. I pushed the fabric to my nose and breathed in the familiar scent. Someone told me once that scent is the strongest of all the five senses when trying to recall memory. This fact had been proven to me many times, and as I breathed in Santana's sweet smell, images of our first kiss, the first time we'd slept together, and the first time I realized I was falling in love with her, ran through my mind.
I realized there was no way I would be able to go back to sleep and Santana looked like she'd be unconscious for another couple hours at least.
Making up my mind, I pushed my arms through her sweater, closing the zipper and flipping up the hood. I tightened the hood around my ears and threw my heavy school jacket over the sweater. I pulled my boots out from under my bed and stuffed my sockless feet into the fur lined shoes.
Just in case Santana did wake while I was gone I wrote up a little note and left it by her bed. I kissed her cool cheek and snuck quietly out the door.
The halls were dark and eerie as I crept through them. I kept envisioning running into Santana's dad around every corner, but I made it to the front doors and out into the cold morning without any obstacles.
The cold air burned my nose as I walked quickly off school grounds and toward the cemetery.
I hadn't been to see my mom in a while, memories of my last visit hanging in the forefront of my mind, the grief I'd gone to her in.
I followed the iron fence until I reached the large domed gate. The gate was slightly ajar, and I only needed to nudge it open a few more inches to allow myself to slip through.
I kept my eyes to the ground as I worked my way past what felt like hundreds of gravestones, back to the one familiar marker.
I kneeled down and looked at her name carefully etched into the stone, each letter as gracefully placed as the next one. The standard inscription placed below, praising her for being a wonderful daughter, mother, and wife. Then below that, her date of birth followed by the date of her death.
I felt a twinge of pain tighten around my heart, "It's going to snow soon, Mom. Remember how much you loved the snow?"
"You loved it so much that even when you couldn't stand to be out in the cold any longer, you'd have me sit with you by the window and we'd sip hot chocolate, watching as our footprints disappeared beneath the fresh snow."
"I miss you more with everything that I do, with every accomplishment I can't share with you."
My cold cheeks burned as the salty liquid fell down my cheeks. "This wasn't what I wanted to talk about…"
Through my tears I found a smile as I thought of Santana sleeping peacefully in our shared bed back at the school. "That girl I mentioned last time I was here, Santana, I still can't really believe it but I wanted you to know that she loves me too, Mom."
"She's perfect. I've never met anyone who fit me better than she does. She makes me feel things I didn't know I wanted, does things I didn't know I needed."
The wind kicked up some dead leaves, blowing them across the ground in front of me. I snatched one up, twirling the stem around in my fingers.
"I wish you could have met her."
I looked down at the leaf in my hand, yellow at the tip, fading to red as it reached the stem. The leaf was the shape of a heart, but it was as if the heart was being squeezed together from both sides, slowly bleeding the life out of something that was once so alive.
I looked around and saw the barren tree it must have came from a few feet away. Vague memories of the tree on the day we buried my mother came into my mind. Then it had been covered in bright green leaves, something so healthy now dead and bare.
I threw away the crumbling leaf and wiped the tears from my face.
"I know I'll never get over losing you, but she makes me feel like I can live with it. After all, there's nothing else I can do, can I?"
I buried my forehead in my palm. "Well, I better get back, Mom."
I stood, stuffing my freezing hands into the sanctity of my jacket pockets. "I love you. I'll be back soon."
I tried to sneak back into my room, but Santana sat upright in the bed, one ear bud in, the other hanging off her shoulder.
When she saw me enter she took off the headphones and tossed them on the table beside her. "Come here, Babe."
Her eyebrows were scrunched, and I could see the worry set beneath her smile.
"I'm okay, really…"
She pursued her lips, tilting her head slightly. I could tell she didn't believe me.
Instead of saying anything more, she got out of the bed and came over to me. She silently unbuttoned my jacket, slipping it off my shoulders and letting it fall to the floor.
Santana's warm hands linked through mine, and she led me over to the bed. She pulled me down next to her, taking my boots and throwing them aside, covering the two of us with the warm blanket.
She wrapped her arms around me, and I felt her lips press against the top of my head, "Talk to me."
I buried my face into her shoulder, trying to keep the sadness that overwhelmed me at the cemetery from following me into this room.
"I just needed to tell her something."
Santana's fingers ran up and down my arm; a practice which, I'd come to learn, meant she was nervous about something – her equivalent to pacing.
"I needed her to know about you. I needed her to know that I'd found you."
"Oh…" this time I could feel her unease turn into a smile.
I looked up at her and smiled, unable to help a few tears from falling. "She would have loved you."
She used her thumb to push away my tears, "I love you." She whispered, and leaned down to meet my lips.
I felt a rush of energy as she kissed me.
I let the sadness float into the background of my mind as I shrouded myself in her comfort and warmth.
I was unaware of how long we laid there together, but eventually I fell back asleep.
Sometime later I was awoken by a knock on the door or our bedroom.
I noticed Santana stirring at the sound beside me. Her sleepy eyes looked towards the door in confusion. "What time is it?" She asked turning her head back into the pillow.
I grabbed for my phone, "It's just past 10am."
"Santana!? Brittany!?" this time the knock was followed by a familiar voice yelling our names.
"Ugh," I fell out of bed and flicked the lock open, turning immediately to get back into bed.
"About time!" Rachel said, bursting in the second the door was unlocked.
"Sorry Rachel, we were sleeping." Santana said, with a bit of annoyance. "You know, what most teenagers are doing at this time on a Saturday."
"Sorry, but I told the guys we'd meet them at noon."
"Who's we?" I said, "And what guys?"
"Kurt and Blaine! They called me last night and purposed we grab lunch followed by some early Christmas shopping!"
Santana grumbled and flipped the comforter over her head.
"I have to pick up Quinn's gift and I still haven't figured out what to buy my dad's. Kurt and Blaine said they'd help, plus we haven't seen the two of them in awhile."
Another loud grumble came from underneath the blanket.
"They're really looking forward to seeing you two. You know the new happy couple."
The blanket flipped up again, and Santana's frustrated face appeared, "Fine, we'll come. We'll meet you downstairs at 11:45..? Okay?"
Rachel beamed, "Okay! See you in a little!"
Having got what she wanted, Rachel made a quick exit. I found myself laughing at how well she knew Santana.
"You got guilt tripped, babe. You got guilt tripped bad."
She swatted my arm, "Shut up."
"What?" I shrugged my shoulders, "You're just mad cause now I know how easy you are…"
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Santana said, tossing the comforter off her completely and getting out of bed.
"It's okay, babe. I'll make sure no one takes advantage of you ever again."
Santana turned her back to me, removing her shirt and exposing her bare back. "You gonna keep talking?" She said, pushing off her sweats and leaving herself naked before me. She ignored my dropped jaw, grabbing her towel off the back of the desk chair and wrapping it around her body. "Or are you coming?"
She walked out the door without another word.
I hope you all enjoyed this. Next one coming soon!
Please review and let me know what you think.
Also, to every fan of Glee whose heart was broken by the news of Cory's passing, you aren't alone. People don't get how we can mourn someone we never met, but just because we never met him, doesn't mean that we didn't know him. RIP Cory Monteith, you were the best kind of person.