Hi guys! so i know i haven't updated for "My Perfect Weapon" lately. I'm busy with finals. However, this just popped in my head and i had to get it on here before i forgot. *YES THERE IS SELF INJURY TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT* this story is dark, but its what i'm feeling, i have had a lot of drama lately. i'm in a dark mood. enjoy :3


Maka sat next to the open window, she was leaning against the wooden frame for support.

All she wanted was red.

She was curled in a tight ball, broken sobs escaping from her mouth.

"What's wrong with me?" She whispered silently to nobody.

Soul didn't know this side of her. When the flashing red letters on her alarm clock changed to 4 and her beloved sythe was asleep. Maka began to fall apart.

Maka thought of everything during this time, her friends that were never there, her dysfunctional father that leaves her cold, and the love of her life that will never love her back.

During the day Maka put on a mask. A pretty face and a kind heart, knowing exactly what to do and can achieve anything in the world.

If only that was the true her.


Maka rose her head slowly, eyes rimmed red and tears flowing down her pink cheeks.

What her emerald eyes saw brought a twisted smile to her face, it was four at last, time to become happy.

The young girl pushed herself off of the cold floor and started towards the comfort of her warm bathroom.

Her fragile legs wobbled with excitement when she reached the bathroom door, she paused before opening it, resting her hand on the cold metal.

Finally she turned the knob and rushed into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her quietly.


She turned on the light switch to reveal a normal bathroom.

The walls were painted egg shell white, there was a small shower, and fluffy white towels resting on their hangers. The counter was scattered with Maka's makeup products and Soul's cologne.

Maka smiled and picked up the navy blue bottle, she sprayed it carefully and inhaled the crisp scent.

"mmm" she hummed, "it's like having Soul in a bottle"

Finally Maka turned and faced the mirror, she inhaled sharply at the horrific sight.

Her pigtails were knotted, and black tears were running from her wide green eyes. Her nose was cherry red and she was wearing her daily attire.

"I'm so ugly" she thought as a tear ran down her face.

"not for long"

Maka lightly tugged on the rubberbands, they fell to the tiled floor and bounced off into corners of the small bathroom.

She looked up to see her sandy hair rippled around her slender face in loose waves and frowned.

Still not happy.

She loosened the silky green tie around her neck and threw it to the floor. Her fingers then wandered to the buttons of her stiff dress shirt.

She slowly released each button until the rough fabric restraining her popped open.

Maka shrugged her way out of the shirt, allowing it to fall to the floor in a pile of stiff fabric.

She opened her eyes and smiled at her reflection.

The black tank she wore exposed her arms to the open light, it was the true her, no longer hiding under the crisp fabrics of her dress shirt.

Everything was visible.

The cuts were visible.

Angry, red lines ran down her arms in narrow streaks.

She laughed softly and ran her fingers along the ridges of her lovely injury.

Maka studied the puckered lines, the sudden pain ripped through her.

She needed to do it again. Now.

Maka opened the medicine cabinet, inside was a small, red box.

She set the box on the counter with care and opened the delicate lid, inside was a pair of sparkling earrings.

They were white and beautiful, when you held them to the light they glinted red.

Soul had gotten them for her birthday.

Carefully slipping her thumbnail under the crack between the box wall and the cardboard the earrings rested on, she lifted up to reveal her secret.

A shiny razor.

Maka picked up the sharp metal and allowed it to rest in her open palm.

It glinted in the hard bathroom light, calling for Maka.

Maka held it between her thumb and forefinger, pointed her vulnerable wrist upward.

She slowly pressed down and watched it enter her.


Maka bit her lip at the sharp pain shooting up her arm.

A drop of red exited the wound and rolled down her arm. A plea for her to stop.

"No" Maka whispered

"I want more red"

She loved the color. It was the color of love. Maka had fallen in love with it, she liked the way it sparkled in the light, the way it trickled down her skin like she was a painting, the way it felt warm.

She slid the razor across her exposed skin and cried out at the pain

"Ah!" She squeezed her emerald eyes shut tightly and bit down on her lip to prevent waking Soul.

More deep red dripped down her creamy skin, reaching her elbow now.

Relief shot through her body and she smiled, "I'm alive"

Maka removed the razor from her wrist and placed it on her shoulder.

"more" she gasped before slipping it quickly across her shoulder

She bit down on her lip to prevent crying out. Soon her mouth was filled with the metallic taste of blood.

Red leaked down her shoulder slowly, her body was crying for her to stop, and Maka finally listened.

She set the razor down and looked in the mirror.

A tear rolled down her pale cheek

"I'm happy" she spoke softly

Her voice cracked and she began to cry

"Why cant it stay?" she whispered with pain

Maka grabbed a damp towel and dabbed up the red, once the bleeding stopped she bandaged herself.

With each passing minute her temporary happiness began to fade.

She set the razor back in it's hiding place under the earrings and stored the box away, never to be found.

She slipped the rough shirt over the black tank and redid her tie with a heavy heart.

She applied heavy makeup all over her face, her mask.

She brushed out her tangled hair and put it in even pigtails.

"MAKA?" Soul called "TIME FOR SCHOOL"

"Coming!" Maka called in a fake happy voice.

She smiled at her reflection in the mirror, although she was broken on the inside, she could at least act like she was ok.

"Aren't you afraid?" part of her asked

"no" Maka thought back "Everything will be ok"

A tear rolled down her cheek

"I'm fine"