Disclaimer: Burn Notice doesn't belong to me. If it did we wouldn't all be crying into our keyboards right now.
Big thank you to Purdy's Pal for reading through this for me even though we made each other cry. And to DaisyDay for being such a great friend to both of us. I love you both
Also thanks to the wonderful Jedi Skysinger and haunted-eternity who kept up me up to date with emails as we basically kept each other going before the finale. You're two of the nicest people I've ever met.
Spoilers for 5x18. This is what I think happened when Sam found Fiona at the loft
When Sorrow Comes to Stay
Fiona screamed Michael's name long after he had left her alone and handcuffed to the stairs inside the loft. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed out her anger and the complete devastation that was causing her whole body to shake. She knew what she had to do. She knew if she didn't end this whole mess with Anson then Michael wouldn't stop until he was too far down the dark path to ever be the same man again.
Pulling at the handcuffs again she screamed in frustration when they wouldn't budge. He had done this on purpose, put her so far away from her bag and her phone so that she wouldn't be able to free herself.
Closing her eyes, the welling tears that hadn't been shed spilled down over her cheeks and she made no move to brush them away. He was going to protect her at all costs and even though his actions told her how much he loved her she still couldn't let him do this…not even for her.
Her eyes drifted over towards the unmade bed, a stark reminder of the night they had shared. Their last night. She had always known the end was approaching, even when this whole mess with Anson began. He had started off a chain of events that just grew much more dangerous as each day passed.
She had spent the last few weeks making love to Michael as if it was their last time and last night was no exception. He had been so accommodating and so concerned but he'd let her take control. Her eyes watered again as she gazed over at the rumpled covers remembering every detail that she had memorised for the lonely nights ahead without him. Closing her eyes, the images appeared in her mind bursting through her thoughts to bring another wave of helpless tears along with them…
Her voice caught in her throat and she suddenly felt a well of sorrow flood her eyes. She couldn't ask him to give up something he loved for her, even though she knew he would do it without hesitation.
A single tear slipped from her eyes to roll down her face as she moved closer to press a soft kiss onto his lips. She held her mouth against his, kissing him with near desperation until she felt his mouth open beneath hers. Using her strength she pushed him backwards until he shifted onto his back, taking her with him.
She sank down against him, tearing her lips from his to trail heated kisses down his throat. Her mind screamed at her to say the words she so desperately wanted to say, but she drowned them out with kisses. She felt Michael's flaccid arms come alive when he slid his hands over her torso, all the way up her spine unto her reached her head. Threading his fingers through her hair he pulled her head back up to capture her mouth in a searing kiss that literally took her breath away.
Tears spilled over onto her cheeks as they kissed, smothering the sob that somehow found a way to escape from her lips
Michael groaned into her mouth when she increased the pressure of her lips, her kisses becoming more demanding in her bid to show him how much she needed this. Her body shivered slightly when his hands roamed her back, and groaned with desire as his fingers snaked across her skin. With skilful touches he set her on fire only to soothe the flames with his lips. The relief was short lived when she responded to him in every way, her hands partaking a journey of their own. When she raked her fingernails across his skin to elicit a soft whimper from his throat, he had no doubts that she knew exactly what she was doing to him.
When her lips left his to begin a tender trek down his throat, he used her distraction to gain the advantage and hooked her legs to lift her above him so that she was straddling his thighs. Pulling away from his lips, she found herself drawn in to his gaze and felt the burning love he held for her in every caress he bestowed upon her. Their eyes locked and so many words that had remained unsaid were finally spoken in silent communications. She had loved this man for an eternity and now she finally understood that he had loved her all along.
Unable to fight the pull of his lips any longer she sank down into his body and sealed them together in a kiss that poured out every ounce of passion. His hands left her shoulders to tangle in her hair as he pulled her in closer to their kiss, his burning need to be with her fuelling the desire that flared between them.
She clung to him desperately as she tried not to think if the new day would be the one to rip them apart. Lifting her hands to his face, she pulled his head up so that she could look into his eyes and confirm for herself that he felt their connection just as much as she did. When she met his eyes she found herself biting back her own flood of emotion when she caught sight of his tear filled eyes. He felt it too and if the worst happened tomorrow she knew that this moment was something that would live with her forever.
The loft door suddenly opened, pulling her out of her thoughts. She heard Sam's gasp when she turned to face him. She knew he had never seen her like this, so utterly broken. Fresh tears spilled down her face when she saw the shock lighting in his eyes.
"You have to get me out of here Sam," she told him through a voice that didn't sound like her own.
"Fi…you know I can't do that…I—"
"I can't let him do it," she sobbed. "Please Sam, let me end this…"
Sam turned away from her and tried to control his own tremulous emotions. This woman had become so important to all of them and for once in his life he didn't have any idea what to do.
Her sobs sent worry through his body. He had never seen her cry, not once in all the time he had known her. Even when Michael was led away from them time and time again she had remained strong throughout…until now…
"Sam," she spoke his name again, the pain in her voice causing him to turn around and face her.
"I can't Fi," he told her brokenly. "I can't do that to Mike…"
"You have to…you have to be here for him after I'm gone," tears cascaded down her cheeks when she saw her friend falter slightly. "Sam if I don't do this then he's going to do something that goes against everything he believes in…and I love him too much to let him do that…"
Sam swallowed back the lump in his throat when her words hit him like a thunderbolt. He had always known how they felt about each other but this was the first time he had heard either one of them utter the words.
"What about you Fi?" he asked her, his voice unable to mask the sorrow he was feeling right now. "What is losing you going to do to Mike?"
"I don't care what happens to me," she hissed angrily. "He shouldn't have to pay for my mistake—"
"It wasn't your fault Fi," he groaned in frustration and lifted his palms to his eyes to wipe the dampness away. God help him, but he knew she was right. Mike wasn't thinking straight. His morals were blurred with his need to protect her and he was travelling down a very dark road.
"I have to do this, don't you see that?" she sniffed back the tears and stood up to her full height, determination taking the place of sorrow. "Please Sam, if you ever thought of me as your friend then you would let me out of these cuffs right now."
Sam's eyes met hers and for the first time he understood just why his friend had fallen for this passionate, fiery woman. She loved the people around her fiercely and when she implored him to understand her reasoning there was nothing he could do but agree. Nodding slowly he swallowed hard before he looked around for the key to the handcuffs.
"Just bring me my bag," she breathed, her voice catching on a sob as she pointed across to the table. "I can get myself out of these."
Sam's legs felt heavier with every step he took as he carried her bag towards her. He didn't know how he was going to explain this to Michael without breaking down and giving himself away. He wouldn't blame him if he never forgave him, after all he would never forgive himself.
He watched silently as Fiona released herself from the cuffs with expert quickness and before he could react she had shoved him backwards against the stairs and snapped the cuffs around his wrist.
"Fi?" he hissed as he yanked at the metal band confining his movements. "Wha—"
"Michael can't know you helped me," she told him quickly, her voice shaking as she spoke. "He'll need you to be here for him."
His voice broke off when she grabbed a bottle from the rack and came towards him, determination in every step.
"Close your eyes," she told him as she raised the bottle above her head. When he looked at her in confusion she shook her head in frustration. "SAM!"
Clamping his eyes closed he waited for the impact but when it didn't come right away he opened one eye to see what was taking her so long. He moved when he saw how close she was to his face and his other eye sprung open.
"What are you doing?"
Fiona shook her head and wiped the beginnings of another tear away from her face before she leaned forward to kiss his cheek. Stepping back just as quickly she swallowed the lump in her throat and held the bottle in the air and waited for him to nod his head and close his eyes.
Bringing the bottle down hard she smashed it over his head and gulped back the sob that escaped when she saw a slow trickle of blood begin to make a track over his temple.
"I'm so sorry," she told him in a broken whisper. Moving towards the kitchen she grabbed a clean cloth and a chair on her way back towards him. She waited until he took the cloth from her hand before she moved back towards her dresser to pull something out of the top drawer.
"Fi, you know it's not too late to—"
"I have to do this," she told him, cutting through his words before he could try and talk her out of it. She looked over the letter she had written one more time before she folded it closed and reached across to grab her bag.
"Tell him I tricked you," she told him as she tried to keep her voice even as she spoke. "Tell him I hit you and left you here." Handing him the letter she let it linger in her fingers for a moment longer before she let him take it from her.
"For what it's worth Fi, I wish things were different…"
"Me too, Sam," she whispered as she took a step towards the door before turning around to take one last look around the loft before her eyes settled on him. "Look after him for me?"
Sam just nodded silently, knowing that if he spoke then she would hear his voice break. There was no going back now and when she closed the door for the final time, he felt his walls break as tears tumbled down his cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, Mike," he whispered as leaned his head back against the metal stairs. "I'm so sorry…"