A/N: I have wanted to write a Young Justice fanfic for some time now but I was worried that I would butcher the characters. The solution: an AU. This way if anyone's out of character its an AU and if anyone's in character, all the more credit for me. Anyway, this chapter was inspired by way too much time on my hands. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Do I own Young Justice? Ha, no.
Day 0: Holy Fucking
"Holy fucking mother of god."
Artemis was trying to mind her own business. She really was, but when someone yelled 'holy fucking mother of god' in the middle of the mall she just couldn't resist turning around. To her great surprise she found the object of attention was herself and the 'holy fucking mother of god(er)' was a scrawny kid wearing sunglasses with his finger pointing directly towards her. She glanced to either side of the hallway, holding on to some fragile hope that this kid wasn't interested in her but there was no one else in the mall and the kid was already walking towards her.
His finger was still outstretched so when he reached her he ended up almost poking her eye out.
"Watch it kid," she snarled, backing away from him in order to make her get away. Unfortunately for her this kid was fast and strong.
He grabbed her hand in a death grip and held her in place while he stared at her like she was a particularly fascinating lawn ornament.
"You even sound like her."
"Listen kid, get off me or I'm gonna-"
"This is whelming, so totally whelming. You. Are. HER."
Artemis tensed, "How'd you know my name kid?"
"Oh my god, your name is Artemis, too? That's it. You're the one. You're coming with me."
"What the hell? I'm not going with anyone! Would you get away-"
Before she could protest there was another hand on her shoulder and Artemis went in to self-defense mode. Her fist came down on the kids hand, forcing his fingers from her wrist and she spun away from the hand on her shoulder, holding her hands up in front of herself as a shield. When she was finally calmed down she realized that now not only the boy with the sunglasses was staring at her but also a boy with fluffy red hair eating an ice cream cone. The red-haired kid, whose hand was presumably the one that had been on her shoulder, proceeded to drop his ice cream on to the floor.
"Oh, shit," he said, not really sounding that disappointed as he pulled a granola bar from his coat pocket, "Dude, she's perfect!"
"That's what I said!"
Artemis wasn't really in the mood to be fighting with these geeks about who was perfect or who looked like who so she spun on her heel and started walking away from the pair, swiftly. Only a second later a hand was on her shoulder, again, and she flinched, pulling away from the red-haired kids grasp. Geez, these kids were fast.
"What do you want?" she shouted as she spun on him, "What the hell is your problem. I'm just trying to mind my own-"
"God, beautiful, calm down," the red-haired boy said smoothly as he swallowed the last bite of his granola bar, "Would you just listen for a sec?"
"No, I will not listen, and don't call be beautiful, and leave me alone!" she said, pulling out of the kids grasp. Before she could get very far, however, the kid had grabbed both of her shoulders and pulled her backwards, almost off her feet.
God, she wished she had some kind of weapon. Something long and pointy that she could shove right up this kids-
"Are you listening?" the sunglasses kid asked and she shook her head, crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the ground impatiently. "Well I said that I'm willing to pay you a lot if you help us out with this. Like a lot, a lot."
"Help you out with what?" Artemis asked warily, scrutinizing the kid with her eyes. He was scrawny and shorter than her, probably younger too. His hair was very black and straight and came out of his head in all sorts of weird angles as if he were a cartoon character. The most dominant thing about him was the sunglasses, sitting a top his nose, obscuring his eyes. She wondered if he was a celebrity or something.
Then there was the red haired kid who had produced a Snickers bar out of nowhere and was chewing on it enthusiastically. She wondered how he was so freaking skinny when all she had seen him do in the past ten minutes she had known him was eat. Then there was his hair. It was so red that it looked as if his head were on fire and was the same exact color as his freckles which protruded from his pale skin as if he had drawn them on with a Sharpie. She found her eyes making their way up his face all the way to his eyes which were as green as grass. Probably the prettiest green she had ever seen.
"Earth to Artemis," the sunglasses kid waved his hand in front of her face again, "Geez, what do we have to do to get your attention? Dance around naked? Anyway, as I was saying. We would like you to cosplay with our cosplay group next Saturday at the convention center across town. We'd pay you and provide the costume. You just have to show up."
"Cosplay?" she asked in confusion.
"Like Halloween," the red-haired kid said between bites, "But its only a bunch of geeks in a convention center and there's no candy."
"There's pocky," sunglasses kid supplemented and the red-haired kid brightened.
"Ah, pocky," he said with a happy smile, "Almost forgot about the pocky."
"How much would you pay me?" she interrupted them, tapping her foot against the ground.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
The kid handed her a slip of paper and it ceased her tapping. She'd never seen so many zeroes in her life.
"All this? Just to dress up as some Greek goddess?"
"Not a goddess," sunglasses boy corrected, "Artemis, the archer. She's a superhero in the comic books. You see, my cosplay group has been looking for people to play the parts of the Young Justice superhero team, people that actually resemble the characters."
"There's a whole group of people dedicated to this?" Artemis said incredulously, "And how many are in your group?"
Sunglasses boy looked over at the red-haired kid and shrugged, "Just the two of us."
"I see," she said with a mocking smile, "Well count me in. Anything that pays this well is well worth my time. See you next Saturday."
"Hold on, just a couple more things," the sunglasses kid insisted, "First of all the convention isn't just Saturday, its three days long. Friday through Sunday. You'll meet us all three days at 8 AM right outside the center and you'll stay with us all day."
"Fine," she said. For that much money they could tie her up, hang her over a pit of boiling lava and tell her to sing the Jingle Bell Rock and she'd still do it.
"Yeah," the kid said, "My name's Richard, but you can call me Dick. Its nice to meet you."
"Artemis," she said, shaking Dick's hand, "And you?"
The red-haired kid smiled and extended his hand enthusiastically, as if she were offering him another candy bar, "You can just call me Kid Flash. I'm trying to protect my secret identity you see."
She sighed and rolled her eyes, "Right," she said, shaking his hand. She just had to put up with this for three days and as she shook the kids hand she tried to imagine all of those zeroes floating across her vision, obscuring all of this absurdity and making it all worth it.
Um, Please review.