I should be over this, the pain that has been in my heart. But I'm not. I don't know if I ever will be. But Portia will be here today, but she doesn't know. I think she's bringing Alba and Curzon. But maybe not, and I'd be fine with it. I've been in my bedroom for an extra 3 hours. I should have been down by 6 to help with the bakery, but I'm not doing that today. Today, how I will smile and laugh with Katniss like we were in love. But, as I found out, it was all an act to survive.

I stare at the painting I was working on, trying to see what's missing. It's Katniss, staring down at random space. I paint in a hand, my hand, extended to her. It's pale and seeming to go without blood. In her eyes, I put a small reflection of myself, but I'm not myself. It's that day. The day after she told me it was all fake. I was so shocked and hurt I didn't pay close attention to her that day. The painting has her in a thin, knee length forest green dress, and her hair is pulled back into her normal braid.

I sigh setting down the paint brush, I'd have to show Portia when she came sense she was helping me set up my car. I head down stairs and just as I thought, the oven timer goes off. I open the oven door and the rushed smell of bread runs into my face. I pull it out dropping it onto the stove, and carefully remove the bread from there pans. I put them on a plate so they can cool a little. I put a little cheese on one loaf which I will run to Aloe.

I head out, holding the loaves against my chest. I walk down the road, about 5 steps outside Victor's Village, to get to Aloe and Baggett's home. I knock on the door, and walk in. Aloe cleans the dishes in a pot of water. She smiles as I come in.

"Thought you might some bread for breakfast. It has cheese on it." I tell her and she wipes her hands on her shirt coming over and cutting the bread. She offers me a piece, but I decline with a smile, telling her about the second loaf.

"Haymitch never eats, but I'll make him eat at least a slice of it." She giggles. I turn having to run out, which I say sorry for. She waves it off and kiss's cheek before I head out. The snow, which I notice has been snowing a while, flutters down catching in my hair. I walk over to Haymitch's home which smells like something died in there.

"…you should have asked Peeta." Katniss's voice grumbled.

"Asked me what?" I say, my voice instantly going cold. If the reasons were different I would walk over to her, wrapping my arm around her waist. But it's not. My heart, which is already ripped in half, pulls at its stitches. I walk over, my leg dragging a little sense I didn't hook it correctly when I got up, and lay the bread on the table. I extend my hand to Haymitch.

"Asked you to wake me up without giving me pneumonia." He says, handing me his knife. Haymitch pulls off his shirt, which is disgusting, and reveals an equally soiled under shirt. I smile a little, and grab one of the many bottles of white liquor from the table, dousing the knife in it. I dry the knife on my shirt carefully, and cut the bread. I hand Haymitch the thick heal, and I look at Katniss for the first time.

"Would you like a piece?" I ask her, more out of courtesy sense I'm still pissed at her.

"No, I ate at the Hob. But thank you." She sounds like she's speaking to someone from the Capitol, formal and dull. Like every time she's spoken to me. And I reply the same way I have been speaking to her.

"You're welcome." I answer stiffly. Haymitch tosses his shirt into the mess.

"Brrr. You two have a lot of warming up to do before show time." He says, and I know when the cameras appear I will be able to act as I really want to, and Katniss will have to suck it up and act.

"Take a bath Haymitch." She says and then jumps out the window. I plop down into the chair across from Haymitch.

"Boy, you're not helping yourself. You need to say sorry. I know it's her…our fault." Haymitch tells me taking a swig of the liquor. I nod and turn, a few slices of bread in my hand, and run back to my house. When I walk in I hear the TV on, and I wonder if I forgot to turn it off. But when I walk in I see a girl with platinum blonde hair sprawled on the couch, a little boy sitting on the floor playing with some old toys that were on a shelf. I cock my head a little but then see Portia watching them with loving eyes.

"So this is what the devils brood looks like." I say leaning on the door frame. Portia looks up and smiles, bolting up, jumping over Curzon, and running into me. She hugs me tightly and I hug her back.

"I've missed you, Peeta. And no not the devils brood, more Hell it's self's." She says brightly. Alba stands, stretching and Curzon got up and ran over.

"You're Peeta, right?" He asks brightly. I smile back nodding.

"Alba, nice to meet you. And that's Curzon." Alba says, extending her hand. I shake it and bow slightly. She smiles with a simple giggle. We sit there and talk for an hour or so. About the Games, about school, about the district, and about the Capitol. When it comes time for me to get ready, a man with orange hair walks in.

"Daddy, do we have to go?" Alba asks and he chuckles nodding. Alba waves sadly and Curzon replaces the stuff he'd been playing with onto the shelves. They run out, waving calling out 'good-bye' and 'I love you' as they go. Portia smiles and waves back, sighing when the car pulls out.

"I'm sorry, but they wouldn't let me come without them." She says, and I smile.

"No problem. I liked them, they were sweet." I tell her, and she just laughs.

She pulls me into the bathroom upstairs, instructing me to shower and wash all the grime that is District 12 down the drain. I take off the leg and tell her that there's bread down stairs. She thanks me and heads down. I shower quickly and by the time I'm down, Portia's come back up. She helps me out of the shower, so I don't trip, and then helps me reattach the leg.

She helps me dress, casual clothing and thick boots like I've been wearing sense I hurt my leg. A thin shirt and a thick jacket. We sit down talking about everything under the sun. I show her the painting that's still upstairs and the ones that hang on the walls on the way up.

"It was done this morning, so it's still a little wet." I tell her. She looks at it, examining it critically seeing if it's worthy to go in the car.

"It would work, but people might wonder." She tells me but it's true. They'd see it and think we fought something when wrong.

"I know, but I still wanted to show you. You look happier when you seeing my paintings." I tell her and she smiles at me.

"I love seeing it all in your eyes." She tells me and then walks back down stairs. I adjust the picture slightly, making it so the face in her eyes is bloodied and pale, my hand holding the remains of blood. Portia comes back up, telling me not to get paint on my clothing. I nod and she agrees that it looks better.

We wait for her to get a little bleep on her pager until I could go out. Tentic comes up, late, and starts fixing up my hair. I find it funny that now's the time they trim my hair. Kem comes up, but Gem doesn't and when I ask she just shakes her head. I let them play around with my hair, with my face, but when a blip comes over the pager I'm up with a cane in hand.

We walk out and the snow is thicker. And I stand in the cold waiting. Portia is speaking to a camera man, and Tentic is patting Kem's back lightly. When Portia comes over I ask.

"Gem became ill, and it's the first time Kem and Gem have been apart. She's just sad."

"Oh, tell her I'm sorry?" I ask with a small sense of guilt. SHe nods, and picks up the pager once more, pressing it to her ear. She smiles at me, telling me it's show time.

ok so welcome to The Boy Who Lost All! This is Peeta's POV of the book Catching Fire. If you have just found this, then i have new for you! I have teh first book, completed, called The Boy With The Bread. Link .net/s/7567041/1/The_Boy_With_the_Bread

I hope you guys enjoy this!~Rue Finnick Mellark