Mistletoe Madness

Can't help it. It's Christmas time and I am lacking a bit in holiday cheer so I decided to make some of my own. Pure, random silliness with a plot that is so thin you can see through it. I hope any who read my short holiday indulgence will enjoy despite the lack of anything remotely substantial. And of course, I own nothing. :D

P.S. This is a dialogue only story.

"Wow, would you look at it in here?"

"I'm trying not to dude. Looks like the jolly old fat guy had a little too much holiday cheer and puked Christmas tidings all over the damn place."

"We have been here before you know."

"Yeah, when it was light outside. Now it just looks like the makings of a bad Christmas special. Don't they even care about power usage?"

"What? C'mon man, don't be such a Grinch."

"Bah, humbug."

"That's Scrooge jackass."

"Whatever. What the hell are we looking for again?"

"Mistletoe. Remember? Cursed mistletoe?"

"Oh right, of course, cursed mistletoe, still having a hard time with that one. Pucker up and kiss your ass goodbye. Hey, that should be on a bumper sticker or… a t-shirt or something."

"Uh huh. It's been a few hours, you still feel alright? Need to focus bro."

"Kinda hard when all these Christmas lights are trying to burn out my eyeballs. Not to mention, guh, do you see all the holiday sweaters?"

"Look, all we have to do is grab all the mistletoe since we don't know how many are cursed, take it out back and salt and burn it… easy."

"Easy. Huh, that would be a first. You have noticed that we have walked right into the center of Whoville right? The shit is hanging everywhere. Why is it we can't do this when the place is empty?"

"Because you can't keep your mouth to yourself?"


"Ummm… mistletoe? Mystery woman? Dead mystery woman? Ringing a bell dude?"

"Hey, not my fault man, you know I'm a chick magnet. Plus, she was ultra-hot. Maybe, huh, do you think she'll come back?"

"We don't want her to come back. I'll clear the place out, you just sit right there and don't move. Okay?"


"Attention everyone! Uh, sorry to cut your festivities short but we have reason to believe there may be a gas leak under this establishment. Please proceed in an orderly fashion to the exit. Thank you and sorry for the inconvenience."

"That's what I call a stampede man. So, now what?"

"Get the mistletoe, remember?"


"Dean, sure you're feeling alright? Kinda flaking out on me man. Dean?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just… can't get her out of my head man. Something about her."

"Shit. Okay look, we need to do this fast, you're losing it."

"Just, what if… maybe she's the one. What? What's with the look? C'mon, lighten up, what are the chances I was under the cursed one?"

"That would be 100% dude."

"What? Why?"

"Seriously? You're acting like a love struck teenager... and, how about the fact that everyone else who has kissed her winds up dead?"

"Such a stickler for details Sammy. She wouldn't hurt me. She…"

"What's going on with you man?"

"…she asked me to come with her… why didn't I go? She just wants someone to… man, why didn't I go? She… she needs me!"

"Dean! Snap out of it! You need to help me gather all this shit up! DEAN!"

"You saw her right? I mean, have you ever seen anything as beautiful? I shouldn't have left, I should have stayed with her. I think… she wanted me to stay right? Why didn't I stay?"

"Damn it Dean! You get them from over there alright, I'll get these ones… NOW!"

"Yeah, yeah. Right. Mistletoe. Cursed. Got it."

"Good. Now stay focused alright? Let me know if you feel weird."

"Okay, got them all from this side. How's it going over there man?"

"Uh, Sam?"


"Feeling kinda weird dude. I mean… she's… so… beautiful…"

"Dean? What are you…. Shit. DEAN! GRAB THE MISTLETOE!"

"Right. Yeah. Got it. Here, hurry Sam.. can't... want to go…"

"Hey! BITCH! Yeah, you! You can't have him... and you'll never have anyone else."

"So beautiful…"

"DEAN! Look at me bro! That's right, just look at me okay?"

"I'm… but…"

"Concentrate on me. Sam. Remember? Hunting things? That's what we do right? She's messing with you man, right? Just another fugly we gotta take down. Right?"

"Hmmm… y..yeah, right Sammy."

"Lighter Dean! Now! On the pile!"

"Yeah. Uh, sorry baby, I don't go for the undead types."

"Dean? You okay?"

"Peachy. But come on.. it's…"


"Not fair dude. The only holiday tradition worth anything has now officially been flushed down the damn toilet. A cursed mistletoe? Really?"

"Yeah, I know, it sucks. But, look on the bright side, at least you're still breathing. And Dean?"


"Merry Christmas."

"Huh. Ah hell, why not? Merry fricken Christmas to you Sam."