„You've got to go to sleep… It's the third night since we left and you didn't do so much as close your eyes. You're tired."
Eragon lowered his head. He knew she was right. He stood at the small bull's-eye of his cabin on the Talítha and stared out into the darkness. The reflections of the moonlight on the waters were very beautiful. He couldn't make himself enjoy the sight.
Three nights without sleep. Not that much for an elf, but the exertions of travelling, the unused movement of the ship and the emotional ups and downs had exhausted him far beyond his limit. He was afraid his legs would give in every moment, his eye lids felt very heavy. He knew he should try to lay down, but he also knew that if he did, he wouldn't be able to find any peace. It had been this way for the last three nights.
As much as he tried to look straight ahead to the task that indeed attracted him and as much as he reveled in the joy of the saved Eldunarí and Dragon eggs, he couldn't defy the deep sadness within him. His dissatisfaction grew with every mile that made the distance between them even vaster. His heart clenched at the thought.
"I know, Saphira, I know."
He only made things harder for him allowing thoughts like this.
But not thinking about her was impossible. More than ever she dominated his thoughts, pushed herself into the foreground of his mind, even when he was thinking about something entirely different.
He looked up. A cloud shoved itself in front of the moon. He knew the feeling.
"But how can I help it? A curtain lies on the world. Everything I see and feel is clouded by a shadow that leaves nothing left for me. Everything is grey and dump. The world's got a hole and I am just half…"
A tear rolled down his cheek. He felt Saphira's sadness and pity, even though she tried to suppress it.
"It will pass by… Eragon, you should try…"
"To forget her?", he interrupted her, a tad sharper as he intended to, "Forgive me."
He felt a curious feeling coming from their shared link. It was the equal of an amused wink of her eye. He was already forgiven.
"No. Not to forget. None of us can do that. But we can change our point of view. Don't cry because it's over, be happy because you have such a good friend and, more than anything else, because you know she is happy where she is. She is not alone anymore. Fírnen will watch over her."
"Nobody deserves happiness as much as she does."
"I know, little one. She will be fine. And you will be fine, too."
Eragon breathed in deeply. Love grew inside his heart. It couldn't completely quell the despair of his loss, but it somewhat soothed the sharp pain deep inside his chest. He could breathe a bit easier again.
"I love you, Saphira. As long as you are still by my side, I will always go on."
"I love you too, my little one. And now lay down. Again dawn is fast approaching and the elves will insist to sail on early."
He agreed with her and could hardly fight back the weariness anymore. Shuffling he went to his modest bed and laid down his heavy limbs. He longed for a deep, refreshing sleep. He wished he could but forget the pain for a few hours.
And, even though his thoughts and feelings continued to circulate around just one topic, he felt himself fall slowly into his waking dreams. Sleep came to him, yet his dreams were a mess of feelings and pictures he could neither place nor understand. He seemed to know the dim figures and places, but his sight was clouded. He found little peace in his sleep.
For the world's got a hole and he was only half.
I hope you liked it this far. It's by far not the first story I wrote, but it's the first one I publish. I will try to write this as fluently as I can, but don't be let down if I may take some time to upload a new chapter. Be reassured I know how it feels to wait for the author of a story you like to update… and wait… and wait… ;) I know exactly where this story will lead to and where it shall end, so be confident, I WILL write it to its hopefully better ending.
Constructive criticism, give it to me! But be nice, guys ;)