A.N: Brandon Novak is gonna be out of jail soon, so in honor of that, I decided to post this story I've been working on for about a year now. I started in January. I hope you like it.
Chapter One: Forever and Fucking Always
I hold onto the night,
you looked me in the eye
and told me you loved me...
were you just kidding?
-taylor swift, forever & always
I sighed in frustration, tears building in my eyes, and chucked another empty can of beer into the pile on the floor. I couldn't believe it.
Chad cheated on me.
The night had consisted of various "he didn't deserve you"s and "you're better off"s and "he's total scum"s and "that chick was a total skank"s.
As much as they were trying to help me, they were basically saying that I wasted my time, have bad taste, and was less preferable to Chad, whom I dated for 2 years and was practically engaged to, to a skank.
Way to make me feel better.
I mean, I lost my fucking virginity to him.
Jenn sat beside me, drinking just as much as me. Consoling me, and comforting me. Telling me it would all be better in the morning. She was the only one who really seemed to get it.
"You know what, Melody? You're like the prettiest girl alive. You should be glad you're not Chad's type. I mean, seriously." She said, being serious, but with a giggle, chucking another beer can.
I sighed deeply, and eventually agreed. "I guess you're right Jenn... I mean... There's plenty of other guys, right?"
"Exactly! You simply do not need to be upset! Well, I mean, its natural to be upset and hate him forever, I would too. Its only the permanent end of the world temporarily. It'll pass."
I chuckled to myself. "Only permanent, temporarily. That'd be a killer song lyric! Can I use it?"
"Duh!" She said.
We giggled like losers, but the bliss only lasted for a moment. Much to my demise, Bam called for Jenn. She made a face, and I told her I was okay. That she could leave me. Though I didn't mention the fact I'd be dead inside.
"Well, just remember, I'm here for you. I promise." She rubbed my knee and gave my cheek a quick kiss. She headed downstairs.
As much as Jenn may have made me feel better, I was still devastated. My dresser still held some of Chad's shirts and my phone still contained some pictures of him. Sadly, however, I did not miss him yet. All I felt was contempt towards him. The two words that floated in my head were 'Never' and 'Again'. The words that always were in my head were 'Forever' and 'Always'. Not anymore. Not any-fucking-more.
I wrote down the song lyric Jenn had inspired in my notebook and set it on my night table again. I figured Bam would come up with something to try and cheer me up tomorrow, and I was already dreading it. I started to delete pictures on my phone, except a couple with other people in it that I didn't want to get rid of. I rubbed my eyes, starting to get tired, and decided to try and sleep. When that failed, just getting sick of the tossing and turning and crying, I crept downstairs to the pirate bar to get some food, running into Ape and Phil doing laundry.
"Hi Melody!" Ape greeted me.
I waved and gave her a half assed smile in return, and she frowned.
"Not feeling so hot, huh?" She asked, a sympathetic twinkle in her eyes and voice.
I didn't want to be pitied, I wanted the subject left alone. I made that clear earlier when I threw Chad out. The people in this household refused to listen to me. It was upsetting.
"Not really no. Just trying to get past it, you know?" I said, my face twisting slightly, tears forming again.
"I understand." She smiled, and pretended to zipper up her lips and throw away the key.
I chuckled lightly and thanked her, and dug through the cupboards for any trace of food I wanted. I settled for some chewy chips ahoy cookies, and sat at on the couch, nonchalantly looking through a magazine. I finished off the cookies and threw the package away, and I walked up the stairs, my feet feeling heavy. I was so tired. I wasn't sleepy though, and I couldn't sleep. I was so stressed. I ignored Raab, who smiled sympathetically at me and said "Hi", and I stomped up the stairs, extremely irritated at the soft groans I had heard from Bam and Jenn's room. Bam had seriously taken Jenn away so he could fuck her when I needed her for someone to talk to?
Ugh. Fuckin' men.
I kept thinking of other things I could've said to Chad while I kicked his sorry ass out when I flopped on my bed once again. I rolled over on my stomach and kept trying to push those thoughts out, and just be happy that he was gone and knew how he hurt me. Be happy that he knew I hated him, that I loathed his very existence.
But, of course, I couldn't.
My mind drifted into everything Chad. The look on his face earlier tonight... How he tried to convince me that he still loved me more than the stars, or how he was drunk and not thinking. I knew he was lying. He just didn't want to look bad. Don't get me wrong, I think he did love me, but he just got tired of me.
Tired of me?
That shit stung. It stung like a bitch.
Questions filled my mind as well. What did I do wrong? Was I a bitch? Did I say something? Was I really that repelling? Why didn't he just break up with me first? How could he?
I groaned at myself, angry that I wouldn't stop thinking. I just felt like slamming my head on the concrete in the driveway until I bled to death.
After an hour of that, I had had enough of myself. I took some NyQuil, and after 10 minutes it kicked in, and finally let me have some peace, deep in my drug induced sleep.
This story is mad depressing. It's a Novak story though, so what did you expect?