A/N: I apologize for the long wait! This chapter really gets into Edward and Bella's mindset and how they feel about each other and their relationship. Remember it's always the darkest before dawn.
Bella felt the early morning rays filter in her room through the blinds, she slowly opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, she had a smile on her face just thinking about what happened last night. It was the best night of her entire life, she turned around to reach out for Edward, but she saw that he was gone. There was a note lying on his pillow, she furrowed her brow and then reached out for the note, she sat up slowly and began to read it.
Something really important came up for work and I had to go to Europe. I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye to you, you looked so peaceful and I didn't want to wake you up. Thank you for last night, I'll never forget it. Stay safe Bella, I'll return soon.
She sat back in a stunned silence, his note sounded so flippant and standoffish to her, why did he just disappear like that? It's not like GQ could have had such a dire emergency that required Edward to just leave on Thanksgiving. She gathered the top part of duvet closer to her body and held onto herself tightly as she let the note fall down onto the floor. She expected him to be there in the morning, so she could be sure of what happened, but he was gone and it made her feel cheap and worthless. She took a deep breath and then exhaled, everything with Edward had moved so fast and now she realized that she wasn't being smart about her relationship with him, she had fallen so fast for him that it didn't even occur to her that maybe he wasn't as sincere as she hoped he was.
She just wanted to feel loved - to feel wanted, just like everyone else. She blinked back some tears. Bella felt like something was deeply wrong, she was a very insightful person that could read things well - for the most part. She had been convincing herself that everything was okay, but it didn't feel okay right now. It was far from okay, but she was done relying on everyone in her life to make her happy, she just wanted to rely on herself because at least that way she wouldn't be disappointed.
Bella acted like she was okay and had a nice, quiet Thanksgiving with her father. She tried her best not to worry about Edward and the fact that he had just left after he took her virginity, it amazed her how immature he could be sometimes. She decided to leave to New York the next morning, she was wearing black jeans and a purple sweater and she had bags under her pretty brown eyes because she didn't get much sleep ever since Edward left. She carried her bag out to her father's truck and then turned to look at him.
"Bells, you can stay longer," her father said, it was his way of saying that he had missed her.
"I know dad, but there's a lot of things I need to do in New York. It's
about time I learned how to take care of myself."
Her father looked at her carefully and then cleared his throat.
"You've always been independent, you never needed anyone."
Bella bit her lip and then looked away from her father, that was true, but now she needed Edward and it was a horrible feeling - to care about someone that much, to feel that way. It was a dangerous feeling, one she wasn't use to.
"Thanks dad, I think I just needed to remember that." She said honestly.
Charlie smiled at her and then walked over to her and helped her put her bag into the truck. There conversation was done, but the two of them knew what the other meant without saying too much. Bella realized that she was letting Edward take care of her the way her dad had and it was unacceptable to her, things were going to change when she got back to the city - she knew she would never be the same again.
Edward had decided to just leave early and not say goodbye to anyone, he felt so guilty that he couldn't even look at Bella. He left her a note explaining that there was a work emergency and that he had to leave to Europe. He was too selfish to break up with her - he couldn't imagine doing that after everything that had happened with the two of them, but he needed to put some distance between them until he could get ahold of himself and figure everything out.
He walked into the hotel room and switched the light on, everything was perfect and expensive looking, and just the way he liked it. He pulled at his tie and then sat down on the bed that was covered in a black colored duvet set. The quietness was something he liked and appreciated before he met Bella, but now all he could think about was how perfect it would be if she was here right now. He thought it was going to be easy, that he could use her to get what he wanted, but it didn't work out that way. He didn't expect to fall in love with her laugh, with her beautiful, brown eyes and kind heart. Nobody had ever affected him the way she did, nobody made him want to be a better person and nobody ever believed in him the way she did.
"She's better off without me, but how can I walk away when I love her?"
He thought miserably to himself. His phone started to beep, he quickly pulled it out of his pocket and saw that Bella was calling him, he reluctantly answered it.
"You're an idiot." She said.
She took a deep breath and then exhaled.
"Work emergency? You work at GQ not the hospital Edward, how stupid do you think I am?"
"I don't think you're stupid. There is some work stuff for me to do here Bella, this isn't about us, it's about work," he said trying to sound
"Right…. work, have fun with that. It's just…. Edward, I thought you were going to be here when I woke up..." she said, sounding vulnerable.
He inhaled sharply when he heard what she said because this was exactly the reason why he left, she expected the best of him, and she couldn't even think for a second that he could ever use her like that.
"I had to leave. Bella can we talk about this some other time? It's late here and I'm tired. Maybe you expect too much from me, I'm not your Prince Charming, Bella." He said flatly.
There was silence on the other end for awhile, he was starting to think that she hung up on him.
"I never wanted Prince Charming because if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't have wasted my time on you. Have fun in Europe or wherever you are. Goodbye Edward." She said firmly and then hung up.
He threw his phone to the other end of the bed and then laid back on it and stared at the ceiling. Only he had the ability to turn lemonade into lemons.
Bella hated the fact that she was living with Edward because everything reminded her of him and his pretentiousness. She wanted to move out because she wanted to be strong and independent and living with him was the opposite of that. She couldn't believe that he could be so cold to her, but what did she expect from him?
Their love wasn't a fairytale with a fairy god mother it was more like a horror story sometimes and that was when she realized she was in love with a beast, but even though she was so mad at him, she knew that the love she felt for him was consuming, inconvenient and it happened at the wrong time, but how could she lie to her heart? She just didn't want to feel anymore, she wanted to be numb.
She sighed and kicked off the purple blanket that was on her, she ran out of her room and then down the stairs and into the kitchen. She walked to his liquor cabinet and opened it up, she pulled out the bottle of Grey Goose Vodka and a glass, she poured some into it and began to drink from it, the taste was so strong and it burned her throat, but she knew it would help her forget, she just wanted to forget how much this hurt and how much it sucked that she actually gave her heart away to someone like an idiot.
Bella felt tipsy as she buttoned up her coat, she was going to see Jacob because he was the only friend she knew who would be there for her right now. She walked down the stairs and saw Arianna standing at the foot of the steps with a sad look in her eyes.
"Miss Bella, where are you going?" She asked.
"Um I'm going to see my friend." She explained.
"Where is Mr. Edward?"
"He's busy working in Europe, or that's what he said, but you know him he l-l-l-loves torturing me." She said, slurring her words.
"Miss Bella, you need to go back to your room. You drunk and you must know Mr. Edward loves you - he never looks at any girl the way he look at you. You are the one who is going to save him, why can't you see that?" She asked.
Bella arched an eyebrow at the maid who spoke in broken English and blinked back tears because she wanted that to be true. She really did.
"I wish that was true Arianna and I thought it was, but Edward is so complicated and I just can't deal with this right now. I really can't, tell me this later. " She said sadly.
She pushed past Arianna and quickly walked to the front door, she just had to get out of Edward's place, so she could breathe. She walked quickly down the sidewalk and made her way to the nearest subway station. 15 minutes later she found herself walking through the hallway of Jacob's dorm room, she walked towards it and knocked on the door loudly.
"Jake, it's me!" She called out, a bit too loudly.
Jacob walked to the door, he looked sleepy and he was wearing a grey hoodie paired with blue jeans. He pulled the door open and he looked at Bella who seemed really hyper.
"Wow Bells, what are you doing here?"
"I can't be there okay? I just can't and I might be drunk, oops!" She said and then started giggling.
Jacob was concerned because he had never seen her like this before, Bella pushed past him and walked into the dorm room, she took her coat off and threw it onto the floor.
"Bella, what happened?"
"Edward is an ass! That's what happened and I drank vodka and now here I am," she said sounding silly and childish.
"Dammit Bella, what did he do now? Just stay here and you'll be fine." He said.
"He just left to Europe and it sucks. Don't say that, don't sound like him." She said softly as she walked to the bed and sat down.
"I'm sorry Bella, maybe it's for the best. Yeah no, you're not getting that from me drunk girl. I should film this and put it on YouTube, it would be funny." He said jokingly.
Bella burst out laughing because that was so far away from anything Edward would say, but it just made her miss him. She lay down on the bed and turned to her side to look at Jacob.
"You're so mean Jacob, I would kill you. Please come sleep here with me, I don't want to sleep alone tonight." She said and then pouted.
Jacob raised an eyebrow at her; he was just glad she was here with him and not some other guy that could take advantage of the way she was acting. He walked over to the bed and lay down next to her.
"You won't be alone with me here. It's a good thing Edward is in Europe, or I'd be dead." He commented.
Bella bit her lip, Edward; her Edward who she loved so much was so far
away from her. She hated it and she hated feeling so out of control. He left and it seemed like he took her sanity away with him.
That's the thing about leaving, you never know who might be ready to take what's yours, let's hope Edward realizes that once you have a good thing you fight for it, or you lose it - forever.