Of Septum's and Persuasion

By Tripptych / a m b a, y e a h ?

Disclaimer: I don't own shit.


This is formerly a chapter from the story called 'Tattoo Profession'. I have decided to discontinue it as a story and therefore broken it up and extended the chapters into 'one shots', if there's any sort of issues or misunderstandings please feel free to let me know.


Sasuke's point of view.

Tremors of fear shot up my spine to curl into a ball in my chest like a continually coiling bind, the closer we got to Inktense© the more the ball tightened. I could practically feel the air suffocating, choking and dying in my throat as I yelled and protested violently; booting and clawing the shit out Kiba, Naruto and the ever ecstatic Deidara who each pulled on my limbs.

"Come on! Don't be such a fucking pansy!" Kiba huffed irritated, pulling on my left arm with great force.

"Yeah you bastard, you lost now face the consequences! Take it like a man, dattebayo!" Naruto growled, his face turning a little red from his exertive pulling of my right arm, his scarred cheeks stretching into a exerted teeth clenching tug.

I pulled and shoved with everything I had trying to pull myself back only to barge harshly into Deidara who was pushing against my back like a brick shit house, shoving me forward towards Itachi's tattoo shop the trio of assholes made quite the scene.

"Jesus, you are so fucking difficult! Un!" He growled pushing with fervour to avail, his face an equal look of exertion.

"Fuck you guys!" I groused angrily, digging my vans clad feet into the ground to halt the forceful pushing.

My shoes emitted a high pitched, squeaky screech in protest against the polished floors; my in vain attempts to pull away and run were proving to be useless against the three males.

I hated them with everything in me at this moment, how dare they coerce me into this!

"No fuck you, it was a fucking rigged bet; I'm not fucking doing it!" I cursed and screamed turning many heads in attention.

I was hoping the mall security would come running, hell I could be getting kidnapped and or raped for all they knew!

God I could just hear the words of disgust as we passed a couple of old ladies staring us 'hooligans' down for disrupting the peace. Serves them right, taking up the bench space just like they do down at the park when they're feeding them quacking monsters.

I hate fucking ducks.

"Sasuke you goddamn girl, you're being bloody stupid! People are staring, you don't want them thinking your some sort of Uchiha chicken do you!" Naruto grunted, grabbing my arm with bruising force his tanned finger leaving almost permanent indents in my arm.

"Fuck you!" I yelled as Deidara left his position to shove open the door to Inktense with exaggerated force, causing the glass doors to swing dangerously on their hinges, I cried out angrily putting a foot on either side of the glass door to stop from entering.

God if Itachi could see this now, he would have my guts for garters for 'damaging' his expensive doors.

An irritated sigh came from Deidara as he threw his head back, flining blonde hair dramatically like Willow Smith and muttered a string of words, the only recognisable coherent thing being 'fucking coward, whiney bitch and why?' Naruto and Kiba tried to shove me through the door to little gain.

Growling in utter frustration and annoyance, Deidara grabbed my legs, hoisting them up and held them together under his arms as he directed us all through the door with a strong pull.

More kicking, clawing and screeching ensued as we were lead through the doors.

The receptionist from before whom I still hadn't learnt the name of stood behind the bench with a cordless phone to her ear and shocked gaping look on her face like she had never seen this before, I would have laughed if I wasn't in absolute dire straits.

Beside her stood a slightly more habitual face of Pein, Itachi's long time good friend and business partner since his days of high school. I hadn't seen him in a few weeks; it would have been nice to see his face any other day but today it signalled the start of my not so well received horror.

I continued to scream nonsense and protest as Deidara, Naruto and Kiba neared the bench, "I'll never doubt Itachi again, putting up with this little shit on a daily basis! Yeah." Deidara cried dramatically like a fucking diva as he dropped me to the floor like an old' sack of potatoes.

I was entirely glad my brother wasn't working; he would have chewed me for being an embarrassment and a pansy sook about something so very trivial. In fact I was glad he wasn't even in the same state, given he was hosting as a special guest for some big tattoo convention for the best of the best.

Some bullshit about being a highly revered guest of some sorts, figures.

My father would have had a litter of kittens if he could see the very un-Uchiha like performance I was having right at this moment.

"Well, well if it isn't the biddy motley crew."Pein laughed heartily using his affectionate nickname for me and my friends that we had adopted from the pierced men when we were still in kindergarten.

I stared at his pierced face and grimaced, any other day any I would have considered them cool and intriguing but today wasn't not my day, not in the least. A death glare worthy of the word fear was my next best option, I couldn't weasel my way out of this if I tried, and fuck had I tried; it had been my fault for being so childish and betted on something that would surely backfire in my face anyway, the blonde buffoon was right, 'I had to be a man a suck it up.'

"So Iddy Biddy Tachi', what exactly can I do you for today?" He grinned happily at me his smiley* piercing glinting mockingly, scowling I disregarded his nick name and glared at the other half of my motley crew.

"Sasuke the bastard is getting a piercing! " Naruto cheered happily like he had won the lottery or something, whilst I felt like I had won a one way ticket to the shitter.

"Oh really? By the looks of it he's not too keen on the idea." He laughed messing up my hair affectionately.

If looks could kill, I'd be friendless and Itachi would be looking for a new business partner.

"To bad for him, he lost the bet and now he has to pay up!" Kiba yelled fist bumping Naruto with doubled enthusiasim.

"He bet Naruto wouldn't get above 80% as his results, he got 81%!" They all laughed at my distaste of the situation.

I felt defeated and sulky, like a spoilt brat I was perceived to be; I was being a sore loser and probably blowing the whole thing way out of proportion but to the hell why did I bet against Naruto test scores of all things?

The man was the most unpredictable person on the face of the planet, fuck he wore a giant frog suit to Sakura's sweet sixteen for fuck sake.

Though Itachi wasn't far behind him.

How hopeless cheesy was that? God I'm such a girl.

Pein's laughing erupted again, "Wow biddy you've really gotten yourself in deep end this time!" I could feel a headache coming on, a skull splitting painful headache.

"So what kind of piercing did you have in mind kiddo?" He asked motioning for the receptionist who was still on the phone to pass him a black slip folder.

I eyed is distastefully as I caught a glimpse of the elegant tattoo sripct depicting the word 'Piercings' across it. Placing it in front of me he opened it causing the other three to flock to my sides so they could see too before voicing their opinions on the matter.

"Something badass and dangerous!" Kiba said grinning like a manic; Naruto nodded furiously agreeing whilst adding his opinion, "Yeah something cool that the ladies are going to dig on, eh bastard?" He nudged me with a inflated grin that showed off his back molars nicely, I frowned annoyed.

Nodding in understanding and acknowledgement, Pein opened the cover to divulge an image of female with a variety of facial piercings; I feigned disinterest while the other oohed and ahhed apreciatvely and completely enthralled;

"What about this one?"

"Oh man check out that, you should get that!"

"No wait, wait this one!"

"Yeah this one fo sho!"

I was thankful when Pein cut them off with his deep professional voice, while I continued to flip idly through the multitude of images of females and males alike.

"There is hundreds of different piercings available, some more painful than others; depending on your pain threshold. For example you could scream murder at a cartilage piercing-"He pointed to a helix* piercing in the folder –"and not feel more than a sting for a labret*." He explained, I listened intently like the good person I was.

I nodded vaguely perceiving the piercings below me, I was surprised and a little intrigued by a few; I mean I had seen a majority of piercings thanks to my brother and his 'crowd' of people, but this was different; this was my piercing.

Opening to the next image, I almost choked on my own spit with shock. I was sure my eyes had protruded to at least the size of saucers as I stared at an image of an erect penis, pierced through with three small barbells*.

Naruto, Kiba and I groaned and gripped our own dicks in sympathy, as if the pain was actually being inflicted on us. Well before they both started laughing and jabbing me in the rib's to mock me; 'oh wow bastard get that done, you'll be sook then!' Naruto and Kiba fist pumped excitedly in a jock fashion.

My face soured and settled into a dry flat look still rubbing my dick in imaginary pain. Pein laughed heartily along with Deidara at the look of laconic humour.

"That's only for the bravest of the brave that one, extremely painful as you could imagine." Pein remarked jabbing Deidara in the ribs looking for some sort of agreement from the turbid blonde.

"Who in the fucking mind would get that?" my face scrunching up in disgust more so at the pain I had imagined than the actual piercing which looked rather appealing, not that I would ever admit that shit out loud, but the pain factor outweighed my choice.

"Your brother too name a few, infact I'm pretty sure he has three of them." Pein looked thoughtful for a moment before bursting out into a full blown laughing fit.

Naruto, Kiba and I had equal revolving looks of shock, pain, horror and disbelief.

"Aw man I remember that, un!" Deidara laughed too remembering the experience, "Yeah he couldn't wear jeans or hardly any pants for like a week!" Pein agreed wiping tears from his eyes chuckles leaving his mouth still.

"Oh dude, and the whinge he put on about not being able to have sex? Un" Deidara laughed more, a grin splitting his face at old memories.

I was decisively shocked, I'm sure my face darkened with blush; my brother with such a forbidden piercing? On his dick, I didn't want to imagine what it looked like.

Hell I would probably end up fist fucking myself with that image in my head, god I'm such a pervert.

"Itachi with a dick piercing? No way, not even he's brave enough for that!" Kiba yelled in disbelief also, Naruto voiced a 'Yeah man!'

"Believe it or not, it's true next time you see him ask, I'm sure he'll show you; he's no qualms with dropping his pants." Pein laughed, flicking the folder again.

I kind of felt a little sick, from nerves or the new information I wasn't sure.

"Here what about this? It's not as noticeable as a lip ring or tongue, it's more painful but I think it would complement your 'bad ass' look" Pein laughed a little, point to a small ring hanging from between a guy's nostrils.

"What's it called?" I asked swallowing thickly; I really liked the look of this one, it wasn't generally flashy and it would be easy to hide as Pein said.

"Septum, it's a little more painful than your average piercing but I think it's worth it." He said, looking at the rest for they're opinions.

"Yeah I like this one; I think it will fit perfectly! Yeah" Deidara said nodding to affirm his words; I vaguely looked at the other two.

"FOR SURE BASTARD!" Naruto hollered high fiveing Kiba in agreement; I nodded to affirm my own thoughts more than them.

I had to admit, it was an attractive piercing and one I could hide easily from my parents view; Fuck I could still hear my old man's voice screaming in my head from when Itachi got his first piercing, I would wait till I moved out to show them I spontaneously decided.

I visibly shuddered.

"Alright septum it is" I muttered almost regrettably, while the other three hooted and cheered.

Pein grinned and order the receptionist whose name was Vanity, to hand him the forms. I fished around in my pockets for my wallet, I needed ID which was my driver's license to prove I was 16+* and legal enough, though I THINK Pein would hav given it to me anyway; regardless of my underage status and called it younger brother benefits.

Taking my ID he handed me the form on a clipboard with a pen, like a robot he rattled off the conditions and such. I quickly checked off the health risks and signed my name in a perfect script, ignoring the fine print which probably stated I'd sell my first born child and then my left nut.

He handed me back my license and motioned for me to follow, making a move to follow Pein, he turned almost as an after thought and addressed the pair in tow.

"You guys can wait out here, I'm sure biddy doesn't want any more pressure today from you lot." He said in fatherly tone, grinning like a lady with Botox he directed me towards the room beside Itachi's private room; the one where I got my tattoo.

With an audible flop and agitated sigh I turned and followed him. Déjà vu swept over me as he led me into the room directing me too the stretcher against the back wall.

"Alright kiddo, relax for a bit we've got to pick out the bling for you; colour preference?" He asked snapping on a pair of black gloves, I shrugged and replied with a safe "What colours are there?"

He shook his head muttering something about 'difficult Uchiha siblings' and turned around to fish out a medium sized clear plastic container filled with an assortment of sealed jewellery in little baggies.

"Right, I've got blue, purple, black, green, gold and silver-" He said looking up at me, I considered for a minute before replying with 'Black, please."

"I knew you'd say that" He laughed removing a little bag and closing the lid, placing the container back in its rightful place under the depths of his chaotic desk.

He showed me the little ring with a ball on either side where it should join; he called it a horseshoe ring.

"Alrighty lay back, I need to swab the area with an alcohol swab." He directed, idly waving his hand in the air whilst reaching reaching for an assortment of things.

Placing a little square piece of paper towel on my sternum he turned to reach for a few things, my eyes bugged as I eyeballed the torture devices he placed on chest.

Noticing my look of horror he quickly explained, "This here-"he picked up a strange device that resembled pillars "is a clamp it will hold the skin in place so it doesn't tear when I pierce it" He explained.

I nodded quickly, glancing away from the torture devices, "Alright this will stink and probably burn your nose a bit" a cold alcohol swab was gingerly rubbed on either side of my septum, giving the uncomfortable feeling on needing to sneeze or cough or something.

"Done, now this is the time to back out; I'll cover for you and say it's impossible to pierce you have some sort of deficiency." He started with a sympathetic looksbut I interrupted him, smiling at his attempt to save me.

Though the verbal and probable physical thrashing I would get from the dynamic duo outside seemed unreasonable.

"No, let's do this. Besides I kind of want one now." I mumbled and grinned, he nodded a little worried and reached over to grab a sealed needle.

"You might want to close your eyes for this one, I won't tell you when I'm doing it, I'll just do it." He said quickly to me, I nodded and sucked in a deep breath closing my eyes.

I felt him clamp the pillars on my septum and I exhaled shakily, the slight pressure making my eyes water dangerously.

A few seconds passed before I got worried, "Pein ju-"a horribly sharp and painful stab elected a cry from me.

My eye's watered and poured down from the corners of my eyes, the aching pain I still felt in my nose spurring on the death grip I clenched my knuckles in.

"Alright, there we go it's over, don't be alarmed at the blood; I've still got to put the ring in." He said quickly as I mewled in pain, my finger twitching to rub at the sting and blood pooling in the indent of my top lip.

Fuck this was the worst fucking idea; I'm going to fucking murder them out there.

I clenched my teeth as Pein moved the needle quickly to push the small black ring through; I winced as he tightened the other ball on.

"Alrighty done! Fuck it looks good" He grinned as I opened my eyes, tears still streaming down my face.

"That fucking hurt you lying bastard." I growled moving to sit up; I could feel the pooled blood dripping down my lip.

Which probably made me look tons bad ass.

Handing me a tissue he moved to help me stand, I was a little dizzy and my nose hurt but I was alright; I would live another day thank fully.

I moved towards the mirror adhesive to the wall while he disposed of the wrappers and gloves.

I was a little shocked and queasy at the blood I now wiped off my face, but nothing I couldn't handle. The piercing itself looked pretty good I was pleased with myself; maybe the pain was worth the result I looked fucking good.

"Alright healing should take between 2 and 12 weeks at most, if you have any trouble you know to come back and I'll sort it out. Avoid bumping it because it will fucking hurt and try to avoid swimming in public areas were infection is liable; Oh and don't touch it with your fingers!" He scowled knocking my wandering fingers away from my nose.

I glared but then grinned, damn I was bad ass.

The pain was definitely worth the satisfaction I got from the looks on Naruto and Kiba's face, fucking bastards trying to up me one on a bet; I was an Uchiha Inever lose.

[Time Skip a few days]

The swelling was all but gone; I was fucking grateful for it too, the swelling was worse than the piercing in fact it was the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in my life. The day after had been the worse since I couldn't continually hide out at Naruto's for the whole two weeks or so it would take to heal I was forced to flip the ring up to face my parents.

It had been painful and possibly not worth it, but fuck did I look good with it.

Itachi was due home today, well tonight really his flight landed around 10 ish or so, I was grateful since he had asked me to pick him up since he had left his cars at home and that meant staying over his house and buying myself a few days. I was nervous and excited; I had missed my big brother greatly but the fit he was going to have when he saw my new piece of jewellery was going to be a sight.

I decided to flip it up much like I had done the last few days as an afterthought whilst I set off towards the airport.

The drive to the airport was an uneventful one, average traffic and all too minimal timing; I was walking in the terminal in minutes. Hundreds of face blurred past as I stood near the baggage claim, my arms crossed over my chest as I looked for my brothers tell tale form my finger itching against my ribs to encircle him.

I became increasingly annoyed and worried at the girls ogling me and the fact that Itachi's flight had landed near fifteen minutes ago without so much as a flash of his tall ass anywhere. Twenty thoughts went through my mind at this point; what if he missed his flight? What if his flight wasn't the one I thought it was, what if-

I screamed indignantly when someone grabbed me from behind, it was embarrassing and I hoped to pass it off as one of the girl scouts nearby. I spun around violently to offer up my best glare and verbal thrashing when my eyes came face to face with the taller form of my brother holding me and an amused tired look on his graceful features.

"Keep your voice down Otouto, people will think I'm raping you or something" Itachi chuckled pulling me close in a hug.

I grinned despite my embarrassment and hugged him back, his familiar smell and sight giving me a sense of home.

"I missed you Nii-san!" I sighed hugging him some more, he kissed my forehead and pulled back.

"I miss you too Otouto, now let's get my shit so we can go; I'm tired as fuck" He said holding my hand as he pulled us long to the baggage claim.

Fuck the obscure looks we were receiving.


The drive home to his house was quiet, filled with only basic details of his trip and conversation about the new piece he had acquired on the side of his neck; a beautiful rose design that filled that void space perfectly.

God I envied my brother decorate skin.

We pulled into the driveway and I help Itachi lug his suitcases inside before following him for the stairs, "Nii-san am I sleeping in your bed?" I asked as we entered his room, he nodded pulling his shirt over his head whilst booting off his shoes and socks.

I copied him and waited while he undid his pants, he stopped however and moved towards the bed his fly still open he gripped the sheets and flung them up into the air; I panicked as the dust flew into the air and found its way to my nose.

Fuck you hay fever*, fuck you.

I could feel an almighty sneeze coming on and I let rip after unsuccessfully avoiding it, covering my face while I sneezed, I avoided boogers from flying everywhere.

"Sorry Otouto" Itachi laughed looking at me, I muttered 'it's okay' while I coughed and rubbed my itchy eyes.

"Sasuke, what's that?" I froze my eyes opening to stare at Itachi who was looking at me with a hard expression, the panic mounted and I felt kind of sick.

I shakily lifted my hand to my nose to indeed find that the sneeze had caused the good and bad ring to fly out of its flipped position.

"Tachi' it was a bet a stupid one and I lost, so I got Pein to give me a piercing as punishment." I explained quickly as he moved towards me, my mouth dropping the hopefully decent explanation like word vomit.

Fear settled in my chest as he stood right in front of me, looming tall and with a blank expression on his face, I swallowed nervously as the seconds ticked by slowly.

"It looks good, but in future tell me when you do these things Otouto; I don't like finding things out later." He said smiling tiredly at the exhaled breath I released while he kissed the tip of my nose affectionately before pulling me into a hug.

I sighed and murmured a 'Yes Itachi'

Itachi moved away from me and I scampered onto the bed, my side of the bed respectively as Itachi pulled down his jeans and I blushed remembering the so called, yet to be seen piercings Pein and Deidara claimed my brother to have.

"Hey Itachi..." I muttered catching his attention as he adjusted his boxers around his sharp hips.

"I, I…um" I blushed furiously looking away and breathing slowly through my nose.

"What is it Otouto?" He asked standing at the foot of the bed, his hair untied and spewing over his tattooed shoulders.

"isyourdickpierced?" I said quickly, blushing a furious colour of red while hiding my face.

He looked confused for a moment before muttering a 'huh?' I exhaled shakily and looked at his face slowing my heart and speech.

"Do you really have your, you know dick pierced?" I whispered the last part as if it were hell itself.

Smirking he crossed his arms over his chest, an eyebrow raised he spoke.

"And where did you hear such a thing like that Otouto? Mh?" He questioned proving to be highly intimidating.

"Well when I was getting my septum done, we as in Naruto, Kiba, Dei, Pein and I were flicking through a folder of photos and we saw a erect penis-" he choked a little on the word, where as Itachi's smirk grew larger, almost deadly. "And Pein said you had one, three actually." I corrected myself and looked at him, the colour of my most favoured food.

"Hm, nobody can have a secret with them pair on the case." He sighed and looked at me bemused, his eyes glinting.

"Yes, Otouto I have my dick pierced; it was painful and I don't ever want to hear of you getting one." He said as an afterthought.

I nodded furiously, I had no intentions of ever getting another piercing after the last one; it was too painful and I treasured my manhood too much to inflict such pain.

"Could I see it?" I asked, my bravery growing the more my brother talked freely with me.

It was his turn to look shocked this time but soon recovered and grinned, which sacred me slightly.

"My, my, my Otouto, curious about such things" He smirked again before he reached for his boxers pushing them down his hips.

My eye's bugged as I stared like a fish with larger unblinking eyes, like that fish from bad boys two with the nice eyes.

Sure as the tide, my brother had three barbells running the length of his cock just as Pein had said. I swore the room gained in temperature as I stared unabashedly at the exposed skin, I coughed and looked away satisfied with my answer.

He chuckled pulling his boxers back up and climbing on the bed; "Your penis bars a very lovely" I coughed awkwardly as I lay on my side, my back to his chest.

He laughed which made me jump and pulled me close by the waist, "You wanted to know Otouto, now tell me have you ever felt a tongue piercing?"


Helix – A top ear piercing, through the cartilage.

Labret- a lower lip piercing, in the center just under the bottom lip.

Smiley – A horseshoe ring attached the that little piece of tissue that connects you top lip to your gum inside your mouth.

Barbells- a bar with a screwed on ball at each end, they can be straight or curved basically any bar with a ball at each end.

16+ - the legal age to get a piercing here in Australia without parental supervision.

Hay fever – an allergy to a multitude fo things including dust, pollen, perfumes and more.

Cheers loves.