Written for anonymous on tumblr. Enjoy.
Hermione Granger hated being pregnant. She hated everything about it. She couldn't for the life of her what about this had seemed like a good idea all those months ago. Swollen ankles, huge stomach, constant cravings for bizarre foods (and grass that one time), mood swings. And then there was that whole bit were there was a tiny human growing inside of her. Whose brilliant idea had that been, having one human grow inside another? It was preposterous.
And she was so fat. How had Mrs. Wealsey done this, not once, but six times? Six!
"Morning, Love," Fred's voice interrupted her thoughts. Hermione grumbled back at him. "What's the matter?" he asked, sensing her annoyance.
"I'm fat," she replied.
"You're pregnant," he pointed out.
"So you agree, I'm fat!"
"Well of course you're fat! You've got a child growing inside you. I can hardly imagine that it would be normal to be anything but a little fat."
"Damn you and your logical logic."
"Yes, my logic is logical. Your logic is pregnant, and therefore flawed."
"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to insult a pregnant woman?"
"I'm not insulting you," he replied, kissing her. "You're logical fallacies are adorable."
"But I'm still fat."
"Yep, but that's cute, too," he said, pulling her close and kissing her again.
"You really hate being pregnant this much?"
"I'm fat, I waddle like a duck whenever I try to move, and there's a tiny alien abomination growing inside me and it seems downright unnatural."
Fred laughed. He actually laughed.
"Stop that," she pouted.
"But you're so adorable."
"This was your idea, wasn't it? Having a baby. You wanted this, not me. You should be the fat one."
"No that would be unnatural, " he grinned. "And you wanted kids. We both do."
"Kids!" she exclaimed. "Kids? You think I'm doing this again? You, sir, are very wrong."
"Alright, alright." He held his hands up in surrender. "Kid. One. Singular. Just the one kid. No more."
"Sorry I've been an insane badger," she said a few hours later.
Fred burst out laughing. "Insane… badger?"
Hermione blushed. "I don't know, it's just what popped into my head."
Still grinning, he pulled her into his lap and kissed her.
No more than two hours later, they were sitting in St. Mungo's hospital. There was a little Elf nurse running in and out, making sure Hermione, Fred, and the room, were all prepared for the childbirth.
"I hate you," Hermione said as the contractions got closer and closer together. "Next time, you're doing this bit."
"Whatever you say, Love," he smiled, holding her hand.
Within another two hours, Hermione and Fred were holding a shiny baby girl, and they were both grinning ear to ear.
"Little Georgika is so beautiful, isn't she?" Fred asked.
"We are not calling her that," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.
"Fredlette? Hermillion? Harriet? Ronasaurus? Mollienda?"
"No. Those are terrible names."
Hermione glared at him.
"Are you kidding? That's a brilliant name! Stormageddon, Empress of the World. It's perfect."
"We are not naming our child Stormageddon."
Fred grinned. "No, I suppose not. How about Violet?
Hermione pondered the name for a moment, looking deep into her daughter's face.
"Yes. I think I rather like that."
"So, tell me: as far as tiny alien abominations go, how do you like her?"
Hermione smiled. "She's beautiful. Not alien or abominable at all. Just wonderful."
"So does that mean we can have another?"
Hermione laughed. "Yes, I suppose we could consider it."
"Can we name that one Stormageddon?"
"Oh, come on. Please?"
"What about as a middle name? Violet Stormageddon Weasley. It has a nice ring to it, don't you think? We could call her Stormy for short."
Despite Hermione's protests, he continued to call her Stormy.
The Doctor Who reference is entirely intentional and I really have no idea what came over me. It seemed like a suggestion that Fred would legitimately have.