A request from BibbieSparks
Chapter 10: What to say to friends and family
His sister standing near the wall watching him like a hawk, Fuji knowing that he had to be careful around her as she has eyes like his. He was going to have to cover up his body soon if his sister was around him. Soon Fuji walked into the corridor and to where the living room was, his sister following. He was sitting at the couch where a plate of snacks that he probably bought on his way here and a soft drink on the small table.
"Fujiko." It sounded lonely and almost flat. Fuji was surprised. He sounded like he had some spirit during the phone call that he called him but he guessed that his sister was here and that Eiji wanted to talk to him a little more privately.
"Sorry, I would have called you but Eiji said that you were in the hospital. Why didn't you tell us? It could have been something important…" It is important but private for him to know. Fuji biting his bottom lip wondering how he was going to keep that a secret.
"It's alright, nee san. I didn't have enough time to tell you, and I didn't think it was important."
"What do you mean it isn't important? Family is important just as classes are important. I know college never gives us time to do anything but studying…but you have to tell us something." Starting to get huffy at him, she flipped her hair away from her shoulder and took a look at him. She's being annoying but I know she's only looking out for me.
"…I'm sorry. I promise to call next time." With the soft voice he have, Fuji gave her a look that represented a promising gaze that came from a child who was crossing his fingers behind his back. His sister only sighed while Eiji smirked behind her.
"You better, at least mom doesn't know yet. You didn't tell Yuuta did you?" Oops. I forgot… There's Yuuta to think about.
"Umm…no?" His sister took a hard look at him and turned away to sigh almost dramatically before picking up her bag that was next to one of the couch's arm. Fuji then threw his jacket lightly at the couch, stepping into the room where his sister stood a few feet in front of him.
"You know that he would worry the most out of everyone…even when he's not going to show it." Not taking a look at her younger brother, Fuji knew the look on her face anyway even when she has her back turned from him. The look of sad disappointment and frustration that gives Fuji the feeling of being his gut punched.
"So are you going to go with us?"
"What? Go where?" His sister gave him another look that almost resembles Yuuta's annoyed and angry look before having to huff at Eiji who cowered at her gaze before turning back to Fuji.
"The festival. The one at Koishikawa Korakuen, near the station. You better come. It's not going to be much good if you're not there when everyone else is." The cherry blossom festival…only four days away… How much time would that be before anyone would find out that there was something abnormal about his body when he's going to be wearing a light jacket. Or he could just not go. The paper hidden in his jacket… The month was already turning warm and sunny, even though it's only March; the seasons were fast to change.
"I'll try…" His sister only shook her head and patted the brown fizzy hair of her brother, walking to the hallway telling him that she was going to be at the festival with Yuuta, waving a goodbye at him.
"And at least come home once in a while…" Fuji only smiled and nodded at her, seeing her walk out to the hall, hearing the door click behind her. Sighing with a little more air in the room, Eiji took a glance at him and stood up, asking him if he wanted anything to drink. Fuji already tired and was about to collapse, took himself to keep standing and started walking to the kitchen.
"I'm alright, I'll go get something. Do you want anything? You're the guest here…" Eiji took a second to look at Fuji's face, seeing anything different or weird about him but Fuji knowing to cover his face anytime, hid the tiredness and walked into the kitchen without hearing his request or anything that he would want.
Peeking in his fridge, Fuji saw juice and wondered if Eiji bought and saved it for later to drink with him. Taking the small cans of juice into the room, he found himself next to Eiji, placing the cans down on the small table. He took his that was surprisingly apple and grape juice, and popped open the lid, the hissing sound filling the silenced room. Eiji was just staring at the juice can for a few seconds before having to take it in his hands, leaving the cool metal mixing in with the warmth of his hands.
It was a few minutes before Eiji was asking him how he was doing. It felt awkward and tense around him when he hasn't spoken much to the red head about his problems.
"How was the hospital?"
"It's alright. Can't get the smell out from my senses though." To this, the red head only smiled, knowing how the hospital stenches of its wastes and its own smell. He smiled and looked at the brunette with a sideways look, opening the can with a hiss, soon cutting out the silence.
Fuji could only hope that Eiji doesn't ask or know anything about his condition, while he kept asking questions about his classes and how the family was, since he was always surrounded by the people in his house since he didn't want to live in the dorm with the others.
"So then, how are you and Oishi?" He thought he saw a twitch at the red head's eyebrow. A little bit taken back when he saw the dark look looming over Eiji's face, making him curious of what happened to the golden pair.
"Did something happen between the two of you?" Eiji looked away from Fuji, pouting slightly and almost scowling at the couch's cushion, unresponsive to Fuji's question. Looking at his face, Fuji turned sideways to find a very unhappy Eiji like face with a sad gaze that almost made Fuji want to poke him until he tells him what was wrong.
"…It's nothing. Just a fight."
"Was it about me?" Feeling a little guilty that Eiji hasn't known anything from the look on his face, Fuji wondered if he should tell him today, at least what he only told Oishi for today. He was about to say something but Eiji beated him to it.
"No! Maybe…I don't know…."
"I wanted….I wanted to talk with Oishi about something but he wasn't paying attention and…" Eiji started to almost get irritated from just remembering the conversation in his room.
"What did you want to say then?" Fuji was a little shocked that Fuji wasn't paying attention to him. Or maybe it was because of him that was making him think too much. Fuji could almost feel a sweatdrop coming down from his forehead and tried to pay attention to what Eiji was saying in front of him.
"It's…it's just something about Oishi and me…well…I'm not sure whether it concerns you or not…eummm…" It doesn't concern me? I'm your friend for crying out loud! But maybe that was how he felt when I haven't told him anything about what happened… Trying to hold the anger in and to hide the expression that he was being irritated by the other's words, Fuji just nodded and told him that it was fine if he didn't want him to listen.
Squirming around in his seat, Eiji just turned red, finishing up his juice and crunching the can flat. "It's not that…ummm…it's just…sort of complicated and embarrassing…" Pondering over the thought of whether he should keep asking or change the subject. But Eiji looked so sad like a puppy that didn't get his treat after dinner.
"Nee, Fujiko…what really happened to you?" Staring at him with deep blue colored eyes Fuji couldn't help but stare with his mouth opening and closing, not knowing what to say when he changed the subject. Would I tell him now? It was really a good opening to spill everything from his head.
"Ummm…well, it's…" Fumbling with his words Fuji had that were at the tip of his tongue, he didn't know where to start off from. Where he is right now, pregnant at ten to eleven weeks, or from when he wasn't enjoying the 'pleasure' a certain someone he received from.
"See? It's the same thing. You can't say anything when it's really private to you and can only confide in a person that can be with you. Is that why you're not telling me but Oishi? Is it because I'm loud?" The words shooting out from his mouth like bullets to the semi protective chest jacket Fuji was mentally wearing. Fuji honestly didn't mean to not tell Eiji about it but he knows that sometimes he can say things out of his mouth without thinking, but it wouldn't be on purpose.
"No, Eiji that's not it." Telling him firmly and in his face didn't seem to calm him down a bit. He only seems to look more frustrated and a little red.
"Then what is it? What can you tell Oishi but not me? Why can't you tell me?" The shouting seemed to have the neighbor downstairs to be annoyed and had gave out a thump from downstairs, probably using something to hit the ceiling or something. A small silence seem to hold the room, freezing the time between the two, the hard breathing from the red head while the brunette was breathing more heavily than him, probably from the stress and the tiredness.
Suddenly as if there was a spell that was casted on Fuji, he started to cry. He wasn't sobbing or just crying with wails or hysterically, it was like the silent kind of crying, almost like the flow of the river flowing. Not knowing what became of him, he touched the tears as if he had never seen tears before. It felt like a void that was swallowing him to a place where his insides would be shredded until there was nothing left of him; empty and without any feelings. Eiji was taken back, or more like he jumped about two feet in the air from the surprise of seeing his best friend cry like that.
Was it from all the thoughts that stressed him into breaking down in front of his best friend? The way unrequited love works when Fuji knew that it was almost impossible to even comprehend that that kind of love can't be attained? Or was it all of the things that he has been hiding from everyone and that he just didn't want to be alone in his situation anymore? He can hold a lot of things together; his grades, social life, playing tennis, keeping his family straight which was mainly Yuuta. But with his condition and being a full grown adult wasn't helping him think straight.
"F-Fujiko! I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"
"It's fine...I'm fine." With a hard swipe with the back of his hand on each eye, Fuji stared at the plain ugly blue color carpet. Both knowing that his strained words weren't trustworthy to grasp, Eiji just went over to him and hugged him tight like he used to do back in their middle school years. For one moment, Fuji found peace in the closeness and touch of someone else close to him. But he couldn't find the strength to raise his arms and give him back the hug.
Eiji was trembling in his arms, having the image that Fuji was still in his mood or that he doesn't forgive him even after the hug, making him very scared of whether or not it was a good idea to hug him. Yet it scared Eiji that he didn't know what Fuji was feeling and thought better to keep holding him for a while. A minute that passed by, Eiji hasn't released the hug yet, not knowing how to break it when Eiji hadn't had much contact with anyone in a while, especially Oishi.
Slowly retracting from Fuji's arms, Eiji thought he heard something from his mouth and leaned in to ask him what he said just now. "Huh? What did you say? I couldn't hear you."
Fuji almost looked like he was going to faint but took a shaky breath and exhale slowly as possible. He could feel the curious eyes at his head, boring him with the voiceless questions that he wants to ask but shook the uneasiness away. Trying not to let the tears fall again, Fuji cleared his throat and tried to look at the red head in the eyes but found his neck instead. If Oishi finds out…maybe they'll stay away from me because of how horrible and disgusting this is.
"I'm…pregnant." Eiji stare at him like he was saying something weird and in a different language and all he could do was hang his mouth open like a fish with the obvious question that confuses him most, "What?"
Seeming to be a little frustrated that he has to repeat almost everything embarrassingly over again, Fuji said with a little more detailed explanation than he could give, feeling his face turn red as he explained. Though it didn't seem like Fuji can be coherent or loud about it.
"I…It's…you know…from…class…from…doing the thing…where you…umm…when women…Arggh!" Scaring Eiji with the sudden loud voice, making him fall back on the couch, Fuji started to rub his hands in his face wondering how he could tell him such a thing when he himself haven't really believed much about himself. He was a man for crying out loud. He wasn't supposed to be pregnant. He was suppose to be enjoying this time of his life, stressing himself onto college studies and finding a reliable career, hanging out with his friends, making memories of their idiotic selves and sharing with each other, finding someone he could be with for the rest of his life… Instead fate had led him somewhere he had to be pushed to make the hard decisions that affected the tree branches of his life.
"What- what do you mean by that Fuji? Class? What class? You said you were…what?" Of course Eiji would be the one to fall asleep during health class, of all the classes that he was uninterested in. But he was always uninterested in most of the classes, especially the ones that have something to do with numbers and remembering facts on. Though it surprised Fuji when Eiji slept through the class that would be most important to him and his relationship with Oishi. But it didn't matter now as Fuji slowly let his hand down from his face but not making any eye contact at him.
"Oh Eiji…" What do I say to you really? If Oishi was here, he might also have a hard time explaining to you especially when you two are in a situation like this… Sighing at the red head, Fuji could feel his body growing weak and heavy, almost unable to stand and started to sit on the carpet until Eiji said something that almost sounded ridiculous.
"Did Oishi have anything to do with this?" What does Oishi have to do with this?
"Oishi has nothing to—"
"Then wh-what do you mean when you said you're pregnant? Isn't that only when girls give birth to…babies? Guys can't do that." Stuttering about, while his face was filled with mixed emotions but most of them showed the insecurity and a spark of jealously that Fuji surely thought that Eiji was going to punch him in the face and run off like nothing happened to the conversation.
Why did I open my mouth for? Fuji rubbed his temples as he sat on the couch, Eiji watching him with a wary and tense gaze that he didn't sit with the other. Wondering what he should be saying next, Fuji first thought that he should clear up that he hasn't done anything with Oishi. After all they are friends with him.
"I assure you, nothing has happened between me and Oishi. We didn't do anything except talk and eat and I mean eat food. If we did anything, Oishi would have told you already" Eiji looking unsure of himself, Fuji thought to give him time to think but he was already done thinking.
"Then what do you mean you're…pregnant then? What the hell is that? I don't believe that. You're not answering my question."
"You don't believe me." Stating in the flat tone voice Fuji used on Inui some time ago, he then thought, of course not, who would believe me besides Oishi who take everything so seriously? Grabbing the jacket behind him, lying lazily from the arm of the couch and deep into the pocket where the folded paper of evidence. Taking the paper out he threw it at Eiji, not caring whether or not it'll hit his face or the floor, it was the only evidence he could provide for Eiji to see.
Staring at the folded square of paper, the red head looked at it curiously and hesitantly, wondering what it could, glancing at Fuji who was staring at the pitch black window. Picking the light paper with ease at his feet, his flexibility working to his use his back bending and taking the paper with nimble hands, unfolding the mysterious paper Fuji had threw.
A few moments passed by; the sound of the clock ticking, the soft breathing of the two in the room, and the slight hum of the fridge, leaving Fuji goosebumps at the waiting anticipation of Eiji's response. Unable to see his face behind the paper, Fuji could see the hands gripping the paper trembling so hard that the paper shakes.
"Are you kidding me?" Facing to the almost calm tensai sitting in front of him, Eiji had the most angriest and fiercest face that didn't compare to anyone's face he had ever seen before, though Fuji didn't show it on his face, he was already trembling for what might happen to him.
"What would I kid you of Eiji?" The cold voice unconsciously out of his mouth, wishing that Eiji would be more reasonable or at least listen to him like Oishi is. But unfortunately, Eiji is Eiji.
"I don't know but it sounds like you're just hiding something from me other than this. How do I know whether this is yours or not? You could have taken it from someone else in the hospital or-"
"Get out." The tensai's eyes burned into the others', clashes of blue being stared at each other, Eiji's hand that was waving the paper around while Fuji was silently steaming over the fact that Eiji couldn't let this go. But it seemed unreasonable to kick Eiji out just because he didn't want to face the whole truth from Eiji. The plans to tell them, well Eiji and Oishi anyway, about Inui evaporated like heated water.
Eiji stared at him like he said something ridiculous and had an opened mouth for a few seconds before closing and stared at him with full force, the rage, upsetness and the sadness in his eyes clearly reflecting to Fuji's.
"What?" The few minutes of silence was tense and heavy air crushing the oxygen in the room was making Fuji dizzy and he felt like he was about to faint from the tired. The sound of Eiji's voice was echoing in his ears, wondering if he should even say anything.
"I said…" Pausing there, Fuji wasn't sure if he should say anything else or to even repeat what he just said from the look on Eiji's face that almost looked like he was about to cry or scream at Fuji like he did during middle school whenever something happened. But it was nothing like this, nothing that was dark and deep that needed to be caged up like a trapped animal clawing to get out of its imprisonment. Too many reasons why Fuji couldn't tell him about what happened, what was going on in his life know, to tell him to get out.
"Please." The soft pleading voice that made Fuji's heart jump at how much Eiji cared to listen to him. Why did he even deserve a friend like him he wondered as he debated to tell him truthfully or to get out so Eiji wouldn't have to know and Fuji dealing with everything later.
Why should I hurt him by telling him this?
"…umm April fool's?"