learn to fly
soulmate : chapter 3 outtake;
It was mentioned in passing. He was on the phone with Rachel, who was inviting him to some performance she and Kurt were in, their final performance at NYADA. At first, he didn't think he heard it correctly. He thought that maybe he misunderstood.
"Alex?" Blaine repeated lamely. Surely Rachel wasn't implying—
"Kurt's new boyfriend," she told him quickly. Then, a pause. "He... he didn't tell you?"
"No," Blaine muttered awkwardly. "He—I... I mean, we've both been so busy..."
"Right," Rachel said hesitantly.
"So... what's he like?" Blaine asked. "Alex, I mean."
"He's the best," Rachel quickly told him. "He's so sweet, and so handsome. He's so good to Kurt, and... goodness, they're so great together."
"Yeah, I bet," Blaine grumbled.
Rachel sighed heavily from the other end of the line. "Blaine, you're not still on about this... thing... with Kurt, are you?"
"Thing?" Blaine asked indignantly. "It wasn't just some 'thing', Rachel. He's my soulmate."
"Blaine..." Rachel sighed again. "You broke up two years ago. I had hoped you had let this go." Blaine didn't respond, and Rachel added quietly, "Kurt did."
Blaine froze, the anger inside him reaching a breaking point. "Look, I've got to go," he muttered.
"I'll see if I can make the show," he added. "But I honestly doubt it." And without another word, he ended the call.
It was again Rachel that told him, two years later, when Alex apparently proposed to Kurt.
And Kurt had said yes.
And immediately Blaine regretted taking an extra semester to complete his minor, and the next day he completely failed his final exam. (Thankfully it wasn't enough to utterly destroy his grade.)
Blaine had hesitantly responded 'yes' to the invitation to Kurt's wedding. There was still a dull ache in his chest every time he thought about the idea that it wasn't him. Part of him felt like it should be.
But, he reasoned, he also knew that it never would be.
For a long while he had taken to writing Alex off as a villain, and told himself that he could easily wait for the moment when he needed to ride in and rescue Kurt. But then, at last, he had met the man. And then he really had no doubt in his mind that he really was the perfect man for Kurt.
And maybe that made it all worse.
He had to give Kurt credit that he could plan a perfect wedding. And he gave him the biggest grin and the most heart-felt congratulations, and Kurt hugged him close in thanks.
And honestly, part of Blaine wished he hadn't gone after all.
"Did you hear that Blaine's got himself a boyfriend?" Rachel asked, mixing the bowl of cake batter in Kurt's kitchen.
Kurt glanced at her. "Really?" he responded.
"Some guy named Christian," she continued. "He seems like a pretty good guy, at least the way he talks about him."
Kurt grinned at her. "We should invite them out," he said. "I just wish they'd met a few months earlier—maybe then Blaine could have dragged him along to the wedding."
"I'm happy for him," Kurt assured Rachel, as they drank their coffee. "But, honestly... I mean, they've been together on and off for a year, now?" He sighed, spinning his own wedding band around his finger. "I just think he's moving too fast."
"Then tell him that," Rachel said.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "I really doubt that I'm the one who should be telling him something like that," he said pointedly.
Rachel stared at him for a moment before carefully tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You're right," she said seriously. "I think you should stay out of it."
Kurt quirked a brow. "You do?" he asked hesitantly. He hadn't exactly expected her to agree.
"I think that you'd just be opening up old wounds," she told him. He paused, but then nodded, biting his lip.
"Maybe you're right."
"He's precious," Blaine said to Tina, in regards to the child in her arms.
She smiled at him. "He's turning one in just a couple weeks," she said.
He sighed. "I'm really sorry I haven't been around to see him yet..."
She waved him off. "Please, a lot of our friends still haven't," she said. "Mercedes hasn't visited home in ages, and Rachel never has time when she visits. Same with Kurt." She looked up at him. "I hope he does though. I want our kids to be friends. You heard he just adopted a boy, too? Him and Alex."
"Yeah," Blaine responded lamely. "He told me last week."
She nodded, then paused slightly, looking hesitantly at Blaine. "You don't still think about him, do you?"
"Of course not," he said quickly. "That'd be ridiculous. You know I'm engaged. Nah, I got over Kurt a long time ago."
She nodded slowly. "But you're still friends, right?"
"Yeah," he assured her. "We are, and our kids will be too. So will this little one." He leaned in to make a face at the boy as he giggled in his mother's arms. He glanced back up at Tina and gave her what he hoped was a convincing smile.
Kurt wondered if he should have gone after all.
He fidgeted with his shirt slightly, sitting on the plane back to New York, Aiden at his side, looking eagerly out the window. Kurt sighed, leaning back in his chair.
He definitely should have gone.
He should have been there for the boy—the man—that had once been his best friend. Even if they weren't as close any more, he at least owed him that.
He could have gone. He didn't have any business to attend to in L.A., that was all Alex, but Kurt had excused himself in order to go with Alex. Because Rachel had slowly convinced him it was better.
It was the little comments. Little things about 'hurting Blaine' and 'old wounds' and 'he still loved you, two years after'. And then he couldn't force himself to go to the wedding. So when Alex said he had to go out of town, he had offered to go with him, to show Aiden the city.
And now Christian had left his once best friend at the alter.
He smiled faintly at his husband, as the man sat down in the seat on his other side, casually slipping his hand in his.
Yet all Kurt could desperately think of was how he fucked up. He should have seen the signs, from the break-ups and make-ups to the fast engagement to the years of being engaged to the finally rushed wedding. He should have done something to fix it. But, he reasoned, he couldn't have. He could only fix it now.
He would call him the moment he got back to New York, he would, he had to. He had to at least try to make it a little better.
Because he wasn't just feeling the guilt for what Christian had done to break Blaine's heart, but what Kurt had done himself, years before.
Blaine stared at the text on his screen uneasily. Ella had at last fallen back to sleep, after another nightmare (he'd been assured it was normal after what she'd been through, but Blaine's heart continued to ache for her and found himself constantly researching online for any tricks or tips). Finally Blaine had returned to his bedroom, picking up his cell phone to see the missed call and the text message.
"Major importance. Call immediately. **Rachel"
He hesitated, but pushed the call button anyway.
"Oh Blaine, thank god," she gushed, after only one ring. "I was—I'm the one who's making the calls about all this."
Blaine's stomach churned slightly. "What do you mean?" he asked. "What's going on?"
"Alex—Kurt's husband—he was killed last night," she reported, and he could hear in her voice that she was close to tears.
Blaine was silent. Of all the things he possibly expected to hear, this was not one of them. "What?" he responded lamely.
"Last night, Alex was—"
"No," Blaine quickly said, "I heard you, I just... I..."
There was silence for a few moments on either side of the line, as the idea sunk in for Blaine. He felt sick to his stomach. Never would he wished this upon Kurt. Hell, even as jealous as he might have been at first, he never once had any truly ill will against Alex.
At first, he had wanted to hate him. And maybe he even did, just a little bit. But when he actually met the man... when he saw how happy he made Kurt, saw how perfect they were (though it pained him to admit it)... well, he couldn't. He made Kurt happy, and that was all that mattered.
"He's moving back to Ohio," Rachel finally told him, breaking the quiet, and this was probably the worst part of it to Blaine: the fact that Kurt was leaving his dream behind because, Blaine could only assume, it was simply too painful. "In with his dad and Carole."
"I..." he mumbled, thinking desperately, trying to find something he could say. "Could I—could you give me Finn's number?"
"Finn's number?" Rachel inquired slowly. "Not—"
"Not Kurt's," Blaine quickly said. "I don't... I don't want to push him."` He sighed, running a hand over his face. "I figure this will just..."
"Yeah," Rachel said. "Yeah, no, I—I understand." A pause. "Let me just—I'll text it to you, all right?"
"Yeah," Blaine responded. "And Rachel? Thanks for letting me know."