His mother heaving, gasping for breath, choking on the blood she was coughing up…the last terrifying rattle as her lungs finally gave out…her dead, unseeing eyes—his eyes-hazel and sparkling with life, now so empty in death…his father's body, brought home by the aurors…the whispers of how he threw himself into the crossfire, as if he had nothing left to live for…

James woke with a cry, covered in sweat, shaking uncontrollably. It was the same every night, he could not stop reliving their deaths, could not stop the images from flashing in front of him each time he closed his eyes. Days were much the same, except then he was surrounded by the memories of their life, alone in the ancient manor, as he trailed aimlessly from room to room, desperately trying to push away the oppressive gloom that cloaked him and threatened to pull him under. His only recourse, really, was flying—up in the air he could leave everything else behind, become one with the wind, and live, just live without the specter of his parents' deaths haunting his every breath.

It was times like this that James wished Sirius still lived with him, but Sirius had moved out as soon as Sixth Year ended, claiming he couldn't bear to live on charity. James had wanted to punch him for saying that, had wanted to remind him they were brothers and there could be no question of charity between the two of them, but he understood that this was something Sirius needed. Of course, Sirius had been by his side throughout the ordeal with his mother, and had apparated to his house immediately when James's father was brought in, but James missed Sirius's loudness and irrepressible energy in the stillness of the manor.

James dragged himself out of bed, brushed his teeth and headed downstairs to the wonderful smell of bacon being fried.

"Good morning, Master Jamesie," squeaked a wrinkled old house elf who barely came up to James's waist, but made utterly delectable food all the same.

"Morning, Tibby," James said, giving a half-smile to the affectionate creature who'd been around all his life. He tucked into his breakfast, shoveling bacon into his mouth until the arrival of an owl through the open kitchen window interrupted him. James relieved the owl of the rather heavy missive it was carrying and watched as it flew away at once.

James glanced at the familiar heavy parchment and emblem of the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, wondering idly whether he could get all the Marauders to go together to Diagon Alley to pick up their school books. A loud pop interrupted his musings, and the grinning face of his best friend appeared in front of him.

"Hey Padfoot," James said, watching his friend steal the rest of his breakfast.

"Prongs," Sirius said, through a mouthful of bacon, nodding at James. With an enormous swallow, he continued, "Got your Hogwarts letter? What do you say to a trip down to old Diagon with Messieurs Moony and Wormtail?"

"You read my mind, Padfoot," James said, grinning reluctantly. He reached over to open up the envelope, noting that it was heavier than usual. As he pulled out his letter, school materials list and Quidditch Captain badge, a second badge fell onto the floor with a clatter. He picked it up and stared at it incredulously, tracing the HB inscribed on it. Head Boy? With a snort of annoyance, he chucked the badge at Sirius, who ducked just in time.

"Really, mate? Head Boy? You're going to have to try a lot harder than that," James said, scowling at Sirius's blank face.

Sirius slowly picked up the badge from where it lay on the floor, his eyes widening comically and his mouth dropping open. He gaped at James, who frowned back at him.

"Wasn't me, mate, you know I could never meddle with anything of Dumbledore's…old codger must have had one too many of Ogden's Finest," Sirius said, starting to laugh as the hilarity of the situation hit him. "Check and see if there's a letter, maybe he went and made Snivellus Head Girl," he sniggered.

Still not quite believing Sirius wasn't having him off, James opened the familiar Hogwarts start of the year letter.

Dear Mr. Potter,

Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment for your seventh and final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please also note that you will continue as Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and will be expected to hold try-outs in the first week of term.

Furthermore, congratulations are in order for your appointment as Head Boy this year. The Head Students position is the most prestigious in the school and is awarded to the most promising male and female student of the school. The Head Boy and Girl are expected to undertake this mantle of responsibility whilst working in close cooperation with one another, setting an example for all students and representing the Hogwarts student body. Any abuse of power will therefore be severely punished and result in your badge being revoked.

You are asked to conduct the Prefects meeting in the designated compartment on the Hogwarts Express, after which you will report to Professor Dumbledore and I at school for further instructions.

Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall,

Deputy Headmistress

Sirius, who had been reading over James's shoulder, let out a great big guffaw, reading out bits and pieces of the letter in an incredulous voice: "Mantle of responsibility? Most promising student? Can you imagine the effort it must have cost old Minnie to write that out right under your name? Bet Dumbledore just wanted to see her mouth contort the way it did when we slipped that constipation potion in her pumpkin juice again."

James chuckled at that. Oh, good times, he mused. Then he started. "Hey, it didn't say who the Head Girl was!" he said, but Sirius was too busy mimicking McGonagall's favorite facial expressions to take notice. Just then another owl swept through the window, this time skidding in James's (now Sirius's) cornflakes. At this, Sirius let out a shout of indignation, but James shushed him.

"Look, it's Remus's mum's owl. Wonder if Remus got his letter too," James said, unrolling the parchment, "Let's see…"

Dear James, and Padfoot if you're there, which you probably are,

Got your letters yet? Glad Dumbledore didn't pin Head Boy on me, I practically begged McGonagall end of last term to spare me, these last two years feeling guilty about every prank we (or you two, mostly) played were bad enough. Wonder which poor old sod will get his bed infested with lice this year. Remember McLaggen and the time you two lined all his boxers with Wartcap powder?

Anyway, Prongs, Lily owled me just a couple minutes ago, she got Head Girl, as expected of course. She was wondering if I got Head Boy. Thought you might like to know.

When are you two heading down to London to pick up your things? If you're free this Friday, we could go together. Let me know and I'll owl Wormtail. Should cheer him up, he's been a right downer since Mary broke up with him.

Yours,

Moony

Only one part of the letter really registered for James, however. He turned slowly to Sirius, his mouth comically hanging open, and croaked, "She's going to kill me, Padfoot. I'm a goner."