A/N: Hey guys! So, this one was inspired by a prompt from jessielightyear. [: It takes place in fourth year and is in James' POV. You might notice that Remus is the only one who has their legit nickname, but that's because they haven't successfully become animagi yet.
This one is shorter than the other ones, but what I wrote was really all I felt was needed.
As per usual, I own not this fandom. Queen Rowling pwns all. I have not yet acquired the "pwn-all" skill and most likely shall not. And if I do, I still won't own it. Capiche?
Now, I will be the first to admit that our dorm room is typically an odd sight. Living with the Marauders wasn't something most people could deal with. There was usually something weird going on or some banned item lying around. However, I can easily see how today's scene would be considered very odd, even for us.
It was 9 o'clock at night and Sirius and I were standing in the middle of the room in our underwear.
You would think that there would be other people there at this time, but Peter was in detention and Moony was in the library doing homework. So, there we were, standing around in our underwear. To be honest, I wasn't really sure why we had to be in only our underwear, but Sirius had insisted it would help.
And, as if the scene wasn't weird enough, Sirius was reading. There's some people who don't even know he CAN read, yet there he was, reading. We had a bunch of books scattered around us as well, open to pages we thought would help us.
"Sirius, would you mind explaining to me exactly why we're in our underwear?"
Sirius looked up from the book he was leafing through. "I told you, Jamesie-dear, I read somewhere in a book that it's easier to transform if you're in your underwear."
"Wait, so we'll always have to be in our underwear to transform? That would get a bit annoying…"
Sirius frowned at that. "True. We can have Peter check the book I found it in. Maybe it's only the first few times. Ok, let's try this again. Point your wand at yourself and try it."
I did as he said, but nothing happened. I tried a few more times, failing each time. "You try it, Sirius. I promise to change you back if you accidentally transfigure yourself into a random animal again. Remember, transfiguration is different than being an animagi."
Sirius glared at me. "You better. Last time I was stuck as a duck for four hours! I still haven't forgiven you for that, you know." I laughed his comment off, waving at him to go.
Once Sirius had tried a few times (and failed), we both started looking through the books around us to see if there was anything that would help us. We kept trying giving each other advice as we found it ("Maybe try waving your wand around.", "Try to picture yourself as an animal.", "Don't forget to floss. Wait, this isn't a book about animagi!") Finally, after about fifteen more failed attempts, I spoke up.
"I feel completely ridiculous."
"You look it too."
I scoffed. "As if you look any better."
"Of course I do. I'm only the most attractive male in all of Hogwarts."
I decided to not crush his dreams (since that title obviously belongs to me), picked up one of the books next to me, and started looking through it. "Keep telling yourself that, Siri-pie. Hey, it says here that it might help if a friend says the spell. Apparently it'll help you figure out your animal."
Sirius looked apprehensive, but pointed his wand at me. "Ok, well, I'll transform you first."
"Oh, no. That's not going to happen." I pointed my wand at him too. "You're going first. That way I don't have to worry about you not turning me back."
"Bring it!" Sirius yelled. Both of us started preparing ourselves. We stalked around the room until we were lined up parallel to the door (It was a Marauder agreement that any duel would take place like that so that no one coming in would get hit by spells.). We were right on the verge of saying the spell when Moony walked in. However, he wasn't alone. Right behind him was Lily Evans, the girl of my dreams. Figures.
I turned to face them. Sirius was seemingly frozen in place. Lily's face was red and she was working really hard to not look at me or Sirius.
"Well, Remus," she said, "it looks like I should have waited in the common room. Admittedly, my reasoning was that one of those two idiots would infuriate me, but this is pretty bad too."
Remus took in the sight and shook his head. "Why can I not ever walk in to a normal scene?" he sighed, "Now, why on earth are you two dueling in your underwear? Please tell me you aren't trying to make 'strip dueling' a thing again. I told you guys it will never catch on."
That made Sirius and I realize how just how bad this situation was. Not only were we standing around in our underwear, but all the animagi books were lying around, open, just waiting to be read. Remus knows we don't usually read! This was bad!
"Oh, yeah, right, that's what we're doing. We thought we would figure out just how it works before we introduce it to the public and all, you know." Sirius stammered his way through that excuse while running around grabbing all the books and throwing them on Peter's bed.
I stood there, staring at Lily. Despite refusing to look at us, Lily seemed to realize that I was staring because she glanced over and glared at me.
"Stop staring, Potter. It's rude." I could hear the annoyance in her voice.
Sirius stopped picking up the books and turned to Lily, smiling.
"Well, then, flower-dear, wh -"
Lily interrupted him. "Don't call me that, Black."
Sirius ignored her comment and continued. "Why are you here if not to be stared at by us? Are you and Moony going to have some fun?" he said with a wink.
Lily finally got over her embarrassment and looked Sirius in the eye, glaring at him. "WHAT? YOU THINK THAT'S WHY I CAME UP HERE?" she pulled her wand out and pointed it at Sirius, "JUST BECAUSE I ACTUALLY TALK TO ONE OF YOU MAKES YOU THINK… THAT? YOU SICK MINDED PERSON!" Sirius threw his hands up in surrender, letting the books fall to the ground.
Moony looked as shocked as Lily, though without the anger. "Sirius, is that really all you think about? Lily and I study together. That's it." He shook his head in disgust.
"Ok, Evans, put that wand down before you hurt someone. Namely, me. I'd rather not get scars, I've heard they drive off about half of all women." Moony nodded to Lily and she reluctantly put her wand down. "Now then," Sirius continued, "why did you come up here?"
"If you truly need to know, Remus and I were studying and he mentioned that he has a book I've been wanting to read. I asked to borrow it and he told me to come up with him to get it."
"Oh." Sirius looked highly disappointed and shot a pitiful look at me. However, I barely noticed it, since I was still too busy staring at Lily. Moony walked over to his bed and started searching for the book.
"Here it is." Moony stood up with a book in his hand. He walked back over to Lily and handed her the book. "Let's go finish studying for that potions exam tomorrow." He turned back to me and Sirius. "You two, put some clothes on before I get back, will you?" I shrugged noncommittally. Moony sighed and turned back to Lily. "Let's let these two duel in their underwear like the idiots they are."
The two of them turned to leave when, of course, I had to open my mouth.
"Wait! Evans!" The two of them stopped and turned to face me, Lily's face full of annoyance.
"What do you want, Potter?"
I tried to think of a clever line, something funny and cute.
"Will you go out with me?" Oh, smooth Potter, choose the completely overused line.
Lily immediately opened her mouth to reply, but stopped. A small smile graced her face. Could I possibly have a chance? I leaned forward a little, anxious to hear her answer. She actually looked happy that I'd asked her out! Maybe she'll say yes this time!
"Please, Potter, stop lying to yourself."
"What?" The word slipped out of my mouth, my confusion evident on my face.
The smile on Lily's face grew into a satisfied smirk as she replied.
"It's obvious by your little display here that you're gay. It's ok. You and Sirius can have all the fun you want. But I will never go out with you, even if it's just to help you stay in the closet. Don't worry, I won't tell." She winked at me, waved at Sirius, turned around, and started walking out.
For a second everything was silent as we processed what she had said. Right as she reached the door, the room exploded with noise.
Moony's hysterical laughter was almost lost under Sirius' yells.
"HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY MASCULINITY? I'M MORE OF A MAN THAN ANY OF THESE OTHER LOSERS! GET BACK HERE, EVANS! HOW DARE YOU?"
Sirius' yells only caused Moony to laugh harder. He was laughing so hard he had to lean against the door frame to support himself.
I was left standing in the middle of our dorm room in my underwear, watching her walk away.
A/N: What did you guys think? Reviews make me happy! Also, if you have any prompt ideas for the next one, I would love to hear them!
For those of you who are waiting on a new Speak Now one-shot, I'm working on it!