This is it! The grand finale! Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it!
Shizuo smiled. Izaya couldn't have been more proud.
He had just finished with his last client for the day, and had quite a bit of leeway until his appointment with Shiki, in fact he had the whole afternoon to himself. Almost to himself, that is. He planned to share it with Shizuo, no matter how unwilling he was.
He was putting the next part of his plan into play, surrendering to his inner desires. He planned to channel all of his feelings into the brute, replacing any doubt or sadness that lived there.
Until Izaya was the only one for him, until the brute could feel the warmth of his love and accept it whole. Izaya was going to press on until the Shizuo felt safe and secure enough let go of his stubborn front and let love in.
It was a rather bold move, but Izaya was determined to make Shizuo see, so what better way than what he planned to do? He would reach him this time. Shizuo would see his love; he would see how true it was. He would see all of Izaya's truths for what they were and he would not be able to deny what his heart has been aching for so long. He approached stealthily, until he was directly in front of the blonde.
Shizuo's gaze focused on him warily. Izaya pushed his second thoughts aside and advanced, Shizuo retaliating by backing up – into the wall, he might add. Izaya relaxed his shoulders, crawling onto Shizuo's wheelchair, on top of him. And Shizuo braced himself, outstretching his arms on Izaya's shoulders to prevent him from coming any closer.
Izaya squirmed, trying to twist out of Shizuo's grip, but it was firm. Izaya pouted, grabbing Shizuo's wrist with his hands, he adjusted his posture until his knees were on each side of the blonde, straddling his hips. He tugged on Shizuo's arms to keep his balance, and possibly pull the brute closer to him, but with no avail, for Shizuo was intent on keeping his space.
Izaya gave up on the tug-of-war, nimbly slipping inside the gap between Shizuo's out stretched arms, for which the blonde responded by stubbornly attempting yet again to shove the informant off of him. Izaya squeezed with his lags, cementing him in place, so as far as he leaned back, his rigid back would prevent his gravity from taking control of his descent the farther he inclined.
It wasn't the first time, but he had overestimated himself, and that split second when he leaned too far, and his stiff back stopped supporting him and his flailing arms, winding like a windmill, did nothing to help him regain his balance, that Izaya was sure that he was going to smack into the floor headfirst. He was going to topple over with a lazy summersault until he was sprawled out onto the floor with nothing but a bruised ego and head.
But before any of his envisioned injuries come to be a reality, Shizuo snatches his skinny wrists, hauled him back into a sitting position, and released his grip once Izaya was safe in his lap once again.
"I should have let you crash onto the floor." Shizuo snorted, and Izaya could see the shock in his eyes, the surprise at what he had done, to actually help the man he continually tried to push away. He can see Shizuo's defenses cracking, any other day he would not have caught him.
Izaya grinned "But you saved me~" then his gaze darkened. "But I couldn't save you…"
An eyebrow twitched atop Shizuo's forehead. "What are you talking about?" he asked in mild confusion, caution settling into his brown eyes, all inner serenity vanished from the moment before.
The informant shook his head. "Forget it." He murmured. Detesting himself for spoiling the moment.
Shizuo looked down. Slouched and miserable despite the borderline happy feeling they had felt before. Izaya sighed, twisting his head so he could meet the blonde's bleak amber eyes. They looked at each other, sorrowful mahogany and distant russet, until Shizuo broke the peace once again, defiant and refusing to let it soothe the atmosphere Izaya was desperately trying to create.
"I know you're in there somewhere." Izaya told the side of Shizuo's head. Izaya snuggled closer, and Shizuo stiffened, bowing his head in submission, as if bracing himself to endure a punishment. As if he believed that the only reason someone would become close to him was to hurt him.
A part of Izaya's heart broke. "Look at me." He demanded in a whisper, shoving his face inches from Shizuo's. Lonely brown eyes gazing into his; and Izaya's heartstrings give a violent tug at the sight.
Coffee-colored eyes met his and Izaya nodded detachedly, a lump forming in his throat at how lost they seemed, the sheer defeat that ley in them. The informant laid his head on Shizuo's broad chest, listening to the steady thump of his hollow heart. "Better." He mused through narrowed eyes, "Apathy is not your style."
He sat up slowly as an idea struck, propping himself up with hands planted on each side of Shizuo's hear he looked the blonde square in the eyes, searching for some form of life, hoping for a connection to be made.
"Focus on me." Izaya breathed, watching the shadows flicker across Shizuo's eyes, the doorway to the soul.
He caught the blonde's eyes as they start to drift away. "Listen to me." He continued seriously, Shizuo observed him with dead eyes. Izaya noticed with a shudder that those dark eyes were transfixed on his lips; it was enough to send a shiver of thrill down his spine.
"No more." He offered a shy grimace, but it faded away almost as fast as it appeared. He let it die.
Catching Izaya unprepared, a single tear bubbled up from around those guarded orbs, silently rolling down Shizuo's cheek.
Another part of Izaya's heart chips off. Alarm erupts from under his skin as he fears another breakdown, but it does not come. Shizuo reaches up to brush it away with the heel of his palm, but Izaya is swifter, his eyes glazed as he leisurely drags the pad of his thumb across Shizuo's pale smooth complexion, catching the lone tear and feeling it's warmth sink into the creases of his thumb-print.
Izaya trails his thumb across the bridge of his nose, down his narrow jawline, eyes half lidded. He traced Shizuo's soft lips, pausing ever so slightly that it was almost unperceivable. He takes his thumb away and keeps his eyes down cast, ashamed that he could ever be foolish enough to allow such hope that things like that would ever come to be.
He thinks of all the pain Shizuo went through, alone in all sorts with no one that could relate to the turmoil that he was thrown into, and when he needed someone to stay by his side no one was. He tried to go so far by himself, when he needed somebody to help him heal, see him through; no one was there for him.
How he struggled alone, elapsed and lost in all parts of his mind and heart, and there was no hope of a dawn, because it is an impossible task alone. However, he is not alone. Not anymore. Izaya will undo all the loathing he has for himself and his handicap, Izaya will undo all the lies that he told himself, Izaya was going to help him change for the better.
Shizuo's hand is still raised, as if he had forgotten what he was going to do when he picked it up. His wide hand clasped around Izaya's, enclosing it for a tender moment, not daring to put any pressure on it out of fear of it shattering beneath his destructive hands. He releases it abruptly after a second thought.
Izaya ripped himself away from his thoughts and glanced up at Shizuo wondering and encouraging eyes. A gentle smile graces his lips, and though the words are unspoken, they both can hear it, feel it in the air around them. Go for it!
He glanced up at Izaya as if to ask for permission and Izaya granted it, answering by taking Shizuo's hand in his own, in a loose grip accompanied by a gentle squeeze. Shizuo's eyes are half-lidded and thoughtful; eventually he reaches a consensus and pushes all inhibitions aside.
Shizuo closes the gap between them and Izaya meets him halfway, meeting the blonde's soft lips with his own. A part of him is surprised that Shizuo made the first move, but glad to, because now they can move forward. The kiss is slow and comforting; Izaya breathes Shizuo's scent through his nose and wants nothing more than him at the moment.
The informant doesn't know if Shizuo can hear his pounding heart battering against his ribcage, all he knows, is that this was the first thing that seemed right since Shizuo started living with him.
There was no more of that negative sinking feeling in him, that every step was a step backwards, that every move was wrong and forced, it was a light and mellow feeling, a fidelity that Izaya would hold onto forevermore.
The placid moment spans seemingly forever and Izaya is lost in Shizuo, exploring every inch of his mouth, massaging gums and tangling with Shizuo's tongue in his mouth, hesitant yet yearning. He gives into it, feeling Shizuo's teeth against his and unconsciously wrapping his arms around Shizuo's neck to bring them nearer.
He feels the blonde's strong arms around him gliding down to rest on the small of his back, gingerly drawing him in closer and nothing feels more right at the moment than being with him.
They break apart, arms still wrapped around each other, savoring the feel of one's lips on theirs. Izaya rests his forehead against Shizuo's, lost in his kind yet complicated golden eyes, all shadows of doubt and brooding clear from them for the first time in a while.
Izaya laughs quietly, truly laughs sincerely, and it is light and musical in Shizuo's ears, and though he doesn't know it at the moment, Shizuo plans to hear it again sometime.
The blonde's face splits into an sweet yet irresistible grin, growing as Izaya calms, breaking through the hardened shell he tried so hard to keep up to protect himself. It was not a smirk, nor a sneer, an honest smile, breaking through all walls that held it contained. The smile is pure and the weight of his life altering events makes it shines all the brighter.
It is dazzling, and for the first time in moons, Shizuo does not feel weighed down by his experiences, he actually believed every word that Izaya had told him since he came, that it was all right, and he was going to help him get past this.
He could remember his accident, his dark times, for they were a part of him, and though he would never forget, maybe he could start letting go of all the self-hate festering inside. Let it slip away between his fingers, and it will not be missed, for the only thing to represent them would scars from a distant time.
They would have their ups and downs, as couples do, but at the moment all Shizuo knows is that he is finally free, not in all aspects, but his burdens were not so heavy and he was light and he got through this. His life was drastically changed and he survived.
He survived and even if he isn't better off, it brought him in Izaya together, enemies into friends, connecting them in ways unimaginable before his accident.
For Izaya, it is impending relief because all his efforts were not for nothing, he actually got through to the man, finally, and he accepted him back. That there was nowhere for them to go but forward, and Izaya would be with him every step of the way.
There were no more misgivings or uncertainty, no more feeling as if he was wandering in the dark, no more What if? Or what next? Only this moment, magical, perfect and beautiful all on its own and Izaya never wanted to let it go.
Shizuo moved his head so that he spoke directly into Izaya's ear. "I have made a decision," he breathed into Izaya's ear, "and I think I want to be with you. If you'll have me, that is."
"Of course," Izaya sung back in the same low tone, cherishing the moment, "I wouldn't want it any other way."
Fate has tied us together. Change is on the horizon, and it is for the better.