Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Story is, though!
A/N: …I like Genesis. And I like writing about annoying people. And I like Zack! And writing about Zack annoying people. So that is how this came about.
Dedicated to loveless and the living fantasy, who suggested that I write something sequel-ish to my 50 Things list for Zack.
P.S. Angeal is such a good mentor in this~ Despite the fact that Zack doesn't like it!
30 Ways to Annoy Genesis
Normally, on days off, Zack would go out with friends and have fun, doing normal stupid things that normal, stupid teenage boys did without better judgment. However, on this day off, all of Zack's friends were going to a bar in the slums that was well-known for being shady and full of girls wearing less clothing than Angeal thought Zack's eighteen-year-old eyes needed to see. Not to mention the fact that Angeal was strictly against Zack drinking anything alcoholic, whether his SOLDIER abilities made it completely ineffectual or not. And so Angeal decided that Zack needed to stay back at the ShinRa building.
Zack was ticked off.
Until he thought of something better to do.
And at the end of the day, Angeal found a very suspicious list on Zack's desk and hoped desperately that wherever Zack was, it was neither at a bar nor putting the list into action.
30 Ways to Annoy Genesis
By Zack Fair
First off, I'd like to say that this list probably should never be used, unless you're Angeal or Sephiroth (Because I think Genesis likes them enough not to kill them if they do any of these). Also, if you're Genesis and you're reading this, I was bored, okay!
Call him any sort of nickname. Whether it be "Gen", "Genny", or any other ridiculous thing you can think of. (All his nicknames sound girly)
Badmouth LOVELESS. I think this one is obvious. It'll get you killed.
Steal his copy of LOVELESS and hide it in your underwear drawer.
Repeat everything he says in a voice that is even more melodramatic than his is.
Attempt to hide under his cloak while playing hide-and-seek.
Tell him he looks like Sephiroth dyed red and with a haircut.
Tell him he looks like Gackt.
Find Gackt's fan club and tell them that Genesis is Gackt. Watch them chase him around for hours before you even think of responding to his pleas for help.
Announce to the entire ShinRa building that Genesis isn't really a natural redhead. Even though he is.
Call him in the middle of the night and ask if his refrigerator is running.
Tell him that you don't like Banora White apples and claim that regular apples are much better.
Claim that his sword is sparkly and thus girly. Well, the sparkly part is true!
Tell him that you saw a girl the other day who had his haircut.
Record him singing in the shower and blast it through the speakers in the entire ShinRa building the next morning.
Switch his coffee with Sephiroth's (he thinks black coffee is gross, but it's all Sephiroth drinks). Beware, this one may annoy Sephiroth too, and annoying Sephiroth is hazardous to one's health.
Ask him if he knows how to waltz. When he replies, ask him if he knows how to tango. Continue as such until you run out of dance steps to ask about. Then run.
Play Miley Cyrus music and/or Rebecca Black as loud as you can while in the car with him. He can't escape, and if you're driving, he can't kill you, because the car might crash!
Tell him that LOVELESS has been made into a musical even when it hasn't. He'll be happy about the musical, but really angry when he finds out you're lying.
Have an intervention for his LOVELESS addiction.
Write fake letters to him from Sephiroth, claiming that his endless quoting of classic literature and flipping his hair around is really annoying. Because Genesis was basically a Sephiroth fanboy before I was, that will probably tick him off.
Steal all of his Banora White apples and make smoothies with them. And then drink them.
Mix up where everything is in his bathroom. When Genesis wakes up, he's always half-asleep and so if he doesn't know where anything is, he's likely to end up with socks on his hands and gloves on his feet.
Take pictures of him at every given opportunity and claim that Lazard told you to do it.
Join his fanclub.
Let his fanclub inside his apartment.
Switch his apartment key with Tseng's. Everyone knows that SOLDIERS don't like Turks, and I'm pretty sure that goes for Genesis, too.
Go to see LOVELESS with him and then talk through the whole thing.
Claim he has a ton of stalkers and then get Kunsel to follow him around. See if it freaks him out.
Talk constantly around him (not that I don't do that around everyone).
Ask if he wears high-heeled boots so that he doesn't look so much shorter than Sephiroth.