(I don't own Hair, Rent or anything related to them but I thought this would be a funny concept, texts borrowed from )
"Chill out Roger, I thought you were dreading going and spending the night at your Uncles' house."
"I am, but that doesn't mean I want to be stuck here with no power, at least there we'll have some form of entertainment in the form of my aunts and uncles."
"So why are you dreading this so much?"
"Because my family isn't like yours."
"Oh you mean you guys actually get along? Roger don't worry so much."
"I'm not worried about them liking you or you liking them what I'm worried about is the amount of embarrassing stories that are bound to come out when they all get together. I didn't have a traditional upbringing like you or even Mark did, mine was bizarre."
"Roger there is something in everyone's childhood that they are a little embarrassed about, so you had a different way of growing up that's what makes you, you. All the crap you went through as an adult you went through it all with your family intact, some parents would have turned away, your's jumped up and helped you, supported you. For that alone I love them. You and I might not have always gotten along in the past but you have become this amazing person, maybe you were always this person and the drugs just brought out the rough side but I want to get to know you more as your mother's son and the nephew of so many people. I know this side of you; the loft dweller, the musician, the man that sometimes needs to escape to the roof in the middle of the night. I want to know the other man the one you were before the groupies, April, the drugs, even all the stuff with Mimi. Because that's who you are."
"I love you, you know that right." Said Roger.
"I love you too."
"Alright Muffy let's go, wouldn't want your hair to get all messed up in the wind."
"Oh Shut the fuck up, Mr. I dyed my hair for 3 years."
"I didn't dye my hair."
"Really so the blue hair the day I met you is what your natural color?"
"Are you staying here or coming with?"
The day before found Claude Bukowski relaxing in his apartment waiting for his partner to arrive home from the grocery store. For the last few days they had been hearing about a storm that was heading their way. When Berger had offered to do the shopping Claude gladly let him. It was a few minutes later that the door burst open and Berger bounded in.
"Okay I got the provisions we are set should we become stranded here and I also got enough for whoever comes along." Said Berger walking into the apartment with a couple bags and their little pull cart that they didn't use often but came in handy when they had to shop like this.
"What did you get?" Asked Claude putting his book down.
"Pot, beer, food, water." Claude didn't even bat an eyelash at the order of items.
"Did you get candles?"
"All they had were birthday candles."
"Berger, those aren't going to last long." Said Claude with a smile.
"I know that's why I got the big number ones. Hey it was either that or those religious candles and since the most praying we do is during sex I figured the birthday numbers were a better bet."
"I'll call Mom and see if she has extra just in case." Said Claude with a laugh.
"I found a flashlight earlier." Said Berger.
"We have a flashlight? How old is it?"
"I think we had it in the '67 blackout."
"Guaranteed not to work. Did you get lighter fluid?"
"Why we having a bonfire in a hurricane, I don't think the wood will light."
"Because your Zippo ran out on Memorial Day and we have nothing to light the candles with."
"Oh yeah I guess I'm going across the street then." Said Berger with a smile.
"I'll go." Said Claude putting on his flip flops.
"Okay." Said Berger with a smile. Claude was halfway down the hall when he heard Berger's voice filter out the door. "Shit! I forgot the zigzags!"
"Got it!" Claude smiled at the fact that their neighbors didn't comment on this exchange, they were long used to the couple's out loud musings that the other would respond to. "He gets the pot but forgets the papers. How did that happen?"
"I was busy buying emergency candles." Said Berger opening the door. Claude laughed and finally made it out of the building. He made it into the store and headed to the counter.
"Hey Sam, how are you?"
"Good, hoping this storm doesn't hit too hard, but on the other hand I'm glad it's hitting us at all."
"Good for business?"
"Yup, so what can I get you?"
"Uh, lighter fluid, papers, and some candles if you got them."
"Sorry clean out of the candles but the fluid and papers will be $5.38."
"Thanks for keeping us high Sam." Said Claude handing him the cash. It should also be mentioned that Sam kept the Tribe in pot.
"No problem, glad I could help, you guys having a party?"
"We'll see we never really plan to they just kind of happen, but it's better to be prepared and also I think our oldest is bringing his girlfriend by."
"Roger's got a girlfriend? What's this one like?"
"She's a nice kid, keeps him on his toes and doesn't take any of his shit."
"He better hang on to her those ones are keepers."
"I hear ya. Well thanks Sam."
Claude left the store and pulled out his cell phone to call his mother.
"Hi Claude, how are you Honey?"
"I'm good, trying to get prepared for this storm their predicting. You wouldn't by any chance have any extra candles?"
"I bought a ton just in case, you boys need some?"
"Yeah, that would be great all we could buy were the number birthday ones."
"Well those won't work for long. Me and your Aunt Hetty went to that warehouse store and bought a bunch of stuff. You and George come over and pick what you need and Daddy will drive you back later."
"Okay, we'll be over soon Mom. Thanks."
"No problem. Bye."
By the time he hung up the phone he had made it back to the apartment.
"Hey I'm back; we have to go to Queens."
"Mom and Aunt Hetty went to the warehouse store she said to come over and get what we need and Dad will drive us back later."
"All right let's go."
Berger and Claude made their way to Queens and were warmly greeted by Claude's mom Sylvia at the door.
"Hi Mom." Said Claude kissing her on the cheek.
"Hey Sylvia." Said Berger giving her a hug.
"Well come on in Daddy's in the living room I'm going to go check on dinner. You boys are staying, no arguments." Said Sylvia going back to the kitchen.
Claude and Berger went into the living room where Claude's dad was watching the news.
"Claude, George. Have a seat. This guy doesn't know what he's talking about it's going to be a rain storm that's all and your mother and Hetty finding that damn store was the worst for us all. Who needs 100 rolls of toilet paper? It's only the two of us here and Hetty and Gil next door."
"You know Mom, she likes to be prepared."
"Well take some of her preparedness home with you please. The garage is full and I fear your old room is next." Said Hal.
"My old room was full the day my nana realized I wasn't coming home. She'd been sharing a room with my sister."
"So are you boys going to be safe at your apartment?" Asked Sylvia coming into the room.
"Oh yeah, we'll be fine our place is made of solid brick." Said Berger.
"You know you can wait it out here if you want." Suggested Sylvia.
"Thanks Mom, but we'll be fine." Said Claude. Hal smiled knowing the boys had something in the works to wait out the storm he knew just by past experience.
"Okay, well dinner's ready come eat."
Claude and Berger ate dinner with Sylvia and Hal before heading out to the garage to get some more supplies. Sylvia was in the kitchen washing up the dishes when her phone rang.
"Sylvia! Some vagabonds are going through your garage I've already called the police."
"Oh, Hetty! It's Claude and George. Call the police back and tell them not come."
"Are you sure? They have flashlights."
"Hetty, call the police back. It's getting dark out of course they have flashlights."
"Fine but if they rob you blind I'm saying I told you so."
"Fine…Call…The…Police!" Unfortunately she was too late. They were already there.
"What?" Asked Berger turning around.
"I said freeze! What's that in your hand?" Asked the cop.
"A roll of toilet paper." Said Berger to which Claude couldn't help but laugh.
"Officer, this is my parents' garage. We're getting storm supplies." Said Claude calmly.
"Uh-huh likely story." Seeing that the cop didn't believe them. They did the only thing they could think of.
"MOM! SYLVIA!" Said Berger and Claude in unison.
"Oh dear. Officers there seems to have been a big misunderstanding my sister who lives next door called you guys not realizing it was my boys out here."
"There was a report of vagabonds in the area Ma'am." Berger mouthed 'vagabonds' to Claude. To this his response was 'she's 80 and nuts'
"Officer we haven't been vagabonds in years." Said Berger.
"Boys go inside with Daddy for right now while I straighten this out with them and HETTY!"
"You sure Mom?" Asked Claude.
Claude, Berger, and Hal watched from the window as Sylvia and Hetty straightened out everything out with the cops.
"So what happened?" Asked Hal.
"From what I gathered Aunt Hetty called the cops not realizing it was us in the garage." Said Berger.
"Then when they showed up Mom told us to come in here."
After about 30 minutes of the cops lecturing Hetty about calling in a false report she and Sylvia came back into the house.
"Boys I'm sorry for that all I saw was the garage opening and flashlights. I didn't see you come from the house."
"A 'who's there?' would have worked. Or sending out Uncle Gil." Said Claude with a smile.
"I've learned my lesson. Now when you boys are done in your mother's garage, come over to my house I have some stuff you can have."
"Thanks Aunt Hetty, but Mom's got more than enough for us."
"Nonsense, I've got tuna and all the canned goods."
"Okay. We'll be over in a bit." Said Berger knowing they'd never get out of Queens if they didn't.
20 more minutes in the garage at Sylvia and Hal's, the men went over to Hetty's and filled another box with stuff. Berger left a fifty on the counter as they were leaving. Just as they were loading the car Gil came out of the house.
"Wait minute Boys. I won't hear of this."
"What?" Said Claude. He and Berger knew this would happen. Sylvia came out at the same time.
"You aren't paying us anything." Said Gil.
"Gil please let us, just take it." Said Berger.
"No, we're family we help each other."
"Honestly Uncle Gil, we came for candles. We should pay you." Said Berger.
"No I won't hear of it."
"Alright we tried." Said Claude.
"Take this back too." Said Sylvia shoving the money into Claude's pocket.
"Ma, I can get it in myself thanks."
"Be safe, call when you can." Said Sylvia hugging them both.
"We will." Said Claude.
Hal drove them back to the city, and helped them bring everything upstairs.
"You okay to drive back tonight?" Asked Berger.
"I'll be fine; I'll see you boys later."
"Bye Dad, thanks."
"No problem." Hal made his exit and Berger looked at all the items they brought back.
"We went there for candles." He said simply.
"And we almost got arrested." Said Claude.
"Yeah, your aunt is something else Man. I love her and all, but vagabonds? Who would steal toilet paper and canned tuna?"
"She's nuts, what can you do?"
"I think your Dad and Uncle Gil are going to ban them from the warehouse."
"Aunt Hetty is probably banned from the phone until further notice."
"We could have used your mom's negotiation skills in the 60s."
"No kidding. I love how Mom talks to us like we're 5."
"And brothers most of the time, I think it's just hard for them sometimes. I mean think about it from our perspective with Roger or any of the kids really do you want to know who their screwing?" Said Berger.
"There you go then. She talks to us the only way she knows how. The way she's been talking to you since the day you were born. But something else is bothering you, what is it Claudio?"
"I'm a little irritated they would let us pay them for anything."
"Is that it, or the fact that your mom practically violated you?"
"Claudio they're old school, you know it would have just turned into an argument."
"I know, but still."
"Let's just put this stuff away and go to bed." Said Berger.
"Bed or screw?" Asked Claude smiling at him.
"Isn't it the same thing?" Said Berger hauling the 50 rolls of toilet paper to their coat closet.
A half hour later found the men in their room making out on their bed getting each other ready for more activities.
The next day the boys went about the usual activities before a party. The wind was picking up a bit and there was a knock on the door, which Berger answered. The men then settled in the kitchen while Claude was doing the dishes.
"Shit, it's picking up out there." Said Woof.
"Yeah weather guy said it should make landfall soon." Said Berger.
"Who's coming over?" Asked Woof.
"Whoever shows up? We have more than enough." Said Claude.
"And then some." Said Berger.
"How much shopping did you guys do?"
"A little, and then we went to Queens. For candles."
"You called your mom for candles?"
"Yeah, and almost got arrested in the process." Said Claude with a laugh.
"Well this just got a little more interesting, how?" Said Woof.
"Mom and Aunt Hetty discovered the joy of shopping in bulk. We were in the garage getting stuff, and then Hetty called the cops thinking we were vagabonds." Said Claude.
"In Hetty's defense we had a flashlight and it was kind of dark." Said Claude from behind Berger who was now sitting on his lap playing with his still long hair and pointing to him as if saying 'it's all his fault'. Berger didn't see Claude's gesture but Woof did loud and clear and had to hide his laughter.
"So how did you guys stay out of jail?" Asked Woof.
"Mom came out and saved us, the cops told us to freeze and this one stands up with a roll of toilet paper in hand."
"The cop got scared I was going to turn him into a mummy. Hetty got a 30 minute lecture about filing a false report and how 911 isn't a joke." Said Berger.
"Where were you guys when the lecture happened?" Asked Woof.
"In the house with 'Daddy' on Mommy's orders."
"She still talking to you like you're 5?" Everyone in the Tribe thought this was funny but Claude and Berger.
"Yup, Claudio also got violated." Said Berger.
"So after the cops left Hetty let us rummage through her loot from the warehouse and we tried to pay them. Mom tried to shove the fifty I left on the table back in my front pocket."
"How did you guys end up going to Queens in the first place?" Asked Woof opening a beer.
"We went for candles."
"And there we're any candles in all of Manhattan. Jail for candles only you two"
"No kidding, and nope everyone around here was out." Said Berger.
After they finished their first beers of the day the 3 men continued to set up and by the time they finished the set up and their 2nd beers Jeanie, Sheila, Sheila's husband John, and Crissy had joined the trio. Woof quickly filled them in on Berger and Claude's adventure to Queens.
"I would have brought candles had I known." Said Sheila.
"I thought you liked to be 'violated' Claude." Said Jeanie.
"By you guys, not my 75 year old mother!" Said Claude.
The group settled in the living room and then there was a knock on the door.
"I got it." Said Berger getting up. When he opened the door he saw Jeanie's son Roger on the other side with his girlfriend. "Hey Kid, come on in."
"Did everyone make it?"
"For the most part, your mom is in there."
"Great." Roger looked at his girlfriend and then pulled Berger away a bit. "I love this girl; please don't say anything that's going to make her leave screaming."
"I'm not the one you have to worry about your mom, Sheila, and Crissy are all in there on their 2nd glasses of wine."
"No." Said Roger whining a bit.
"Suck it up Kid." Said Berger with a laugh going back into the living room.
"Last chance to make a run for it." Said Roger.
"You and Mark broke the skylight last week we'll be lucky if your place isn't flooded when we get back, we're staying."
"I boarded it up yesterday."
"Roger you are a great musician but your handy man skills are much to be desired. Move."
"Hi Mom." He said giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Everyone." There was a general round of hellos from the group. "This is my girlfriend Muffy." Everyone laughed when Roger's girlfriend turned around and smacked him hard in the shoulder smiling the whole time. "Ow, what that's your name."
"My name is Alison."
"Hi Alison, I'm Roger's Aunt Sheila. And boy do we have some embarrassing stories to share with you."
"Aunt Sheila please I'd like to have a girlfriend when I leave here."
"Oh stop, I've heard enough from Collins, Mark, and even Benny that what they tell me won't shock me."
"I'm not talking about embarrassing stories about me; I'm talking about their skeletons."
"Are we drinking and smoking through this thing or what?"
"We're waiting on you Banana-Berger to start rolling." Said Crissy.
A race between the boys including Roger commenced to see who could roll a joint the fastest. Claude came out the winner.
"In my defense I have less experience than you guys do at this." Said Roger lighting his.
"Yeah tell that to the girl you got high with and lost your virginity to." Said Berger as everyone laughed.
"That's not what happened." Said Roger.
"What did happen? Cause we came home and the girl couldn't get out of Jeanie's faster." Said Claude.
"Well I had a talk with Rachael before she got out the door and she said that Roger told her she had to leave either out the fire escape, the front door, or hide in the closet while he talked to us." Said Jeanie.
"She chose the front door and I was grounded for two weeks for getting laid without Mom's permission."
"No you got grounded cause you were already grounded for skipping school and weren't supposed to have friends over." Said Jeanie.
"You skipped school? I'm shocked!" Said Alison sarcastically.
"Collins talked me into it; I just didn't know I was going to run into Uncle Claude in the process."
"Yeah, rule #1 of skipping school don't go near the places of work of the people you know." Said Berger. "That's why we used to go to the park."
A short time later Hud, Dionne, Angela, and Ben joined them and proceeded to play catch up in the how high, how drunk game.
"Who was it that streaked through Times Square?" Asked Crissy with a laugh. Everyone looked at Berger and Claude.
"She dared us!" Said Claude pointing at Jeanie.
"I told you to streak yes, not jump into a crowded restaurant and yell 'I'm free!'. They thought you escaped from Bellevue. I had to tell them it was a bad LSD trip. And I was 7 months pregnant to boot, chasing you guys all around."
"We were on pot only that day." Said Berger.
"And so it begins." Said Roger quietly so only Alison could hear him.
"I took Berger with me to the induction center." Said Ben.
"What happened?" Asked Angela.
"Told them I was a nudist and Berger was my lover."
"And they believed you?" Asked Alison.
"We showed up with no clothes on and made out in the lobby first then got into the main room and continued in front of this massive drill sergeant, then Berger got caught up in the moment and almost jerked me." Said Ben with a laugh.
"It worked, you stayed home." Said Berger with a smile and taking a sip of his beer.
"You slut, you. Good job." Said Claude tapping his beer against Berger's. Claude had already been at basic when this happened.
"I brought Jeanie with me for mine." Said Berger smiling at her.
"You're just happy I gave you a blow job."
"Can we please not tell this story?" Said Roger.
"Oh now you have to." Said Alison enjoying Roger's discomfort.
"She did give me a blow job, then turned to the sergeant and told him that only a wife would do that at 9 months pregnant. Then her water broke on his shoes."
"That was the night Roger was born." Finished Jeanie.
"They didn't recognize you from when you went with Ben?" Asked Alison who was now sitting comfortably between Roger's legs as they all were sitting on the floor.
"They didn't really see much of my face when I went with Ben, that and there was about a month between the two." Said Berger with a laugh.
"We were crazy back then." Said Sheila.
"We were young. We did what we thought was right. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't." Said Claude.
"Like the power." Finished Berger.
The group started moving around the apartment lighting candles and Berger and Woof moved the food in the fridge to the coolers.
"So what now?" Said Sheila now leaning on John's shoulder.
"Anybody got a draft card?" Asked Berger flippantly. Everyone laughed.
"I still have mine." Said Claude.
"You do?" Asked Jeanie surprised cause they usually ended up in the soldier's service record.
"Wanna burn it, better late than never." Asked Berger.
"Give me your Zippo."
"That a boy. Its 40 years later and you're not tripping but it's better late than never. Here you go Babe." Said Berger handing over his Zippo.
Claude dug his card out of his wallet and lit the Zippo slowly he moved his card to the flame and watched as it licked the card's corner soon enough the whole card was engulfed in it was dropped into a waiting cup of water.
"That felt good." Said Claude.
"Congratulations. And welcome to the club." Said Berger kissing him soundly on the mouth.
John had heard a lot the stories they had been telling for the better part of an hour but one that remained elusive was the story of how Berger and Claude met Sheila, and how they became what they were back then. He had no illusions about what they were or what they did, he had done his fair share of crazy things back then, but it all stopped when he and Sheila got married. They both had decided to leave that life behind them and remember the good times.
"There is one thing I'm curious about." Said John.
"What?" Asked John.
"How did you guys all meet? Like how did you three hook up the way you did?" Roger leaned his head down and covered his eyes in Alison's shoulder. Roger then felt Alison reach up and scratch his scalp while he felt her also laughing quietly to herself at his discomfort.
"Well I knew Berger from school." Said Woof. "I graduated a year ahead of him."
"I never graduated." Said Berger.
"The reason you never graduated is because you got expelled for never attending." Said Claude.
"That and the science teacher dropped acid and jumped out the window." Said Woof.
"We were on the first floor it wasn't as dramatic as you are making it sound." Said Berger.
"Yeah and then I had the same teacher cause he transferred to New York. They had parent/teacher conferences and this group never does anything other than all together they all showed up the teacher remembered Uncle Berger and asked him if he had any acid on him." Said Roger.
"I told him it depended on what he told us about Roger." Said Berger.
"I never had a better parent/teacher conference. He also gave me an A for the rest of the year." Said Roger.
"See I missed out on this kind of stuff cause I went to private school my whole life." Said Alison.
"Hey I did too, but once I got to NYU and met these crazy hippies who plied me with pot, LSD, and many other substances that I still can't name I was well on my way to society galas." Said Sheila.
"Aren't you happy you met me?" Asked Berger jokingly.
"Yes you saved me from a boring life." Said Sheila.
"So what stories can we tell that will embarrass Roger so he turns red?" Asked Dionne.
"You read my mind." Said Berger.
"No, you promised." Said Roger.
"I never did such a thing." Said Berger.
"How about the time we walked in and he was playing 'doctor' with Parker from across the hall." Said Claude.
"I was 6. And she showed me her I had to reciprocate."
"And you got to see it again at 16 only you got a little further that time." Said Claude.
"Yes I did. Until she met Collins."
"He wasn't out yet and hadn't really come to terms." Said Roger.
"So what happened to Parker?"
"She got pregnant in high school." Alison looked at him. "No, not mine or Collins we both broke up with her Jr. Year. She met this guy at a party started dating, got pregnant, and got married that year. She's still with him now right?"
"Yup they live in Utah. And have 2 more kids."
"Jeeze. She didn't waste any time huh?"
"Pop one out, put one in. Ouch." Said Berger.
"How about when he went streaking on the basketball court during homecoming." Said Hud.
"It was a dare." Said Roger.
"From who? Collins?"
"Yup he dared me to run out during the last play and make a basket. I just happened to be playing in the game when he dared me."
"He made the game winning basket with no clothes on and then ran to the locker room."
"Where I got reamed out by the coaches. They were all like what do you think your parents are going to say, you've embarrassed them and us. I smarted off and said that you guys would be proud, they then proceeded to get a week's vacation on the school." Said Roger.
"We were proud, so proud we pulled together money and sent him to Europe with Collins as a graduation trip." Said Claude.
"Where we continued the family streaking tradition."
"You were with him when he streaked through the Parthenon?"
"Benny didn't tell me that."
"I don't think Benny knows, Maureen and Angel know or knew but that's it."
"How do you know Angel knew?" Asked Ben.
"I always knew when Angel had dirt on me, she would just look at me like she was looking through me. That and it usually happened when Collins had a few too many the night before."
"Proudest moment for a mom is when she gets a call from a police department in a foreign country saying in Greek that her son is suspected in an incident of indecent exposure. I told them he was very decent and that he didn't mean to cause any trouble." Said Jeanie.
"They held us for 2 days and then sent us on our way with a promise to never set foot in the Parthenon ever again." Said Roger.
"So I see this whole streaking thing is a family tradition?" Asked Alison with a smile.
"Yup." Said Roger. "One I hope keeps going someday."
Everyone looked at him with sadness in their eyes at the fact that it will probably never happen.
"Oh don't get sappy on me please it could happen someday look I've already been here a lot longer than any of us thought I would, so stop with the sad eyes, and lets remember when Angel killed dogs for a living."
"Roger?" Exclaimed Jeanie.
"What? She knows Angel told her."
"Shortly after she went into the hospital, she called me and told me she was sorry she killed my dog, then started to giggle and then said that yappy little dogs like that were the devil incarnate, then I guess Collins walked in and asked her who she was talking to and then all of a sudden Collins came on the line and said she was on drugs and didn't know what she was saying, where I distinctly heard her say 'Yes I do, I killed Muffy's dog.' Then dial tone."
"I loved getting Angel's calls from the hospital, they were always good for a laugh, but she always called when Mimi and I were together, like she knew and just wanted to cock block me or something."
"So Alison mentioned your skylight being broken?" Asked Claude.
"Yes it is." Said Roger hanging his head.
"How did it break this time?" Asked Claude like he was asking a 5 year old Roger how he got the finger paint off the top of the fridge and then proceeded to paint the living room wall with it.
"Mark." A clearing of the throat from Alison indicated to the rest of the group there was more to the story than just 'Mark' and other people involved. "And Collins."
"And?" Said Alison.
"Maureen was there too."
"Thank you. Continue."
"We were playing football on the roof and I was passing the ball to Mark and he missed and the ball went through the skylight window."
"I'll come over Tuesday and fix it for you." Said Ben with a laugh.
"Thank you because the haphazard way he fixed it, means I'm walking into a flood later." Said Alison.
"Please tell me it isn't a sheet?" Said Jeanie.
"No I put wood over it."
"And plastic underneath it but over the metal table." Said Alison.
"Why do you like to get me in trouble?"
"I'm in hell if you're going to start teaming up with them against me."
"Then don't make it so damn easy babe." Said Alison.
"I try not to things just happen that way."
The group continued sharing stories including Berger's attempts at texting Roger which always seemed to come out inappropriate.
"Oh I got a text last Christmas from you that had to be saved."
"What text?" Asked Berger.
"And I quote "Just rolled a joint with wrapping paper…and you say I have no Christmas spirit. So when I responded questioning the text I get that was meant for your uncle and I meant gift. Yeah right."
"I got a text from Claude another time that Berger had strung himself up with lights as a present." Said Sheila.
"I got the same one I responded return to sender it's defective." Said Roger with a laugh.
"You guys are mean. That's a very thoughtful gift." Said Alison.
"Not the way you're thinking Babe. Berger was trying to get laid." Roger responded.
"I hate the auto correct feature it always gets awkward when I talk to Collins." Said Alison.
"Honey I told you that's not autocorrect that's Collins trying to get a rise out of you. You should read his and Maureen's texts they get scary."
A couple hours later the storm had started to die down before it finally blew over and that's when every one decided to go home and see what surived the 'storm of the century' which turned out to be nothing than a little itty bitty thunderstorm that happened to knock out the power for a few hours.
"If your place is flooded come back don't stay." Said Claude.
"You got it." Said Roger.
"Well I learned a lot we should do this more often." Said Alison.
"Baby we don't need to have a storm to embarrass Roger come over or call anytime I'll be happy to share, next time I'll even bring out the baby photos." Said Berger
"Noooo, Uncle Claude save me."
"Not a chance in hell."
"This was the blackout from hell." Said Roger.