For Yourself


A/N: Just a short Rachel/Jack story set sometime in season four, in a Water Rats world where Rachel didn't die.


The rain tumbled down onto the windscreen of Rachel's car as she sat parked outside Jack's house, in the dark, with warm salty tears forming in her eyes. Only minutes beforehand, Jack had said those three little words to her – "I love you". All Rachel could do was stand there, silently, quite stunned by his honest and heartfelt admission. She didn't know what else to do, except do the cowardly thing and leave. She was good at that – running away at the first sign, the first glimmer, of commitment.

Ruing what she had done, Rachel closed her eyes and sighed, only opening them again to look back over at Jack's house. The outside light was barely visible through the rain which was getting heavier with every second that went by.

"Oh shit, why do I keep on doing this to him?"

She made a quick decision to go back and see Jack, so she got out the car and ran quickly to the front door. After a couple of knocks, and a couple of seconds, a dishevelled looking Jack appeared, surprised to see Rachel standing in front of him, her clothes and hair slightly wet from the rain. Somewhat subconsciously, and without another thought, he opened the door further so that she could enter.

She turned around to face him after taking a couple of steps forward while he shut the door. Jack looked like he had been hit by a truck, the pain was so obvious in his blue eyes. They stared at each other for a while, neither saying anything. As the rain continued to get noticeably heavier and louder on the roof, Rachel walked towards him and, when they were only a few centimetres apart, she took hold of his hand. "I love you too."

Jack remained quiet, but a small smile soon appeared on his face. He was happy.

"I wanted to ignore how I felt about you because... because I was afraid," Rachel continued, speaking honestly, "I wanted to push it all away... push you away. But then I realised I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't do it to you or me. I had to..." her voice began to fade as her emotions started to get the better of her.

"It's okay Rach," Jack finally spoke softly, wrapping his arms around her. "You don't have to explain it to me."

"I feel like I do."

He shook his head, holding her tight. The sound of thunder crackled through the air and the lights flickered above their heads, causing them to both look up and then back at each other. "I think you should stay with me tonight." There was a small pause from Jack, before he added quietly, "And every night."

For the first time in a while, Rachel was content. Finally, after so long, she had done something for herself... and it felt good.