My first lemon! Be gentle! Any reviews would bring tears to my eyes.
DISCLAIMER: SM's characters, my plot, blah, blah, blah.
Full Summary: "I couldn't tell you how we met, or if I instantly fell in love. I couldn't tell you what he was wearing or if our hands sparked the first time that we touched." Will Bella ever get over her first kiss? What if things get in the way of her and her soulmate? The story of all Bella's firsts.
Edward Cullen was my breaking point. How you may ask? Well, let's start from the beginning…
When I was two years old I met Edward, and he was three. I couldn't tell you how we met, or if I instantly fell in love. I couldn't tell you what he was wearing or if our hands sparked the first time that we touched. To be honest, I don't remember not knowing Edward.
Our parents were quick friends and when we were baptized; our respective parents became the other's godparents. Carlisle and Esme loved me as their own. I would spend countless days at the Cullen's house. I would even have sleepovers, and sleep in the same bed as Edward.
From a young age I would walk around and tell people that I was going to become Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen. I believed it whole-heartedly. I couldn't tell if his lack of reaction was because he didn't agree or if it was because he was shy.
My parents ended up moving to Port Angeles while Edward's family stayed in Forks.
We would visit almost every weekend, but then it turned into every couple of months to seeing each other a few times a year, during birthdays and such.
I had several crushes through the years. There was Mike in elementary school, and Eric in middle school. I could go into detail about the few times that I saw Edward threw the years, but the story doesn't really begin until the summer before high school.
I still had this huge crush on Edward, but I wouldn't remember how huge until I saw him. He never had an awkward stage like I did in the second grade. He was always beautiful.
I remember the day because it was life changing. It was two days before high school started. Edward finally saw me in a different light; a good light.
I heard him tell his mom that he never realized how beautiful I was while I was listening in at the door. However, this was right after we had gone swimming and he had seen that I definitely wasn't a little girl anymore.
I knew that he had kissed other girls, but if I was being honest, I knew that I was waiting for him to be my first kiss. I knew that I wouldn't feel comfortable unless it was with him. I also knew that I didn't want to enter high school never having kissed anyone.
After I totally kicked his ass in pool, I sat on the pool table in their basement. We were totally alone. We both knew what was going to happen.
"You know I've never kissed someone before."
"Really?" he asked amazedly.
"Well I'm sure I've pecked a few people before, but not with…"
"Not with tongue."
I shivered and nodded as I saw him lick his lips. He put his hands on the side of me, resting on the pool table's ledge. He started leaning in and said, "It will be okay."
I didn't know what to think because suddenly his lips were on mine. I let out a gasp of surprised and enjoyed the moment. I was mentally screaming, "I'M KISSING EDWARD CULLEN! FINALLY!"
It was pure bliss. I was shocked by the foreign feeling of his tongue in my mouth, but it felt so good that I just wanted to keep going. He broke away first, and I could tell my lips were still forming a pout. He chuckled and gave me another peck.
"I'm glad I was your first kiss Bella."
On the ride home, I felt a little guilty and dirty. I kept reprimanding myself for not being responsive enough to run my finger through his messy bronze or to run my hands over his broad shoulders. I wished to live that moment over and over, and it was all I thought about for months.
That December I started crushing on Jacob Black. He was a year older, just like Edward. I never imagined that he would give me the time of day. We dated for about a month. He broke up with me because I wouldn't kiss him at school. I guess he thought I was a prude. He started dating Leah a few weeks later and from what I heard they had sex immediately.
Edward wasn't on my mind. I was so desperate to make Jake jealous that I made out with one of his best friends Seth right in front of him. There was no response. He started to make out with his girlfriend too. Then Seth started liking me, and I didn't want to go down that road.
At an end of the year party I was bored and made out with Tyler. I wish I hadn't. He bit me.
During my sophomore year in high school I was becoming restless. I wanted to be with somebody so bad, but there weren't many options at my school. I discovered internet porn, and relieved myself about once a day right before bed. What? It made me go to sleep easier.
Then one night I dreamt about Edward and his piercing green eyes. I decided to text him, and within the week we had planned to hang out. My parents went with me to his house. At this point Renee knew of my feelings somewhat, but surprisingly, she never said anything embarrassing.
Edward and I found ourselves alone in the basement again. I was sitting on the pool table again, and we talked for a long time. I don't know why we talked for so long because I just wanted to get to the good stuff.
Then it started. We started attacking each other. We rarely came up for air. When my lips left his it was to kiss and suck on his neck. When I heard him moan for the first time, it spurred something inside of me. I thrusted my hips against his, and tried to wrap my legs around his waist. When he started sucking on my neck I thought I would combust. We heard our names called from upstairs, and pulled apart slowly. We were panting heavily, and I didn't want to leave.
When we made it up the stairs my mom asked why my make up was smudged. I could have killed him for not telling me. He gave an arrogant chuckle, and I told her I got teary eyed because we had been talking about old times. He just nodded like an idiot with a smirk on his face.
We talked a little bit the next few months, but not a lot. I would occasionally day dream about him. It wasn't until Valentine's Day, that things started heating up again. He asked me to be his Valentine, and we went out on our first date.
We decided to be cliché and go to the movies. We held hands at first, but then he wanted to wrap his arm around me. I wasn't very comfortable to be honest, but I didn't say anything because Edward was holding me. I felt safe and at home. I didn't feel sparks when I touched him like people talked about. I felt nervous when he was in the same room, but never really calm until we were touching in some way.
He dropped me off. I don't know why I was suddenly shy, but I gave him a quick peck and ran into the house.
We only talked sporadically again through the next few months. But then, it was June. It was my birthday. I was only having a few friends go out together, but I invited him. He was always the only boy at a Barbie party, while I was the only girl at a Star Wars party.
Dinner was great and he stayed till three o'clock in the morning. I told him I would "walk him to his car" and my friends told me to have fun.
I blushed a deep red at my obvious intentions. We stayed on the porch for a while and talked some more. Then I realized he was about to leave. I looked down at the present that he had given me for my sixteenth birthday. It was a handmade bracelet that had "Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen" spelled out in beaded letters.
"Why so sad?" he asked.
"I just don't want you to go." I almost let out a cry.
"We will see each other soon."
"No we won't."
"Because. We always do this. We talk for a little bit, and then we won't see each other for months. I hate it."
"It won't happen this time," he said.
"How do you know?"
"We won't let it."
Then we were kissing again. That so familiar feeling that I could never get enough of. I wanted more. I wanted him to lift me and pin me against the wall. I wanted him to grind me into oblivion. However, he was the one against the wall. He grabbed a handful of my ass while I sucked on his neck. I just wanted to keep going, but as always he pulled away, and I watched him get into his Volvo and drive away.
I was right. We did go months without seeing each other again. We talked a little bit but not a lot. He got a temporary job at a carnival in October that was in between our two towns. I went to surprise him at work, but he of course had that day off.
It was coming on November and I knew I would be seeing him for his birthday. We were texting a lot that week. It was my junior year and his senior of high school. I really wanted to try and have a relationship with him before he left for college. I didn't want to say that I never tried to be with him. I told him my feelings two days before his birthday.
I like you
Do you like me like me?
What are we? In second grade? Yes I like you like you.
You don't know how happy that makes me. I can't stop smiling.
The next few days we talked about being together. I thought that we would be official on his birthday. He came over to my house and took me out to breakfast. I paid. It was the least I could do since it was his birthday. We chatted and even went to the park. He pushed me on the swings and caught me as I came down the slide. Then we went back to the house. He had never seen my room before, and my parents weren't home.
I had cleaned up just in case. I figured something would happen. I wanted something to happen. I even thought that maybe I would lose my virginity. I wanted him so bad.
However, I restrained, and gave him a peck on the mouth as he left and that was it. I was going to work, and then going to his house after to meet up with my parents.
I checked Facebook as I was getting ready for work. And that's when I saw it. The seven words that would shatter my heart. A blonde with big boobs name Tanya posted on his wall, "Happy Birthday to the Best Boyfriend Eva! ;) 3"
I didn't cry. I just texted him and said, Your girlfriend seems pretty.
There was no reply. I felt so embarrassed. He said he wanted to be with me. I didn't know what I did wrong. I couldn't breathe. I thought I was finally going to get everything that I wanted, but he led me on. The worst part was that she was actually pretty. When Jake left, I knew he just left for sex because Leah looked like a Gorilla. But Tanya was actually pretty.
When I went over to his house later, he was hanging out with his boys Emmett and Jasper. He didn't say anything to me.
They wanted to go get a lottery ticket because Edward was finally eighteen. When we got to the gas station, he didn't end up winning anything. We went to get back in the car. He always gets my door. And I mean always. He reached to get it, but hesitated. It was more awkward that he didn't get it, but I grabbed it and slammed it closed myself.
I let it fester the next few days and I became really angry. I decided to text him.
I know I didn't say anything earlier because it was your birthday, but I just want you to know that I'm really pissed.
Why? I knew he would play dumb.
You said that I didn't have any competition and that I was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen. But you have a girlfriend.
I'm just confused. I want to be with you, but I can't.
It turned out that Edward wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He wanted to fuck a bunch of people, but wanted to settle down with me eventually.
Well what if I didn't want to be the type that guys want to marry? What if I wanted to be fucked into oblivion, and moan like a whore?
I was mourning. I wasn't just mourning the loss of a possible relationship. I was mourning the future I had been planning for fourteen years. We were meant to be together! It didn't help that I couldn't stop think about having sex with Edward either. He had big strong arms, and piercing green eyes that would stare into mine lovingly as he took me. I wanted to be marked by him, dammit!
Why didn't he want me? I know that we didn't see each other all the time, but I had finally stated my feelings, and he had liked it! There was no going back; I was irrevocably in love with Edward. Suddenly, an idea came to mind. Now, I wasn't for stealing, but Tanya stole first. I was going to reclaim what was rightfully mine. If I wanted it bad enough, Edward could never say no to me.
Sure I may have seemed desperate, but I couldn't go through life without having been with him. I wanted him to be my first everything.
After a few weeks of depression, I decided to make my move. I drove over to the Cullen's house and snuck into his room through the window. He looked so peaceful sleeping, but to avoid feeling even more like a stalker than I already did, I gently woke him up.
"Bella?" he asked. His voice was groggy.
I had planned on attacking him with my mouth, but sitting in front of him, I couldn't help but start to cry. Silent tears poured down my cheeks, and Edward quickly sat up.
I heard him start to chant, "I can't, I can't," silently. I think it was more to himself than to me.
"Why?" I croaked out. "Why would you do this to me?"
He didn't have a real answer, and so he just repeated sorry over and over again.
It was then that I noticed that he was shirtless. I couldn't stop staring at his chest. He tried to lift my chin to look at him but I wouldn't budge. I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss over his heart. He let out a shuddered breath.
"I thought this was mine," I said keeping my head near his chest. I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes.
"It will be forever."
"But I want it now."
I gave his heart another kiss, but then I started kissing all over. I couldn't get enough of him.
He let out a moan as he said my name. "You should stop."
"Then make me."
I placed an open mouthed kiss to the place where his neck and shoulder met. "I can't."
I smiled a small smile. It was as I could do in my situation. I was going to get what I wanted, but would it be worth it?
When my lips connected with his, I knew the answer. Being with Edward would always be worth it.
He grabbed my head and held my face to his. Like I would ever pull away…
I started kissing down his body, and I could tell he was getting excited. When I got to his boxers, I looked up, and saw that his eyes were lidded. I rolled his boxers down. My eyes would have widened at his size, but I expected it. The boy was six and a half feet tall, and had hands that completely encompassed mine, so he was large, but perfectly proportioned.
I had always thought that the idea of oral sex was disgusting. I mean, they pee from the same hole. However, looking at Edward's lower region, I knew that I wanted to lick him like a lollipop. So I did…
I started with a small lick of the tip, and then blew cold air on him. He shuddered, and I was anxious to continue. I started from the base this time, and did a long lick upwards.
His moan went straight to my core making me instantly wet. I put my whole mouth around him now. He cursed, but I kept going. I sucked continuously, and hollowed out my cheeks occasionally for more suction. I knew he was about to come, so I tried to fit as much of him in my mouth as I could. I was going to take everything that he gave me tonight. He tried, to pull me off, because he knew this was the first time that I had done this. Instead, I squeezed his ass tighter with one hand, and massaged his balls with the other until hot liquid had seized going down my throat, while he said my name mixed with other curse words.
I released him with a pop, and whipped my mouth with my hands. Before I could even think another thought, I was flipped and on my back.
"You're so damn sexy." Then why didn't you pick me? I thought.
I was completely naked now, and he had my left nipple in his mouth. I arched my back into his mouth and let out a porn star moan. He started to play with my other nipple, and let out a chuckle.
"You have a birthmark on your nipple."
I felt a bit self conscious. How does one respond to that? He grabbed my face, and placed a peck on my lips.
"I like it."
I didn't think I would be able to blush after what I had just done to him, but I was very appreciative of his compliment. Then his lips made a similar descent that mine made on his body. I tensed a bit. I trimmed, but I wasn't completely bare. What if that freaked him out? What if I tasted weird?
I didn't have time to question anything for very long because he touched me and we both moaned.
He put his head near my nether regions and mumbled something along the lines of, "So wet."
I responded with, "Only for you."
I could see him cringe. I realized my mistake. He obviously wasn't only hard for me, but I was just speaking the truth.
He didn't let my comment deter him though. He quickly latched onto my clit, and I let out a squeal of surprise. "So good," he mumbled around my pussy.
I ran my fingers through his locks, and before long I was thrusting my hips into his face.
I didn't care if I seemed like a whore. I couldn't get enough of his talented mouth.
It seems like my vocabulary is limited to just his name now. Well that, and noises that sounded like I was choking. I think he could tell I was going to scream because as one hand vigorously played with my insides; the other reached up to cover my mouth.
Before I finished, his finger slipped into my mouth. I sucked hard on it, but when the most intense orgasm of my life hit, I couldn't help but bite it.
I could tell it hurt Edward, but he just kept licking me like I was water in the Sahara until the oasis was completely dry.
I was shaking, and Edward leaned up to give me a soft kiss.
His naked body was hovered over mine, and he was caressing my cheek.
I grabbed his cock, and lined it up with my entrance. "Are you sure?"
I was always sure with Edward, even if he wasn't sure with me.
I nodded my head, and he slipped inside me.
That wasn't so bad.
"I'm only a quarter of the way in." I guess I said that out loud.
"Just tell me to stop and I will," like I would ever do that.
"Just do it."
He pushed all the way into me, and it felt like I was burning. I quickly pulled his face to my neck so that he would kiss me there and not see my tears. I was in the most pain that I had ever been in.
"Move," I croaked out. I wanted him to do anything to make the pain subside.
Suddenly the slow burn of pain, turned into a slow burn of pleasure. The foreign feeling of having him inside me was overwhelming. I knew if I told him to go faster that I would be sore for weeks, but the masochist in me begged for it.
"Are you sure?"
Our quiet moans filled the room.
"I'm close Bella, are you gonna come with me?"
"You're so fucking hot…" he trailed off.
Our hips were meeting at each thrust, and he was rubbing my clit with abandon. He wanted me to come with him, and that we did. We came at the same time, and when I nearly screamed his name, his lips crashed down on mine.
We both rode out our orgasms. I was spent, and Edward laid his head on my breasts. His unruly hair was crazier than usual, and was tickling my chin.
I spent a minute enjoying the moment, but then I remembered what brought me here. I lightly pushed him off of me, and began getting dressed.
He pouted. He didn't seem at all concerned about his actions. Then I turned toward him.
"Me or her," I challenged.
"I…" he stuttered.
"Not quick enough," I said as I hopped out his window.
"Wait!" he nearly shouted. "What can I do to prove it to you?"
"I'm sure you'll figure something out…" I said as I swayed my hips back toward my car with as much dignity as I could muster.
What do you think? If I get enough interest, I may continue, but for now this will be a one-shot. REVIEW :)