A/N: If you couldn't tell, I'm quite in love with Calvin, but there's just so much there... eventually I'll do more with Andre and his family as well, but Calvin is my favorite between the two. I do know of one story/drabble piece I will be doing for Andre though. Maybe I'll write it tomorrow. Not that anyone cares, haha. Oh and this is the final chapter, but I will be doing a sequel/part 2. ^_^
May 1st, 2001
They had been sitting there for nearly an hour after the news had been broken to them. The two of them couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't believe what the officers had told them. It hurt knowing that their son wouldn't ever be walking through those doors again—and Pam desperately wished that she would wake up and see him walk towards her and her husband—but what hurt the most was knowing why.
Calvin had always been a sweet child, the sweetest child they had ever known. He had always been quiet and a bit shy, but when he smiled it was like the world just lit up with him. That boy had been Pam and Steve's first child and he would always hold that special place in their hearts but along with their love for him there was now confusion.
Had those officers been telling the truth? Neither of them wanted them to have been telling the truth, but a part of Pam just couldn't deny it because why would they lie about something like that?
Their son was dead and… he had killed himself after killing twelve others?
That didn't compute in their minds and in their hearts, not even a little bit.
"What… what are we going to tell Eric and Madelyn?" Steve asked his wife, voice quiet as he leaned back in the seat next to her. He was staring straight ahead, mind racing a thousand miles a minute.
"We can't tell them what those police officers said until… until we know for sure. W-we'll break the news that he…" Pam covered her mouth with her hand, not even the feel of her husband's arm softly wrapping around her being a comfort. "B-but we cannot say that to them."
"They'll learn eventually, Pam." Steve replied softly, not really disagreeing with her words though.
"I know but… they couldn't possibly understand it, Steve. At least until… until they're old enough. W-we can say that Calvin, that he…" Pam let out another cry, holding her head in his hands. "How could they both… how could they do something like this, Steve? Didn't we raise Calvin to be a good person? Where on earth did we go wrong?"
Steve swallowed tightly, wiping at his own face, shaking slightly. "I-I don't know, but the Kriegmans… they're probably feeling exactly like we are. People will be pointing fingers at all of us enough as it is, so let's promise not to blame Andre or his parents, alright?"
Pam gave a few small nods, agreeing with her husband's statement. "I don't blame them. Andre seemed like such a good boy too. Calvin was always so happy to have a friend in him. There was nothing… no hints or anything that something was wrong with either of them."
"Yeah…" Steve stared down at the table in front of him, not wanting to speak anymore.
Both of them fell silent, the ticking of the clock the only sound between them. Every so often, the green numbers on the microwave in the kitchen changed, but neither of them said anything.
Finally, Pam stood up and walked out of the room. Everything felt weird, different as she walked through the halls of her house and into her eldest son's room. Looking around, she saw how empty it was. She frowned. Where was all of his things? His posters, books, games, and CDs/DVDs?
Calvin didn't like it when she entered his room without his permission and so had taken up to cleaning his own room in the last couple of years as well as doing his own laundry so that she never had a reason to go to his room. Pam hadn't been in there in a couple of weeks, and the last time she had been in there, it had looked like a normal teenage boy's bedroom.
This room looked like it belonged to a prisoner or patient it was so plain and empty. Where were all of Calvin's things?
Biting down on her lip, Pam took a seat on her son's bed, staring at a picture of him and the rest of the family on the desk across from the bed. Calvin was beaming, his face so happy. Was that all just a ruse on his part? But it couldn't be… how could Calvin be faking that?
She ran her hands over his bed sheets, picking his pillow up. Blinking at the sight case, she picked it up. The CD was blank, not giving any hint as to what it could be. Standing back up, she walked out of the room and to the household's computer. Logging on, she slipped the disk into the drive, feeling her husband come up behind him.
At once her son's face popped up on screen, and she felt herself choke up, her husband's hand squeezing around her shoulder.
The blond gave a small smile at them—the camera. "Hey mom, dad… I'm guessing you found this… or you might be the police having checked my room for anything, either way…" The police? Pam wanted to close her eyes at what that meant, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. "I'm going to speak as if I'm speaking to my mother and father, so if it's the police, could you please at least let them see this if they want to? They didn't do anything wrong. They don't deserve to be punished for what I did."
Pam shakily covered her mouth. "Anyway, this is my own personal goodbye. Andre and I made another tape where we say a lot of things, but I wanted something purely for the both of you. Andre doesn't know about this but I don't think he'd mind even if he did." The blond swallowed tightly on camera, glancing down.
"I don't… I don't want either of you to blame yourselves, okay? This… what Andre and I have done has nothing to do with either of you. It has everything to do with everything else, but I love both of you, okay?" She felt Steve slowly lower himself into a chair next to her, and she grabbed his hand, squeezing.
"This was something I had to do though. All my life, I felt this… I've been depressed for as long as I can remember and I never knew why. The only time I wasn't was when I was hanging out with Andre, and that's because he's like me. We have the same thoughts, the same ideas… we're the same, and do you know how rare it is to find a friend like that? Its fucking rare."
"Depressed?" Pam swallowed tightly, not really taking that word in. Not understanding what it meant. "Calvin was… depressed?"
"The two of us clicked right away when we first met. Somehow we just… knew that we were meant to do this with each other, and I don't feel guilty. If anything I am more sure than ever that what we're about to do was the right thing to do for both Andre and I."
"How was this the right thing?" Steve asked, staring at the image of his son on the computer screen, knowing that he wouldn't be getting an answer.
"I don't blame you if you hate me. You can burn my pictures, do whatever you want to my things, just don't blame yourselves okay? You both were two of the only good things in my life. You were brilliant parents and I couldn't have asked for better." Calvin tilted his head slightly, staring into the camera lens on the video.
"It's not your fault your son was a psycho—and I know I am one. I won't deny it, but I did this for you and for everybody else in the world. Someone needed to give humanity a wakeup call. Andre and I… we just decided to take it upon ourselves. It's nobody's fault except ours, okay?"
"Not okay, Calvin…"
"I love you both… goodbye."
The video ends, and Pam and Steve only felt more hurt and confused than before they had watched it.