If it Hadn't been for love

'Love hurts you,

deserts you,

But we still come back for more

Why do we fall?'


"Where is he?"

"Sit." Happy stared at her as she stared back at him with defiance. He knew that she wasn't going to do this the easy way but then again when did she ever. He pushed the chair opposite him with his foot. "Sit." He demanded, his tone giving her no room to argue even though he could tell she wanted to.

He watched as she dropped her bag to the floor as she grabbed the chair forcefully dragging it back, creating more of a gap between them. She crossed one leg over the other and folded her arms across her chest, positioning her body at angle. She was closing herself completely off from him, the walls that years of pain and hurt had created were well and truly up. She was on the defensive and Happy knew it.

Liv looked around her small apartment, it looked clean, to clean considering Tyler had been home alone, she didn't like it, didn't like what it could mean. She ran her hand up and down her arm as a shiver ran through her body.

Kozik had been right when he had told her that Happy had changed, that he wasn't the same man he was 9 years ago, but she wasn't stupid she knew he would have because she herself had changed it was inevitable. But it wasn't until she lay beside him in bed, her eyes looking over the some of his new artwork that she realised exactly how much he had changed. It was like a slap to the face.

When she'd left he had one lone smiley face, identical to the one on her wrist. She knew what his smiley face symbolized, she knew because he had done it for her. But now there were another 7 smiley faces tattooed on his skin and she wondered what those 7 people had done, if they to had deserved it or if Happy had finally stepped into the darkness that threatened so many times to take him over.

"You gonna look at me?" Liv shrugged as her eyes finally left the living room and wondered to her leg where she was mindlessly playing with the rip in her jeans.

"Depends you gonna answer my question?" Her hand stopped playing with the rip as she focused all her attention onto him. He could see the fury in her eyes. "Where's my brother Hap?"

"He's where he needs to be."

"Where he needs to be." She shouted as she got to her feet.

Happy watched as she shot up from her chair almost knocking it over. He reluctantly pushed himself from his own chair and stepped into her path, his hands wrapping around the top of her arms.

"Let go of me." She snapped through gritted teeth as she tried to shrug him off, but he kept hold of her. Again she screamed for him to let go but he didn't relent. "Happy let go, your hurting me. LET GO." She kept fighting against his grip. When she finally realised she was getting no where she stopped. "I just want to know where he is." She asked tiredly.

"Do you trust me?" Happy asked as she just stared up at him, her eyes moving over his face.

Even given their current situation and all the shit that had gone on Liv knew this question was a no brainier. Not matter if it was wrong or right everything Happy had done for her in the past was for her own good, to protect her. It had taken her some time to realise that but when she finally did she gave him a 110% of herself which meant trusting him completely.

"I've always trusted you. Always have and always will." She shrugged as he nodded.

"I can't tell you where he is, but I ain't killed him." She never answered but he did she her nod her head slightly. "Now you gonna sit back down?" He asked as he let go of her. Running her fingers through her hair she walked back to the chair and sat down. Happy looked at her before disappearing into the kitchen.

Liv sucked in a breath, she felt like she could cry. She had gone through about every emotion possible today. Happy, angry, sad, scarred all of them and now she was mentally exhausted but she knew they still had a few more things to discuss, this morning being one of them. Sniffing back her tears she pulled the brown envelope from her bag and lay it on the table just as Happy returned with two beers in hand.

Happy sighed as he took a seat. Pushing one beer towards Liv, he glanced at the brown envelope before looking at her.

"Why?" She asked before taking a large swig of her drink.

"It's the right thing."

"Right thing for who? You or me?"

"Both." Happy pulled out his cigarettes and lit one, inhaling deeply. He offered one to her which she accepted.

"I guess I can understand that. But what the hell was last night about? I mean I didn't know what to expect from it but waking up alone to find these was a shitty move Hap."

"And not hearing from you in 9 years wasn't?" Liv laughed taking a drag of her cigarette.

"Fair enough, guess we've both done some shitty things."

"I didn't come to the house for that." Liv raised her eyebrow at him.

"Right, so ending up in bed with me never crossed you mind." She saw him smile as he pressed his beer to his lips. "Exactly."

"You wanted it."

"That's neither here nor there." She waved her hand in front of her face before stubbing out her cigarette. "So you want a divorce, you want me to sign these?" She pulled the divorce papers out and lay them on top of the brown envelope as her face suddenly became more serious.

"How long we known each other? 14-15 years?" Liv nodded. "And in all that time all I've ever seen you do is look after people. Your Mom, Tyler, the Club even me."

"Your point?" She asked defensively.

"My point is when have you ever just sat back and looked after yourself, done what you wanted."

"And what about you. Don't tell me you came here for shits and giggles, you came here for me to clean up my mess. So before you start lecturing me I think you should take a look at yourself." She watched as Happy took a drink. "We do what we do because we want to protect the people we love. I tried doing it on my own and look where that got." Happy slammed down his beer.

"That's because Tyler got you twisted up in his bullshit." He shook his head. "We're getting completely off track here." He took one last drag of his cigarette. He stubbed it out in the ashtray before leaning forward his arms resting on his legs.

"So your not about to tell me that Darby has been dealt with?" Happy never said anything as he looked up at her, and she didn't need him.

Happy ran his hand over the back of his head before getting to his feet. He closed the gap between them and caught her chin with his finger as he tilted her head up to face him. "I can't make you sign them that's up to you but you should go and live your life. Your free Liv, there will be no heat from any of this." He bent down and placed a kiss on her temple as his thumb rubbed over cheek. "I always be there if you need me."He rasped softly his breath tickling her cheek. He kissed her one last time and pulled away.

He was about to walk away but Liv caught hold his wrist. He looked back down at her as she looked up at him. Remaining silent she stood up and moved closer to him so that their bodies were touching. Keeping her one hand on his wrist she moved the other hand to the back of his neck as she pulled his head closer to hers. She placed a lingering kiss of his lips before resting her forehead against his.

"No matter what I want you to know I have always loved you." She felt his hand on the side of her face, his thumb rubbing over her cheek again, god one day that was going to kill her.

"We've gotta do this right?" Liv shrugged in her eyes they didn't have to do anything, but this was Happy he didn't do anything for no reason so if he was doing this, letting her go then she knew it was because it was something he'd really thought about. That's why she said nothing she had already been selfish enough now it was her time to grow up and give him what he wanted.

"I've gotta go." He said as he pulled away from her. Liv nodded as she watched him leave.

She walked back over to the table and grabbed her bag off the floor. She rummaged around until she found a pen buried at the bottom. Sitting down she pulled the papers towards her. She took a drink and turned to the first page. Scanning over the page she found her way to the bottom where she found herself staring at his name Happy Lohman along with his signature. Removing the cap off the pen she found the line across from his "I still love you." She whispered to know one but herself as she signed her name.

So that's the end of this story guys I hope you've all enjoyed it.

This story had been an idea floating around in my head for a long time so I finally decided to just get it out, more for me than anything else but I was surprised with the response this story generated, which is why I started toying with the idea of a prequel, delving into how Happy and Liv became Happy and Liv. Then maybe a sequel because I know this isn't the best place to leave it. If that's something you are all interested in reading let me know.

I do want to say again a big thanks to all the people who have read this story and added it to their favorites and alerts and also all the people that took the time to review.

Thanks again

Becca xxx