Oh bollocks, I thought, when I heard the familiar sound of Jacob's voice calling through the trees. How come he always knows how to find me?

'Nessie! Nessie, wait up!'

I wondered whether there was any point in running. I was quick – one of the few perks of being a dhampyr – but he only had to change into his wolf form to catch up with me. He'd probably think it was a game, a hide and seek, as if I was still only a couple of months old. Mind you, back then he couldn't stay away from me either.

Stupid dog, I thought, hoping fiercely my father wasn't anywhere around.

Oh, wait, I'm sorry. I'm being terribly rude – it's what living with people who can read your mind does to you. You forget sometimes people don't know everything you think, feel, want, etcetera. Allow me to introduce myself: Renesmee Carlie Cullen. My friends call me 'Carlie', at least they would if I had any. Instead, I'm stuck with my family calling me 'Nessie', because apparently, Renesmee is too difficult a name for them and no one came up with the wonderful idea of calling me by my middle name. No one except me, that is, and the one time I proposed it, I heard: 'But why would you want that? Carlie sounds like Nickelodeon name, Nessie.'

Well, I'd much rather have a Nickelodeon name than a monster name! Who calls their loved one 'Nessie'?

My parents, apparently.

And so does my 'lover', although I personally prefer the term 'stalker'. Whenever I mention that to him, he just laughs and pets my head and tells me he loves me so much. Very frustrating.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, my parents. Like I said before, I'm a dhampyr, which basically means I'm a half-human, half- vampire hybrid. My parents, known as Edward and Isabella Cullen, are now both vampires, but I was conceived before my mum was sired. Lucky me.

So, yes, my parents were a sparkling vampire and a mortal girl. That sounds strange, but it gets worse. Aforementioned Jacob Black is a 'werewolf', who imprinted on me before I was born. Now, for those of you who don't know what imprinting means: imprinting is when a werewolf sees a chick and decides, 'I love her' and continued to stay with you for the rest of eternity, filled with happiness, love and joy.

Or, you know, stalkerishness. But since his love for me is so 'real', I'm not allowed to complain. How anyone can not see this as messed-up is beyond me. How is this different from the arranged marriages people always call so old-fashioned? Just because my arranged husband (not married yet. Although it is discussed) loves me more than life itself, doesn't mean I have to like him back, does it now?

No, it doesn't. In fact, he's not even my type, but does anyone bother to ask me about it?

No.

Everybody just tells me how fortunate I am to have found the love of my life (or rather, existence. I'm not even a living creature, for fuck's sake) before I could even talk! Because it's great to know that the boy who is following you, fancied you when you were just an infant! That's not paedophilia, it's true love!

And just when you thought things couldn't get weirder in my life, the sparkling vampire that is my dad can read minds.

And that is every bit as awkward as it sounds.

I mean, I'm a sixteen-year-old girl. I have been for a couple of years now, and with sixteen-year-oldness, there are hormones, even with us dhampyrs. And with hormones come the things my father calls 'naughty thoughts'. He tells me I shouldn't have them about others than Jacob; Jacob might be hurt if he found out I thought about others.

So, yes, I'm not even allowed to think what I want. And my father knows I fantasize about Robert Pattinson. A lot. And he doesn't even have the decency to ignore it, no, he goes out of his way to tell me that it's not meant to be, because Jacob is the one for me.

Fuckheads. Both of them, I tell you. If your sex fantasies aren't your own, then what is? I'm glad my parents are such Mormons that they won't let me have sex before marriage, though; it means Jacob has to wait until he's put a ring on my finger before he can get dirty with me. Problem is that wedding might be closer than I originally thought. At least, I saw mum leafing through bride's magazines and I doubt she and dad are getting married again, since last time was only a year ago.

(Yes, my parents remarry once in a while. To each other. Don't ask.)

And now comes the shittiest part of the entire everything that is my life. Because not only do I not fancy Jacob and do I have fantasies about Harry Potter actors, there is someone I have got genuine feelings for. That person is my (not-biological) aunt, Alice.

It's awful, because I can't think about it when I'm at home – my father would find out. I can't tell Alice either, because my father would find out. I can't tell anyone else either, because I haven't got any friends; they're all intimidated by my 'big brothers' (like my dad. Don't ask). And even if I did tell someone at school, my father would find out in no time.

Thank God for the internet, anonymous chat boxes and laptops. You wouldn't believe how much time I've spent in the woods chatting to strangers about my issues.

It was something I'd been planning on doing today, seeing as for once it was dry in this sodding city of Amsterdam, but that didn't work out, as you can see. Even in the middle of nowhere, Jacob sodding Black still manages to find me.

Bollocks.

I closed all the open programmes. I hoped xxShygirl92xx didn't feel too insulted I'd just quit on her. But although it would be very funny to see how Jacob would react, I felt this might not be the moment to tell him I was planning on ditching him for a girl. When he got… upset… he had a habit of exploding into a giant wolf and as Emily Uley showed, you didn't want to be around werewolves when they were angry. It could very well end nastily.

'Nessie, there you are,' he said, suddenly materializing in front of me. Damn, that dog was fast. 'I've been looking all over for you. What are you doing in the woods?' He came to sit next to me on the leafy ground and wrapped a hot arm around me.

'Black, sod off,' I said. For the millionth time I wished he wasn't Jacob Black; what was the point of having a boy by the name Black, with a motorcycle and the ability to turn into a giant dog, if he weren't Sirius Black? Why did the Goddess have to give me this lousy equivalent of one of the coolest imaginary people ever?

I'd even settle for a different kind of werewolf. I'd always had a soft spot for Remus Lupin.

And Tonks. Oh, so much for Tonks. But that's probably because she reminds me of Alice so much, with the way she's always happy and optimistic.

Hmm, Alice…

'What are you thinking about?' Jacob murmured.

Another thing about my life: people don't talk. They murmur, they mutter, they whisper, but no one ever says anything in a normal tone. To undo this a bit, I usually shout a lot, but really, someone needs to make up for all that silence.

'Sod off,' I repeated, louder this time. 'I'm doing my homework.'

'Do you want my help?'

'No.'

He grinned. 'Nessie, you're hilarious. C'mon, want to see who gets home first?'

'No.'

His face fell ever so slightly, but he came back with renewed energy almost immediately. 'My sixpack is an eight-pack again! Do you want to see?'

'No.'

'How was school?'

'No.'

'That's not even a "no"-question!'

'No.'

He laughed and kissed me on my cheek. 'This is why I love you so much, you're so funny. I've to go home, sure you don't want to race me?'

'Yes.'

'I could stay, if you wanted me to,' he said, rubbing his hot hand along my arm. 'Would you like me to stay?'

'No.'

'Won't you be lonely here, all on your own?'

'No.' It was a good thing this was something I had got used to; the first times it had been very tiring, but one learnt to block him out entirely.

'If you want me to come, all you have to do is call.'

'Okay.'

'You know, maybe I should stay, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages…'

Oh GOD. 'Don't bother, please. I'm sure you've very important things to do at home, I'll see you later.'

He contemplated this for a moment, then nodded and got up. 'I love you, Nessie,' he said.

'Okay.'

'More then life itself.'

'Okay.'

'You're a miracle.'

'Okay.'

And then he left.

Thank God.


A/N Since I myself can't stand Jacob Black, I was always wondering what Renesmee would think of this 'true love' crap. There might be more chapters; I feel like a short fanfiction about her will keep me warm in these cold times (when 'Say you don't want it' doesn't do the trick). I love hating, after all.