Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
AN: Gender swap sex ahead.
Puck kind of hates being sick. It's not even the throwing up, or the fever sweat, or even the sore muscles, it's just the lack of energy to do anything. But Judy's little bug lasted a week, and Puck hit the five days so he's looking for the recovery to start soon. Judy felt so bad about getting her little Quinny sick that she let him stay off school after Quinn brought him home that first day. And Quinn had been right, the shower made him feel less disgusting, although he threw up right after it, and then Quinn stayed to cuddle with him in bed until Judy came home and Quinn explained things.
And yeah, being home is nice; he gets to sleep a lot, and Judy is pampering. He spends two days on the couch, watching television in between throwing up and sleeping. Rach and San call but don't stop by and Quinn comes over twice to snuggle with him and tell him all the stuff he's missing. Apparently, Rachel slapped Louise for trying to cop a feel of the guns. Puck laughs until he pukes.
He has the sense to be back in school for the first football game of the season, because Coach S. would kill him if he wasn't there for the squad. He only feels a little queasy, but the fever broke a while ago and he's managed to mostly keep his soup down that day, so it's all good. Quinn keeps shooting him glances from on the field and Puck can't help but watch her play, because she's good. It's hot as hell. And Puck genuinely gets the appeal of the football uniform, he does. San nudges him when he gets a little too caught up staring at Quinn, and Britt giggles at him after drawing a little heart in the air.
"Are you doing okay?" Rach hangs back with him and San after the game while the guys get changed; they won the game, of course they did, because Beiste knew what she was doing, and Coach S. wandered off in some rage fuelled rant with Becky at her side taking notes on something. "No more sickness?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little tired really." Puck never really understood why he got tired after spending so much time in his fucking bed, because he barely did anything all week. "You coming along to the party with us?" It was the first proper party of the year, and really, they couldn't not go. Quinn was sort of looking forward to it since it was her first party as one of the guys and Puck just wanted to have some fun, after a week of puking.
"I don't know, isn't it just footballers, Cheerio's and their girlfriends or boyfriends?" Rachel shot a slightly hesitant look over towards where Liza was standing, because Finn hadn't wasted time in getting over Rach and Rach was doing that whole 'trying not to show it hurts' thing, even though they all sort of knew Finn and Rachel weren't going to last with an expiration date anyway.
"Well, Q has Puckerman, and I have Ave, so you can go as one of our dates and if anyone says anything, Puck can toss them in the pool."
"I know he's missing physical violence just a little." Truthfully, Quinn was getting far too eager to exert physical violence in Puck's opinion, but she just smiled and shrugged when he brought it up. "C'mon Rach, you can even let loose a little, cause I'm driving." Puck wasn't ready to face Quinn's alcohol tolerance, or her lack of one, while still on antibiotics for this infection. So he was actually being responsible and playing designated driver for the night. Of course he was only willing to drive San, Ave, Rach and Quinn –and he was aware that he was hanging out with girls way too much, but the only other option for him was Hummel and really, he didn't see a difference there.
And Rachel does let go at the party, Quinn heads in with them but sort of gets lost somewhere with the guys and Puck's totally cool with that, he just chills with Ave, who he sort of has a good few common interests with (including their One Tree Hill fascination that they don't share with Rachel and San) so it's cool to hang out and chat while they have fun. His first party as a girl goes rather well, although a hand ends up on his ass and Quinn does throw two people in the pool –neither of them are Finn.
Rach and San are doing body shots off Avery when two arms wrap around Puck's waist and this time he knows it's Quinn without needing to check, because no one else is likely to try anything now. He can tell that Quinn's a little bit drunk, but she's also a bit annoyed too, so he doesn't say anything just then, just placing his hands over Quinn's wrists and leaning back.
It's another shift between them. Because Quinn would usually just blow up and let it all out, while he'd bite his tongue until it came to a head and then he'd let rip, usually with physical violence. So now he's the one that bubbles with whatever he's feeling almost all the time and she's holding things in and he needs to make sure that she doesn't fall back on his old habits and actually resort to violence, because he would hate himself if she ended up in juvie because of his stupid decisions from a year ago and her inability to control the abnormal reactions. He sticks close to her for the rest of the night, and it seems to help her.
"Quinn, isn't it a better idea to drop Santana off after me, because you'll be driving back out here when you're going home." Rachel isn't that drunk that she doesn't spot the weird way that he's driving everyone home. Logically, after dropping Avery, it'd be smarted to do Santana, Puck, Rachel and then Quinn. But he isn't intending on going back to the Fabray house, and Judy is aware of this, because his Ma and Sarah are out of town and he kind of wants to spend some time with Quinn.
"I um, I'm staying at Puck's house tonight." Quinn's still sitting quiet in the passenger seat as Rachel leans forward behind them and Puck would note that Quinn's hand is just sitting on his thigh like it belongs there. No one had commented about it anyway.
"Oh," Rach seems unable to form a single coherent response to that, so she sits back and Puck can see her worrying her lip between her teeth in the rear view mirror. "You um, you take care of her, okay Noah?" Quinn just snorts, but there's a smile on her face.
"She's just sleeping over, Rach, nothing is happening while she's not feeling well."
"Oh, right, okay." Puck wasn't aware that nothing was going to happen, because he didn't feel that bad anymore. It did make sense though, if he was feeling remotely queasy it was a bad idea. Throwing up in the middle of having sex might put a serious cramp in their relationship. "Goodnight, thanks for inviting me."
Santana is less oblivious to the fact that Quinn hasn't let go of Puck's thigh the entire drive, so when she gets out of the car she sticks her head back in to remind them to play safe and have a good time. Puck can feel himself blushing the whole drive home. Which feels a little strange.
He pulls up into the drive next to his truck, where his Ma's car would usually sit, and follows Quinn up to the door and then inside. Being back inside his own house is comforting and strange all at the same time, because nothing has changed, but it feels like it's not his anymore. Because he's so used to Quinn's house maybe, or just because it's not him standing there. It's too much to really think about. Especially as Quinn silently takes his hand and pulls him up the stairs to his room, closing the door behind them and just moving to wrap her arms around his waist to pull him against her chest. He's figured out that something happened at the party, before Quinn came to find him and the girls, someone must've done something or said something that got to her and she's still figuring out what to do with it.
Puck gives her the time to deal with it, stroking along the back of the mohawk and just standing there with her. He knows there's no point in pushing for anything, because he won't get anything, so letting her get there and say it in her own time is the best thing to do.
"How're you feeling?"
"Fine," he's mostly been okay, just a roll of the stomach on occasion, but it's just a little queasiness that always goes away. "Are you okay?"
"I will be." Threads a hand in his hair, tugging his head back and sealing their mouths together in a harsh, desperate kiss. Puck doesn't get the chance to comment on it or try to control it or even to really return it before Quinn's pulling down his spanks and panties and directing him towards the bed. It's not what he's used to, really, the way Quinn just pushes her jeans down, pulls his leg up and thrusts into him. There's a small flash of pain at the roughness, but Quinn's teeth graze over the juncture of his neck and suddenly the roughness isn't a bad thing at all.
He can't really do much more than clutch to her shoulders and try to keep pace, but even that's difficult when Quinn doesn't keep to an actual rhythm. It's just quick, hard thrusts and then she slips a hand between them to get him off. Which is equally rough and Puck's half jerking away from it and into it as the pleasure spikes and rolls through him. Quinn grunts into his shoulder, stilling after a few minutes and gasping against his neck. He has no idea what brought it on, but he doesn't comment at all.
It's careful way clothes are removed afterwards and the soft way Quinn kisses him, like she's making up for what just happened when she really doesn't need to. But Puck kind of doesn't mind the way her hands run over his body, or the way she follows the trail with her lips, soothing every part of him until she places this gentle kiss over his heart. He doesn't get it, but he figures it's something Quinn's going to come out with on her own, and he's okay with waiting until she's ready for it.
He's perfectly content to cuddle into her, and from the way she wraps herself around him, he's fairly certain she needs it a little.
When Puck wakes up, Quinn isn't in bed, she's in the kitchen. He has no idea what she's trying to cool but one sniff of it and he's darting for the bathroom, because it is vile. She comes upstairs, probably when she hears him retching everything he ate last night into the toilet bowl. She's there with a glass of water and a toothbrush when he finishes and Puck doesn't turn his nose up at it.
"What the hell are you burning?" Quinn's a little sheepish as they head down into the kitchen, she's just in sweatpants so he doesn't feel at all bothered about just being in one of her shirts. There's something bubbling on the stove and Puck fights down the wave of nausea at the smell again, flicking off the gas and covering his nose and mouth with a towel. "Oy, Quinn, this is worse than when Sarah tried to grill a weasel." And that hadn't gone well at all.
"I was trying to make something nice for you. I followed everything the recipe said and it still ended up like that." Seriously, he doesn't want to know what the hell she might be trying.
"Quinn, babe, please never ever cook for me." It's sweet, in this disgustingly horrific smelling way, that she'd even attempt it with her track record of cooking. But he'd rather not have food poisoning to go with the bug he's getting over. "Okay, what're we doing today?"
"We are vegging out here. Ruth isn't home until forever, so it's just you and me until four in the afternoon and it's not even nine yet. We have ages before we even need to get dressed." Spending Saturday in a shirt, curled up against her chest on the sofa was pretty much the greatest way to spend the morning.
He heads home around three, Quinn kissing him against the door frame for fifteen minutes sort of hindering that attempt to begin with and they plan a date for the following night. He gets a text message from Finn randomly that night and just frowns at the phone for thirty minutes, sitting on Quinn's bed. It's the first time Finn had sent a text to Quinn. Puck has been in her body for two months and it's the first time 'FINN' has flashed on his new message screen.
"So, if an ex-boyfriend who's just gotten out of a relationship with your best friend texts you to ask 'how're you doing' with a smiling face and a kiss at the end, what does that mean?" He goes with Santana on this one, calling her before he even thinks about replying to Finn's text.
"Are you serious? Hudson is playing that game?" Puck's not sure, but he thinks that Santana is referring to the game that Finn seems prone to pulling; the one where he always goes after the girl he can't have. Puck's used to that, he has a tendency to fall for the girl he can't have, Quinn was the first one, Rachel for a while, maybe, Lauren to an extent. But Quinn was the biggest example since he fell for her while she was Finn's and even after sort of getting her he never had her.
"Pretty sure he is. And last night, Puck was a little, well, off."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'm not saying- I don't," it's hard to explain Quinn-as-Puck to anyone really, but even he knows that the sex last night was different, there was something to it that Quinn couldn't get without well, whatever she felt she needed to do. "He wasn't rough, but there was definitely a hint of needing to prove something." Funnily, Puck doesn't mind talking about this with Santana, because Santana knows enough about him to get it, and she knows Quinn well enough to get it. And Santana knows sex, so she's probably his best bet at trying to understand what the hell is going on right now.
"You know, I heard that something happened. Sam mentioned something to Aretha, Finn was running his mouth or something. Liza left early and I'm pretty sure she's given up on getting Hudson." Great, so Finn was being a douche and Quinn probably heard something and now they've got other peoples drama to sort out.
"Great. If tomorrow night's date with Puck goes horrific, can I count on you to go over and see him?" Most girls probably wouldn't encourage their boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's to sneak into their house at night to talk about their current relationship, but Quinn might need to get something off her chest and Santana would be the safest bet for 'Puck' to rant at.
"Sure thing, Q. And then I'll go castrate Hudson." Sometimes, Santana is just awesome.
Puck texts Finn back on Sunday morning. He keeps it short, vague and fairly distant. Just a simple 'doing good and have a busy day see you at school' type thing. There are not smiling faces, no kisses, no anything. He's not stupid enough to get caught in some trap with Finn. He honestly can't tell what Finn's game is, but he doesn't mention anything to Quinn, choosing to just ignore it and enjoy their date.
Which doesn't go badly at all. Whatever funk Quinn was in, she seems fine. They go out for pizza and then to the movies and Puck spends the whole time with his fingers laced through Quinn's. He's not sure if he needs Quinn to know that he's trying to be supportive of whatever it is that's going on, or if she'll just need the contact to figure it out herself. Either way, it feels good. Even though things go well, he still texts Santana to ask her to drop by to see 'Puck' and check-up.
It's not that he's nervous, or even all that worried about them. Because it's fairly clear to him that whatever it was that bothered Quinn, she wanted to reassure herself that she still had him. And Puck knows all about using sex for that.
He still tracks down Sam first thing on Monday morning.
"What the hell did Finn say to Puck on Friday night?"
"What? Nothing. He didn't say a thing." Puck isn't convinced and it only takes raising one eyebrow for Sam to figure that out. "Okay, he didn't say anything to Puck, but he might've said something that Puck overheard." What Puck is having a hard time working out is why Quinn got worked up about whatever it was that Finn said. Because sometimes Finn is just an idiot and says stuff and Puck just goes with it; Finn's called him names without meaning it, implied he's a whore without realising it, insulted his family and not noticed and it's just something Finn does. Finn has no brain to mouth filter and Puck got used to that when they were ten.
"What did he say?"
"Why do you care?" Okay, so now Puck had to work on Sam as well with his Quinn issues. Great. "The great Finn Hudson is chasing your skirt tails again, is it any wonder Puck's a little moody?"
"Okay, Sam, I know we've got issues and I know I messed up. I'm sorry. What happened between us was unfair and not your fault and you can hate me if you really want. But come on, you and Mercedes are great, she gets you and I think that's what you need. I didn't bond with your siblings and I wasn't all that interested in your geek stuff. So could you please just look past that and tell me what Finn said that –wait, Finn's after me?"
This is like another mental stumbling block. Because yeah, Finn is the kind of guy who swings between his girls. If he's not after Rachel he always seems to sway back to Quinn. It's like he can't make up his mind who he wants more or whatever. But it's not an option anymore, because Rachel dumped Finn, Quinn and Rachel are friends now, 'Quinn' is in a relationship and Puck has no intentions of dating Finn while pretending to be Quinn anyway. So why the hell would Quinn get upset about this? She knows that whatever happens Puck's not even going to touch that. Unless she's wishing she were herself right now so that she could actually get back with Finn and that just makes Puck feel a little sick again.
"It was just some comment he made, okay. He said that you were just killing time with Puck, that things weren't serious and if he wanted to, he'd get you back easy." Considering everyone was under the impression that him and Quinn were like solid or something, it's weird that Finn thinks he could just snap his fingers and get Quinn back. Except is it? Quinn wanted Finn over him in Sophomore year; hell, Quinn wanted Finn over him before that, since she knew that both he and Finn were interested in her at the start of Freshman year and she picked Finn. So really, Finn has a track record of getting her.
"I have to find Puck."
"So you're at least going to dump him rather than cheat on him?" And maybe Quinn deserves that, but he doesn't have time to get into things with Sam.
"No, so I can smack him up his stupid head and convince him Finn's full of crap." And if Quinn wants to throw a discrete punch that no one will hear about or see, he's okay with that too.
Somehow, it's lunch before he sees Quinn. He's already talked to Rachel and Santana before then and that involved a meeting in the girl's restroom. Santana felt it was important to fill Rach in and Puck just went with it because Rachel had to have the most level head out of all of them.
"So, you and Puck did have sex on Friday night?"
"Yes, we did, can we skip that part and talk about the fact that Finn seems to think he can snap his fingers and I'll come running?" He honestly doesn't know what's pissing him off more. Finn thinking that Quinn will jump back into a relationship with him (he dumped her at a funeral for crying out loud), Finn thinking Puck and Quinn are just 'fooling around' or Finn honestly thinking that Quinn would just ignore her friendship for Rachel just to get back with him.
"He's deluding himself. Come on, Finn still think he's the star football player, when he's not. Mike's gotten more field covered this year than Finn, Puckerman's totally holding his own and Sam deserves more time as QB just to show Finn he's not all that. His lack of attention to Rach just sort of shows how blind he is. Like she's happy to just be with him or something." Santana apparently, is not holding back. "But seriously Q, this is messing with Puck. It's not like with you and Louise, because you and Finn, you've got history."
"I'm not leaving Puck for Finn. I'm not."
"Does Noah realise this?" Rachel's been really quiet on the whole thing which he gets, he does, but he could really use a little more than Santana's suggestion of taking Puck against the piano in the choir room during glee.
"Shouldn't he? We've been together a month and a half, we've been, y'know,"
"Fucking, screwing, bumping uglies, making the beast with two backs, humping,"
"Thank you Santana." Puck misses her vulgarity sometimes, "But yeah, we've had sex, it's a big thing, he knows that."
"Not really, not to Puck. He's a bit of a slut, Q. And you know I don't mean it in a bad way, because I'm kinda like that myself. But sex isn't the same to him as it is to you."
"Noah needs more than physical reminders. It's strange, but what you say actually has more effect on him than what you do." And it's weird, but he'd never actually thought of it that way. Did Quinn think this wasn't as big a deal to him because he was just the guy who had sex with whoever? Did Quinn think he didn't consider this relationship as important because he'd have sex with anyone really? It sort of made sense in a weird way, and he figured that maybe what she needed was actually something out of character from him.
Which is why, when he finally sees Quinn, crossing the floor in the cafeteria to join them at the glee table, he doesn't really think twice about it. Quinn's hunched over, fists in her jean pockets, shoulders slumped, head down. He knows that look because he walked like that after Quinn told him that she was lying through her teeth for as long as possible about their baby. It's dejection and shame and fear.
Santana smirks at him as he gets up from the table, Rach just gives him this nod and a smile and Puck ignores the rest of the group –Quinn is actually the only one not there. Mike and Tina and Artie and Britt all sit at the far end, Finn and Sam and Mercedes are down one side, San and Rach were beside him while Kurt, Blaine and the fresh meat sat at the far end. Quinn looks up at him as he just walks over and kisses her, right in the middle of the cafeteria. It's automatic for Quinn's arms to wrap around his waist, for her to lean into him and take the control and he just lets her, melting into her chest and pushing his fingers through the short strands of hair at the base of the mohawk.
"I love you," their foreheads are pressed together and he just whispers it against her mouth, "forget about Finn and whoever and whatever is going on in your head. I love you and whatever happens with our situation, that's not going to change." Her arms tighten around his waist, pulling him closer before she catches his lips in another quick kiss and then moves them backwards, heading to the glee table.
No one says anything, even though almost the whole school witnessed it, and Rach and San move up so that Quinn can sit and Puck practically perches himself on her thigh. He does see the frown from Finn, and he does she the half proud and half forgiving nod from Sam, but all he's really bothered about is the way Quinn leans in, presses her lips to his throat and murmurs the words back against his skin.
Take that, Finn Hudson.
"What're everyone's Thanksgiving plans?" They got past Halloween a week ago, so Rachel believes it's okay to start on Thanksgiving. Puck would like to just get through his first major test in French, thanks very much. Either way it doesn't matter; Quinn explained that they don't do Thanksgiving anymore because of her Dad and his lack of being involved and how Judy sort of hates it anyway and Puck hasn't done Thanksgiving since his Dad walked out that day almost ten years ago. They're half planning to spend it together anyway.
"Mom's looking to do some weird dinner thing with my cousins and aunt, they're driving in from Columbus," Santana doesn't look overly pleased. "If that bitch asks just once, why I can't just be straight, I'm gonna stab her with my fork." While Santana's mother has been supportive of her choice to come out as a lesbian –because dudes just aren't doing it for her at all, her mother's sister isn't so keen.
"You can come over to my place if that happens. Daddy keeps asking me about you anyway, it'd be cool." Avery seems to have a more stable home life, she calls it boring, but most of the time it seems like something a few of them wouldn't mind at all. Her Dad is some kind of car dealer and her mom is a dental hygienist. Simple, plain, boring if you're Avery.
"Well, Dad and Daddy are hoping to take me to Chicago."
"Weren't you just in Chicago?"
"Yes, but Aunt Gertrude has these theatre tickets," Puck doesn't feel bad about zoning out, playing with the food on his plate and just letting Rachel's voice wash over him. It's not like he's keeping track or anything, but Thanksgiving would mark him and Quinn's four month mark on body swapping. It'll be their three month dating anniversary on the Saturday after Thanksgiving –he knows this because Rachel's pointed it out to him twice and Hummel brought it up four times in the last week.
People keep asking if Puck has anything planned for them and he's not sure if he's supposed to take care of that or if Quinn is. Logically speaking, he's still the guy, but Quinn seems far more capable at the guy stuff when it comes to this –probably because she's really the chick and knows what the chick should want. It's this stuff that still gets to him. He's mostly over all the other stuff; the hair and make-up, the size difference, the classes, the cheerleading instead of football, the house and family swap isn't as frustrating as it was. But trying to figure out their roles based on gender is fucking difficult and giving him a headache because he is a guy but he's technically the girl.
Quinn doesn't exactly help, because she just sort of does whatever she wants and that is usually just something he rolls with. But she hasn't mentioned this whole 'anniversary' crap –seriously, three months is nothing, why aren't they waiting for the year? It just distracts him the whole day.
"You okay?" Quinn's driving him home that week, because Judy's car took a bump and bust it's exhaust and she's using Quinn's car. So they're driving around after school in the truck and Puck actually feels a little lost in his own truck. It's crazy scary how used to being Quinn he's becoming.
"Yeah, just thinkin' about some stuff." Quinn glances at him warily. Since he told her he loved her, and she told him, three weeks ago, they've not really had any issues. Things are simple, Finn isn't interfering, Louise isn't being a snotty little bitch. Well, Louise is being a snotty little bitch but Puck-as-Quinn is way better at it and the junior has no hope of ever competing. "Hummel keeps asking about our three month anniversary."
"Oh that, yeah. Rach practically cornered me to interrogate me about my intentions."
"What are our intentions? I mean, is three months a big deal? Are we doing anything? Thanksgiving is like right before it, should we just ignore it this time and wait for the six?"
"You think we'll make six months like this?"
"Like this?" In each-others bodies? He really, really hopes not. He's not sure why they're even in each-others bodies in the first place, but whatever it is, he hopes it's done and gone by the time they hit six months. "I hope not, but it's always a possibility."
"So you think we'll make it to six months?"
"Do you plan on dumping me before then?"
"Then I think we'll manage six months, and probably more." Quinn gives him this smile, because he has to face facts, even if he was in his own body when they hit six months and even if Quinn decided she didn't want to have sex anymore, he'd still be in love with her and he'd still want to be with her so really, why would they break up?
"What's one thing you miss about being a guy?" It's a pretty random question considering what they were just talking about, but maybe it's just Quinn's way of changing the topic, so he just goes with it. "And don't say sex."
"Why would I say sex? You have sex with me, like, all the time." And really, he's not bothered about who's on what side of it now; at first, sure, it was a little strange, but chicks' bodies are totally awesome and he's pretty down with it. Quinn seems pretty on board with the guy role in sex too, it's possibly because of the control or just because she can let go and not worry, Puck isn't all that sure if he's honest but he'd place money on the control thing. "I miss, guy sports." Quinn gives him another look, just glancing across before turning back to the road. "Like, cheerleading is great and all, but I miss baseball and contact sports and stupid things like paint ball and night golf."
"Well, what if we didn't do a soppy anniversary thing? What if we, well, what if we went paintballing? I've never done it, you're meant to be organising it. It could be fun." Puck can only grin at her.
"Seriously? I will give you a shmoopy, soppy romantic six month anniversary for this. Like, totally."
"You don't need to. I mean, Finn did the romantic stuff, and it always felt forced and unreal. I like how we don't feel like that. It's like, it's genuine." Mostly because he's always felt something for her, and yeah, he's pretty sure if he broke out the romantic stuff it wouldn't feel fake for her. But he'll keep that in mind for when they get back to normal and he can actually do that stuff for her. "So," they pull up outside the Fabray house, Quinn putting the truck in park but not killing the engine meaning she's not coming inside, "how about I get everything set up, we keep it quiet and then Rach won't bitch at me for how unromantic it all is?"
"Sounds good." He slides across the bench, leaning in to kiss her and smiling into it. Even with the nutjob body swap, it's the most stable and probably the best relationship he's ever had with anyone to date and that's pretty awesome in his mind. "Rach is picking me up tomorrow morning, she wants to go somewhere after school, so I'll see you later on."
"Sure, have fun meeting mom's boyfriend." And Puck didn't need that reminder.
"Yeah, you go have fun with the three screaming, crazy nine-year-old's, big brother." There's another quick kiss before Puck slips out of the truck and heads up into the house, waving as Quinn drives off. This was something he hadn't been expecting, but Judy was single and she was relatively young and good looking, so really she should get a boyfriend, that was fine. Besides, her ex-husband was already on girlfriend number three following their divorce.
Puck didn't actually want to meet the guy though.
Closing the front door, Puck headed into the kitchen, hearing the voices from in there. "Mom," it's no longer weird calling her that, even if she's not his mother, it's just a name. Just like he's gotten used to calling his Ma 'Mrs Puckerman' or 'Ruth' when she's in a really good mood. "Hey, I'm home." He ends up leaning against the door frame to the kitchen, watching Judy giggle and wipe some cream from the corner of her mouth with a blush on her face while the boyfriend ducks his head towards the cooker.
"Sweetie, how was school?" Judy tries to tidy herself up, but Puck's pretty sure she was pretty close to just letting the boyfriend ravish her against the kitchen counter. He wonders what she'd think if she knew that Puck and Quinn had already done that.
"Fine, really. Rach is going to Chicago for Thanksgiving and Santana has her aunt and cousins coming through. She's not overly thrilled so if the phone rings and there's an angry Latina on the other end, it's just San." Judy gives a small smile and nod. "Are you going to introduce us?"
"Um, Quinny, sweetie, this is Stephen. Stephen this is my daughter, Quinn." It's good that she didn't tell him that her name was Lucy, because then Puck would need to pull Quinn's bitch card like instructed and he doesn't really want to pull that.
"Hey there," Stephen is tall, somewhere between Finn's height and Puck's real height. Puck's pretty sure the guy played a sport of some kind, he's all broad shoulders and fairly muscled arms and he definitely looks a fair bit younger than Ms Fabray. Like college age. "Your mom's told me a lot about you."
"Really? I haven't heard much about you." Judy only just mentioned a few days ago that she'd been seeing someone –which Puck actually figured, because she was out late a lot and came in wearing clothes she wasn't wearing to work. It didn't take much to figure things out. "So, Stephen, what do you do?"
"I work for a real estate company as a realtor." That was something like what Quinn envisioned herself doing, wasn't it? "I've just started out but it's pretty good."
"Really? The state of the economy isn't royally screwing you over with the blown up prices and the near impossibility of getting a loan for a mortgage?" Judy and Stephen stare at him for a moment and Puck figures he should just move on. "How did you two meet?"
So Judy launches into this story about how they met at a hotel bar during one of her meetings with a CEO or something or other and started talking and how Stephen used the lamest pick up line that Puck's ever heard but Judy sort of wanted the attention anyway. He eats the spaghetti that Stephen made and further listens to a few stories, absently answering questions when asked. He's never been in this situation before, because his Ma never dated after his dad walked out, Sarah was too little and Puck couldn't watch her on his own and Nana never approved since, technically, Ma was still married. So it's the first time he's ever met a 'boyfriend' and had to deal with that 'we're going to be a family' thing, even if they weren't.
"So, Stephen has invited us to go to his family's home for Thanksgiving."
"What?" Judy just drops it right in there during desert. Puck drops the spoon into his bowl of ice cream, not even bothering with subtlety. "Mom, what happened to 'not doing' Thanksgiving?" See, they got the whole weekend off school, Thursday through to Monday was like a holiday or whatever, and he was looking forward to spending time with Quinn.
"Well, I thought that, since Stephen was being so sweet and inviting us along, it would be rude to say no." Puck totally catches just how she says it, so he knows that she thinks he's being a bitch or whatever.
"You know what else would be rude, cancelling my plans with my boyfriend."
"Oh, you have a boyfriend?" Stephen is apparently trying to defuse things, but it's unlikely to happen because Puck's still getting used to doing the teenage girl fighting with mom thing, but it's happened enough that he knows him and Judy are going to yell at each other over this.
"Yes, I do. One whom I've made plans to spend Thanksgiving with, and the weekend after that. Since it's our three month anniversary." Judy puts her own spoon down and crosses her arms.
"You know I'm happy that you and Noah are doing so well, but frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about all the time you spend with him."
"He's my boyfriend mom, of course I'm going to spend a lot of time with him." And really, he's barely gotten any time with Quinn lately, it's all be him and Rach and San for a bit, he gets some time with Quinn at school and she drives him home and stuff, but there's hardly any time. "I barely see him, just him and me. We want to do something special for this."
"And it's great, really, I'm glad you're so serious. But we're going to Cincinnati with Stephen for the weekend." There was no way that Puck was spending the weekend in Cincinnati without Quinn, least of all Stephen and his family.
"No. I am not. I'm not spending Thanksgiving weekend in another city with your boyfriend's family when I can be at home, with my boyfriend for our anniversary." He pushed himself out from the table in the kitchen and went upstairs, ignoring Judy calling after him. It was the girl thing, he was fairly certain that was all it was, but there was just this annoying clench in his chest that tightened any time Judy and him started arguing and he hated it. Because he wasn't even her daughter, and he shouldn't care enough to start arguing with her.
"Quinn," Judy just follows him upstairs, pushing the door open and comes into Quinn's room. Puck stands by the end of her bed, arms crossed under his boobs, glaring at her. "Don't you dare start this. This is a good thing for me, don't ruin it."
"I'm not trying to, I'm all happy or whatever that you're getting out there and dating. But you only told me about this guy like two days ago, and you want me to drop everything and spend Thanksgiving weekend with his family? What about what I wanted?" He spends enough time with Judy to know what's going on with her, but he's not all that interested in going beyond that. He does not want to spend a weekend with her and her boytoy, least of all when he knows no one.
"You can see Noah when you come back."
"He's taking me out. On Saturday. For our anniversary. He's actually remembered, three months is like the longest he's ever been in a relationship and he's got something planned. Please, mom, this is a big deal for us." Really, Puck would tell her anything if it got him out of going to this stupid thing.
"He's already planned something?"
"Yes, like new clothes worthy something. Like getting everything waxed worthy something and new shoes. Santana and Rach and I are going shopping after school tomorrow for something. C'mon mom. You've gone away for the weekend before, I promise I'll behave and call and whatever, but please don't make me go." He can tell that he's almost got her.
"You really like this boy?" And Judy isn't all in on the idea of her little girl dating 'Puck'. Not entirely, because he was the guy who got her pregnant and Ms Fabray is aware that he's the same boy who has had sex with half of the female population of Lima. But when Quinn's over, she plays it as nothing but polite so it's not like Judy actually has anything to complain about when it comes to her interactions with Noah.
"I love him." He pulls out the most pathetic, whining and pouting voice and face that Quinn can possibly make when he says it. He's not even lying because he loves Quinn and she loves him so there is no actual lie there. In the end, it's probably what makes Judy cave to it. She intends to go with Stephen to Cincinnati on the Tuesday and stay through to the Sunday night. Which gives him from Tuesday night to Saturday night with Quinn and that just makes his damn week. Even if he does have to promise to no funny business –which probably means no parties, but it wasn't like Puck was planning one- and she says that if Noah intends to stay over, Quinn has to call and let Judy know.
He figures that if he calls on Saturday to tell her that's enough. Even if Quinn sort of just moves in for the duration of the break.
The thing about Rachel picking him up in the morning rather than Quinn isn't just the lack of making out, but the lack of coffee, because Rachel appears an hour earlier than anyone else is logically going to get out of bed and it just makes no damn sense. If Puck had his way, he'd be in bed until half eight and barely show up in time for his first class at ten to nine.
"No uniform today?" He'd opted out of the Cheerio's uniform because there was no practice today, no games, and he was going out with Rach and San straight after school and he sort of hated being in the uniform all day.
"Nope." He just huffs, and he knows he's still in a mood from the night before, but that tends to happen now that he's a girl. "If we're going out, I'd rather not be wearing the red and white like a damn beacon all afternoon."
"Okay, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. Why do you think something's wrong?"
"You're wearing jeans, your hair is a bit of a mess and you have the minimal amount of make up on that's possible. Did you and Noah have a fight?" What he really hates is how, when he gets fed up with all the girl stuff, everyone assumes he's fighting with Quinn. Seriously, maybe he just slept in that morning.
"No, okay, Puck and I are fine. We're great. We're planning a nice Thanksgiving weekend together which will include a surprise in the form of him actually remembering our anniversary and taking me somewhere and my mother, who just sprung her boyfriend on me two days ago, wants me to go to Cincinnati with her and him to meet his entire family when I barely even know anything about him." Yeah, he got Judy to agree to him staying in Lima for the weekend, but it's the principal that counts. "Seriously, she wanted me to miss my three months with a boy who used to only make as far as three days with the same girl, because she's got some hot new boytoy to flaunt around."
"Okay, Quinn, you need to calm down."
"I am calm, okay. This is me being calm. You should've seen me last night, if you had, you would know. This is calm." The rest of the drive is quiet and Puck can't wait until he gets Quinn's car back because this early morning being a passenger thing is a total drag and he hates it. Rachel doesn't talk until they pull up into the school parking lot and then it's just to try and placate her.
"Do you think if you told her you were staying with Santana or something she'd let you stay?"
"I'm staying. I convinced her to let me stay on my own while she went to meet the boyfriend's parents. I have stupid rules to deal with, but I'm staying." Rach just shakes her head again, clearly not understanding. Frankly, Puck doesn't really get it himself, he just reacts a whole lot differently to stuff these days.
"Come on, we'll get you something to drink, I'm thinking green tea, by the way, and then we'll wait in the library until Noah's likely to show up and then you can just see him and try and feel better."
"I resent the implication that I require Puck to make me calm down and 'feel better'." Funny thing is though, almost forty five minutes later when Rachel drags him over to Quinn, he totally feels better when Quinn just wraps her arms around him and kisses his head.
He's such a fucking girl.
"So, Judy's boyfriend seems okay. I might've made a not so great impression, but Judy is going to Cincinnati to meet his family from Tuesday to Sunday, so, free house. Also, Rachel is crazy. And stupid. And I'm in a mood with her." Quinn just laughs at him and wraps her arms around his shoulders tighter.
"Free house means I can stay over?"
"Yeah, I need to tell Judy that you're there on Saturday, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?" It's generally how he feels about his own mother too. If he told her everything she'd have had a heart attack years ago, so this is much better. He'll just limit how much Judy finds out and move on from there. "Do you have any idea where the hell Rachel is taking me today?"
"Not a one. She's in secret agent mode. I think it's just something to do while she's single. But hey, you've got five more days and then we'll be free of all interruptions while Santana deals with her family and Rachel heads off to Chicago."
"Yeah, what about you? No fear that Finn'll try and work in a boy's night? Sam and Mike inviting you over of video game marathons? Artie pulling the bros before hos card?" Quinn just laughed at him, walking them down the hall and, tragically, towards his French class with Hummel.
"They'll just be told, I'm playing house with my girl and that's that." Puck just rolled his eyes, expecting the quick kiss that came as he approached his class and the grin on Quinn's face afterwards.
"Guess who's doing all the cleaning up? And I plan to make the biggest mess possible."
"Looking forward to it, Q." Really, this whole thing was far too comfortable, but he just couldn't work up the energy to hate it.