Subject: [OTL]: [Just So Challenge] How the Longshot Was Armored
Date: Thu, 06 Jul 2000 20:53:48 -0700
From: Ana Lyssie Cotton

Notes: This is sort of an answer to Kielle's long ago "Just So"
challenge. I know it doesn't exactly work... I think. Erm. Um.
Anyway, I couldn't find my copy of Kipling...

Disclaimer: Marvel owns Pete, Longshot and Gambit. The Brits own
their museum. Bevy owns Dakota. Apologies to all Kipling fans.

How the Longshot was Armored
by Ana Lyssie Cotton

Listen close, Oh Dear Beloved, as the tale is spun, of three
heroes and their Drunken Exploits.

They say there was a night that was like no other, as three
friends journeyed the Pubs of London, carousing like mad and
becoming quite tipsy.

Dakota was the first to wonder about why they were currently
slipping over the wall near the British Museum.

Wisdom just shook his head and giggled. And then proceeded to
clamber up the Longshot's back to his shoulders, so he could
unlatch an upper storey window. Once it was open, he scrambled
up and inside the building. There was the sound of various
crashes and bangs, and then his head reappeared, along with a

The ladder was, of course, a Contrivance of the Plot, so that
our Heroes could proceed anon. Besides, Oh Dear Beloved, the
Author wishes to not be bogged down in Logic.

Entry into the mighty building was achieved and our heroes crept
stealthily around on the second floor. Well, stealthy is
relative. Since they didn't knock any cases down. Nor did they
accidentally stop to christen the mummys.

And rumours that Wisdom used a very old toilet to worship are
greatly exagerated.

Stealthy footsteps got them lost, until Longshot found a map
some visitor had left on the floor. Then they proceeded quickly
to the Medieval exhibits room.

Once there, they wandered around and oohed and ahhed at the
pretty jewels. And then they spotted the suits of armor.

The Longshot stood next to one and tried to decide how he'd look
in it. Wisdom decided solemnly that it was their duty to let
Longshot try and express himself. Even if he wanted to run
around in sequins and scarves.

Dakota snickered and helped Wisdom remove the armor from its
stand by dint of shoving it while the Longshot tried to
understand why he'd want to wear such outlandish garb.

The crash didn't achieve anything except deafening the three.
They still proceeded to attempt to apply the pieces to the

Oh, Dear Beloved, the resulting mess on the floor and on the
poor blond was indescribable. Several more suits of armor were
cannibalised to create the result.

It was as our intrepid drunken men were chortling over the
result that the Museum's good security gaurds came upon them.
A fight ensued.

With much crashing and loud noises, the three escaped, leaving
behind only the mess. And Dakota's shirt.

A quick recce to another Pub had our heroes much happier. If not
a little puzzled as to why Dakota's shirtlessness produced
little comment. But then, they were drunk. Ish.

Our heroes left the little Pub and went on their way to sleep.
Or, staggered back to Wisdom's flat where they proceeded to get
a rude awakening.

There were policemen waiting for them, in regards to the fact
that Wisdom's profession had... attracted some attention. A
hasty discussion, a bribe, and the three staggered off to the
hotel room the Longshot and Dakota were sharing.

And, Oh Dear Beloved, our sore heroes slept the sleep of the
innocent--which only one of them is. And when they awoke in the
afternoon, they went to a gaming establishment, and played

It was here that our heroes were joined by another. The Gambit
appeared and made short work of the bottle they had between
them. And then he played cards with them. He won, of course.

As the night wore on, the four began laughing more as they
consumed more alcohol. Until, finally, they got around to
discussing the events of the night before. Wisdom espoused that
he couldn't remember them. The Longshot looked rueful as he
admitted he only remembered some of them. But Dakota remembered
them all.

The Gambit had a good laugh about the Museum visit. Dakota
grimaced and finally decided it was time to leave and sleep. He
and the Longshot needed to leave in the early morning hours so
they could make the airport in time to go home.

And so ends this Tale.

But where is the moral, you ask, Oh Dear Beloved? Why, it is
here. "The man with the healing factor will remember the drunken
night before."


*chuckle* Don't kill me, I'm cute.

'Innuendo and out the other. (Acetal)'