Hey! Sorry I'm late, but I had a little writer's block problem that delayed me. Well, there were other things, but that's the important one.


Six was confused. Why had Master Noble updated their armours computer system to Windows 2552? Six did a quick check of his system.

The first thing he noticed was a fangirls face as his background.

The second thing he noticed was it was a live video of said fangirl in the background.

The third thing he noticed was that someone had deleted his limited edition ultra-rare copy of Doom 456.

Jorge, meanwhile, was busy screaming. Someone had put Sierra into his background.

Chief had it the worst, though. He was forced to see proof of Rule 34 of the internet.

Rule of torturing Spartans 34: If it exists, there will be very [times infinity] mature stories about it.

Sierra walked in. "Alright, why is the rule spoken different to how it's written in the rulebook?

Master Noble and Arbiter followed him. "It's a T rated fanfiction. Better safe than sorry."

"Makes sense." Said Arbiter."So, do we unleash the beast on them today?"

Sierra shuddered. "I can't believe you're doing this. That... thing... should be wiped from existence. But you're letting it live. Worse, you're putting living beings in with it. Are you entirely sane?"

"Who is?" Asked Master Noble. "Besides, you need to see what their capable of. Back during my apprenticeship, apprentices had to go in there with that thing. It was a major factor to why my master ended up dead."

"Speaking of death," said Sierra, "I got something for you."

Sierra then gave Master Noble a weird device. If someone looked closely, which no-one was doing, they would notice the words "Bypass device," on it.

"What's this?" Asked Master Noble.

"You'll figure it out."

"So..." Started Arbiter. "Shall we have them moved to the arena, while we run for our lives, sanity and everything we hold dear?"

"Sure." Said Master Noble. The three torturers teleported out, while two obvious condemned cat-people escorted the Spartans to the arena. At the entrance of the Arena, one of the escorts suddenly turned and ran for the exit. After he took two steps, something flew out of the arena, and the cat-man thing fell dead.

"Lucky."Muttered the surviving cat-person, in the usual purr-like voice.

By this stage, the three Spartans were thoroughly terrified.

"Why?" asked Master Chief. "Why are you doing this?"

"For the evils." Said the Cat-man.

"Why are you so loyal to Master Noble?" Asked Six.

The Cat-person looked into the distance. "He raised us to Forerunner-hood. Never again will someone keep Cat food from us by putting it into cupboards. Never again shall we be stuck in the rain while humans enjoy the warmth of indoors. Never again shall we be terrorised by dogs." The Cat-person looked at the prisoners, voice dropping into a whisper. "Never. Again."

"If he's so wonderful." Began Jorge. "Why are you forced to deliver us to here?"

"If we are killed by the beast, we shall be reborn, almost as powerful as the Master. My friend, Lucky, got an easy death. And he died with his sanity." Said the cat-man, as he forced him into the arena.

Oh, high charity. The story is at the verge of being hi-jacked by the beast. If it happens, the grammar shall drop incredibly, and it may be hard to read without going insane. Also, the characters will act extremely different. It will be underlined, so you know that control has been stolen.

Curse you, R-

*Bang, Boom, Crash*

Cuntrul takin.

"Wat da?" asdek Sik. "Y haz gramir goN doun?"

"It be dA quin's presese. Shi haz coreCtid gramir." Sid da funI kitty.

"Wat-a-sec.." sid geoRg. "iZ da quin a Mary Sue?"

Al da prisinirs gaped.

"Ya." Sid a extruImely perfict voece. 'I R PERFICT?"

*Bing, bom, crish*

High charity, the Mary Sue thing's control has been removed. I shall now translate the above into English, and then continue the story.

"What the?" asked Six. "Why has grammar gone down?"

"It is the beast's presence. She has corrupted grammar." Said the Cat-person.

"Wait-a-sec..." said Jorge. "Is the beast a Mary Sue?"

All the prisoners gasped.

"Ya." Said a sickeningly perfect voice. 'I R PERFICT?"

There, translated the piece. Yes, I did some editing, and yes, the Sue talks like that. Sorry you had to read that.


Rule of torturing Spartans 4: There are sign's to recognise a Sue. They are listed through rules 4.1 to rules 4.9.

Rule of torturing Spartans 4.1: All Sue's names consist of Raven, Darkness, Ebony and Shadow, in a random order, with some spelling differences, and the last name is always the same as a major character in the story.

The Cat-person fell to his knees. "I love you." He whispered.

Rule of torturing Spartans 4.2: Most Sue's have the ability to make weak-minded people fall in love with them on sight.

"Whar is Emile?" Asked Raven.

Rule of torturing Spartans 4.3: All Sue's like Emo's.

"Not here." Said Jorge. The Sue turned to him, and then threw fire at him.

Rule of torturing Spartans 4.4: No matter what reality they are in, Sue's will have abilities from other realities. This includes magic, the force, mutations, healing and Spartan training.

Sometime later, the roof of the arena opened, revealing a plasma barrier. The three torturers were visible on the other side.

"Well."Said Master Noble. "Are the guards being re-created with Author Powers?"

"Affirmative." Said Sierra.

"What kind of plasma barrier is this?" Asked Arbiter. "We can't have the Sue escaping.

"It's a type-5, level-X Author barrier." Said Master Noble. "The only way you can pass is if you are touching a bypass device, which can pass through anything but plot barriers."

Sierra moved behind Master Noble.

"Do you have that device I gave you?" Asked Sierra.

"Yeah, right here." Replied Master Noble, as he got the device out. He was, oddly, still oblivious to the words "Bypass device," that were written on the side.

"Good." Said Sierra, as he pushed Master Noble through the plasma barrier, into the arena.



Oh great, those famous words. As soon as anyone posts an Author Note with the word "Cliffhanger" at the start, they tend to abandon the story. Have you noticed that? But I swear on Forerunner and Gravemind that the only reason this will not be updated in the next four weeks is if I die, or if I get hurt, or if I get banned for some reason, or if someone I know dies or gets hurt.

...I should stop jinxing myself, shouldn't I?