Well, this has taken a lot longer than expected. Hehehe…Oh, look! A distraction in the form of a really long chapter! *runs away*
Paloma!" Gomez called happily to his daughter when she and Lucas entered the dining room together.
"Hello Father, Mother." Wednesday greeted her parents while Lucas just smiled at everyone at the table, including ancient Grandma, who was currently staring off into space. Lurch took the bagged pigeon from Lucas, who'd completely forgotten about the fact that he'd been carrying around a dead bird, and Wednesday took her seat next to her brothers.
"I need you to stuff this for me." She said to the eldest of the two. Pugsley looked at the blackbird before smirking.
"I'd love to, but I'm afraid that there's nothing in it for me." He not-so-politely declined.
"I'll do it for you." Pubert offered, and was promptly elbowed in the ribs by his older brother. Wednesday handed the bag to her youngest brother and turned back to the adults just as Lurch began serving breakfast.
"Lucas, when will we be meeting your parents?" Morticia asked. Lucas spared one quick glance at Wednesday before responding,
"As soon as my dad can pull himself away from work." Nobody else in the room aside from Wednesday knew that hell would probably freeze over before then, but luckily Grandma interrupted before this string of conversation could be continued.
"WHERE'S MY STASH, YOU NAZIS?!"
"You probably smoked it all, based on the contact high I got last night from two floors down." Pugsley said, not nearly loud enough for the senile 106-year-old to hear.
"WHAT?" Grandma asked.
"Nothing!" Pugsley yelled. Lucas chuckled, and Wednesday lightly jabbed him with her elbow. She refused to admit that Grandma's insanity had finally become somewhat amusing to her, but she supposed that this was not the case for the rest of the family that lived with the woman all the time. She recalled the time Pugsley stole one of Grandma's potions and gave it to little 6-year-old Pubert. The kid had to be locked in his room because he kept screaming, 'I AM SPARTACUS!'
"Wednesday, I want you and Lucas to join your father and I in the ballroom this afternoon." Morticia said to her daughter, and caused Wednesday to raise an eyebrow.
"Why?" The ballroom. For dancing. The ballroom for dancing where her parents tango at least once a day. Wednesday's mind began to deduce the possible reasons why her mother wanted her and Lucas to possibly dance, when her father announced.
"We've invited the whole family for a small get together tonight." Wednesday imagined she and Lucas wore a similar facial expression. A kind of ghostly, mildly terrified, deer in headlights sort of thing, but then she remembered that he didn't know the extent of her family's...eccentricity, and turned to his traitorous smile.
"Sounds fun!" Her palm immediately met her face.
"Father, no! No knives!" Wednesday yelled, almost too late. Gomez had to stop himself mid-throw, but the knife only dropped right to the floor." He gave his daughter an exasperated look.
"Wednesday, you cannot do that! This floor is mahogany!" He said as he picked up the knife.
"Yes, and Lucas is fleshy." The man in question was still shaking in terror. "Maybe you should just do the Mamushka with uncle Fester." Wednesday suggested, as she went to Lucas' side. The Spaniard nodded and reluctantly set down the rest of the weapons on the nearest table.
"Wednesday, I'll take it from here." Morticia said as she stepped out of the shadows and approached her daughter and supposed son-in-law. "Tango!" She said dramatically, and Wednesday immediately stopped her.
"And no tango. Thank you, Mother, but I think we'll just stick with a waltz. Besides, because I learned about this party at such short notice, I have nothing to wear."
"Darling, you can wear something of mine." This elicited a half laugh from Wednesday that had to be stifled.
"No, really it's fine. I actually have been meaning to show Lucas the city." Wednesday turned to the young man. "Right?" Lucas nodded his head furiously. "And I assure you, a waltz will be fine for the party." Gomez' face fell, but he nodded.
"You are a woman and you can make your own decisions. But would you like Lurch to take you?" He asked. Wednesday thought back to Lurch's comments that morning, and politely declined.
"We promise to be back at least an hour before people are supposed to get here." Lucas added on as his fake wife grabbed his hand, and Wednesday couldn't get out of there fast enough.
"Sweet freedom!" She exclaimed up at the sky the minute the two of them were outside the house, and heading toward the fastest route to the more commonly-known majority of New York City that wasn't owned by her family.
"Are we seriously going to shop for formalwear while we're out, or are we making a run for it?" Lucas asked Wednesday.
"Unfortunately, yes, we're really shopping. Things like this are nearly impossible to back out of unless you're like my grandmother and have to be locked in the attic when company's over." He looked for any signs that she was joking, but found none.
"Okay, then." He held out his hand for Wednesday to hold, and she awkwardly accepted.
"So, is there anywhere in particular you would like to go?" Wednesday asked as they neared the end of the drive, and the actual street began to reveal itself. Lucas could hardly contain his excitement. Even if he'd been in New York for two (three?) days, the Addams corner of the world was nothing like this. The hustle and bustle of people, beautiful skyscrapers that were forever immortalized, the wonderful stench of smog and hotdogs that hung in the air...
"Lucas?" Wednesday's ever so slightly amused voice brought him back down to Earth. "Is there anywhere you want to go?" She asked again. He shrugged, and watched her intently as she hailed a cab.
"That was cool." He admitted as they got into the car. Still finding humor in his extreme fascination, Wednesday actually had to refrain from any biting comments, or smiling. Lucas didn't really pay attention to the directions she gave the driver, but he spent the duration of the trip with his face all but pressed against the glass of the window, not trying to miss a single thing. Wednesday had to pull him from the cab after paying their fare.
"What is the place?" He asked in wonder as Wednesday led him into Macy's."It's a department store." She stated, remembering the size of the mall she'd taken Lucas from.
"It's beautiful." He whispered just barely jokingly, while looking around at the endless clothing racks.
"That's not exactly how I would describe it, but okay." Wednesday led him further into the store to the men's department. "Let's just try to get this over with." She waved her hand at the formalwear, but Lucas continued to stare in wonder.
"Any restrictions?" He asked, devoid of emotions, still with that dreamy look in his eyes.
"No bright colors." Wednesday specified. He nodded, and began to silently glided around, looking at everything, and completely annoying his fake wife that trailed behind him. After about twenty minutes without him saying a word, nor picking up a single article of clothing, an exasperated Wednesday sighed, and he noticed instantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Lucas said when he saw her face and realized he might have been taking too long. He pointedly went to some of the racks they'd previously passed and began to piece together his outfit. Black leather oxford shoes with a matching belt, a dark gray suit, a black shirt, and a gray bow tie. He double-checked the sizes on the tags and headed for the nearest fitting room, leaving Wednesday to wait outside until he emerged a few minutes later.
Wednesday had admitted to herself sometime on the drive to New York that Lucas was exceptionally handsome. Not in the way the men her classmates drooled over were, of course not, but that was probably why she was so attracted to him. He was most likely somewhat attractive to most women, but the ears that stuck out just a little too far, the slightly pointed nose, the chin that was just barely bigger than average, things that some women would think to be deductions on his attractiveness level were bonuses to Wednesday. In nice clothes that fit him perfectly and smiling at her, he was, dare she say it? Sexy.
"So, what do you think?" Lucas asked, and did a twirl for her, which did not help her keep her train of thought. Wednesday cursed her college-age sex drive.
"Yes. It's good." She cleared her throat, though there was definitely no phlegm there.
"You look very nice." Lucas smiled again.
"Thanks. So, yes?" He asked.
"Definitely yes." When Lucas had gone back into the stall, Wednesday allowed herself to sigh like a schoolgirl, and then promptly slapped herself in the face.
Four years at college and a few had caught her eye, but this was just ridiculous. Rule number one of kidnapping: never get too close to the victim, because that's how you make mistakes. But if course, she'd already made a lot of mistakes, ranging from breaking down in front of him to actually taking Lucas out in public(though the chances of there being a nationwide search for a grown man after just a few days were not good).
But no, all rules aside, she tried to not let herself care about him, because if he had a brain, he wouldn't care about her. She kidnapped him for Charles sake!
She was still having an internal debate when he came back out. "So, you next?" He asked. Wednesday nodded and they checked out before heading towards the nearest dress shop.
"Do you have any idea of what we're looking for?" Lucas asked on the walk over there. Wednesday shook her head.
"I made this." She indicated her dress, knowing that it would be enough explanation for him.
"Ah." Lucas thought for a moment. "Well, I'll help you." He took the lead once again.
"So, do you shop for dresses often?" Wednesday asked teasingly as Lucas held up two to her, with the bag containing his suit slung over his shoulder. He shook his head, and put them back.
"Actually, yes. I have a lot of girl friends." He said without thinking, and though he'd had his back turned, he visualized something similar to the raised eyebrow that Wednesday displayed. "I have a lot of friends that are girls." He quickly clarified. Something clicked in Wednesday's mind.
"Wow, I don't know how I didn't pick up on that." She said mostly to herself as Lucas looked for another dress that wasn't neon.
"Pick up on what?" Lucas asked and decided against a navy dress.
"You're gay." Wednesday stated what she now believed to be the obvious. Lucas was certain that a cup of tea would be required for a proper response. "You write poetry and are good at clothes. Also, you just really don't seem like the type of man who would actually have sex with women." Wednesday specified. Now on the defensive side, Lucas decided to prove her wrong.
"Okay, first of all, lots of straight men have written poetry. Look at Edgar Allen Poe. Secondly, I would gladly have sex with you-" He immediately cut himself off, but the damage was done, and the look on Wednesday's face certainly did not convey the church choir singing Hallelujah in her head. "Not like we would ever have sex, I mean that would be absurd." Lucas stumbled over his words as he frantically searched for any dress in Wednesday's size.
"Completely absurd." Wednesday agreed. "I mean, gross, Stockholm Syndrome." Lucas stopped on the spot.
"I don't have Stockholm Syndrome." He grumbled and tried to look for something more specific after pulling out a little pink number that Wednesday would wear the day she became a Stepford Wife.
"Hate to break it to you, but yes, you do." She said unapologetically. "You are currently on a shopping trip with the woman who kidnapped you from a mall in Ohio. That's not Stockholm to you?"
"Nope," Lucas argued. "You should know that you give me more freedom than my father." He added, and Wednesday couldn't stifle a tiny laugh. Lucas smiled at the dress rack. "Perfect!" He handed the floor-length, black dress with corset ties in the back, to Wednesday. She approved of it within a quick glance.
"No matter, I would really appreciate if you didn't run off while I try this on." She went to the fitting room, hoping he really did have Stockholm's.
And of course, the dress fit like a glove, because apparently Lucas was a fashion wizard, and her few trips for simple, identical outfits in the past four years had still left her as, well, an Addams. But she had to give her fake husband credit, he did a fine job in picking out women's clothing.
"Is it good?" Wednesday heard Lucas call through the door, and she felt secret relief that he was still there. She unlocked the door and allowed him to see. He smiled that painfully adorable, dorky grin of his.
"I am so good." He playfully bragged.
"Yes, yes, you're fabulous." Wednesday feigned sarcasm, when in all actuality, it was a very true statement to her. "Can we leave now?" She asked, anxious to make him stop staring at her like...that. It made her wonder why her mother always wished to be the center of attention.
"Yes. We can just check out," Lucas started, and then finished after they'd started walking. "And then we can do some sight-seeing." Wednesday stopped.
"Who said anything about sight-seeing?" She asked.
"I did." Lucas said smugly. "This took no time at all, and I doubt you want to spend most of the day with your parents." Wednesday's eyes narrowed. "And considering you forcefully took me from the wonderful Willard, I think you owe me." He finished.
"I don't owe you anything. I could still shoot you if I wanted to." She said this close enough to the counter that the middle-aged woman that took Wednesday's credit card was almost as white as her. The pair silently agreed on waiting to continue their conversation until after Wednesday's dress had been bagged and they were outside, and out of earshot of the woman.
"You won't shoot me, because I'm your adoring husband, and your parents know that." Lucas said before spotting another hot dog vendor and practically skipping over to it. Wednesday caught up to him and paid the bored-looking New Yorker who handed Lucas his food.
"What exactly would this sight-seeing entail?" Wednesday asked before Lucas could take the first bite.
"Stuff." He said, and bit off a huge chunk. Wednesday rolled her eyes.
"Does this count as stuff?" She asked. With his mouth full, Lucas could only nod. "So, are we done here?" She asked. He quickly shook his head no. She gave an exasperated sigh. "Fine. What do you want to do, Lucas?" With all of the food in his mouth, the closed-mouth, devious smile from Lucas made him look a bit like a chipmunk.
"Wednesday! Take my picture!" Lucas said like a child as he did a Superman pose in front of some theatre. The Lunt something.
"Lucas, if I take anymore pictures of you, I won't have any memory on my phone. Besides, I don't even know why you would want reminders of this experience." Wednesday said sourly.
"Hey, I'm in New York, and how I got here is irrelevant." He approached Wednesday, and with a series of very fast motions, was able to get her phone out of her hands a lot easier than if she hadn't been carrying all of the bags at that point in time. Her stomach dropped at the three numbers he could very easily dial. "And as I recall," he spoke coyly, holding the phone out of Wednesday's reach. "We're supposed to be in love." He caught her off guard, grabbed her with one arm, held the phone in position, and took the picture while he was kissing her on the cheek. Wednesday punched him in the arm and grabbed the phone back.
"Jerk." She scolded as she went to view the picture. It featured Lucas being Lucas, grinning into the kiss, and her looking like she was taken off-guard. Accurate.
"Oh, that's a keeper." Lucas was looking over her shoulder.
"Yes, I suppose." She went back to the photo library. "But it's nothing compared to you in front of FAO Schwarz." She laughed once again at the picture of him grinning like a five-year-old.
"So you're having fun?" Lucas asked.
"This hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be." Wednesday admitted, and handed Lucas his portion of the bags, which was all but the dress.
"Well, we have time for one more thing before we head back, so I intend to make you smile some more." Lucas managed to hail a cab on his own, to his utter delight. Wednesday was rather amused when he told the driver they were going to the Central Park Zoo.
"What are you, ten?" Wednesday jokingly asked him.
"Actually, I'm eleven, I've never been to a zoo, and I want to see some tigers." Lucas retorted.
"Well, I'm twenty-two, and I'm banned from the zoo." She shot back nonchalantly. Lucas stared at her in silence for a few seconds before finally asking,
"Why?!" Wednesday smirked and began to tell him how to prepare penguin. He stopped her with, "Please tell me you're kidding."
"I could, but that would be a lie. I wasn't actually arrested, but that's due to a very large, 'anonymous' donation." Wednesday understandably seemed touchy about the subject.
"How old were you?" Lucas asked out of sheer curiosity.
"Thirteen." Not the least bit surprised, Lucas burst into laughter that ended abruptly when Wednesday glared at him.
"Sorry." He apologized while trying to return his breathing to normal.
"I'm sorry we can't go to the zoo." Wednesday replied and had the driver stop several blocks short. "Is walking through actual Central Park an experience?" She asked as the two walked along a pathway where people actually roamed with their children, and the trees were about as healthy as they could be. Lucas smiled and nodded.
"So, there's something I've been dying to ask all day." He started as they walked along.
"Go on." Wednesday said, expecting a question about clothes, how the house was in Central Park, or why Pugsley was such an idiot, but not,
"Who do you talk to when you're in school?" The question had caught her rather off-guard. It didn't confuse her; she knew he meant how she got along with people when she was, well, like this, and even without her hesitating to answer, she worried Lucas would see right through her and know how hard of a question this was for her.
"I have friends- in a sense. They know me about as well as you did when I kidnapped you." He nodded, realizing the stark contrast between the girl beside him now, and how others might have perceived her when she was in normal clothes, devoid of color; alone in a lecture hall.
"It sounds lonely." He sympathized. For some strange reason he couldn't rationally explain, he found his eyes wandering to other couples in the park. He really wanted to tell himself that it was because he too had been rather isolated in the past few years, starting with being completely barred from going to school in New York, but he knew this was untrue. He knew this all stemmed to the same feeling he got when Wednesday laughed, or when he looked into her beautiful brown eyes.
"It's not so- what? Why are you looking at me like that?" Wednesday asked him accusingly, and he practically felt the blood rushing to his cheeks. How manly.
"Nothing. Just, um, thought I had to sneeze." He lied horribly, but he guessed that's how his face had appeared before. Wednesday gave him a skeptical look.
"Anyways, thank you again for going along with this whole family party thing." She changed the subject. "I just have to warn you, the rest of my family is, kind of, well-"
"Also a part of your family?" Lucas asked. Wednesday nodded once, her lips pressed together tightly.
"If things get really bad, I know places where we can hide until they disperse." She seemed to be completely serious, and this caused them both to laugh. Their eyes met again, and their gazes lingered before they both turned their heads. They'd made it to the center of Bow Bridge, and both found themselves looking out over the park.
"So, we should probably be heading back." Lucas stated, not really knowing what time it was, and really, he didn't care about getting back to the house.
"Yeah. It has to be past five..." Wednesday's voice trailed off at the end of the sentence, and neither of the two really realized they'd completely turned towards each other until their eyes met again, and they both found themselves reaching for the other and kissing vigorously.
And there you have it. What Child of a Broken Dawn has been pestering me for, for several weeks. I hope you all enjoyed. If not, still review. I live for the beautiful reviews because I do not understand the meaning of those "life" things.