A/N: I've decided I want to write a South Park Christmas story…only, I doubt it will be done before Christmas lol, seeing as how Christmas is in 3 days. Also, I know that this year Hanukkah actually falls around the same time as Christmas…in this story, we're going to pretend it doesn't haha.


Snowpocalypse

It was the last day of school before Winter Break for the students of South Park Elementary School. The fourth grade students were gathered in the classroom with Mr. Garrison, who was dragging his feet through a day of presentations.

"Okay now which one of you dumbasses wants to present your short story to the class next?" Mr. Garrison mumbled off-handedly, his eyes glued to the clock.

"Oo, me, me, Mr. Garrison!" Cartman called out with his hand raised high in the air.

"Alright, Eric, come on up to the front and read your story," Mr. Garrison replied, bored.

Cartman skipped to the front of the classroom and cleared his throat, his story held out in front of him. "Okay, guys, my story is called 'Jewlight,'" Cartman declared proudly, his eyes immediately flying to his classmate and rival, Kyle Broflovski.

Kyle glared at him incredulously. "Are you kidding me?" He yelled angrily.

"It is a story of love and acceptance," Cartman continued. "A normal, small town girl grows to find love in an unlikely place: a member of the Jewish race."

Kyle stood up from his desk. "First you wrote that goddamn Christmas critters story, and now this? Mr. Garrison, do something!"

Mr. Garrison sighed, still staring at the clock. "Shut the hell up Kyle and sit down. He is just trying to express his creativity. Go ahead, Eric."

Cartman smiled at the eccentric teacher. "Why, thank you, Mr. Garrison."

"I know what you are," Bella said dreamily as she stared off into the depths of the forest. She hugged herself against the cold and looked around her before continuing. "Your hair is a curly mess fit to house rats, you're greedy as hell, and you don't celebrate Christmas."

"Say it," Kyle whispered behind her, "out loud."

Bella turned around slowly to face the strange creature she had found herself falling in love with despite all odds. "A Jew." She frowned and then looked into his dark, beady Jewish eyes. "You're a Jew."

"Are you afraid?" Kyle asked, a hint of fear staining his tone.

Bella thought on that for a moment. "A little."

Kyle gave her a small smile. "Good," he replied sadly, "you should be. Jews are not to be trusted."

Kyle, whose face had flushed red from embarrassment and anger, stood up again from his desk in the middle of Cartman's story. "That's enough, Cartman! I've heard enough! That isn't an original story! It's just a stupid fucking Twilight rip off that you've changed around to bash Jews!"

Cartman sighed and frowned at Kyle. "You didn't even let me get to the part where Bella gets the crap beaten out of her."

"Just shut your fucking mouth, Cartman!" Kyle yelled in frustration. "No one wants to hear your fucking story!"

Mr. Garrison finally stood up. "Watch your language, Kyle! I would send your stupid ass to the counselor's office, but school's going to end in just a minute. Eric, good job, go sit down." Mr. Garrison frowned at Kyle. "You're going to have detention when we get back from break, young man!"

Kyle sighed and sat down, avoiding Cartman's eyes as the latter walked past to get to his seat. Stan placed a hand on his friends shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly, earning a smile from the Jewish boy.

True to Mr. Garrison's word, the bell rang a minute later. The boys all yelled for joy and ran out to the busses together. Cartman shoved people out of the way in order to get to the busses first, even though it didn't make any difference in helping him get home quicker. Excitement was truly in the air for the kids of South Park.

Stan also ran on ahead, excited that Christmas was nearly there. Kenny and Kyle, however, dragged their feet as they made their way outside.

"Why are you so bummed out, Kyle?" Kenny asked nicely.

Kyle sighed. "Hanukkah has been over for several days now. Most of the kids of South Park are going to be celebrating Christmas, and my family and I are going to be sitting at home, as usual."

Kenny shrugged. "I don't know if I'll be celebrating Christmas, if that makes you feel any better."

Kyle stopped in his tracks just outside of the bus. "What do you mean, Kenny? And how is that supposed to make me feel better?" Kyle asked, alarmed.

Kenny gave him a sad look through the hood of his parka. "My family can't afford it," he replied sadly, his speech muffled as usual.

Kyle frowned. "I'm so sorry, and here I was, whining about my problems…"

Kenny smiled. "Don't worry about it, man! Everyone has their problems, right?"

Kyle smiled too. "Yeah, I guess."


Back at his house, Cartman jumped up and down with excitement as his mother placed a batch of Christmas cookies in the oven. He inhaled the sweet aroma deeply before releasing a contented sigh.

"Mom?" Cartman began sweetly. "Can't you give me a hint about something I got for Christmas?" Cartman batted his eyelashes sweetly and smiled at his mother.

"No, sweetums," Liane replied. "It has to be a surprise. Giving you hints would take the fun out of the surprise!"

"But mem," Cartman whined, "the suspense is killing me!"

Liane smiled at her son. "Well then, you'll be very happy when you open your presents in two days at your aunt's house then, won't you?"

Cartman crossed his arms. "Can't I at least look at the wrapped packages?"

Liane shook her head and laughed. "I dropped the presents off at your aunt's house so that she could put them around her tree before we get there."

Defeated, Cartman gave his mother one last glare. "These better be some damn good presents, mom. They better be worth all of this suffering."

Cartman sighed and walked out to the family room where a TV was still on. Upon the screen was a commercial warning of the dangers global warming poses to polar bears.

"It is our job to save the earth," a man voiced over a clip of a family of polar bears huddling together. "These defenseless creatures need our help."

Cartman frowned. "Defenseless my ass, those things are about as defenseless as a Jew in a bank." Cartman rolled his eyes as another clip of a pathetic looking polar bear cub was shown. "This is bull crap," he muttered as he turned off the TV.


In the McCormick household, it was just an average day. Stuart and Carol were fighting again with Kevin interjecting with a few of his own blows from time to time. Kenny was parked on the couch, his eyes glued to the television, and Karen was nowhere in sight.

Kenny watched the weather channel with great concern. From the looks of it, there was going to be a snowstorm of epic proportions. Kenny sighed as he looked around at the house he lived in. If there indeed was a storm like the weatherman was predicting, they would be having an even more difficult time than usual, particularly Karen whose window was broken and had yet to be repaired.

As a Coca-Cola commercial came on about protecting polar bears, Kenny looked down the hall and eyed Karen's bedroom door. He walked up to it and leaned his ear against the door to hear if she was still awake. His heart sunk when he heard the tell tale sounds of his sister's sobs through the door. He sighed and quickly went into his bedroom to change his clothes.

Kenny pulled his drawer open and eyed the costume he had become so accustomed to wearing. He quickly shrugged off his worn down parka and changed into it, placing the mask on and then pulling the hood over his head last. In that moment, he ceased to be Kenny McCormick and became Mysterion.

He realized that, as Mysterion, he had a completely different personality. He was more bold, brave, heroic, and he was a leader. As Kenny, he always seemed to be in the background. As Mysterion, however, he felt important. He was important. If not to his city, he sure was important to his sister.

Mysterion pushed open his window and hopped out into the snow. He walked around the side of the house, crouching low to avoid his parents and brother seeing him from the living room, and found his way to his sister's broken window. With ease, he pulled himself onto the windowsill, startling the young girl inside.

"Oh, Guardian Angel, it's you," Karen said softly with a smile.

Mysterion frowned at his sister's circumstances. She was obviously freezing due to the broken window. Her lips had a slightly bluish hue to them, and she was shivering. Things would only get worse for her if the snowstorm hit as predicted.

Mysterion snapped his attention back to the present. "Why are you crying, Karen?"

Karen sighed and looked away. "It's almost Christmas, Angel, did you know that?"

Mysterion nodded. "Yes. But isn't Christmas supposed to be a happy time?"

Karen looked at him. "You know that my family can't afford to have a real Christmas. I don't want to sound like a greedy kid, but it would be nice to spend Christmas like a normal kid for once, to get to open presents and have ham…"

Mysterion leapt into the room from the window. "You're cold," he stated, avoiding the topic of Christmas. "Things are only going to get worse."

Karen shivered and Mysterion drew nearer to her. "What should I do, Angel?"

Mysterion pulled himself onto the bed next to Karen and opened his arms, beckoning her into his embrace. She slid into his arms easily and smiled at the warmth he provided.

"I'll take care of everything," Mysterion replied after a long silence. "I won't let you freeze, and you'll get your Christmas."

He wasn't sure why he had added the last part about Christmas, and he instantly regretted it. He had no way of promising her a normal Christmas, but he couldn't bear to let his sister down.

"R-really, Angel?" Karen asked, beaming. "You're amazing," she whispered into his chest. "You're my hero."

Mysterion tightened his arms around her and closed his eyes. "Save your gratitude for when I succeed."