Uhh...so...yeah...I disappear a lot, I guess. But I had sudden inspiration after watching the movie TiMER, which is probably the most adorable thing in existence. And then Jakii and I had WAY too much fun with Google Docs, so this whole thing was thought up last night, planned this morning, and written today. XD Sorry if it doesn't meet expectations, but it's been a few months since I've written anything. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt. :P I had a lot of fun with this one, though. Hopefully this means you might be seeing a little more of me. I'm hoping to finish a few projects I had already started (most I haven't posted anywhere except privately) but I make no promises. My husband leaves in two weeks for his next deployment so don't be surprise if I start something angsty. :P Love ya guys!
His head swiveled immediately after he heard the distressed way his voice was being called down the crowded hallway. The blonde barreling his way through the swarm of students caught him by surprise.
"Kendall?" Logan tilted his head questioning as his friend came to a halt. It wasn't often that the taller boy drew attention to himself. Even after living in their town for a year, he still tried to fly under the radar. Nothing was worse than a bunch of snobs with revenge on their minds in a small town like theirs.
Kendall leaned forward, placing his hand on his knees as he gasped for breath, and Logan chuckled softly before grabbing his friend by his backpack and pulling him into a small, empty alcove.
"Come on, Kendall. Breathe." Logan coached, teasingly. The blonde glared up at him from his bent position before straightening up to full height and taking one last deep breath. "Good, now what's the freak out about? I thought you were gonna pass out from hyperventilation."
Kendall once again shot him that irritated, yet affectionately amused look. "I ran all the way here from my aunt's house, genius. I wasn't hyperventi-what's it. It's three miles from there to here!" He waved his arms widely and Logan blinked in shock.
"Wait...why'd you run all that way? Doesn't your aunt have like, chauffeurs and shit at her beck and call that usually drive you?" Kendall waved away the question as he coughed into his free hand, and Logan tilted his head once again.
"I had to get out of there as fast as I could. Aunt Sophie finally convinced my mother to make me get one of those stupid things." The blonde gestured towards Logan's wrist irritably.
"Wait, woah." Logan's eyebrows furrowed minutely, then he grinned. "You're getting a TiMER? That's great! I'm amazed your mom held out for so long!" Kendall's jaw dropped as he stared at Logan.
"Logan! I know you've grown up thinking these things are the best technology ever developed, but I grew up in a place where true love came from getting to know someone. Not from some damn strip on their wrist that dinged when they made eye contact." He rubbed a hand over his face as he sighed. "These stupid things are just an excuse to make money from naive people who will do anything to not remain alone for the rest of their lives. I don't want it." Then quietly he added. "I want to choose who I love."
Logan placed a strong hand on Kendall's shoulder and squeezed softly, a half smile forming on his face as he took in his friend's position on the matter, his own TiMER blinking it's dash marks at him. "Kendall," He began, pausing to find the right words of reassurance. "These things have a ninety-nine percent success rate. It's not a matter of having your 'one' chosen for you by a piece of technology, but more of having the guess work taken out of it. It brings you to your soul mate. And that doesn't mean you have to get married right away or anything, I mean come on, we're only seventeen!" He squeezed his friend's shoulder again. "But the person it takes you to is the one person out in the world who you know you can have a happy future with. You can try to have a relationship with someone else, but you'll always know that this one person is it for you. Guy or girl, doesn't matter. You're meant to be with them." He smiled softly as he saw Kendall giving in.
"I guess I'm just worried. That the person it brings me won't be the one I want. That I'll be part of that one percent who gets rejected and then that's it for me. There's no one else." He sighed, his head leaning back to thump against the wall.
"Isn't that the risk you run with anybody you get with? Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky and you'll get a countdown immediately." Logan laughed a little bitterly, the flashing dash marks always seemed to mock him when everyone else seemed to at least have a few years pop up on their own TiMERs.
"What if it doesn't? Then what?" Kendall asked curiously, his own eyes traveling to Logan's wrist to inspect the thin device.
Logan smiled, only slightly sadly, and shrugged. "It just means your one hasn't taken that plunge yet. That's all." Then he smirked, nudging the blonde in the ribs. "Or they aren't old enough yet." Kendall's face crumpled in disgust.
"Oh, ew! Great way to make me feel like a pedophile or something. Geez, thanks Logan. You're such a good friend." The taller boy elbowed the laughing brunette out of the way as he made his way back into the hall. He turned left to leave, then turned back abruptly. "Thanks Logan. I don't feel so worried anymore."
Logan gave him a mock salute as he disappeared off to class, then he looked down at his wrist with pursed lips. His countdown would start one day, he was sure of it.
He wasn't sure what it was that woke him up, but glancing at the clock and noting it was about ten thirty, he knew he hadn't been asleep long enough to really get into that deep REM cycle. He let out a breath, rubbed his eyes, then turned over to try and fall back asleep.
Only he was woken again what felt like right after he had closed his eyes. A little tinkling sound playing right in his ear. The clock said it was midnight and he was confused. Where was that sound coming from? It sounded like an old cellphone ring tone, or maybe a music box. He wiped the sleep from his eyes as he reached for his lamp, the bright light blinding his for a moment before he adjusted to it.
The chiming stopped and sudden realization dawned on him. He pulled his wrist up to his eyes and squinted at his TiMER only to see a bunch of zeros blinking at him. Logan's breath caught as he figured it out.
He had zeroed out. He had missed his own countdown.
Butterflies erupted in his stomach. He was going to meet his one today. Should he be excited? Scared? Nervous? He definitely felt that last one prevalently.
He was so caught up in his thoughts, the sound of his window being slid open only registered as a large body came tumbling into his room. The shock of blonde hair kept him from freaking out, Kendall liked sneaking into his room in the middle of the night sometimes. It was weird at first, but Logan had gotten used to the guy's idiosyncrasies and just rolled with it. It only happened when the blonde was upset anyway.
Kendall landed on the floor with a thud and laid in his curled up position for a moment, groaning in his dramatic way that had Logan covering his mouth to hold back a chuckle.
"It happened." He mumbled into the carpet, the sound barely reaching Logan's ears. "I got this fucking TiMER thing, and it immediately began counting down. I already zeroed out, and I've had the damn thing for less than two hours."
Logan watched Kendall as he rolled over and looked straight up at the ceiling. "Is that so bad?" Logan asked, keeping his own news to himself. His friend was clearly not excited about the news that he was about to meet his one.
"It's not that it's bad so much. But fuck I thought I would have more time, you know?" He covered his face with his large hands and let loose another groan. "When we talked this morning, it just had me thinking that if I got it, it might not be so bad to know that sometime after college I would meet my one. But now...now I'm meeting them today. Today, Logan! I barely had two hours to come to terms with that! I thought I would be given years or something. Not minutes..."
Logan pulled his large comforter off his body, shivering at the chill air coming through his open window as he made his way to crouch next to his friend. He knew what he was feeling, the same emotions running through him. Except, well, Logan didn't even know he had zeroed out until it had happened. "I'm sorry, Kendall. But maybe it won't be so bad. It could even be someone not at school?"
Kendall sighed, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling again. He blinked once then twisted his head to look at Logan, who smiled at him.
Then the chiming began again.
Logan's heart stopped.
And Kendall's eyes widened in shock.
Kendall shot up off the floor, stumbling slightly as a head rush caught up to him as he stared at his wrist where his TiMER continued chiming at him. Logan had flailed backwards until he was resting near his bed side table, nearly knocking over his lamp in his frantic movements, staring at his own wrist.
"No." The brunette breathed. "No, no, no, no." He moaned, his eyes closing against the harsh reality. "This isn't right." He groaned, completely ignoring the other occupant in the room as he bemoaned his existence. "Maybe it's a glitch." He began mumbling to himself.
"Is it really so horrible?"
The softly asked question threw Logan off guard, he had forgotten that Kendall was still in the room with him during his panic attack. The blonde was looking at him sadly, his bright green eyes boring into Logan.
"What?" Logan breathed out, staring at his friend incredulously.
"Is it so horrible? The thought of being with me for the rest of our lives?"
Logan closed his own eyes against the sadness the blonde seemed to be radiating. "Kendall," he began gently, not sure how to convey his feelings into words. "I'm not gay..."
Kendall narrowed his eyes at his friend, tilting his head slightly. "Is it really a matter of gay or straight? I thought the whole point was to meet your soul mate. You're the one who told me that!" He stood up in the middle of his passionate speech, pointing an accusing finger at the brunette who remained curled next to his night stand.
"I know this, okay? I know what I said!" Logan hopped to his feet as well, he could feel the urge to tear up beginning behind his eyes but he refused to let himself cry. "But this has to be a mistake. It has to." He scrubbed his hands over his face.
Kendall scoffed, his face blanking completely afterward. "Yeah...a mistake...let's just forget it. Goodnight Logan." Then he was gone. Before Logan could muster up enough courage to say anything else, he was out the window and gone.
Logan always thought zeroing out on his TiMER would be a joyous occasion. He thought he would let his parents know, who would be so excited to find out who his one would be. What pretty girl would be giving them grandchildren and making their son happy for the rest of his life. They would celebrate with a nice dinner, inviting the girl who would become part of their family when the time was right.
And everyone would be happy. Everything would be normal.
Except now, Logan was stuck with a zeroed out TiMER, a best friend who refused to talk to him, and the weight of his secret bearing down on his shoulders. This was not a celebratory time. There were no toasts to be made in his honor.
He had cornered Kendall the next day at school, and through the chilly reception he had explained the need to keep their zeroing out together a secret. No need to let everyone know they had been matched up when he was absolutely certain it had been a glitch in the system. Why would his TiMER pair him up with another male, he had never shown any interest in the same gender before.
But asking Kendall to keep it a secret had only pushed them further apart. Now, nearly a month later, he was beginning to really miss the close friendship he had with the blonde.
Was it so horrible to be paired with his best friend for the rest of his life? Kendall was the first person in a long time to come along and get to know the real him. The Logan outside of academics and hockey. Sure, he had James and Carlos, who he had known since he was a toddler. But they were so involved in their own lives at this point, it had been nice to have someone who was just there for him.
He had been so isolated since they had started avoiding each other. It was a wonder he had ever survived life day to day before Kendall had appeared. And with every day that he thought that, he began wondering why he had never realized before how close he was to the blonde.
It wasn't a sudden realization. Not at all. He didn't just wake up and think "yeah, I guess I am in love with Kendall after all."
No, it was more relaxed. Something that had just always been there. More of a "I already love him as my friend, could there be more?" type of slow burn.
He began watching Kendall in the halls at school. Reevaluating every little feeling he had ever felt for his friend. Like when he laughed, the way his face lit up and he would sometimes throw his head back and just let out this boisterous sound that had everyone around him chuckling just because it was so ridiculous. That had always made Logan's stomach jump. In a way he had always interpreted to mean he liked the fact that he had made his friend laugh.
Except now, he wasn't the one making him laugh. And now, that jump in the pit of his stomach had become more longing. Like he wished he was the one making him laugh more than anything. And maybe it was the TiMERs influence that was making him suddenly feel these very gay feelings toward his friend.
But maybe that was the point of the TiMERS. Maybe they didn't necessarily pick someone for you, but show you someone you're meant for. Even if it's the least likely person or gender, maybe the purpose is to open your eyes a little and show you how wonderful of a life you can have if you just stop making assumptions about yourself.
The more time he spent thinking about it, the more it made sense. And maybe that was a little messed up, but then again, maybe the feelings had always been there, he had just refused to see it. It was all so confusing anyway, there was no true way of knowing for sure.
All Logan knew, was that every time he saw Kendall, his heart thudded a little louder and his palms would begin to sweat. And none of it had anything to do with him worrying about their secret coming out.
Maybe that's just how simple love really could be.
It was about a week after he had come to the conclusion that he wanted his best friend back in his life that the world blew up in his face. He had decided, resolutely, that even if they couldn't necessarily say they were in love at that point, he was more than willing to let it all work itself out. He didn't care if it took them years to get to the point of marriage or whatever it was they could do in this state, but he refused to be without his best friend anymore.
The hard part was finding a way to let Kendall know all of this. The blonde was very adamant about keeping his distance. It made things difficult.
Especially when Logan was already so nervous about talking to him. It wasn't very often that you professed your almost love to your best friend because you finally accepted that you're meant to be together for the rest of your lives.
He spotted the blonde after a few minutes of searching. He was standing in front of a row of lockers, talking to Camille, one of the weird drama girls that attended their school. Logan had never carried on a full conversation with her, probably because the first day of school she had used him as a slapping post as she did a drive by audition practice on him. He preferred to keep his distance after that.
Logan hadn't known that Kendall was getting closer to her. But they kept a certain amount of distance between them, which generally meant there wasn't anything but friendship between them. Something that made Logan deflate in relief. He was nervous enough just talking to his former friend, having to compete with a new girlfriend just would have made it ten times harder.
Now, being pushed into a set of lockers had not been on his list. He looked up at Ozzy, the school bully who was leering down at him with a sadistic looking smirk. Logan looked up at him from his slouched position, the back of his head throbbing slightly. He had never really had any issues with bullies, considering he was on the hockey team and all.
"Hey fag." The larger male spat at him, thumbing at his nose like some kind of cliche. "I heard you zeroed out. And you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with Knight. Never pegged you as one to take it in the ass." He was loud enough that everyone in the general vicinity was now watching the two of them. Logan picked himself up off the ground and dusted his trousers, glaring at the wider male.
"Not that it's any of your business, or anything. So why don't you butt out, Ozzy?" He seethed, his fists clenching next to his hip. Logan may be small, but he wasn't on a sports team that dealt out more injuries than most for nothing. Sure the back of his head still twinged from the impact with metal, but that was nothing to being checked into the boards over ten times in one game. He could handle it.
What he couldn't handle was the look Kendall was sending their way. He looked absolutely horrified. And when he made eye contact with Logan, he quickly turned away and ran off to class. Logan shoved past Ozzy, but he wasn't quick enough to catch up to his one. He sighed in defeat before heading off toward his own class.
He was prepared for the whispers that would begin. He hadn't even bothered to deny the accusations, why lie? He had already come to terms with it, why should he try to hide it anymore? But the looks he received from peers he had up until that point never had a problem with, that bothered him.
Honestly, though, he was more focused on trying to find a way to get Kendall to talk to him again. Everyone else could wait. But damn, that blonde could become invisible when he wanted to.
After school that day, once he was finally out in the fresh air, he was finally able to see his one without any obstacles in the way.
"Kendall!" He called out as the blonde was walking down one of the sidewalks leading away from the school. Logan watched his shoulders hunch a little, but the other boy didn't turn around and acknowledge him. He was about to go stalking after him to make him listen to him, but it felt as if his whole body was being held back.
Which, with Ozzy grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and jerking him backwards, that wasn't such an unfeasible thought. The behemoth of a boy was grinning down at him, a few of his cronies surrounding them. Logan rolled his eyes at them. How much more of a stereotype could one bully become?
"What do you want?" Logan spat, jerking away from the large boy's meat hooks. He may have been predestined to end up in a homosexual relationship, but it was very obvious that he still held no attraction to the same gender minus Kendall.
"Ooh, the little fag has fangs!" Ozzy taunted, his friend grinning and chuckling. He wasn't as large as the ring leader, but he was big enough that should Logan be able to fight off Ozzy, he would have barely enough energy to defend himself.
"Ozzy, I don't have time for your bullshit right now. I need to go talk to Kendall, so please remove your overly large hands from my person before I have to knock you over like the Chrysler building." Ozzy quirked an eyebrow at him in confusion for a moment; Logan wasn't aware that he had used that many big words.
"Listen fag, I'm not really sure what you're supposed to mean by all that. But talking to your boyfriend can wait until after I've smashed your face into the concrete." Then Logan found himself face to face with the curb, an ache in his cheek that he would've worried about indicating breakage had he really cared at the moment. He felt one kick to his hip, but it was all amazingly quick to stop.
Logan looked up dazedly just in time to see Kendall kicking Ozzy in the butt, knocking him to the ground as well. Ozzy stood up, his knuckles cracking as his jaw clenched, staring down the only slightly shorter blonde.
"Fuck with him one more time, and you'll regret it." Kendall murmured darkly, pointing directly in the larger male's face. Logan shuddered at the raw anger the blonde's tone held. Ozzy huffed before turning around and stalking away.
Kendall turned around and held out a hand for Logan, his eyes wide in shock. "I can't believe that worked..." He mumbled, scratching at his neck. He fidgeted for a moment, looking over his shoulder worriedly. "Uh...can we go now? I really don't want them coming back." Logan chuckled slightly, reaching out and grabbing his friend's hand and dragging him away at a slow jog.
When they were a good distance away from the school, where they were sure Ozzy wouldn't be able to round up an anti-gay posse to lynch them or something, they stopped to catch their breaths. Kendall walked forwards, collapsing into a swing in the dramatic way that Logan had been missing lately.
Logan sat in the seat next to him, swinging slightly as he struggled to find the right words to begin the conversation he knew they needed to have.
"Kendall..." He trailed off, unsure of the words coming out of his mouth. Despite being considered a genius, he was horrible when it came to these types of things. He just wished it were as easy as saying hi to someone. Just deeper. Coming right out and saying 'I want to love you' wasn't so easy sometimes.
"Yeah, Logan?" Kendall was looking at him blankly. Logan knew that was just him not wanting to get his hopes up only to have to handle another rejection. The brunette pursed his lips nervously.
"I'm sorry I freaked out on you when our TiMERs chimed together. Honestly, I never expected my one to actually be a guy. I've never felt attracted to another guy..." He trailed off and watched Kendall intently. "Until you, that is."
Kendall's bangs swished as he turned sharply to fully face Logan. "What?" He gasped out, his jaw going a little slack as he stared at the brunette. "What are you saying, Logan?"
Logan reached out and grabbed Kendall's hand. "I'm saying...I'm not in love with you. Yet." He said resolutely, watching the blonde deflate a little. "But if my TiMER was meant to zero out with anyone, I'm really glad it's you. And I want us to take things slow, because I can see myself being happy with you." He could feel a blush covering his cheeks as he admitted the things he had been thinking the last few weeks. "And...I can't wait to fall in love with you."
Kendall smiled brightly at him, squeezing his hand as he let out an awed chuckle. "I'll take it. As long as you're open to being with me, then we can be happy. I want to make you happy. And we've still got plenty of time." He played with Logan's fingers as he watched their hands bashfully. "I do have to confess something, though."
Logan quirked an eyebrow at him. "What?" When Kendall didn't respond immediately, he scoffed. "Seriously, what's the point in keeping secrets now?" Kendall's face flooded with color as he hesitated, fidgeting with the chain links on his swing.
"I've kind of had a crush on you for the past year." Logan reeled back, shaking his head with a tiny smile on his lips.
"Wait, what?" If Kendall had told him that two months ago, he'd have been horrified, and possibly a little awkward. But now, it was just kind of funny.
"That's one of the reasons I was really against this whole TiMER thing. I already knew who I was in love with." He shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. "I didn't want to get one of these damn things only to find out that there's some other guy out there who would make me happy for the rest of my life, when really, I just wanted you."
Logan groaned and leaned his head into his free hand. "Oh god, Kendall. I'm so sorry. I freaked out on you, and ...oh, I'm so so sorry." He sighed, wincing as he turned his head back to the blonde. "I feel like the world's biggest douche."
"Yeah...you were kinda douchey." Kendall laughed softly before pulling their swings close enough for him to slip an arm around Logan's shoulders. "But you came around, so it'll only take me half the time to get over it." Logan almost wanted to wipe that smart ass smirk off of his face.
"Yeah yeah. Alright Mr. Knight. I think we need to go and let our parents know that we've zeroed out now." The brunette rolled his eyes as he stood up, pulling Kendall up with him. He looked between them at their intertwined hands, and instead of it freaking him out, he felt more calm than anything. Maybe it wouldn't be too long for them to actually begin this thing and turn it into a real relationship.
Kendall pulled him to a halt as he began walking away. "Wait. If we end up getting married..." Kendall began, his thick eyebrows knitting together as he thought. And the mention of marriage didn't scare Logan nearly as much as it probably should have if he were truly straight as an arrow. "Who is gonna change their last name?" Logan squinted at him, the random question throwing him slightly off guard.
"Uh, both of us? We'll hyphenate it, of course. My last name will come first, naturally." Kendall began nodding his consent, then stopped himself and shook his head.
"Wait, why does your name get to go first?" They began walking toward Logan's neighborhood, he figured it was time to finally let his parents know who they were going to be welcoming into the family in the next couple of years.
"Because mine sounds cooler?" Logan asked, shrugging.
And as they walked away to announce themselves officially, Logan smiles as he listened to the long list of reasons why Kendall thought his name sounded much cooler than Logan's.
What could he say, the TiMERs really did work.