Title: Gonna Find Out
Author: Beer Good
Word Count: 250
Summary: Of course there's a Santa Claus. The question is who he is.
"Santa Claus: Kindly old elf, or CIA spook?"
- Calvin And Hobbes
Gonna Find Out
After standing in line at the mall for 20 minutes, little Timmy couldn't wait to sit on Santa's lap. But even so, as his mom lifted him onto one red-clad knee, the five-year-old couldn't help shooting Santa a wary look. There seemed to be something under his hat, and...
"Ho ho - no pulling Santa's beard, please."
"Santa's beard looks funny."
"It most certainly..." Santa cleared his throat and put on his cheeriest voice. "Nevermind. So, what do you wish for for Christmas, Timmy my lad?"
"Oh!" Timmy started counting off on his fingers. "I want Cars 3, and that video game where they chase that thing, and a laser gun but not a toy one but a real one like what they have on TV, and - "
"Yes, yes... That's all well and good, but you know, Santa always knows who's naughty or nice."
Timmy looked distraught. "I've been good!"
"Of course you have! But are you sure there isn't someone who's been naughty this year, who you wish would get some coal in their stocking, hmmm?" Seeing Timmy's blank reaction, he added a hopeful "...Ho ho ho?"
Timmy thought about it, then smiled brightly. "I want a pony!"
D'Hoffryn groaned inwardly as Timmy got off his lap and was replaced by another starry-eyed little tyke who promptly sneezed right in his face. He really needed to find a replacement for Halfrek... Or at least hire some vengeance elves.