Remember When...

I pull my coat tighter around my body as I make the short walk from my car to the house. It's snowing and I'm freezing my ass off. I slip my key in the door, twist is and am soon engulfed in the warmth of our home.

"DADDY!" a screaming four year old comes running down the stairs, and I quickly realise that if I don't kneel down, he's gonna head butt me in the balls. So I squat down, just as he crashes into me. Wrapping him in my arms, I kiss his head.

"Hey buddy" I murmur into his hair, which he unfortunately inherited from me.

"Daddy, Santa's coming tonight" he giggles. He's already dressed in his PJ's, ready for bed.

"I know, and you've been such a good boy this year" I laugh as he does his little excited wiggle and jumps up and down.

"Grandma Esme's making me cookies"

Just then my Mom's head pops out of the kitchen door "Hi sweetie"

"hey Mom. Where's Bella?" I ask. The day before Christmas she's usually the one baking cookies. Actually she's usually more excited about it then Josh.

"she's erm..." she hesitates "She's having another sad day. She called me after lunch" I sigh loudly at her response. I'd expected this, but the reality makes me disappointed even still.

"why didn't she call me?" she knew I'd come home for her. Be there for her.

"She knew you had that big meeting today. Anyway I've just finish cookies, so Josh why don't you come have one with a glass of milk" Josh, happily skips into the kitchen and my mother gives me a sympathetic smile before following him.

I shrug out of my coat, before climbing the stairs. Bella and I had married five years ago. We'd purposefully waited a year before we got pregnant, and there wasn't a more beautiful slight then my Bella pregnant with my baby. Josh was a beautiful baby, and Bella swears he's the spitting image of me.

We had three amazing years and I honestly didn't think it could get any better, but earlier this year, Bella told me she was pregnant again. We were absolutely elated and became more and more excited every day.

Which is why it killed us so badly when she miscarried. She was 15 weeks pregnant and I'd honestly hadn't felt pain like it. After weeks of us both moping, we talk and decided we wouldn't try again until she was ready.

Neither of us had spoken about the baby for months, until one day at breakfast Bella quietly said.

"She would have been born today" I hadn't realised it had been the baby's due date. After that, Bella started talking more and more about the baby. She got it into her head that the baby would have been a girl and at one point even started naming the girl. I got so worried about her I took us both to therapy.

We've been going for a couple weeks now, and it's helping loads. We're communicating more and I finally feel like I understand what's going on in her head. But every so often, usually days that are designed for the family, she'll get depressed and just want to curl up on her own. There her 'sad days' she tells Josh.

I asked the therapist and she said it's normal, and I should just be there for her.

Our bedroom door creaked as I opened it, but she didn't move. She's curled up on her side of the bed, looking out the window at the snow falling, the room pitch black.

I join her on the bed, and spoon her body to mine. I give her a kiss on her neck in greeting, but don't speak. I just hold her.

After a few minutes of watching the snow, I speak.

"do you remember when we first met?" I hear her give a laugh through her nose, and I see her lips curve up into a smile, but she says nothing.

"we were on opposing teams for that stupid quiz night our friends were determined to have. You'd just moved here a few days earlier and had unfortunately bumped into Alice at the grocery store, and she'd somehow convinced you to be on her team." I chuckle at he memory and she lets out a little giggle.

"You walked in, and nobody had a clue who you were. It was some entrance as well." I press my face into her neck and let out a slight moan at the memory of her in the tight sweater. She releases a beautiful giggle. Not a small one, a loud happy one.

A Bella giggle.

Knowing I was on the right track with this story, I continue.

"I spent a few moments admiring how heartbreakingly gorgeous you were, then I turned to Jasper and said..." I trailed off, knowing she knew the line better than any one else.

"That's the girl I'm going to marry" She croaked out. I can see a stray tear falling down her cheek as her face is aglow in the moonlight. I quickly wipe it away. "but how? How did you know?" I sigh, she always asks this question. I think she feels the story is incomplete without the answer.

"because I just knew. I knew it was love at first sight" she lets out a long breath, as though she'd been panicking that I wasn't going to answer with the usual.

We snuggle for a few minutes longer, and she let's me hold her. I'm presently surprised when she breaks the silence.

"how you got me to marry you after our first date I'll never know" she teases. I groan into her neck, at the hideous memory, but tell her to 'remind me' any way. I just want to hear her voice.

"you'd asked your brother for help, because you really wanted to impress me. So Emmett gave you the name of a new bar that'd opened up in Port Angeles. He'd heard it was meant to be awesome. I got all dressed up and you wore that suit, and then..." she broke off in a fit of laughter.

"and then..."she's speaks through her laughter "it turn out to be a transvestite bar" and I groan again at how humiliated I'd been in front of the one girl I actually wanted to impress. Emmett got his ass handed to him after that stunt.

"and just when we think it can't get any worse" she carried on "you get yourself arrested"

"oh yeah" I remember him...her, now "he was a jack ass. He devised that punch"

"that's what made me fall in love with you, ya know?"

"what was? Me fighting with a transvestite?"

"no" she giggles "when he came up to us and said to me 'Oh my God, you could actually pass' and you got so pissed off, and so defensive. It was actually really sexy" I laugh out loud at that. Only she would think that, that was sexy.

"I love you, baby" I whisper into the darkness.

"I love you too. I want to be better for you"

"we're getting through this together. It's been a hard year, but we've come out the other end. We're still together and I'm never letting you go"

A few more moments go by before I feel her sitting up. "come on. Let's got enjoy Christmas eve with our son"

We hold hands as we make our way down stairs. Following the loud giggles we find our son and my mother sat under the Christmas tree, squeezing presents and trying to guess what's in each of them. And I know for a fact, that had he been doing that with Bella, they would have already opened them, see the gift and then re-wrapped them trying to fool me. I couldn't count the amount of times one Christmas morning when Bella would be unwrapping gifts from me that were in different paper from when I'd originally wrapped them in. It didn't take long for me to stop putting her presents under the tree and just hiding them till Christmas day.

"Mommy, Daddy, I think Grandpa Charlie gots me a train! A wed one!" Josh gushed, holding up a rectangle box. How he got a train out of that shape I'll never know, much less a red one, or a wed one as he says, but I nod and say 'ohhh maybe' and chuckle at his excited face.

"well, I better be going. Grandfather Carlisle is going to be wondering where I've gotten to" My mother laughs as she hugs her grandson.

"thank you so much, Esme" Bella whispers and my mother hugs her.

"any time sweetheart. You know I'm always here for you" she hugs me and after not allowing me to drive her home, I ask her to call and let me know she got home safely due to the bad weather.

"how 'bout we watch a Christmas movie before bed" I suggest, noting that although it's 6.30pm, and the movie will end after his bedtime, I know he will be unable to sleep tonight anyway.

"But Daddy" he shakes his head, looking out the window "Santa won't come if I'm not asleep. And's midnight" he points out the window at the blackness.

"Hey" Bella pulls him into a one of those mom cuddles, and just like me, he's unable to resist cuddling into her "would Daddy let you stay up if it meant Father Christmas not coming?"

he shook his head, which is now resting against her chest. We decide to watch 'Disney's a Christmas Carol' and all snuggle up on the couch. I have Josh sat on my lap, and Bella cuddled into my side.

Sitting here with my family, I can see that next year's going to be better than this year. I'll make sure of it.

a/n: just a short 1st chapter. I dunno when I'm gonna update, I already have too many stories going but, I'll update when I can.

Next chapter will be a flashback of their first meeting.

Please review if you want more.