If you asked him why, he'd tell you he didn't know. He'd probably stutter and change the subject, or just snap angrily at you until you let it drop. If you asked him where his obsession stemmed from he'd just shake his head and deny, saying he had no idea what you were talking about.
But he knows it's obvious. He knows everybody can see it.
When it started, he truly was unsure. He can't recall exactly when he started going out of his way to touch, to sit next to, to talk whenever he could to the object of his obsession. He liked to lie to himself, telling himself it was just a crush, that there was nothing unhealthy with the way he felt about his friend. It's completely normal, he would utter on his worst days, on the days the obsession, the feelings, became too much, the longing to just reach out and touch nearly overwhelming.
Because James couldn't ever let himself slip up.
He could never let Kendall know just how deep James was in.
If he could ever be labeled as one thing, James Maslow would be labeled as confident. He had the body, the voice, the look, the whole package. But when it came to Kendall Schmidt, James lost every ounce of confidence he'd ever had. It was simply the way Kendall was, the way he was so tall and lanky but yet so smooth and muscular, the way not showering for a day or two just worked for him, the way he could just take scissors to a ratty old t-shirt and convert it to a tanktop and make it the sexiest piece of clothing James had ever seen, the way beanies seemed so at home perched on top of his sandy blond hair, the way his eyebrows arched over his shiny green eyes, that made James lose every ounce of self confidence he'd built up over his entire lifetime.
James sighed, leaning back against the chair he was sitting in, throwing his feet up on the coffee table. He was barely paying attention to the show he had on his TV, simply scrolling along his Twitter feed, stopping when he saw a tweet from Kendall that kind of made his heart hurt.
Merry Christmas, everybody! Oh, and happy 5th day of Hanukkah to my favorite Jew. You know who you are. ;)
James smiled fondly at the tweet, his heart fluttering slightly at the way Kendall had written "my favorite Jew." He tapped the 'reply,' typing out a quick thanks, man! we still on for tonight? before exiting the Twitter app and pocketing his phone.
Last week, he and Kendall had made plans to spend Christmas - and the fifth day of Hanukkah - together, since both Logan and Carlos had headed home for the holidays, leaving them on their own. Kendall had gleefully dubbed the day 'Christukkah,' insisting he cook a whole turkey for dinner, since James was being so kind to have him over that day. James had to practically fight him to convince him that a whole turkey was way too much for just the both of them, finally convincing Kendall - after hours of arguing - to just make chicken instead.
That was another thing about Kendall that got James - the way he was so stubborn and passionate about things, even something as simple as cooking a turkey for Christukkah, or something as important as the music he writes. James sighed; thinking about Kendall just made him sad, knowing the way he felt about that hipster blond would never be reciprocated. He knew Kendall well enough to know he wasn't into guys at all, that making James's heart break the tiniest bit every time Kendall talked about a new girl he fancied.
James both heard and felt his phone buzz in his pocket, his brow furrowing as he took it out, sliding his thumb across the screen to unlock it. His brows were still bunched together as he saw a notification from twitter, opening it, a smile spreading across his face as he saw who the notification was from.
Of course! There's no way I'm missing Christukkah. Even though you're making me make chicken :l
James smiled wider, punching out a quick response. You know a turkey would be way too much food! Don't be angry because I'm right. He hit the 'tweet' button, his leg bouncing in anticipation for Kendall's reply.
He knew it was a bit insane to stare at his phone waiting for Kendall's response, his heart jumping a little every time the '1 new tweet' button appeared, but hey, he'd excepted that he was nowhere near sane when it came to Kendall a long time ago.
His phone buzzed, Call from: Kendall (: displayed on the screen. The phone barely vibrated twice before James was tapping the 'answer,' holding the phone up to his ear. "Hello?"
"We could've eaten the whole turkey, okay!"
James snorted a laugh, his stomach twisting a little at how perfect Kendall really was. He'll never be yours, James. You'll never have him.
"No we could not have! A whole turkey would have been way too much, Kendall. and you know that."
Kendall grumbled something intelligible, James grinning wide. "We could've shared the leftovers," Kendall mumbled, James laughing admiringly.
"I'm sure we could have. But you can only eat something so much before you're sick of it."
Kendall made a dissatisfied noise. "I hate when you're right."
"Get used to it."
"Jew." Kendall spat, the menacing tone not fooling James in the least - he could hear the cackles Kendall was trying to repress.
"Token." James agreed. "So when you coming over? It's almost four," James couldn't stop the whine that seeped into his voice.
"I'm on my way now, actually." Kendall stated.
"Talking on the phone while driving? That's dangerous, Kendall."
"Shut up, you do it all the time."
"I have bluetooth."
"So do I."
James grinned, heart at war with his brain. He loved moments like these, where he and Kendall exchanged nothing but playful banter, going back and forth until one cracked. "Just keep driving, Schmidt. I'm waiting."
"I'm like five minutes away. Keep your pants on."
"You'd love if I took my pants off."
"Maybe." Kendall said, and James could tell by the tone of his voice that he was smiling. Or smirking. Either one.
James sighed. God, how I wish he wasn't joking. "Hang up and call me when you're here, okay?"
"'Kay," Kendall chirped. "See ya in a bit."
"Bye." and with that, James hung up.
He tossed his phone onto the cushion next to him, sighing as he sunk down into his own.
Things with Kendall always went down like that - shameless flirting over texts, over phone calls, face time chats. They would always get his heart thundering, his cheeks flushing, his body tingling with the thought of what might be. But yet he was always shot down by that little voice in his head, the one who kept him at bay, the reasonable side. Always throwing in a he's straight James. He's just playing around. Just because you're bi, that doesn't mean he is. He loves girls. Stop hurting yourself like this.
James wished he could. He wished he could quit Kendall cold turkey, quit those green eyes, those dimples, that cackle, that winning smile. Just quit it and never look back.
If only it were that easy.
Its the ever-cheesy metaphor, but Kendall was truly like a drug to James. He legitimately felt a high whenever he was the cause of Kendall's laugh, Kendall's smile. He found himself always drifting as close as he could to Kendall, whether it was during an interview or a concert or they were simply chilling at his or Kendall's or Logan's or Carlos's place. He'd shamelessly push Carlos or Logan out of the way just to get closer to Kendall, his other band mates grumbling at him, but never protesting it, as they knew what was going on inside James's head. Just tell him, dammit! Was one of Logan's favorite lines to spit at James after these times, James just shaking his head and giving the line that had been coming out of his mouth more and more. I can't.
He could tell Kendall, if he truly wanted to, but there was still that nagging little voice in his head holding him back. Tell him, and he'll hate you. He'll be disgusted by you. It will ruin the band. He won't want to work with a guy who's undressing him with his eyes whenever they're in the same room. Keep quiet. You'll be so much better off.
But he wouldn't be.
A muffled buzz came from the couch cushion, James digging his phone out from where it'd sunk into the couch, unable to stop the smile that spread across his face as he once again read that he was getting a call from Kendall (:. It made his chest feel all tight and fluttery, because Kendall was the one who'd added the smiley face after his name in James's phone, and added a winky face after James's name in his own. The fact that Logan and Carlos didn't have anything special after their names in Kendall's phone made it that much more endearing. James wanted to read into that, but he stopped himself. Like he stopped himself every time. You're just closer with him that the others. That's why he did it. He doesn't want you.
James shut himself out, answering his phone as he held it to his ear. "You're here?"
"Yup," Kendall chirped on the other end. "I have presents and food! Come outside and help me bring everything in."
"Be down in a sec," James said, Kendall getting in a quick little 'Okay!' before James was hanging up, bounding over to his foyer to slip on his shoes on, racing out the door of his house, grinning when he saw Kendall's back end sticking out of the open door of his back seat.
"You needed help?" James asked, Kendall giving a started squawk, spinning out out of his car. "God, you scared me! Give a guy some warning, will ya?"
James just stared.
Kendall was dressed in a red and black striped sweater - another covered in holes, of course - light blue jeans, his favorite gray vans, a Santa hat perched atop his blond mop of hair to finish the outfit off.
He was stunning. And he didn't even have to try.
"James?" Kendall's brow furrowed, his hand waving in James's frozen face. "Earth to the Jew! Hel~lo?"
James cleared his throat. "Erm, sorry, sorry. What do you need me to take?"
Me, James wished. But instead Kendall said "I just need you to grab the bags with the gifts."
James nodded, coming around to where Kendall had ducked back into his car. "Here," Kendall shoved one bag out, James taking it. He peered inside, Kendall seeming to sense it, as he glared back at James, snapping a "Don't look!" before turning back to the other bags in his car.
"That's it?" James asked when Kendall slammed his car door shut, three bags strung on each of his arms.
"Just about," the blond grinned, digging into one of the bags on his right arm - with slight difficulty, of course - and pulling out another Santa hat.
That was blue. And decorated with white Stars of David. "You didn't," James snorted as Kendall tossed it to him, the brunette turning it over in his hands before placing it on his head.
"Well, it is Christukkah."
"Indeed it is."
"James, get the rolls! They're gonna burn!"
"Shit!" James cursed as he ripped the oven open, only barely remembering to slip on an oven mitt before grabbing the pan that held the crescent shaped dinner rolls on it out from the oven. Thankfully, the surface of the rolls was still a pleasant golden brown, not burnt at all. "They're not burnt." James pointed out, Kendall letting out a sigh of relief as he worked over the chicken.
"I see that," Kendall chuckled, shaking the last bit of the seasoning he wanted onto the chicken before clapping his hands in victory. "There, chicken's done!" James couldn't help the warmth that spread through him at Kendall's triumphant grin, his eyes crinkling at the corners. James's smile faltered as his thoughts rang out over his mind. He'll never want you like that.
"It looks good," James sniffed the air, the chicken's delicious aroma filling his nose. "Can't wait to taste it. Can't wait to taste everything, actually."
Can't wait to taste you.
No! No, stop thinking of him like that. Self-preservation, James. You're doing nothing but hurting yourself every time you think those things about him.
James shook those thoughts from his mind as his eyes scanned over his kitchen counter, the surface littered with the multiple things Kendall had brought and/or cooked scattered on the surface - the chicken, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, the crescent rolls, corn, and a steaming pumpkin pie. James smiled as he took in the pie, knowing Kendall had chosen it because it was James's favorite.
"Then grab a plate, and dig in," Kendall ordered, grabbing his own plate fork, stabbing into one of the chicken breasts and throwing it onto the plate in his hand. James followed his lead, unceremoniously grabbing the chicken with his hands as he threw it onto his plate. He went for the cranberries next, at the same time Kendall did, their hands brushing for a split second as they reached for the spoon at the same time, James jerking away immediately at the electric current that seemed to pass from his hand into Kendall's. "You okay?" Kendall asked as James jerked away.
"I'm fine," James snapped, regretting it instantly. "I'm fine, I promise," he assured again, the bite completely erased from his voice.
"Alright," Kendall said, voice obviously apprehensive. He snatched up one of the cranberries, offering James the spoon when he was done. "Thanks," James muttered, careful not to let his skin touch Kendall's again.
They grabbed the rest of their food before moving to the dining room, each taking a seat at each end of the table. "Oh crap, drinks!" James groaned when he sat, shooting back up and into the kitchen to grab the bottle of sparkling cider he's bought just for this dinner. "Got it," he grinned at Kendall when he came back out, the blond giving a smile in return.
"Sparkling cider?" Kendall questioned as James popped the bottle, pouring the drink into the wine glass he'd set out in from of Kendall.
"Y-yeah," James stuttered, trying not to catch Kendall's eye. "I um, thought you'd like it."
"I do," Kendall said and James made the mistake of looking up, his eyes locking with Kendall's, his body going a little bit numb. He was pulled out of his trance when Kendall let out a squawk, James realizing he'd over-poured the cider, spilling it all over the table, some dripping onto Kendall's pants. "Dude!" Kendall called, his pants being soaked.
"Oh, fuck!" James slammed the bottle down onto the table, scurrying out into the kitchen to get a towel to mop up the mess. He rushed back out, Kendall up out of his chair. James desperately tried to mop up the spill. "Shit, Kendall, I'm sorry, I-"
James's sentence teetered off as a familiar sound reached his ears - a familiar cackle, one he knew better than anyone's. His eyes flicked up to confirm what his ears had suspected: Kendall's face lit up in a grin as he laughed.
Laughed at him.
"Why are you laughing at me?" James asked, his face flushing to his chagrin.
"Because you're funny," Kendall said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You're acting like some spilled cider is like, the end of the world. And like spilling it on me was even worse."
"You - you're not mad?"
Kendall snorted. "Why would I be mad?"
James shrugged. "I don't know, I just thought -"
"You think way too much."
James sighed, throwing the towel down onto the table. "Guess I do," he murmured.
"James." Kendall said. His voice was serious, James's brow furrowing at the sudden change. His eyes met Kendall's again.
"Are you okay?" Kendall asked, concern creasing his features. "And don't give me any bullshit. I can see something's going on with you."
Why do you have to see through me like that? Why do you have to make me want to tell you everything? I hate that about you. I hate that you have this hold on me.
"It's just," James shook his head. "I don't know. You're choosing to spend Christmas with me instead of with your family. I just don't want you to regret not staying home for the holidays." The brunette's voice teetered out at the end. Kendall's expression was perplexed, his eyebrows knitted together, lips set in a firm line.
"I would never regret spending Christmas with you," Kendall murmured. "You're my best friend, James. And since you couldn't get to your family for the holidays, I wanted to be your family on Christmas."
See? He only wants to be your family. He wants nothing more. Give up on him.
"Thanks," James gave Kendall a small, reassuring smile. "Now c'mon and eat. We don't want the food getting cold now, do we?"
Kendall smiled back, his green eyes displaying some emotion James couldn't quite place. "No sir, we do not."
James gathered the towel up from where he'd tossed it down, running off to the kitchen and tossing it onto the counter. He waltzed back into the dining room, sighing fondly when he caught sight of Kendall leaning back in his chair, drumming his hands on the table. "You haven't started eating?"
Kendall shook his head. "I was waiting for you."
James couldn't stop the way his heart clenched when Kendall said that. He wanted so badly to go over to Kendall and kiss him senseless, but instead he settled for walking over to his end of the table and sitting down in his chair. "Dig in," he murmured, picking up his fork, stabbing it into his chicken, pulling off a piece and sticking it into his mouth. "Damn, this is good," he murmured in appreciation. Kendall beamed.
"Of course it is," Kendall snorted. "I'm an awesome cook. Don't you know?"
"I don't need to be. I know I kick ass."
"Sure you do."
"Hey!" Kendall pouted. "Don't doubt my magnificence."
"What magnificence?" James joked halfheartedly. He couldn't even joke about that. Kendall was magnificent in every way James could name. He'll never be yours.
"Shut up and eat your food, Jew," Kendall grumbled, poking at his mashed potatoes.
"You know I was just kidding, right?" James asked, a little concerned by the way Kendall seemed genuinely upset.
"Yeah, I know," Kendall murmured, though it did nothing to soothe James's conscience.
"I'm serious," James persisted. "You are amazing Kendall, okay?"
Kendall's lips curved up slightly at the corners before he was throwing his head back and cackling like a hyena. "So you admit it!" He howled, James scowling as he realized the joke that had been played on him.
"God, you're an ass!"
"Its not my fault you fell for it!"
"Shut up!" James snapped, the laughter he'd been trying to hold down bubbling to the surface. "Just eat your damn food."
"Aye, aye, captain!" Kendall gave a salute before turning his attention back to his food.
They ate in silence after that, Kendall flicking an occasional corneal of corn at James, James flicking one back in retaliation, grinning wide at Kendall's childishness.
"God, that was good," James groaned contently, setting his fork down on his empty plate.
Kendall let out a belch, leaning back in his chair. "It was," he agreed, his eyes lighting up at whatever thought had seeped into his mind. "Let's go open presents!"
"You are such a damn kid, you know that?" James teased, pushing himself back from the table, gathering his and Kendall's plates in his hands.
"Dude, it's Christmas. Opening presents is tradition. I'm not a kid." Kendall countered.
"Whatever you say, Blondie," James snickered, taking the plates out into the kitchen and dumping them into the sink. By the time he walked back into the dining room, Kendall had already ran into the living room, and was sitting under the Christmas tree - James insisted it wasn't a Christmas tree, but a Hanukkah Bush as he and his family would always get - a bunch of presents scattered around him and his Santa hat back atop his head. "I sorted them," he explained when James asked what the hell he was doing with the gifts.
"Which ones are mine, then?" James asked, sitting down under the tree across from the blond. He noticed his own Santa had in Kendall's lap, boldly reaching out and taking it, setting it atop his brunette head. Kendall threw him a look, James just brushing it off.
"These," Kendall said, pushing three of the wrapped gifts over to James.
"I don't know why you felt the need to sort the gifts," James laughed, "Its not like we wrapped them in the same paper."
"Quiet, you," Kendall grumbled. "Just open them, okay?"
"Alright," James said, grabbing one of the smaller gifts and slipping a finger under one of the folds of the wrapping paper, Kendall doing the same. "On three, ready? One, two, three!"
James ripped off the paper at the same time Kendall ripped his, an eyebrow raising at the slender white box revealed to him.
Before he could question it however, Kendall was ripping back into his own box, James grinning as he realized Kendall had opened to present he'd stuck in multiple boxes just to play a tiny trick on the blond. "James, what the hell?" Kendall grumbled, into the third box James had stuffed in.
"There's only one more box, I promise," James said.
Kendall grumbled something James couldn't quite make out, digging into the last box. James bit his lip when Kendall got to the actual present, pulling out the picture and the certificate James had tucked inside.
"James, what's this?" Kendall asked, eyeing the picture of the little Australian Shepherd puppy and the certificate of adoption from the Los Angeles animal shelter that came with it. "You - you got me a puppy?"
"Well, I know how much you miss Sissy because you just moved out of your parents' place and you can't see her all the time, and I know how you've been saying you wanted to get another puppy but a big one this time and well I just wandered over to the animal shelter one day and I saw her and she just seemed like the perfect match and I just adopted her under your name a week later. I mean if you don't like her you could always just take it back I mean I'm sure somebody else will want her-"
"James!" Kendall cut off the blabbering brunette. "This is, wow. She's so cute. Thank you, really. She's, well, she's perfect."
You're perfect. "You have no idea how relieved I am that you like her," James breathed. "Do- do you have a name in mind?"
Kendall pursed his lips, brows drawing together in thought. "Alex, I think. She looks like an Alex."
A small smile tugged at James's lips as he agreed, "Yeah. Yeah, she does."
Can we go pick her up today?"
"I can't believe you were actually listening to me when I was blabbering about missing Sissy," Kendall said.
"I always listen to everything you tell me," James confessed, one of Kendall's eyebrows arching upwards. Shit.
"Y-yeah, I do," James confirmed. Kendall just looked at him with a fond expression that James could figure no explanation to, not saying another word except "Now you open yours," and pointing to the box James had yet to peer inside of.
James took a breath before he opened the box, pushing aside the tissue paper to reveal a blue and gray wool beanie. James picked the hat up, a card falling out from inside it. The brunette recognized the scrawl on the card as Kendall's, reading the words written out. You can wear this when we go to Vail, Colorado for a five-day ski trip.
The brunette's eyes widened in surprise. "My present is a ski trip to Vail?" James gasped. Vail one one of the best ski spots in the United States, James having said multiple times how he wanted to go skiing there, but the resort was so exclusive that it was nearly impossible to book a trip, even if you were semi-famous like he was.
"I know how much you want to go, so I got us a trip." Kendall beamed.
"I know a guy who knows a guy."
James grinned. "Whatever that means. But really Kendall, wow. Thank you."
"No need to thank me."
They both smiled at each other, reaching at the same time for another gift. James went to reach for the smaller gift, Kendall grabbing his wrist to stop him.
"N-no," he said nervously. "Open that one last, please?"
James quirked an eyebrow, but obeyed, picking up the larger box instead.
They ripped into their second gifts, Kendall coming out with a pack of new strings for his guitar and new guitar picks, in a flurry of his favorite colors and designs, James ending up with a bottle of his favorite cologne that he'd run out of last week. They thanked each other again, picking up the last presents from their piles.
"Can I go first?" Kendall asked quickly when James went to rip open the paper on the small box. James nodded, lips mashing into a hard line as he tried to find an explanation for Kendall's sudden timid nervousness. Maybe he thinks I won't like what he got me? Yeah, that's gotta be it.
Kendall ripped into his present, pulling out the simple green and gray beanie. He smiled, pulling the Santa hat from his head and placing the beanie on instead. "There we go," he said quietly. "Um, your turn now."
James smiled, ripping the paper off the small box. His eyes flickered up to Kendall's face, the blond's forehead crinkled in worry as he gnawed on his bottom lip. James focused back on his gift, thumbing in box open, his fingers delving inside and pinching whatever the box held so he could pull it out. His brow furrowed in confusion.
James was cut off as Kendall lunged forward, hands cupping around James's cheeks as the blond smashed his lips down onto his own. James eyes flew open wide in shock as it registered that Kendall had gotten him mistletoe, that Kendall was currently kissing him.
Kendall was kissing him.
Kendall. Was. Kissing. Him.
James gasped, hands shooting up to twine into Kendall's hair, knocking the beanie off his head. James tugged Kendall's hair, pulling him closer and angling his head back to deepen the kiss. Kendall let out a tiny whimper, the sound sending shockwaves buzzing through every fiber of James's being.
James dragged his tongue cautiously along Kendall's bottom lip, hoping, praying, that Kendall wouldn't throw him off. He could've sang in relief when Kendall parted his lips, allowing James tongue to snake in between them, coaxing Kendall's to run along it.
Tongues clashed, James's pushing Kendall's and Kendall's pushing back against James's. James wished they could keep fighting like this forever, but to his extreme dismay, there was a need for this thing called air, forcing James and Kendall to break away from the kiss as they gasped for the breath they'd been denying.
Their foreheads rested close together, neither moving to pull away as they gasped for air.
James was the first to speak, his shock forcing him to choke out the question he'd been screaming in his head since Kendall's lips had landed on his.
"What...was that?" James panted, watching a cherry red color flush over Kendall's cheeks.
"A kiss," Kendall replied simply, James giving a small noise of frustration.
"Obviously. But why?"
"Logan told me to."
James blanched. "What?"
Kendall swallowed hard, leaning back from his proximity to James as he explained. "Well I asked Logan what I should get you because I needed a third present idea, and well he must've been joking or just not really paying attention, and he said 'You should just kiss him,' and I asked him what the hell he meant by that and he sort of let it slip that you had a crush on me or something and that you were bisexual but you hadn't told me because you didn't want to freak me out. And I wanted your third gift to be one of the best ones, so I bought a mistletoe, and well, as you know, when you pulled it out, I kissed you." Kendall shrugged as he finished, and James heart sort of broke.
"Y-you only kissed me because Logan told you you should?" James asked, his voice shaking, barely any louder than a whisper.
Something broke in Kendall's eyes, his hand coming up to cup James's cheek as he leaned forward and planted a gentle, sweet kiss against James's quivering lips.
When Kendall pulled away, he let his nose bump against James's their foreheads pressed together this time. "Logan planted the seed. I kissed you because I wanted to."
James gasped quietly. "You what?"
"I wanted to kiss you, James," Kendall said again. "Been wanting to for a while now."
"Do you not believe me, or something?"
James shook his head. "What about that girl you kept talking about? The one you went on a date with? Kelly?"
"She doesn't exist. I was trying to make you jealous. You'd been ignoring me all that week and I wanted you to pay attention to me again. So I made up Kelly to try to make you jealous."
Kendall smiled. "It did."
"How long have you known?" James asked, desperate to know.
"You, um, l-liked me?"
"About four months now," Kendall confessed. "Or at least, I've accepted I like you more than I should like a normal friend for four month now."
"I've got you beat," James admitted.
Kendall let out a tiny gasp, pulling away from James, who immediately wanted to pull him back. "Three years?"
"I wish I would've known earlier," Kendall said. "I'm sorry you've been waiting so long."
"Waiting for what?" James questioned.
"To be my boyfriend." Kendall stated.
James choked a little on the breath he was taking in. "W-what?"
"Do you not want to be?" Kendall asked, a bit of hurt creeping into his voice.
"God no! I mean yes! Kendall, yes, god, I want to be your boyfriend more than anything. I have for three years."
"Then what are you waiting for?"
James got the hint, grinning as he stood up and grabbed a candy cane of his tree - Hanukkah bush. He sat back down, twirling the candy cane in his hand as his eyes scanned Kendall's face. The blond was grinning his eye-crinkling grin, dimpling in the way he did. James held out the candy cane. "Kendall Schmidt," he began, "by taking this candy cane, you are agreeing to be my boyfriend, and I yours."
"You sound like you're trying to induct me into a cult or some shit," Kendall chortled.
"Just shut up and take the damn candy, okay?" James huffed. "I'm trying to ask you to be my boyfriend, here."
Kendall gave a coy little smile, plucking the candy cane from James's hand. "Thanks, boyfriend," he hummed. "But no, thank you. I can't believe I never realized how you really felt about me. If I knew, this probably would've happened a lot sooner."
"I was so scared that if I told you, you would hate me," James confessed.
"You thought I'd hate you?"
"Any straight guy would think their gay best friend having a crush on them would be disgusting."
"But you're not gay, you're bisexual."
"Is there really a difference? They'd be disgusted either way."
"I wouldn't be."
"You don't know that."
"Actually," Kendall said, ripping open the candy cane and popping it into his mouth, "I do."
"How?" James countered.
"Sexuality doesn't matter to me. I don't care if you're gay, straight, bi, Lebanese-"
"Lebanese in not a sexual orientation."
"You know what I meant."
"Yeah, I do," James smiled.
"Either way, I could never hate you. Ever."
Warmth spread through James's body at the statement. "Come here," James murmured, opening up his arms in invitation. Kendall grinned, scooting over and pressing himself into James's chest, sighing in content when James's arms wrapped around him.
"This is nice," Kendall murmured, pressing his face into James's neck and breathing him in.
"It's not weird?" James couldn't help but ask.
"Not at all," Kendall pressed a kiss under James's jaw, the brunette giving a small coo of happiness. "Been waiting a while for this."
"Nothing even close to waiting three years." James said, Kendall moving to kiss at his chin.
"Sorry about that." His cheek.
"Was never your fault." The corner of his mouth.
"Never?" His lips.
"Never," James confirmed, pulling Kendall back into another kiss.
They shared short, little kisses, Kendall humming with content every so often, and James felt like he was high. Kendall was his now. He was his. And there was no way in Hell that James was ever going to let him go.
"Mine,"James hummed, arms tightening around Kendall's body.
"Yours," Kendall agreed, and James's heart soared.
"Merry Christukkah, babe," Kendall murmured.
"What?" Green eyes stared into hazel. "Not your thing?"
"No, no," James assured, "It's just odd, I guess, to hear you say it. Odd in a nice way."
"Kay, babe," Kendall snickered.
"Shut up," James muttered, poking Kendall in the dimple.
"You didn't say it back," Kendall frowned.
James grinned, kissing Kendall's nose, feeling a but euphoric at the fact that now, whenever he felt the urge to kiss or touch Kendall, he could. "Merry Christukkah, Kay."
"And a Happy New Year," Kendall added.
"Are we gonna spend that together, too?"
"Damn straight we are!" Kendall boomed, and quieter he added: "And I know just how to ring it in."
James shuddered as he realized what Kendall meant, a fresh wave of lust running through him. "God, I can't wait."
Kendall quirked an eyebrow. "Of course you would interpret it in that way, pervert."
James frowned. "Shut up, you totally meant it in a perverted way."
"Don't contradict me!"
"Don't be an ass!"
James's grin spread over his face almost immediately. "Boyfriend," he hummed.
"Merry Christukkah, babe," Kendall said again, planting another kiss on to James's upturned lips.
"A Merry Christukkah indeed."
Welp, this was Alex's (Dirty Work)'s Christmas present. (She's drawing me stripper!kenlos in exchange, aw yea)
I promised her kames fluff with angst even though this turned out to be nothing but a disgusting mess of disgusting fluff. Oh well.
Thoughts are always nice.