Author's Notes: Written for OCDdegrassi's Dirty Harry Potter Pick-Up Lines Competition on the HPFC forum.

You know two people who probably shouldn't use cheesy pick-up lines? Bellatrix and Voldemort.



Bellatrix, Rodolphus, and two other men she did not know, followed the Dark Lord as he led them through the manor that served as headquarters for the Death Eaters. The others were looking around in awe at the building, but Bellatrix's eyes were fixed on the Dark Lord himself.

She could still feel the fresh burn of the Dark Mark on her skin, and she was eager to at last be working for such a man as the Dark Lord himself.

The small group passed by an enormous set of oak doors, and Rodolphus spoke up, startling them all.

"My Lord," he said, "What- what is through those doors?"

The Dark Lord turned around, fixing Rodolphus with an icy stare, and Rodolphus immediately shrunk back. "I mean- if I may ask…"

"You may ask," the Dark Lord said coolly, "but you may not see what is behind them, if that was your intention. That part of the manor is restricted. My chambers are there, and no one is permitted in without my permission – which, rest assured, you will not recieve. And if you were thinking of taking a look…" he added, smirking, "it may interest you to know that the last person to come to this part of the manor thought that he would satisfy his curiosity… he slipped in under cover of an invisibility cloak… and… well, suffice to say things did not end well for him." He paused. "Does that answer your question, Rodolphus Lestrange?"

Rodolphus bowed and nodded, looking quite fearful, but Bellatrix's eyes were on the Dark Lord again, and she was all eagerness. She had never really considered that he had chambers outside of her most private fantasies, and the idea…

She followed the group dazedly as they were led to the meeting room, but before she stepped inside, Bellatrix turned quickly to the Dark Lord, taking a deep breath, trying to work up the courage to say what she wanted. "My Lord?"

"Yes, Bellatrix Black?" He stepped back from the door to the meeting room, shutting the door and looking at her.

Bellatrix swallowed hard. Blood rushed in her ears. She could not believe that she was actually going to ask this of the Dark Lord, but…

"My Lord," she murmured breathlessly, "I don't have an invisibility cloak, but… do you think I could still… visit the- ah… restricted section tonight?" She raised her eyes to his, running her tongue around her lips, hoping to God that he understood her meaning.

His eyebrow raised. "The part of the manor? The part that I have expressly stated no one may enter without my permission? And why would I allow you to do that?"

Bellatrix bit her lip. She felt almost dizzy – was she out of her mind? How could she ask this?

"Your… chambers, my Lord… could I… ah…"

"Ah." His thin lips curved into a smirk. "I see…"

There was a moment of unbelievably awkward silence in which the Dark Lord's eyes raked up and down Bellatrix's body and her cheeks turned crimson. Then, at last, he said, "Yes, I rather think I could grant you permission."