Grace Will Lead You Home
She wakes up in an unfamiliar place. The clock above her is ticking incessantly, startling her out of her reverie. She listens to the clock and the soothing hum of the radiator for a moment, as if the music of the room will calm her down.
After a few minutes of this, she sits up, glancing around her at the room. The room is not familiar in the least; the white walls are cold and uninviting, and she craves a way out of this horrible place. Slowly, she forces herself to sit up, and then she begins to move herself slowly across the bed.
Once she gets to the end of the bed, though, it becomes evident that escape will not come easily. Sirens wail around her, forcing her back into the cold, unforgiving metal of the head of the bed. Her head aches and her hands tense, searching the bed for some source of stability.
It's about then that the door is thrown open. Two men stumble in, one notably younger than the other. The younger man, who might honestly have easily passed for a teenager (or possibly he is still a teenager), stares at her with wide eyes. His eyes focus on hers, and he moves closer to the bed. His face seems to light up as he stares at her. "Rose."
"Rose," she repeats, her lips savoring the word as if it is the first time she has ever heard it. Is that her name? At last, she moves out of the bed, ignoring the sirens that continue to blare around her. She takes slow, tentative steps over to the mirror and peers into it, scared of what she might see.
Scarlet curls spill over her shoulders, clashing with the soft white of her hospital gown. Her eyes are dark chocolate, seemingly endless, and her hands fly up to her pale cheeks. She looks like a Rose, she thinks, pressing her hands now to her curls. They are soft and malleable in her white hands.
Turning at last, she takes in the two people who have just entered her room. One fidgets uncomfortably, looking as though he would prefer to be anywhere else, but the younger is gazing at her with that look still in his eyes, as if she is the most glorious thing in the world. She cannot deny that it makes her a bit uncomfortable.
"Who are you?" she asks politely, giving them a smile she assumes stretches from ear to ear. It is hard, pretending that she is happy, but her desire to be let out of the hospital overrides her fear.
The teenage boy's jaw seems to drop at once. His eyes cloud over, and he stands frozen, as if he cannot believe what she has just said. Reaching out, he presses a pale hand to her shoulder. "Rose, don't you remember me?"
"Is that my name?" she inquires childishly, twirling around in the mirror and watching her curls as they float in the air. It's a small comfort, but she takes anything that she can get.
The man exchanges a glance with the younger guy before trailing his gaze back to rose. Taking a tentative step forward, he asks calmly, "Do you remember anything, Rose?"
She takes that as a confirmation that her name is, in fact, Rose, and she shakes her head. "I... I don't remember anything, except what I assume is... general knowledge. I'm a witch, right?"
She knows it is true before he bothers to confirm it. Somehow, she thinks that she can feel the magic running through her veins. It's a major part of her, not something that she could forget, though of course her name is a major part of her too and she had forgotten that.
"Yes," the doctor (Healer, she corrects herself) confirms, scribbling down something on his clipboard. "Do you know who this young man is?" the Healer continues, motioning to the boy beside him.
Her gaze flicks from the Healer to the young man, who stares at her with a smoldering gaze unmatched by any that she has seen before. It is as if he is willing her to remember him, something that she can't quite force herself to do. Turning away, she simply shakes her head. "I have no clue who he is, though he is a bit familiar." This much is true. There is something about the boy that she recognizes, though unfortunately she cannot quite put her finger on it. She stares at him for a moment, her mouth opening and closing, before shaking her head. "I don't know him."
"I'm Scorpius," the boy says, his voice desperate, pleading, rough, and she wants so badly for her mind to simply remember this boy, but she has no clue who he is still. "I'm Scorpius Malfoy, Scorpius Malfoy, isn't that name familiar at all? Don't you know me?"
"No," she says after a moment, twirling a red curl around her finger and staring at him. "I'm sorry."
He begins screaming then, a scream that pierces her mind, upsets her brain, and she falls to the ground, unable to understand the mess of words that pour out of his mouth. The doctor fastens his arms around Scorpius Malfoy's, pulling him back out of the room so that she is alone once again.
Once again, she turns to the mirror. She knows that staring at herself in the mirror should be something pleasurable, something familiar, but instead it is something that causes her great pain. Why can't she REMEMBER, why can't she think, why doesn't she KNOW who Scorpius is? Everything hurts, everything cuts at her insides, tearing her to shreds, and she falls to her knees.
Remember, she commands herself, yet that only brings more pain.
She falls asleep that night feeling like a mess that no one can fix.
He comes to visit her every day, much to her surprise. She had thought before that once he figured out that she couldn't remember him, he would drop her like a flaming hat, but he had stuck with her. And she finds that she begins to look forward to his visits more and more as the days go by.
That is, until the day that he shows up with three other people in his wake. She stares at them- a lady with a kind smile, a goofy-looking man, a nervous young boy. Had she known them? Perhaps she was related to them; the man and the young boy have hair that is slightly like hers, though hers is a darker shade of red. Giving them a tentative smile, she wonders absently if she should introduce herself, though she assumes that they know her already.
"Rose." The young boy grins at her. He seems to be around fourteen and much like the stereotypical fourth year boy, judging by the way he carries himself. "Do you remember me?"
Though he seems to be asking casually, she can tell that there is a hint of desperation in his tone, and she wishes once again that she could remember. Shaking her head, she tells him slowly, "No. I have no idea." Upon seeing the crestfallen expressions on everyone's faces, she repeats the words that seem to have become habitual at this point. "I'm sorry."
The man doesn't seem to be thrilled at her admission, but the woman speaks up before he can say anything. "It's okay, Rose. It's not your fault."
Her voice shakes as she replies slowly, "Who are you?"
Before either can speak, Scorpius finally speaks up. "They're your family, Rose. Your mom, your dad, and your brother Hugo. I... well, the doctor and I thought that if we brought them here, it might trigger your memory.
"Obviously not." He bites his lip, eyeing her suspiciously as if to gauge her reaction. "You're not upset, are you?"
"No," Rose replies after a moment, staring at the people that apparently were- are- her family. Biting her lip, she takes a step forward. "I want to remember. I really do."
Her mother has a sad smile upon her face, as if she is just realizing the severity of Rose's condition. Staring at Rose, she asks cautiously, "Can I give you a hug?"
Mutely, Rose nods, watching as her mom steps forward and wraps her arms around her daughter. It's a cautious hug, but filled with love nonetheless, and Rose wishes (not for the last time) that she could remember. She pats her supposed younger brother on the head, and he gives her a sweet smile that she decides is all-too-uncommon for boys his age.
She thinks she hears her mom whisper something along the lines of 'I love you', and she really, truly wishes that she could say it back to her. Instead, she settles for a sweet smile. "Will you come back sometime?"
"Of course." Her father gives a booming laugh. "We're not going to give up on you because of something small like this. Trust me, we've seen worse."
Her eyes widen. Had he fought in the war that had previously occurred? She can't remember who he is, so she has no idea, but now she is incredibly curious. Before she can so much as ask, though, all of them shuffle out the door, perfectly in sync. She simply stares after them, biting her lip.
"Maybe you'll remember sometime, Rose," Scorpius tells her with an encouraging smile, but she can't say that she believes him.
She wants so badly to remember that it is quite literally driving her insane. She sits in the hospital, arms wrapped around her legs, screaming internally, but no one bothers to come and rescue her. The Healer's building literally feels more like a mental hospital to her now, and she wonders when she will ever be let out of this dark hole.
Clutching the wand that her parents had brought to her two days previous, she waves it in the air and mutters the spell that will summon one of the hospital staff. Once one arrives, she asks in the sweetest voice possible, "Can you ask Scorpius Malfoy to come here? I would like to speak with him." She folds her hands in her lap and gives a sweet smile, as if to convince them that she is completely serious.
"Yes, of course, Miss," the nurse tells her with a sweet smile back before fleeing the room.
Feeling content, Rose closes her eyes and drifts into a fitful sleep. She is only woken up by the sound of her door opening.
Sitting up quickly, she smiles slowly at Scorpius Malfoy. "You came."
"Well, obviously," Scorpius replies after a moment, taking a seat in the small chair by her bed. "What did you want to speak with me about?" He raises an eyebrow, and she knows why. She has never summoned him to the hospital before.
"You said you were my boyfriend before, right?" she asks, pushing herself so that she is sitting up. "Before I lost my memory and all?"
"Well, yes," he tells her, looking surprised. She has never wished to discuss her romance life before. Still looking a bit nervous, he adds, "I mean, I suppose you could say that. But why?"
"You know how in all the romance stories how the princess is awoken from a deep sleep by true love's kiss," Rose tells him, but then she quickly follows it up with, "I mean, not that I believe in fairy tales or any of that. But hey, it's worth a try, right?" She lifts her dark brown eyes to meet his grey ones, silently begging him not to think that she is insane or anything of the like.
"You want me to kiss you." Scorpius' statement hangs in the air between them, and his voice is a mix of disbelief and surprise. She gives a tiny nod, and he gets to his feet. Standing beside her, he begins to lean in until his face is right in front of hers.
Slowly, he whispers, "Are you sure about this?"
Once again, she nods, finding that her words have escaped her. He leans in just a bit more before slowly pressing his lips to hers.
Much to her despair, her memory does not immediately flow back the minute that their lips meet, but she finds herself enjoying the kiss nonetheless. She tugs him closer, wanting him near her, wanting to feel something other than lonely and wistfulness. It's a short kiss, but it is meaningful, and she finds herself becoming more and more glad that she had suggested it.
Once he pulls away, she smiles at him. "That was nice."
His face falls at once, but he forces a small smile anyway. "You don't remember, then?"
"No." She bites her lip. "No, I don't." He is silent for a moment, so she decides to ask him the question that has been on her mind for quite a while. "Scorpius, if I ask you something, will you promise to answer honestly? Just one question?"
"Yes," he promises after a moment. "Yes, I promise."
Grinning, she asks him slowly, "Scorpius, how did I lose my memory?"
He is quiet again, looking as if he is lost in thought. It is as if he is consumed by this memory for just a moment. Then he shakes his head, as if to shake him out of his reverie. "Well," he says at last, "I was with you. You were- you were always scared to go on a broom, because you thought that you would fall. I told you that I'd take you on mine, and I... I promised that you wouldn't fall, so you agreed. We went up high, really high, and then..." His voice trails off, and she can sense the regret in his tone.
"I fell," she finishes apathetically.
"I didn't make it in time to save you," he tells her, staring at her and shaking his head. "I'm so sorry."
It feels nice, sort of, to have someone saying it other than her, but she still can't forgive him. Shaking her head, she tells him, "Can you leave me alone for a bit, Scorpius?"
"What?" He looks taken aback, and she scowls.
"I just want to be alone!" she tells him heatedly, glaring at him. "Please, just for a little bit. You can... you can come back tomorrow."
"I will," he replies, and for once, she believes him.
She spends the whole night tossing and turning, nightmares of what she believes might have happened swirling around in her head. All she can see is darkness and falling, falling into the depths, and she wakes up screaming more often than not. The doctors all rush to her room, asking her what happened, but she simply shakes her head and tells them that it was just a nightmare and that they have more important things to attend to.
She is kept there for another few weeks while they continue to search for a way to retrieve her memory. Scowling, she tells them, "You freaks are magical! Can't you just wave a wand and say a magic spell and poof, my memory will come back?"
But no, it apparently doesn't work that way. "The memory is a complex thing, Miss Weasley," one doctor informs her. "We cannot simply summon it back to you."
That makes her roll her eyes.
However, she does not believe that it is a hopeless case until she is told so. One of the doctors is sent into her room, and he stares at her through unfeeling eyes. "Ms. Weasley, you are being discharged tomorrow."
"I am!" she cheers, sounding delighted. "Have you found a foolproof way for me to get back my memory, then?" This excites her more than anything that she has heard since she lost her memory.
The doctor looks all the more uncomfortable, and he shakes his head, frowning at her in that way that implies that something is wrong. Just from his expression, she can assume that there is something that he does not want to tell her. Her eyes shut, as if by shutting her eyes she will shut out what is to come.
"There is no foolproof way," the doctor says in a dark voice. "We... we can't... it's a lost case, Miss Weasley. We can't do any more. We're so sorry."
Feeling irritated, she jumps up from the bed and glares at him. "You can't be serious." Her eyes darken and immediately fill with tears, with the tears she has been holding back since she'd woken up with no memory whatsoever. "You're Healers; you heal people. Can't you heal my memory? Can't you just use one of your stupid summoning spells to summon it back?"
The doctor shakes his head, staring at her once again. His lips press together. "If only it were that easy." He sighs, heading towards the door, but once he gets there, he hesitates. Turning around, he tells her softly, "I wish you the best, Miss Weasley. Perhaps one day your memory will return to you. But until then..." He shakes his head and heads out the door, closing it behind her.
She is alone again. Turning to the wall, she puts her hands on her head as thoughts begin to swell in her mind. Will she be expected to go back to her friends, her school, her family, her life? Just return as if nothing has happened? No, they can't possibly expect her to, and yet she knows that they do. Tomorrow, she will return as if nothing has changed, but in reality, everything has changed. All the secrets, all the people she has met- all of that is history, and she doesn't know how to feel.
The next day, she finds herself in the lobby, sitting by herself. She stares at the wall, her heart pounding out of control.
At last, the door opens and Scorpius Malfoy walks in. Even after all of this time, being with him is still a relief. He is unfamiliar, sure, but being with him gives her a sense of euphoria that she cannot quite explain. Somehow, she finds herself becoming all the more comfortable with him, and she sort of hates that he is the only one she feels this comfort with. She still does not feel comfortable around her own family, and that bothers her.
"Rose," he says, before hesitating. After a moment, he begins to walk toward her with a small smile on his face. "You're being released."
She stares at him, looking about as unhappy as she feels. She shakes her head. "Sure, I'm being released, and that's wonderful and all that. But the thing is that I've lost my memory, I've lost it, Scorpius, and I might never get it back. So I'm always going to be like this, without a clue as to what is going on with anyone, and... and I'm expected to go back into my old life and act as if nothing has changed. I'll know no one, yet they will know me. This sucks, Scorpius; it really does." Finally, she pauses and stares at him, gauging his expression.
He takes her hand in his and then leans close to her. "But you'll know me."
"Not as well as I did," she tells him slowly. "I don't have any of the memories that you do."
For a moment, they are both silent. Then he speaks. "I'm sorry, Rose." Leaning over, he presses a gentle kiss to her cheek. "It'll get better, I promise, and... I'll be there. Though I must warn you that not everyone will be so approving of our relationship."
"What, are they all prejudiced idiots as well?" she spits icily. Sighing, she shakes her head. "Sorry about that. I'm just angry that... that all of this is happening to me, and I guess I'm still a bit angry at you."
His eyes seem to freeze over, but he finally speaks. "I am sorry. I don't know what else you want me to say, Rose-"
Scowling, she simply leans over and kisses him quickly on the lips. Once she pulls away, she tells him softly, "You know, Scorpius, I think I might have loved you before."
"I think you might have too," Scorpius laughs, his eyes trailing over her face.
She stares back at him for a moment, taking in everything that she can, and trying to will herself to remember. Some of the old feelings are coming back, that much is obvious, because her heart is starting to flutter when she stares at him. But she still has no memory of him, and if she hadn't been told that he was her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?), she would think that he was just some random hot guy off of the street. That saddens her more than anything. When she goes out that door into the real world, she could pass someone she knew, someone that was important to her, and have absolutely no clue.
"I feel like I'm going mental," she allots at last, running a hand through her flyaway curls.
His head immediately snaps over to look at her, and he gives a small laugh. "You know, I always knew that you were mental, but... but I loved you anyway. I love you anyway," he finishes, giving her hand a small squeeze. "And I know that you'll get through whatever is waiting for you today and tomorrow, because you are strong."
"Do you think my memory will ever come back?" she asks in a small voice, one that implies that she is weaker than she had thought. "I mean, not now, but just... ever."
"I think that it will," Scorpius tells her with a small, affirmative nod. "I just think that you have to let it. Give it time, you know."
As she sits there, playing with his fingers, her heart begins to pound faster. She's still nervous about what is to come, but for a moment, she lets herself believe him. Perhaps she is strong enough to get through this, and perhaps her memory will come back some day.
Maybe she should just give it time.
She looks in the mirror that rests across from her, takes in her reflection, and delights in the fact that her face is becoming more familiar. It isn't as hard now, and she guesses that as the days go on it will become easier and easier, and who knows, maybe one of these days her memory will return fully. But until then, she just has to be patient and give it time.
Later that day, she is discharged from the hospital, and she begins her life again.
A/N: Oh gosh, this sucks, but I just wanted to take a new approach to Rose/Scorpius, and heck, maybe it worked. It's not too long, really.
This is for two of my lovely Rose/Scorpius loving friends- merry Christmas to Jenny and Dri! I love you guys, hopefully this isn't horrible. :)