Waking up in a cold sweat, I looked over, silently trying to catch my breath and to not wake my partner who was lying peacefully beside me. Once again I had a nightmare and I wanted to scream out in frustration or shoot something. Every bad dream I had was about my parents laying in their pool of blood when I was just a child, but now, ever since Kirika had came into my life, it had always been about her.
It had been four days since I got myself caught and once again Kirika had rescued me without hesitation. Becoming in tune to the only sounds in the room, Kirika's breathing and the clock on the wall became overwhelming and I got out of the bed softly and got dressed. I needed some air desperately and I needed to clear my head.
As soon as I was out of my apartment, I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed loudly. 'When did things get so complicated? I promised I would kill her but can I even do that now?' I thought to myself. With another loud sigh I shook my head and started walking.
When Shaoli had captured me, trying to use me as bait to kill she, I had wondered that night and last night, after everything was over, if she would had tried to save me without Chole's help. I wondered if she would put herself in danger knowing she was greatly outnumbered. Not that I was questioning Kirika's skills, but then, I had silently wondered and I think a part of me knew.
I knew she would and I admit that realization made me question things more. Assassins don't have each other's back, they don't come back and save another, no, they run and save themselves, but I guess I forgot to tell her that in the beginning. She, on the other hand, is different.
Kirika has saved me so many times without hesitation. This time, this time was different though. Last time, she saved me without a second thought of the consequences, and because of her choice, she were still no closer to the truth of who she was. Her choice between getting the information she needed and saving my life and she chose the later.
Walking in that crowd, knowing there was someone about to kill and there wasn't nothing I could do, I knew it was too late when I heard that gun click and I turned around quickly, to see my killer; however, I turned around and the expression on his face was wrong and I knew something was wrong, then she came into view and I knew that she had saved me once again.
This time though, watching she walk up them steps with almost thirty guns pointed at her like an amateur, but she still didn't stop, my breath was caught, thinking she was a fool. I knew that I wasn't worth it but she I guess had other ideas.
Caught up in my thoughts, I didn't realize I was standing in the middle of a graveyard. After I took a look around, I noticed a figure walking towards me but I didn't reach for my gun. "What are you doing here?" I asked bluntly.
Still, Kirika came closer, "What's wrong?" That innocent sounding voice pierced right through me like a bullet but I didn't drop my defense.
"Nothing is wrong, go back and go to sleep." I said, turning away from her, but she didn't leave.
A few moments passed and I barely heard her next question. "Are you mad at me?" she asked and I didn't know. Was I mad at her? Was I thankful? I was tired of thinking.
"Yes, I am."
Kirika stepped forward and stopped at my side, both us was looking forward, and I dared not to look at her. "Because of what happened the other day?" With that, I snapped and turned to face her.
"No, it is because of everything. You don't think about your actions or consequences. You have no right to risk your life for me." I half yelled at her and even with that, there was no real emotion on her face and I was tempted to slap or shoot her.
I shook my head and started to walk away, I didn't feel like arguing but her quite voice stopped me. "When I first woke up in the woods and those guys were trying to kill me, my only instinct was to protect myself. That was it. Every sight and sound of a bullet makes me react to protect me, but when I met you, that changed. I know my consequences, but I just don't care about them. When we are getting attacked, the only thing I worry about is you and I can't change that, Mireille."
Kirika's voice sounded like it was breaking and I turned to face her and my heart clenched at the sight of tears that gathered in her eyes and as always I felt helpless knowing I couldn't do anything stop them. I took her hand and pulled her to me, the action shocked her slightly and it was evident on her face. Wrapping my arms around her, I gently kissed her forehead. "I just worry about you."
My words caused her to tense, "When this is all over, you won't have to worry about me." She whispered and I only hugged her tighter, savoring this rare affectionate moment. I knew what she meant by that but it bugged me.
The closer we got to the truth the more I was dreading it for I knew what I had promised but with each day, I silently wondered if I could go through with it. I felt weak; the thought of killing her should not have made me feel nauseous.
Knowing we could not just stand there forever, I sighed again, "Come on, let's go home." With that, Kirika tightened her arms around me for a second and let me go.
A part of me wondered why she would accept death so easily and the other part wanted to yell and shoot her for being so naive. Our situation was difficult and complex but I don't think it would work out any other way if it was easy and simple.
We walked back in silence but still, I had thoughts on my mind and I didn't voice them. Maybe she could read my mind or my expression or maybe it was just because she wanted to, but she grabbed my hand and held it the rest of the way and I didn't resist. The feeling of something other than a cold gun felt good to my hand.
AN : Just a short one shot about Mireile musing slightly about the past few days events, know its short but hope yall enjoy it anyways.