This first chapter was started on April 1st, 2011

The last chapter was finished on December 21st, 2011

I would also like to include the following: I did not have to write this story, I gain no profit from it, and I only wrote it because I wanted to. If there is anything that you are not happy with, then constructive criticism is acceptable, but please do not flame just because something happens that you do not like such as the fact that there is SasoDei (there will be a lot of eventual SasoDei). So if you don't like the story, then don't read. Thank you.

Warning: The following story contains strong gore, strong course language, and several SasoDei smut scenes.

The characters aren't mine; I just waste my life writing about them.

This is dedicated to Keono, Selyann, Sasori (of course) and all of my other watchers on Deviant Art and FanFiction.N


As White as Blood

'He did not wear his scarlet coat,

For blood and wine are red,
And blood and wine were on his hands
When they found him with the dead.

The poor dead woman whom he loved,
And murdered in her bed.

I only knew what hunted thought
Quickened his step, and why
He looked upon the garish day
With such a wistful eye;
The man had killed the thing he loved,
And so he had to die.

Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,
Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
Yet each man does not die.

He does not die a death of shame
On a day of dark disgrace,
Nor have a noose about his neck,
Nor a cloth upon his face,
Nor drop feet foremost through the floor
Into an empty space.'

-Exert from 'The Ballad of Reading Gaol' by Oscar Wilde


Chapter One

As White as Blood

My name is Sasori of the Red Sand, and I grew up to be a mass murdering member of the organization known infamously as the Akatsuki. I joined when I was sixteen years old (twenty if you wish to get technical about the details), and I was a part of the group until I died for the second time at the age of thirty-five, unless I still counted as a member the third time I died.

Now, before you get confused, I've in a way, died three times in my life. The first time I lost my mortal body, the second time I lost my mind, and the last time I lost my soul.

But I shall not reveal too much more at this present time, as I do not wish to give too much away just yet, so that is all I shall tell of the future. Let's just say, I was a bad person; at least that is what utter idiots would consider me to be.

My story began the way everyone in this world's tale generally begins. My parents met when they were fifteen, and were married at the age of nineteen, when my Granny was thirty-eight years old; I was born the same year as their wedding. They were Shinobi, you see, and they were often away fighting or on missions. Generally, I lived a normal life for a Sunagakure child. I cried when I was born like most babies, I had no birth defects and I had been graced with a pair of loving parents.

I started my life out ordinary, until I was about five years old, which will be the starting point of this story. In my time I had dear friends and I had ruthless enemies; some too loyal, some too insane, and some just plain stupid.

So then, how did I turn from being what the dim-witted would consider 'Good' into what it is they considered 'Bad'? You will now find out first hand of the trials and the psychological metamorphosis that I experienced from my birth to my death.

…I wronged so many people in the course of my life…So many people.

Oh well, let's start at the beginning, before my soul was as white as blood.


Five Years Old

Sasori's parents had been away at the war against Konohagakure for a few long months already, and he missed them so much. Sure he still had his Granny, but even the old woman was no substitute for his real parents. He looked at the picture of his small family; in the photo, the red head was being held by his mother with his father smiling pleasantly. The five year old raised his eyebrows, wondering when his parents would be coming home, hoping that it was soon.

He had watched them leave with his Granny Chiyo, and he had waved goodbye to them as any child would have done. Now he sat all alone in his bedroom, gazing at the photos which were set up next to his bed. Sasori gave a sad grimace at the memories, and soon turned to the window, watching the glowing sun in the distance. When would his parents come home? The door opened, and he snapped around, hoping with all of his might that it was his mummy and daddy.

Sasori's Granny stood in the door way, giving him a gentle smile, "There you are, Sweetie…Would you like to go for a walk with me?" The red headed child blinked at the woman with his large innocent eyes, giving a sad smile at her after a few seconds.

"Can we, Granny?" She nodded and Sasori stood up off of his too large bed, following after his guardian with faint eagerness.


All was well while they walked, or at least, for a time. The sun shone high in the never-ending sky, the rays dancing across the burnt land and its inhabitants, kissing their faces. Sasori was used to the hot temperature of the home that he had never strayed away from, and it didn't bother him in the slightest as he knew no different. He abruptly stopped when a young boy fell over a few metres in front of them, with the child's faithful parents immediately going to their crying son's aid, kneeling down to his height and helping him stand up. Once he was on his feet, the boy's mother dusted his clothes and both parents held him tightly to reassure the child that they were there for him and that they always would be.

Sasori felt a sharp, unidentifiable sensation at the pit of his stomach at the sight of the unbroken family, and he gazed at them with sad, yearning eyes. The child stopped crying and stood up, each parent walking onwards while holding one of their son's hands. Why weren't Sasori's parents around? Would they come to help him if he had cried? Sasori watched the family walk away into their happy lives, leaving the red head once more all alone. "Sasori?"

The five-year old remembered that he actually wasn't all by himself, and that Chiyo was still with him most of the time. It wasn't the same as having his mummy and daddy, but she was still something, and something would have to be enough. He turned his head up to look at her, and the woman's eye's widened slightly.

Sasori was managing a soft smile despite the odd feeling of lament which was pressing and constricting his stomach, figuratively speaking of course. "Granny Chiyo, can we grab a treat on the way back?"

The woman gave a smile back to her grandson. "Y-Yes, all right." Sasori nodded and started walking in front of his granny, intent on getting rid of this odd feeling which plagued him inside.


The sun was almost gone, and Sasori once again sat alone within his room, looking at the picture which he held. His attention was brought away from the frame when he heard the door creak open. The five year old hid the picture behind his back and looked to see who it was. "Huh?" No one was there. He looked down to the ground when he noticed some movement, giving another confused noise. A small, plain puppet watched him from around the door frame, slowly moving into his room. It kneeled down onto its jointed legs and managed to bow at the red head politely. Sasori gave a smile and a laugh of amusement as Granny Chiyo walked into the room behind the small puppet. The red head blinked at her for a few seconds before smiling once more. "Granny Chiyo?"

"Do you like it, Sasori?" She smiled in a way which made you feel almost loved. "This is a Puppet Master Jutsu that is as old as our family is. What do you think? Do you want to learn how to perform it?"

Sasori blinked at her again, "Really?" His smile reformed, "You can teach me how to do that?"

"Well now," Chiyo cooed softly, "come with me and you will see." Sasori placed the frame down on the bed and stood up, intent on learning the cool-looking technique. They walked through the ordinary house to a doorway which he had never explored before, Chiyo opening the door for him. Light entered the dark room and Sasori peered over his Granny's arm to see inside. She let the red head pass her and Sasori entered, looking around the dark room with a look of absolute awe. "This warehouse is where every puppet ends up at some point, every single prototype and unfinished puppet ever made in Sunagakure had been in here." They walked deeper inside, and Sasori gazed at the lifeless bodies of the marionettes with profound interest. Some were humanoid, others looked like animals, but all were fascinating and unfinished. "Sasori…Everything in here is yours to use as you please. I want you to build your own puppet."

"My…My own puppet?" Chiyo nodded and smiled, the red head looking towards the rack of dolls curiously, "But how do I make my own puppet?" The woman led Sasori over to the work bench, sitting on one of the two chairs and patting on the top of the other.

The red head sat down on the other stool, waiting eagerly for the chance to learn. "Listen to me, child, and let me show you. Maybe one day you'll be an even better Puppet Master than my self, boy." She laughed and something sparkled in Sasori's innocent eyes at the prospect of building himself some loyal companions.


"And that is how you make a puppet." Sasori stared in amazement at the small dove which his Granny had put together before his eyes. "Now watch…" Visible 'strings' of chakra emerged from the woman's fingertips, attaching themselves to the wooden construct of the bird with smooth grace.

Its wings creaked on the brand new joints, but eventually they got used to the motion. It started to flap harder and faster, beginning to hover off of the table's surface with the more effort placed into it. Sasori watched in awe as it flew higher and Chiyo began to make it wheel around the air.

The five year old laughed with absolute joy as the puppet continued to move as if it were a living creature, as if it was not actually being controlled by his grandmother. Eventually it settled back down onto the workbench, and the small red head blinked at it, curious as to what it would do next, "Now you try."

Sasori frowned in concentration as he watched the bird, not knowing how he was going to manage to control it as well as his grandmother. He slowly brought his hands up with fingers pointing towards the dove, and after a few seconds…Absolutely nothing happened. Sasori's brow creased deeper as he concentrated even harder, starting to give him self a headache. He stopped holding his breath and looked to his granny, giving a sad expression of hopelessness, "Granny, it's not working…"

"That's alright," she smiled at him, "I'm here to help you. First, since you are just a beginner, you must-" Sasori gave an unexpected yawn. "…Oh my! I just realised that it is far past your bed time!"

The tired red head blinked at the woman and quickly shook his head, "No, I want to learn how to control a puppet, Granny! Please!" Chiyo gave a sigh and ruffled Sasori's hair affectionately.

"Oh Sweetie, you have a lot to learn; go to bed now, for tomorrow will be particularly harsh on you." She stood off the chair and picked up the bird, holding it out to the red head. He took the dove and solemnly stood as well, "Tomorrow, I promise that you will be able to make this bird fly, but let it sleep for now."

Sasori nodded dejectedly, "Thank you, Granny Chiyo." The woman led him back through the mysterious room, and then walked with him through the familiar house, "Good night." He entered his dark room and placed the bird down on the table which his photos also sat upon.

Chiyo smiled tenderly at her grandson as he climbed into the bed, "Good night, Sweetie." She closed the door, leaving Sasori with nothing but the moon to illuminate his medium sized bedroom.

The five year old immediately sat up in his bed, looking over at the bird which sat without moving where he had first placed it. He lifted his hands up again and tried to once more move the dove, but no matter how much he concentrated, the joints refused to obey his whim. Before long the red head passed out, considering that he was still only young and it was past midnight. In his dreams he was flying, he flapped his arms and the giant puppet-dove which he rode mimicked his motion, flying high into the sky. The young red head laughed and cried due to the utter bliss in the dream, his mind not thinking once of his real life woes as he was amused by the fantasy his idle mind had created while Sasori slept. He wanted to one day fly.


"Okay then, Sasori," Chiyo and Sasori sat in the middle of the Creation Room, the dove-puppet sitting between them, "let me show you how to make it move." Chakra strings once again formed from her fingertips, connecting to the bird and bringing it to life in an instant. It flexed one of its legs, placing it back onto the ground and then flexing the other, doing so both methodically and realistically. "The Puppet Master Technique is a ninjutsu where your chakra is transformed into strings. By attaching these 'strings' to the puppet, you are able to control the motions it makes. Control over puppets can range between all ten fingers on one puppet, or ten fingers to ten puppets."

"Is there any way to control more than ten at a time, Granny Chiyo?" The woman gave a thoughtful look, but then shook her head in dismay. "Oh…"

"But what does an old hag like me know," she gave a reassuring laugh, "maybe you will be able to figure out how to when you're older." Sasori smiled and nodded, waiting for the continuation of the lesson, "So, before you even think about the puppet, you must concentrate on your own chakra." The red head blinked in surprise, having not even thought of that before. So that was why he had been unable to move the dove… "Now, there are two ways to learn this Jutsu as not everyone is capable of becoming a Puppet Master. The first is to be taught at a young age, as I am doing with you. Around this point in your life, your chakra is not developed enough to already possess traits and characteristics."

"…Traits?" He frowned at the woman, "How can chakra have traits?"

"Many underestimate chakra, but it actually becomes similar to the nature of its owner," Sasori gave the woman a confused look. "Let me give an example…Walking. One's gait, that is the way they walk, can tell a lot about a person; characteristics are gained that affect the way one walks, and most of these are done subconsciously. Everyone is taught to walk at a young age, but over time they gain their own individual way. Chakra is the same; almost everybody starts off with the same chakra, with a few rare exceptions…" She was quiet in thought for a few seconds.

"…But you're going to help my chakra become different from everyone else's?" He blinked at the woman, barely understanding the complex riddle she had spoken, and Chiyo gave a nod, "What was the other way to learn how to control puppets, Granny?"

"Well, there is a secret scroll written by Monzaemon Chikamatsu, the original puppet master, which is said to grant anyone whom reads it the ability to gain the Puppet Master Technique. But it's just an old legend." She shrugged. "Now, to control this bird, firstly you must guide your chakra from your heart to your hands," Sasori nodded and closed his eyes, concentrating on his chest.

The red head could practically feel the swirling in his heart, and he concentrated on trying to move the energy, and succeeded but with sluggish results. Slowly he forced it out to his shoulders, through his arms, to his hands, and then he managed to squeeze it into his fingertips. Without further instructions he aimed the energy at the bird. Chakra strings attached perfectly for a few seconds, but the bird abruptly snapped in two. Sasori stared at it for a small while, until tears started to well up in the five year old's eyes, and without warning, the red head began to cry in both frustration and lament, sobbing loudly.

Chiyo tried to comfort her grandson, petting him on his back, "There there, Sweetie, you'll get the hang of it soon enough." The tears stopped falling, but he was still sad, his eyes now puffy and swollen as he miserably sniffled. Chiyo smiled at her grandson tenderly, just glad to see that he had stopped crying, "The Puppet Master Jutsu is a balancing act. Too much chakra and your creations will snap to bits, not enough and they won't even move." Sasori sniffled again as his granny stood up, "Well, I'll fix this, but in the mean time you need to get to the academy." He nodded solemnly and stood, his eyes lingering for several moments on the broken puppet, before having to look away, lest he cry again.


The red head was currently situated on a small swing which was attached to a withered old tree that bore no leaves. He swung slowly back and forth, all alone, with a sad expression on his countenance. Other kids were running around, kicking a ball and laughing, but the red head would not join in their fun. He was waiting for- "SASORI!" The child's head snapped up to search for the owner of the voice, a small smile forming on his lips as his one and only friend came running over to him.

The girl's short, boyish hair whipped in the wind as she ran, the blonde locks fluttering quicker than the swing had been moving. She was the same age as the red head, but even now he was far more mature. What the girl lacked in intelligence she made up for with ability, endurance, persistence, and an almost annoying loyalty. She wore a robe which was the same as Sasori's, except in a light violet colour, and she also wore a yellow scarf wrapped around her neck. Just as the girl neared, she tripped on the hem of her robe and slammed face first into the sand at Sasori's feet with a loud thud.

Sasori gave her a dull look before he laughed lightly, hopping off of the swing in order to help his best friend whom he had known for as long as he could remember, "You're silly, Karura."


Sasori sat in class, quiet and calculating. Earlier he had asserted too much chakra, so maybe he should try half the amount he had used earlier next time he tried the technique…Katashi Sensei continued to talk about the Second Shinobi World War which Sasori's parents were currently fighting in. As soon as the man turned his back, the red head's friend turned to him, "Have you heard any word from your parents yet, Sasori?"

He gave her a stoic look and shook his head in almost dismay. The girl gave him a sad expression and a nod of understanding, "But I'm sure they'll be home soon, Karura." Sasori managed a small smile, which the girl responded to by giving her own wide grin.

"SASORI AND KARURA!" Both five years olds looked back at Katashi, "STAY BEHIND AFTER SCHOOL YOU DELINQUENTS!" Sasori and Karura gulped in fear, already knowing the punishment which awaited them.


They were both walking home, faces cringing in pain. For their disobeying of rule number three, 'Do not speak unless the teacher is talking to you', they had had their palms whipped with a long cane three times each. It stung, but probably wouldn't scar considering the fact that the canes hadn't broken their skin. "Sorry, Sasori," Karura gave him an apologetic frown, "I didn't mean to get you into trouble…"

"It's alright," Sasori smiled in reassurance, trying to take his mind from the ache, "how about your parents? Have you heard any news from them?"

Karura brightened up instantly, grinning widely at Sasori, "My mother is back, and she is pregnant!" She laughed with joy, and Sasori gave her a small, almost sad smile. "Oh," she gave a hurt expression, "I'm sorry…It wasn't right of me to get so excited when your parents haven't come back yet…"

"It's alright…They'll probably be home soon." They reached the red head's house and momentarily stopped to say goodbye, "Well, see you, Karura." The friends bowed to each other politely before going their separate ways, Sasori entering his domain.

"Sweetie," Chiyo frowned suspiciously at her grandson, "why are you so late home?" Sasori simply showed the woman his hands, each palm baring three angry marks. "…You spoke in class?"

"Karura asked me if Mummy and Daddy were back…" He gave a slight frown, "It wasn't my fault and it wasn't hers…" The woman gave a harsh sigh.

"Sasori, a Puppet Master's hands are the most important part of their anatomy! Do not risk anything which could harm them!" Sasori gave a slow nod, and Chiyo sighed, "Come on then, you have a Puppet Master Jutsu to learn."


Sasori had his eyes closed as he concentrated on moving the chakra from his heart to his hands, letting half of what he had gathered swim into his fingers. Carefully he let the strings leave his tips, attaching themselves to the bird. Sasori twitched all of his fingers, surprised when he heard a click. The dove-puppet had shuddered…The red head repeated the action, resulting in another jerk of joints, and his eyes lit up, "Granny, I did it!"

The woman smiled at her grandson, "Good job, Sweetie. Now, make it fly." Sasori nodded, and he automatically knew how to move his fingers; it was in his blood after all. The red head moved his two index fingers up and down, and the bird copied the action with its wings, gradually flapping harder, and much to Sasori's amusement, it soon started to hover. He gave an open mouth smile and made the bird fly in circles just as Chiyo had demonstrated, and much to his amusement, it did as the five year old commanded.