Because their clothes are so much cooler.

Because they're permitted to give into hate.

Because they have stormtroopers but don't need to deal with all those Nazi issues.

Because who wouldn't want to be able to choke someone to death with the force just because they DARED to question your judgment?

Because even when the worst happens apprentices are easy to replace.

Because they know how to set up the best traps.

Because they have powers that can not be learned from a Jedi.

Because all men love big powerful toys and how the hell do you top a freakin' Deathstar?

Because they own the copyright of the word 'imperial.'

Because they have an excellent educational program. Those who were once the students are able to become the masters.

Because even when they are left scarred and disfigured they still draw cheers.

Because they offer full medical and dental benefits for life; including cybernetic limbs and and life support suits.

Because you do not need to concern yourself with the motives or beliefs of others. Anyone who is not with you is your enemy. (This makes life much simpler.)

And because everyone knows the Dark Side has the best cookies.