It was the night before Christmas, and all through the night

Nothing made a sound, not even a Like-Like

All the presents laid beneath the Deku Tree

Awating all children; Hylian, Minish, and even the Kokiri

But the Zelda villians sealed inside the other realms

Had a very evil trick tucked inside their helms

"We will steal Christmas," they decided, rubbing their hands

As they all gathered together to dicuss their plans

Ganon, with the Triforce of Power, stole all of the Deku Trees

Zant, with insane joy, raised the temperature by 70 degrees

"With no snow and no trees it will hardly be Christmas!" they sang

"But can't I do something evil?" Vaati complained

"My short little friend," Ganon said with a sneer

"You will help us steal all of their presents this year!"

Ganon, Zant, Vaati, and Dark Link all crammed into a sleigh

And proceeded around the world to steal presents before Christmas day

Dressed in red Goron tunics with puff balls at the ends of their hats

They looked more or less like "Santa," no doubt about that

And they were joined by Ghirahim, Majora, and Twinrova as well

And decided to help the other baddies for a spell

They creeped into houses and left with stuffed bags

Twinrova tripped Dark Link who snapped, "Watch it, you old hags!"

All slingshots and gauntlets were taken away

Ocarinas, harps, and masks were also thrown into the sleigh

All around the worlds, all the races would wake up sad

Because all of their presents had been taken by the Zelda characters who had gone bad

"The Minish will not get magic beans," Vaati giggled

"The Gerudo will not get makeup," Ganon laughed, feeling fickle

"Sheikah and Zora and Goron alike

Will suffer their losses once it becomes daylight!"

"This fills my heart with rainbows!" Girahim exclaimed

Dancing around a bit, much to everyone's dismay

But once everything had been taken, they still weren't satisfied

Majora murmured, "There is still one house that we haven't stop by..."

And they all remembered the boy who had each time in the past

Saved the world and kicked each Zelda villian's ass

"We'll ruin this holiday for him and team up on him tonight!

He'll never know what hit him!" Ganon chuckled as the sleigh once again took flight

(Vaati is a wind mage, I'm sure you all know?

Who says he wasn't conjuring some sort of tornado?)

Ready for revenge, the villians landed outside Link's home

"Let's get lootin'!" said Link's dark clone

All of them snuck in, and began packing away presents

Scowling as they hoped they'd hurt the boy that they resented

But there were footsteps descending the stairs and they froze

Link, in his green tunic, was standing sleepily in the doorway, rubbing his nose

"Santa," the Hylian teen boy asked the villain crew

"Why in the Goddesses name are there five of you?"

A small cough passed between the group as they took a step backward

And Dark Link whispered uncomfortably, "Awkwaaaard..."

"Well you see dear lad," Ghirahim stepped forward and said with a small sigh

"Delivering presents was so much work so I split into five!"

"Oh, alright..." Link shrugged as Ghirahim realized the Hero of Time was standing under the mistletoe

Without a second thought he leaned forward to kiss his lips but missed and got his nose

Ghirahim fell face first onto the floor and Link began to blush

The Demon Lord himself cursed silently that his plans had been crushed

"Santa, are you alri-" Link began but was cut short and then

The other "Santas" were crowding around him, not to be thwarted by him again!

"To bed, you sleepy teen," crooned Twinrova, "you must be tired, I would guess?

Let us finish our work here, that would be nice, yes?"

Link nodded and the others held onto Ghirahim tightly

"Don't forget," they told him, "he is the enemy!"

"But," argued Ghirahim, "we are bound by destiny!

Maybe that includes me taking his virginity-"

"Enough!" snapped Vaati, standing before the Demon Lord

"If anyone would get Link, it would be me, not a sword!"

And they all began to get into an argumentative knot

Over who should get Link because they all thought he was hot

Soon, they began to forget the point of their mission

While fighting for Link's affection became their new transition

And Link watched from around the corner, perturbed but also relieved

He had known from the beginning that those Santas had been his enemies

And as they all wore themselves out he took back his presents and snuck out to the sleigh

And vowed to returned all the stolen gifts before Christmas day

He gave back everyone their Heart Container candy and gauntlets made of gold

With ice arrows and his Rod of Seasons he returned the snow and made it cold

And all in one night he gave back everything the Zelda villains had taken

He returned home happy, knowing everyone else would be too when they awakened

And Link turned on his side, snuggling into his bed

When he felt a diamond gloved hand caress the side of his head

"So, Hero of Time, now that you've saved Christmas right on cue

Why not make my Christmas wish come true~?"

A/N: Happy Holidays everyone~