A/N: Finally something that I'm fairly happy with. I'm glad that I don't have to live with Yuffie, 'cause that would be killing, for sure. XD I admit that I got this idea from one of my favorite writers on here, who wrote about how Aerith persuaded Leon to play Santa to get the Christmas spirit back in Traverse Town. Only this takes place in Hollow Bastion.
Happy holidays everyone! And you'd better watch out, 'cause Santa Claus is coming to town…
Oh, and the cover for this story was drawn by the lovely ~KeepCalmForKpop (on dA). Please don't use the picture without her permission!
P.S: I would really appreciate it if you could check out my new poll and vote. It would be a great Christmas present for me. :) (ZackxAerith and CloudxTifa are currently at the top.)
Thanks: M. L. Ayala, by beta. :)
~ "Wow, from this close, you're even more handsome, Santa! Grumpy, too, but kinda cute." ~
Sweat was beading on Leon's forehead and he was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable (and embarrassed) with every passing second. He'd rather fight a thousand Heartless and Nobodies for a whole year than do this. Not that he'd ever had a say in this.
And there goes that little bit of dignity that Yuffie had, miraculously enough, left for me, he thought.
Who would ever take him serious after they saw him in this state?
Damn it, why did he have to have this shade of blue eyes? Why did Cloud's hair have to be too spiky to fit in any stupid red Christmas hat? Why was Merlin too famous with the children in this world to be fitting for this role? And why oh why did Cid cuss so much that nobody even suggested asking him for this nonsense in the first place?
Why was he always the only option that was left, the answer to everyone's prayers? He cursed himself for falling into Aerith's trap once again, because of her sweet and gentle words and her pink glory. And Yuffie, she only made it worse with her nasty comments. It took all of Leon's self-control not to attack her right now, what with the way she was drawing attention to him. Not that he would get that far now that he was dressed in this ugly red and white suit that was far too big for him, wearing a fake beard, black boots and thousands of pillows in order to look a little bit more like the oh so famous Mr. Santa Claus.
Whoever had invented this weird idea, the person had probably been on crack, or something. An old guy who was sneaking around your house in the dark to give you presents? Please, the idea alone was terrifying enough already, without all the nonsense that came with it.
Leon massaged the bridge of his nose and tried not to look too fed up, when the girl that just sat on his lap started to cry. Just great. As if his head didn't hurt enough already from all the noise that the little brats made.
"I'm so sorry… She normally doesn't act like this when she's around Santa," her mother said, apologetically, giving him a rather awkward smile.
And the children seemed to hate him, too, even without the striking scar on his face (Aerith had dumped a few pounds of concealer on it so nobody would see him.)
"…That's fine," he mumbled, looking up to give Aerith an I-Told-You-This-Wouldn't-Work-In-A-Billion-Years! look.
The pink clad woman, who stood away a few feet, just lifted the corner of her mouth with her fingers. It was a sign for him to keep smiling, in order not to scare the kids. Leon rolled his eyes and still did what she wanted him to. He was sure that he looked like someone with tooth ache.
"Yeah, well, I can't blame that girl for being petrified. Santa looks extremely scary this year," Yuffie joked, loud enough for the bystanders to hear it. "Even the way he smiles makes him look like some creepy pedo. Not that I know any pedos who don't look creepy, but that's beside the point."
Leon shot such a sharp glare her way that she could almost swear that it crushed her bones. Figuratively speaking, of course.
"Still… I bet all my Munny on the fact that that's the first girl who doesn't like to sit in your lap, oh Grumpy One," the raven-haired young woman continued.
"What Munny? The one that you stole from my shop, or the Munny that you took from Leon when he was asleep?" Cid grumbled, chewing on his toothpick.
Yuffie stuck her tongue out at him in response, before she darted towards the place where this year's Santa sat on his richly decorated throne.
"Okay, now it's my turn to have a nice chat with Santa! Outta my way!" she shouted, enthusiastically to everyone that came in her way.
Before any of the children could stop her, or even protest that it wasn't her turn yet, she flew right into Leon's lap and made herself feel at home. "Wow, from this close, you're even more handsome, Santa! Grumpy, too, but kinda cute."
"Yuffie, get the hell off of me," Leon hissed, as a faint blush slowly started to creep over his cheeks.
More and more people had stopped to watch this peculiar scene and unfortunately, all of them had recognized Leon already. If Yuffie continued like this, then he would surely never be able to look anyone of them right in the eyes.
Yuffie gasped, as she readjusted, much like she owned this place, or in this case, the place on his lap. "Oh, Mr. Santa! Didn't your mother ever tell you it's bad to cuss like that? You should live with Aerith for a month. She'll brainwash you to the extent that you'll poop rainbows and unicorns!"
Leon rolled his eyes. "Haha," he deadpanned.
Yuffie made a face at her own statement when she realized how wrong that just sounded, before putting her arms around his neck so she wouldn't fall off. At once, the brunet male tried to get her hands off of him, but her grip was as strong as steel.
"So… will I finally get the only thing that I want for Christmas this year, Mr. Santa?" Yuffie asked sweetly, tilting her head to the side.
Leon narrowed his eyes into thin slits in suspicion. "No," was the immediate and short reply.
"But you don't even know what I want!"
The man sighed, not in the mood for Yuffie's stupid games. "Because, Yuffie, knowing you, it's either explosive, highly dangerous, childish, or a combination of all of them. Now get. Off. My. Lap!"
"Nu-huh. Not before I get a big hug," she replied, poking his nose affectionately. "I'm so flattered that you know my name!"
Leon sighed inwardly, starting to believe that someone up there really had to hate his guts to make him go through this horrendous torture…