My first Yullen~! …I have officially become another statistic in the F F DGM archive. XD Bah, but it was fun.

This is dedicated to Inuyoshie, for whom this is a Christmas present.

Several things about this:

1) It's yaoi; you should have been able to come to that conclusion when you read the summary/looked at the genre and pairing. Don't like, click the "Back" arrow.

2) It has some very light non-con tendencies, but in the end, no matter how/why they're doing this, Kanda and Allen are doing it willingly. …And violently.

3) This is T. Nothing more, nothing less. But, trust me, I do believe it be quite the steamy T.

4) No matter how much I love him, I do not approve of drinking the concoctions Komui makes. You'll understand what I mean as you read.

^ . ^ Merry Christmas, Inu~!

D . Gray-man is owned by Katsura Hoshino, meaning it does not belong to me. I am in no way, shape, and/or form claiming to be the owner/creator of these concepts, though I do claim any characters not apart of the original D . Gray-man storyline (such as Gracia) mine. As such, I would appreciate fellow authors and readers to give credit where credit is due and not steal any of my characters and/or concepts. Thank you, and have a pleasant day.


Kanda and Allen sat stiffly across from one another, each trying their damnedest to ignore the other for the entirety of the duration of the seven hour train ride to the destination of their next mission.

The atmosphere between them was thick with awkward tension, and the waves of anger they were trying to give off to simulate some semblance of normalcy were being disrupted by an apprehension Allen would only reluctantly admit to and Kanda would vehemently deny with the assistance of Mugen if either of them were asked.

The only ones who weren't shocked immobile by the viscous aura were Timcanpy and Kanda's golem, and both of the little creatures were feeding off of their respective masters' negative emotions and were engaged in a fierce glaring war that practically had sparks shooting between the two as the circled the airspace above the Exorcist's heads like rabid dogs about to lunge, the machinery in Kanda's golem whirring extra loudly and Timcanpy's odd mouth opening almost beyond its jaw's limits as he threateningly bore his spike-like teeth, as if reminding Kanda's golem that he could eat the mouthless, glorified walkie-talkie.

Vaguely, and at the same time, the two young men were envious of their respective golems; at least they could look one another in the "eye", unlike them.

Of course, if asked what was wrong with them, if asked why they weren't arguing about anything, both boys would deny that anything was wrong; Kanda would probably say something about not having anything to say to a cursed midget of a sprout, and Allen would indirectly quip back by countering that he doubted someone as devolved as Kanda could understand English, anyway.

And, even then, their indirect attacks wouldn't result in the argument it usually would, but rather another awkward silence that would leave the observer feeling like they had walked in on something private (which wasn't possible, considering neither of these two boys would have anything private going on between them… right?).

Because something was wrong.

Something they were both doing their best to ignore, forget and mentally erase the existence off, though, as if to mock them, the same string of mental images was playing in their heads over and over again.

And, unfortunately for both of them, neither of them were forgetful drunks, so the images were crystal clear and beyond vivid enough to bring the associated physical and emotional sensations back to the surface.

Why, Dear Lord, why had they accepted drinks from Komui Lee, off all people, at that godforsaken party?

Well… Actually, Allen had accepted the drink from Lenalee, and, for her, the opportunity to tell him that her brother had asked her to deliver it to him for him had only arisen after Allen had downed half of the strange-tasting beverage before asking what it was (curse his insatiable gullet…).

Kanda, on the other hand, had never really been a thinker, and had been rather pissed about being forced to join in on the festivities as it was, so when he'd stormed up to and flat out ordered Komui, who had been pouring himself a "hard" beverage from the "adults only" table, to give him a goddamned drink, his age aside, before something pointy was buried in the extremity of the man's choice and Komui had complied readily, Kanda had mistaken it for fear rather than Komui seizing the opportunity.

Whatever the concoction had been (likely something Komui had leapt at the opportunity to test while people were mingling, a bit buzzed and loose in their inhibitions), it hadn't taken long to work…

…And then…

…Allen would claim (though never in front of a certain Supervisor, and even then only to a select crowd he could trust) that he had thought the person in front of him had been Lenalee.

Kanda, initially, had seriously been under the impression that he had been moving in to bite the Moyashi for… saying something he couldn't quite remember (recollected clarity of image, not of words) but knew had pissed him off… Kinda. Maybe…? Fuck, he didn't know.

Allen had only meant it to be a goodnight kiss to someone he cared about. (And, even then, he had been sure he had been aiming for a cheek.)

Kanda had been trying to bite him. Seriously.

But, after they had both experienced a far-too-long blink, they had opened their eyes to find it hadn't been a simple goodnight kiss/bite.

They had been in a hall a ways from the party, around a corner where no one else was, Kanda with his hands fisted in the Moyashi's waistcoat on either side of his collarbone and jerking the boy clean off of his feet to even their heights a bit before pinning the boy to the wall with his lean, well-muscled torso, and Allen with his thighs happily (too happily) straddling BaKanda's waist, legs angled and bent in an embarrassingly feminine way and toes curled in his boots as the dark man hovering over him dominated him in a way his body found absolutely delightful, their tongues, strong from so many loud arguments, tangled and chapped and alcohol-numbed lips locked.

To make matters worse, in the eyes of their current, sober selves, their drunk selves had simultaneously reached the decision that the situation was not so bad and had gone on, eyes closing again, Kanda's body pressing closer, Allen's arms wrapping around the taller, older boy's neck to drag his fingers though his hair, undoing the hair cord in the process, both mouths going back to what they'd been doing, both tongues writhing in a new kind of fight…

Fortunately (if it could even been considered a fortunate thing…), things hadn't gone beyond that; they'd spent an indeterminate amount of time (fifteen minutes) just making out heavily, mouths too occupied with staying stuck together to let out more noises than the occasional, soft gasp/pant/grunt, and then they'd stumbled off together (fuck, neither of them wanted to think about what they would have done had they gotten very far), only to pass out halfway up the steps to the residential area side-by-side, fingers touching.

Then, Kanda had woken sometime before Allen, his internal alarm set way before those of most in the building, had glanced around without really thinking or comprehending anything, and had then stumbled off to bed, leaving Allen behind on the steps to wake up three hours later with a spine pained enough to rival that of an eighty-six-year-old arthritic field worker, lips bruised and swollen and the taste of tea and some fruity drink on his tongue.

Allen had then stumbled off to bed, himself, remembering and thinking of nothing, and they had both tried to sleep most of the day away, like most others in the building would be doing.

…Only… they had both been woken by unnamed people at their doors telling them that Komui had a mission for them, though neither had any clue the other had also been summoned.

And, as they had prepared themselves, horror had slowly dawned on them as the images had started to surface and play.

After nearly giving themselves heart/panic attacks, both had tried to rationalize it as an unwanted (pleasurable) dream, Allen taking longer than Kanda to do so as he had a harder time regaining his composer. Despite Allen spending more time trying to pull himself together, they both reached the corridor in front of Komui's office at almost exactly the same time, Kanda having taken a longer detour to try to clear his head when his denial (much more violent than Allen's) made the images that much more fearsome, and Allen turned down the hall that led to Komui's office a few seconds before Kanda did, the white-haired boy freezing when she saw Kanda slip around the corner in front of him soon after.

And, as soon as they met one another's eyes, they both realized–

It hadn't been a dream.

They had stood in place… for what felt like an eternity… just staring at one another… Then, body stiff and movements jerky, Kanda had stepped towards and through Komui's office door, leaving Allen to stare at the space where he had been with his face a brilliantly dark scarlet before the younger, smaller boy had weakly, dazedly followed.

And, when they both remembered that they had gotten into that drunken state because of Komui, they had both known that they would never be able to make Komui pay; not with the way the man was staring at them intently, as if looking for lingering symptoms, as he detailed their mission.

If they tried to kill Komui, they would eventually be asked why…

If they stuck with just screaming at Komui, Komui would know that his serum had worked and would demand to know what had transpired, and would go so far as to follow them around, asking them at random intervals, until their fellow Exorcists caught on and started asking, too…

They couldn't even fight/argue with one another about it, because they had both been victims, and they both knew the other would deny it (Allen knowing Kanda would deny it so much better and more violently than himself)…

So, they had both come to the silent agreement that they would never talk about or even acknowledge The Incident.

And now, as they both rode on the train together towards their mission, they were simultaneously trying to forget the whole matter, something only made difficult by the fact that the atmosphere each was unwillingly generating was reminding the other of the fact that they both knew, both remembered, both didn't know how to handle it…

Damn it, why hadn't a Finder been sent with them? !

Why were they alone together, right after that? !

Shiiiit…

"Pardon me." Both boys looked over as the door to their compartment opened, a stewardess with a trolley stacked with foods and snacks smiling at them warmly with her painted lips, "Would either of you care for anything from the trolley?"

Automatically, Kanda sneered. Who had given her permission to open their closed compartment door…? "Fuck n—"

"No, thank you…"

That caught Kanda's attention, his eyes snapping over to Allen without his permission as the younger man smiled at the woman weakly and waved to her as she shut the door again and moved on. Then, when Allen noticed Kanda staring at him, silver-gray eyes slid over to meet his, near albino-pale cheeks taking a light flush.

When Allen slowly opened his mouth and went to ask Kanda a simple "What?", Kanda's dark eyes quickly darted away and he looked out the window, deadpanned, as if Allen wasn't there.

Allen's brow twitched, a feeling of annoyance at being ignored flashing through him, and an acerbic remark rose on the back of his tongue before it just as quickly died, Kanda's lips distracting him as they twisted into a scowl. That mouth…

Feeling himself getting stared at, Kanda allowed himself to look back at Allen, his scowl deepening and his eyes narrowing, "Quit staring, Moyashi."

Allen blinked and balked slightly, affronted, then frowned back at him, his brow creasing as his voice rose in a sharp, insulted pitch, "Me? ! You were staring, first!"

"Only because you turned down food, you walking stomach." Kanda growled, glaring at him harshly, accusingly, "You did that on purpose… You wanted me to pay attention to you, you little leech."

"I turned down food because I wasn't hungry, not because I wanted your unpleasant, dour attention!" Allen snapped, his brow twitching in disbelief, "Who in their right mind would want you staring at them, BaKanda? !"

"Who indeed…?" Kanda seethed, lip curling and nose wrinkling in a disgusted sneer as he looked Allen up and down slowly.

"Oh…" Allen slowly rose to his feet, "Oh, don't you even make that out to be my fault, Kanda, because I was just as much a victim as you, and you know that."

"Do I really?" Kanda's brow rose smoothly as he reclined in his seat with a slick motion, one leg crossing over the other and his arms crossing over his chest as he regarded Allen with a cool expression, "Because you seemed quite submissive, not to mention there's how eager you are now to have my attention back on you…" Kanda's harsh, accusing glare returned, "You planned that whole thing out with that flippy-haired bastard, didn't you, you little pervert?"

"…Need I remind you, BaKanda," Allen started in a low, warning growl as his hands clenched at his sides and his shoulders hunched, his body getting rigid, "That you were the dominant one, and the dominant one is usually the one who's at fault. How do I know you aren't the one conspiring with Komui?"

In a flash, Kanda drew himself up to his full height and stood chest-to-chest with Allen, glaring down at him icily as his own voice turned into a growl.

"I would never willingly dominate you."

"And I would never willingly submit to you." Allen hissed back, standing his ground and glaring right back up at him.

And, then, just like the other night, they were upon one another again, Kanda digging his nails into Allen's scalp as he harshly gripped at the shorter boy's hair to control the movement of his head, and Allen digging his nails into Kanda's waist through his thick uniform so the taller male didn't push him over.

Unlike the other night, though, their movements weren't hazy and drunk and lustful; it was painful and aggressive, both of them biting at the others lips and tongue as they tried to keep themselves from being outdone.

In its own way, though, the harshness was just as exciting as they remembered the drunken lust being; it got their adrenalin flowing, hearts pounding and breath quickly getting hot, and then the nature of their actions made the pain actually feel nice

When Kanda moved his hands to grab at the front of Allen's clothes again, picking him up and slamming him into the wall of their train compartment and then thrusting his tongue into Allen's mouth when the white-haired boy gasped, Allen scowled into his mouth and wrapped his legs around Kanda's waist, jerking him close to maintain some level of control. Then, when Kanda dragged him along the wall before slamming him back down against the cushioned bench on Allen's side of the compartment, Allen quickly moved his hands to clutch at the seat to keep Kanda from jerking him around again, tightening his legs around Kanda's waist further and pointedly jerking to keep Kanda's attention occupied with their joined mouths.

Panting heavily in the brief intervals when his mouth parted from the Moyashi's, Kanda crawled up further onto the too-narrow seat to hover over Allen, one hand going to wrap around Allen's throat as he tried to violently hurt the inside of the younger boy's damp, hot mouth with his tongue.

Allen gasped around Kanda's hand and tongue and arched, his hands flying up to latch his fingers in long, dry but somehow silky black hair like he'd done before. When Kanda shifted again, his strong stomach writhing against Allen's groin, Allen couldn't keep his body from automatically arching up desperately into the contact, a long, low groan rising from the back of his throat. He froze and felt his face heat and throb as he blushed scarlet when Kanda paused and smirked into his mouth, Allen retaliating, without thinking, by biting down on Kanda's no longer moving tongue.

Kanda cringed and jerked back, scowling down at Allen darkly.

A slight, growing discoloration on Kanda's mouth distracted Allen from glaring back, his eyes flickering down and widening slightly when he saw blood seeping out from between Kanda's tightly pursed lips.

A flicker of guilt, a moment of his train of thought blanking, and when Allen blinked and became coherent again, he was leaning up and brushing his lips against Kanda's lightly, his tongue peeking out and lapping up the blood. The heady taste of iron bloomed on his taste buds.

Feeling his face heat again, Allen quickly pressed himself back against the seat, making to look away.

Before he could, though, Kanda followed and descended on him again, mouth clashing against Allen's easier than before, and with a heat a bit more similar to the heat they had shared the other night. Against him, Allen shuddered and closed his eyes, kissing back.

It was the Moyashi's fault, Kanda reasoned. If he weren't so damned seductively submissive, he wouldn't have been tricked into this. He wasn't gay, the Moyashi was a girl.

It was BaKanda's fault, Allen reasoned. He was using his size and power to molest him. He didn't swing that way, Kanda was a rapist.

It was Komui's fault, they both concluded without realizing their similar trains of thought. If that loopy bastard hadn't drugged them, this wouldn't feel so…

Allen felt a dark blush dye his face and the length of his pale neck, the warmth even seeping down to his chest as he slowly, hesitantly lifted his hands, the knuckles of one brushing Kanda's cheek while the fingers of the other tangled in that long hair again…

Kanda faltered slightly at the gentle touch, frowning a bit, but when Allen's tongue tentatively dragged along his palate, he shuddered, the hairs on his arms and neck standing before he growled and pressed forward more harshly, using his body to put the Moyashi in his place.


Kanda and Allen sat stiffly across from one another, each trying their damnedest to ignore the other for the remaining five hours of the train ride to their mission.

The atmosphere between them was thick with awkward tension, and the fact that it was now of a more sexual nature made it impossible for Allen to get rid of the red staining his face.

And he didn't dare glance at Kanda to see how he was taking what had… just happened… because while he was fairly sure Kanda wasn't looking at him, either, the looming suspicion that Kanda was taking in his scarlet appearance with that dark, hungry smirk was just too much for him to bear.

And if they looked at one another, and Kanda really was smirking, and Allen really was blushing that darkly, looking that submissive, they just might… again…

…And Allen's body liked the possibility more than he would admit.

So, Allen ignored the urge to look at Kanda, ignored the urge to look and see if they wouldn't, indeed, start again…

Because they couldn't… They wouldn't…

It just couldn't…

…Right?

Across from Allen, Kanda was Kanda; he wasn't looking at the Moyashi, he wasn't blushing (what a womanly thing to do), he wasn't putting on any kind of twitchy, shifty, nervous display that would hint that he, too, wanted to continue, he wasn't even looking nearly as ruffled as the Moyashi was, even though the Moyashi was quite wriggly and had a tendency to paw around for something to grab onto for leverage…

…Though he was smirking.


Some time later, Komui cackled evilly and rubbed his hands together as he finished watching the video Timcanpy had recorded for him.

"Operation: Two Down" had been a success! All he had to do with them now was send Allen and Kanda on a few more missions with ridiculously long train rides involved, keep an eye on them to make sure the drug that was lowering their inhibitions worked a bit longer, and then that development would take care of itself.

Now he just had one to go…

And he would delight in taking Lavi down a few pegs.

The redhead had been getting a little too bold in how he'd been looking at Lenalee, after all.