Greetings. This is quite a long AN, so please bear with me.

It's been nearly seven years since my last update to this story (June 6 2012 to May 5 2019). Since then, the flood of bad Narnia fanfic which inspired me to pen these brief (and sometimes snotty, it must be said) missives has significantly died down, though certainly not ceased. Back in the day, I did in fact create some more comprehensive letters and spinoffs as I said in Chapter 46, and last week I discovered I'd written another chapter from Pulverulentus Siccus in preparation for his spinoff.

Given various things, including but not limited to length of time and personal growth, I am electing to conclude this fic by presenting you with that Siccus chapter. If anyone is truly interested in the other pieces I have left over—the vast collection of misspellings and grammatical inaccuracies which were intended to become the somewhat informational "DA: These Are Our Names and Titles" and "DA: These Are Our Countries," and the more comprehensive and/or redone letters that are already written—just let me know, and I'll be happy to work on posting them as well. Otherwise, this story will conclude here, with Siccus 4.

It's not entirely out of the question that I might return to it someday, but for now (1/31/21) I'm marking it complete. In the meantime, I'm glad that my snarky little potshots brought some people some amusement, and I hope anyone who sees this will also find some enjoyment in the rest of it. Thank you.

~Calyn


Dear authors:

Thou shalt not, for any purpose whatsoever, insert phrases of a foreign language into thy stories, unless thou art suitably learnéd in said language.

If thou art unsuitably learnéd and wish nonetheless to insert such phrases, thou shalt seek out a scholar with the ability to translate properly and avail thyself of his services.

Thou shalt never, under pain of proving thyself a fool and laughingstock to all those properly educated, make use of those abominable and painfully inaccurate inventions which are named "online translators," especially that most foul cesspit of all, "Google Translate."

If thou dost make use of these abominations, thou art thyself entirely to blame for any irate reviews thou may'st receive, and hath surrendered thy right to protest.

~P. Siccus


I'm sure they've improved somewhat in the years since I wrote this, but still. Don't.