This is my (a bit) late Christmas gift for Fr333bird (I hope you like it bb!) :)
This is totally unbeta'd so please, please just forgive me my mistakes and any misuse of English language. I hope you'll enjoy it anyway.
Warnings: totally over-sweetened and sappy. But it's Christmas! :)
All I want for Christmas is you (wrapped nicely)
"Emmett, this is sweet and he's kinda hot, but are you sure this was supposed to be for me? I think it's too large for me," Rosalie asks looking surprised at a T-shirt with an image of Steve McQueen on it.
I immediately catch Alice's sight from across the room.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! That means...
"Oh no!" Alice exclaims. "I must have mixed yours and Jasper's gift from Edward when I was wrapping them! That means he got that sweet lingerie that I helped Emmett to pick for you."
Everyone laughs, thinking how hilarious it is, and how astonished Jasper must be when he opens the gift from meand finds a matching set of lacy black and red panties with a camisole. I pretend to laugh with them, but internally I'm screaming from anxiety. Because… if they only knew!
I curse the day on which I asked Alice to help me get that special T-shirt for Jasper. And I pray to Santa's red dick and all sixteen frozen balls of his reindeers to please, please, please, make Jasper NOT open the gift before I get home and exchange it for the proper one. The thing is I have a thing for men in lingerie. And Jasper knows it, just as he knows I'm gay. He's learned about it because we use one computer in our apartment and he's seen my porn folders more times that I feel comfortable with.
What Jasper doesn't know though is that I'm in love with him – deeply and irrevocably. I've been in love with him for exactly three years, two months, one week and five days – which basically means - from the very first time he's smiled at me in our school's cafeteria when his parents and him moved to our town. How he doesn't see it, hell, doesn't even suspect it is beyond me, because for sure he's caught me staring at him with my puppy eyes, or checking him out, more than once - especially now when we live together in a rented place.
Well, now he's definitely going to learn about it, and in the most embarrassing way, I think bitterly, stuffing the paper with smiling snowmen into the bin. He'll think I made a pass on him - in a very, very ugly manner. He'll never forgive me and he'll never feel comfortable around me again.
I really want to kill Alice right now so when she enters the kitchen I try hard not to look at her – after all this is just a mistake – it could have happened to anyone. I run my hand through my hair, making it even more messy than it usually is.
"Hey, Ed," Alice says, placing her hand on my arm. "I'm sorry. And it'll be okay."
"Yeah," I say and kiss her on the top of her head. "I'm not mad at you. I'm just worried. I need to hurry – I really don't want him to open that gift before I get there."
I drive to our place like a madman, but deep down in my guts I know I'll be late. And that means I may lose Jasper's friendship. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to survive it.
When I enter the place lights are on so I know that Jasper's back already. Shit! Let the box be there! I take a glance under our Christmas tree – that is our Christmas ficus decorated with orange skins – and fuck, the box is not there and I can see the thorn paper on the floor. He's opened it.
"Jasper!" I yell. "I'm so sorry about the gift! I'll kill my stupid sister for misplacing the boxes..."
I hear a strange commotion in Jasper's bedroom and see his retreating form while he runs to the bathroom.
My heart stops.
Because I can't be sure, but I think, oh fuck, I thinkI saw him in some black and red fabric.
"Jasper?" I shout.
"In a minute!" He answers, but his voice is muffled.
I open the door to the bathroom and there he is - sitting on the bathtub's edge, with his face in his hands. His long legs are bare and when I look up I see the edge of black lace. His chest is half covered with stretched camisole with thin red ribbons as straps.
"Oh God", he says. "Oh God, oh God," he repeats over and over. He doesn't look at me, but must know I'm there. If people could emit emotions in a physical way I'd be cutting through a thick mist of utter embarrassment when I close the distance between us. I stand right in front of him so that our knees are touching. I don't think I've ever been so close to him in the whole time we've known each other. I take a deep breath and risk all I have - our friendship, the availability of seeing him on daily basis, of having him near me even if I can't have him the way I want him, and his presence in my life - when I thread my fingers in his soft golden waves and tug a little to tilt his head back.
"Jasper, please, please, look at me."
"I'm such an idiot," he mumbles in his hands.
"You're not an idiot, and please, look at me." I stroke his hair, trying to sooth him in any possible way.
He slowly uncovers his face and opens his eyes, looking up at me. His blue gaze is full of vulnerability that makes my heart ache.
"Jasper, since the first time I saw your blue eyes I've been falling for you more and more each day. Please don't feel ashamed. Nothing you do can make me think you're an idiot or make me feel less strong about you." It is now or never then. Either I lose him, or…
He's still looking at me, and slowly his expression changes - from ashamed into stunned and then into something more – when he suddenly smiles his amazing, 'pants dropping' smile, and gently, still clearly unsure of himself, places his hands on my hips, pulling me closer toward him.
I lean down and pause, trying to make sure that I'm not mistaken – trying to see if this is what he really wants. There is a small nod of his head and I lean further, allowing our lips to meet for the first time.
And my God, yes – maybe it's the fact that I've been waiting for this for so long without any hope or maybe Jasper is really my 'the one and only', but hell if the world doesn't stop in this moment. All I feel is Jasper's soft lips under mine, moving gently, still shy, and I'm lost in the scent of his warm skin and cinnamon and… Jasper. I sigh, and shudder, and I'm glad I don't sob right now. I wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer, impossibly close because, fuck, I want to make sure this is real. I think I'd not be able to pick up the pieces of me if it all turned out to be some outcome of my crazy imagination.
But I need to know, so I pull away from him for a while and ask, "Jasper, why would you wear that? Even if you thought it was from me?"
His face has been flushed already, but now Jasper's cheeks redden even more and I can feel his embarrassment returning.
"I thought… Fuck, I thought this was you giving me a hint. Like, I don't know, you telling me that in this way you'd maybe want me."
With this he breaks my heart even more, so I cup his face again and tell him seriously, "Baby, you know this is just a kink that I like to get off on, not the thing I live for, right?" I brush my thumbs over his cheeks, willing the blush to go away.
"Now I know," he answers me and looks up at me with a smile that makes me melt just a little more.
"I had no idea that you were into men," I say, still really surprised, because how come I haven't seen it? Jasper's always so private, so guarded when it comes to everything that concerns his emotions. He's always hiding somewhere in the back, doesn't socialize much and appears very reserved, but I've seen him excited and really 'moved' even by stupid movies so many times I know that it is only his way of being. I know he's got so much in him, I just didn't know he could feel anything toward me.
"I'm not really," he answers and shrugs. "It's just… you."
He shifts on the edge of the tub and I realize he must be really uncomfortable. I hesitate for a moment, but I don't want to let him out of my reach now.
"Can I take you to bed?" I ask him. It sounds ridiculous, but I just want him closer, I want to keep him, even if it's just for this night.
Jasper hums something in reply, and I don't wait to see if it's an agreement - I just pull his hand and lead him to his bedroom and onto the bed. I take a last glimpse at the things he has on him and my breath hitches, but I say, "Can I take this off? As fucking hot you look in it I don't want any enhancements, I just want you, only you. I've been waiting for this for so long," I keep talking while I'm undressing Jasper and he helps me by moving his hips and holding his hands up for me.
And here he is - naked, flushed, still shy and gorgeous, and so fucking perfect- lying in front of me. I take my shirt and T-shirt off and throw them on the floor.
"Can I touch you?" I ask him, hoping he'll understand what I'm asking for.
"Yes," he answers. Just a 'yes', nothing more, but it makes me want to scream with joy. I feel like I've been waiting for this 'yes' all my life. I so don't want to screw this. I want to make it good for him. I want to make it as perfect for him as he is for me.
I move over him and kiss him again, placing my hands on the sides of his face, stroking his temples, brushing his hair away. He opens his mouth for me and kisses me back with force, our teeth clicking and tongues pushing on each other. He embraces me, hugging me really tight. I'm breathless when I pull away and start kissing down his body, worshiping every bit of his skin on the way. I kiss his collarbones and the little dimple in the middle of his chest, his nipples - making him grunt - and then this magical spot where hard chest changes into soft lines of stomach. My hands roam over his body too, I rest them on his forearms and then I move them to his palms to entwine our fingers together. Holding his hands seems so intimate and forceful. I hesitate, looking up.
"Can I...?" I trail off and see him nod again.
So I travel down to his cock - long and straight, and just as perfect as everything about Jasper. It's fully erect, straining against his stomach, pink head shiny and beautiful. I stay still for a while, just enjoying the view, trying to memorize it, just in case this is all going to vanish. Finally, not wanting him to feel any more self-conscious than he already does I take a lick on the down side of his shaft, enticing a sigh from Jasper and then - more bravely – I take his cock in my hand, pull it towards my lips and wrap my mouth around it.
Jasper whispers something I can't make out and moves his hand, placing it gently in my hair, relaxing under the touch of my palms on his hips as I still him. I start to move my head and take licks with my tongue at the same time.
It's all so surreal. This is what I've been dreaming about for so long, what I've been yearning for - without any hope - what I've been crying about because I was sure I'd never be able to have it. This is the image that I've been jerking myself to for the last three years. I'm lost a bit in the moment, breathing in Jasper's heady scent while my mouth slides up and down his cock and my hands caress his abdomen, hips and thighs, drawing circles and shapeless patterns on his smooth skin.
I let his cock out of my mouth for a moment to lick his balls, and swirl my tongue around them, only to come back to his dick again. I take him deeper this time, all the way in, till the head of his cock is hitting the back of throat, while I move my tongue over that hypersensitive spot underneath the head. Suddenly Jasper jerks and spurts inside my mouth, his cum warm and salty. I swallow around him and let him ride it before he lightly tugs on my hair.
"I'm sorry," he pants.
"Why?" I'm already panicking. He must be sorry he's let me do this! He'll tell me all of this is just a cruel joke. He'll leave me.
"I'm sorry I… came in your mouth. I should've warned you. But I wasn't expecting to..."
For a moment I stay completely still, trying to calm myself down and then I move up his body to lie on him, our bodies completely aligned, our faces inches from each other.
"I wouldn't have pulled away even if you've warned me. I wanted you to come in my mouth." I smile.
I want to kiss him, but I'm not sure if he's okay with tasting himself on my tongue. He must sense it because he threads his fingers tight in my hair and pulls me toward him, and we're kissing again, messy and strong, and it feels like we're about to devour each other in a moment.
My erection is so hard I think it'll make a hole in my jeans. I shift on Jasper to find a more comfortable position, but cannot stop myself from grinding my hips a bit into him. He moves his hands, pushing on my chest and almost throws me off him. I'm stunned and start panicking again, but he kisses me again, saying, "Now you," and smiles before moving to my jeans to unbutton them. I help him to get rid of the jeans and then the underwear. Much like I did before, he pauses to take the sight in and then looks up, our gazes lock and we smile at each other – our knowing private smile that only we can understand. I realize that it was always there – this understanding of sort, this chemistry between us, we were just oblivious to the reason behind it. I was too sure about Jasper being out of my reach – and Jasper was… In fact I've no idea what Jasper was thinking. But it doesn't matter now – not when Jasper's kissing me again and I can feel his cock – already filling in – sliding against my own when Jasper thrusts his hips into mine again and again.
"Oh, Jesus," I whisper into his mouth. "You are so beautiful, I want you so much. You can't even imagine."
"I think I can," Jasper disagrees. "Because I want you too. You can't imagine how much," he chuckles, but we're too worked up to laugh really.
I can't take it any longer so I move my hand between our bodies and wrap it around both of our cocks, jerking us in long hard strokes. Jasper leans on one of his arms and brings his other one also between us, placing his hand over mine. The warmth of his palm sliding with mine over our hard cocks does it for me. I come all over our hands and my stomach, feeling like I'm falling and being rescued by him over and over again.
I release our dicks and hold on to Jasper, while he still moves his hand over our erections and comes too, panting, spilling his cum on me, mixing it with mine. We've stopped kissing some time ago but our lips still touch each other, our mouths open, breaths heavy. Jasper looks down and places his hand on the wet spot on my stomach, as if he wants to mix our cum even more, to make sure it's really there.
He collapses, adjusting himself so that he's lying half on me and half on the bed, his arm and leg wrapped around my body. I hug him and kiss his hair and when he looks up I kiss him on the lips once more – gently and caring this time, trying to tell him with this kiss that I love him, that I've always loved him.
I don't want to get up and lose him from my arms for even a minute so I just reach with my hand for my discarded boxers lying on the bed and wipe us a bit, before covering us with the duvet.
"Do you think she did on purpose?" Jasper asks when I'm almost falling asleep, drunken with happiness.
"What? Who did what on purpose?" I ask sleepily, trying to inhale more Jasper before I doze off.
"Alice. You said she misplaced the boxes."
I think about it and fuck if Jasper isn't right. She must have known somehow. I've no idea how.
"If she did I need to thank her because by doing this she gave me you." I kiss him again on his hair. "And you were so beautifully wrapped." We both chuckle and I hold him tight, really tight, wanting to keep him forever.