Storm-cooled air blew through the cab of the truck. I curled up against the seat as Jacob's warmth left me.
"Oh, sorry, Bells," he said, coming around to my side of the truck. I took the hand he offered and let him pull me towards his body once I was out, savoring the heat. After those previous thoughts, what was the point of keeping those lines drawn?
The instant we were inside, Jacob pushed me down onto the couch and went to get me a drink of water. I heard the water start to run and wondered what he was filling up for it to be on for so long. I pulled the old afghan off the back of the couch and tried to drape it over myself so I wouldn't freeze. Just this simple action reminded me of him.
When Jake returned to the living room, he found me in the fetal position, curled up and sobbing. He placed the pitcher of water and cup that he'd brought for me on the coffee table and sat down beside me. His arms wound themselves around me, holding me together.
"Jeez, Bella," he complained. "I can't leave you anywhere alone, can I? Not without you falling apart on me." I just whimpered and snuggled deeper into his chest.
Both of us saw Charlie's headlights from the front of the house. I burrowed farther into the blanket and tucked my head under Jacob's arm. Poor Charlie. Jake bowed his head towards mine, covering me in heat.
The door opened and the lights flickered on. Charlie froze when he saw us on the couch.
"Hi, Dad," I managed to say. He didn't respond, just came over to me and leaned down to hug me.
I was shocked by the sudden act of love. Charlie wasn't the kind of person who shared his feelings very much. I hugged him back, realizing that he knew he may lose me at any time. It made me tear up. He didn't know how close it came today.
"Glad to see you again, Jake," Charlie said once he'd released me and wiped the moisture from his eyes.
"Same here," Jacob replied, solemnly.
"I ate at the hospital, so I'm just going to go upstairs. 'Night, Bells, Jake."
After the last step creaked under his foot, Jake wrapped himself around me again. We sat there for a long time, neither of us wanting to talk or move. Finally, my stomach made its presence known by growling loudly. We both looked down at it in shock. He laughed.
"C'mon. We better get you something to eat." He looked at me critically. "But, first, a drink, hm? You can barely say one word. Here, hon." He handed me the cup, pouring water into it. I drank greedily, only realizing how thirsty I was when I started drinking. I almost got through the whole jug he'd brought out. "How's your throat doing? Better?"
"It's fine, Jake. Let's just make dinner."
The fridge hadn't been restocked for a while, so I grabbed a few Mac 'n Cheese boxes from a cabinet. Jacob instantly got out the large pan from under the sink while I tried to rip the cardboard open.
He smiled and pulled it from my grasp, slipping a finger under the flap. I glared at him and poured the contents into the pot he'd gotten for me. He snuck up behind me and held my waist. I jumped a little, but pressed myself back into him, letting him know it was okay.
"I'm sorry. You just weren't fast enough."
"Okay, now that's just mean," I complained. The urge to turn around and place my lips over his was almost overpowering. Almost.
"I said sorry," he insisted, leaning against me. I turned the stove on and spun around to face him.
"Sorry doesn't mean anything. You said it after you apologized." I tried to walk past him, bu this grip got tighter, securing me to his chest. My hands were pressed against his well-defined abs and they were sliding up of their own free will.
"Well, then, how 'bout this? I'm sorry, Isabella Marie Swan. I apologize with all my heart." His voice got huskier at the end, his head tilting towards mine.
"As long as there's still room for me in it," I whispered, sliding my hands up his chest and around his neck.
"Always," he said, just before our lips collided with each others. They moved in harmony, as if we'd practiced this earlier. For a second, I thought to fight it, but the sensation I had felt in the truck – to just kiss him with all I had – washed over me again. Hadn't he said to be happy?
He pressed into me, forcing me backwards a step. I suddenly found myself pressed against the kitchen counter opposite where I'd been standing. Jacob had turned us around and was slowly leading me out into the living room.
When my knees hit the first couch cushion, I let my brain stop working and let my instincts take over. I fell, feeling fear before his lips connected with mine again. Jacob leaned away and pressed his forehead against mine. Our breath mingled together in the small space between our mouths. I wanted to close it and feel his lips caress mine. I wondered what Charlie would say about his only – Charlie!
"I don't think that was the wisest choice, Jake,: I whispered. His head cocked to the side, giving his mouth better access to mine. His eyes darkened. He thought that I was regretting all of it. "We have food cooking and my dad's upstairs. I doubt he's actually sleeping. We shouldn't do this here."
"You're right," he murmured softly. After he got off me, I started pouting at the intense cold that replaced his body heat. I grabbed the hand he offered and let him pull me up from the couch, keeping close to him as we left the living room.
I heard the water boiling and rushed into the kitchen to finish our dinner. Or at least, save it from burning. I didn't want all of those noodles to have gone to waste. Thankfully, they were fine. I added the butter, cheese, and milk to the empty pan before mixing everything together. I could feel Jakes eyes on my back as I stirred the ingredients. Every time I turned to look at him, I blushed visibly at the twinkle in his eyes. A few minutes later, I heard the chair he'd been sitting on scrape against the linoleum tiles on the floor. Before I could turn to see where he was going, I felt his warm hands slide around my hips. They rested on my flat stomach as his chin lightly fell on my shoulder.
"I like this," he murmured, kissing my neck. I turned my head to the side to get a better view of him.
"You like what?" I asked, glancing at the Macaroni and putting a lid on the pot. I placed the wooden spook I'd been using on the other side of the stove. He twisted me around so that I was facing him again.
"You cooking for us the way you are. Standing there, holding that spoon, knowing exactly what you're doing, comfortable with every motion that you think of," he said, pulling me against his chest. I could feel my emotions change as he said this. Memories came rushing through my mind. Me laying down in my bed with Edward's arm wrapped around me, his body curled around mine. I realized that this was never going to happen again. The full weight of his loss trampled me.
And I found that I couldn't care anymore. His loss wasn't one I needed to suffer over. Because I had never really loved Edward not the way I had loved Jake. Even though I'd only loved Jake as a friend until recently, I'd still loved him more. That's why he was the only one who'd been able to heal the wound in my chest. The wound that my heart had healed over. Edward was no longer a part of my life, body, or hear. I no longer needed him to survive.
I lifted my head so that I could see Jake's face. The face that seemed to fill my days to the brim. He looked down and was shocked to see the resolution and wonder in my eyes. His head tilted to the side, asking what had happened. So, I opened my mouth and answered.
"I don't love Edward anymore," I said. He looked at me, his eyes wide. "I love you now." He inhaled in surprise. I smiled and reached up on my toes to kiss him, pulling his head closer to deepen it. I was already presseed against the stove and found I couldn't move because Jacob was gleefully aware of that fact. He pressed into me and I could feel his erection against my stomach. This turned me on to no end.
I hooked one leg around his waist and hoisted the other right after so I was only supported by Jake and the stove. He growled, low and deep, in the back of his throat. I moaned in response as he plunged his tongue into my mouth, mirroring the desire to plunge into me with something else. My core was pressed against him and every time one of us moved even a little, we both moaned and moved faster. His hands were under my shirt, caressing my back and stomach, avoiding the places I wanted them most. I had fisted one hand in his hair and the other one was traveling down his bare chest. I pulled away to breathe and Jake bit on the sensitive area just below my ear. I moaned louder and arched into him, making his hand slide farther up than he intended. When his hand touched my breast, I couldn't help it. I grinded against him, trying to create more friction between my legs. When he bit my neck this time, it wasn't gentle. I gasped in a breath and tried to clear my head of the red haze that had settled over my mind. The scent of Mac 'n Cheese permeated my nose.
"Dinner, Jake," I said. He groaned against my neck, letting me put my feet against his legs and slide down until they were resting on the ground again. He was still attached to me and neither of us wanted to let go.
"I don't want food," he grumbled.
"You always want food, Jake," I said. He moaned when I turned the stove off, using the hand in his hair to grab the wooden spoon. I'd neglected. "Don't lie to me. I know you too well."
"I know. But you could know me better. I now hate noodles," he whined. I heard him open a cabinet and found two plates on the counter next to me. I turned to him to thank him, but couldn't resist kissing his lips instead.
"Mm, Bella. Don't tempt me. We almost didn't have dinner," he whispered, giving me a peck before pulling two glasses out of the drainboard and got the milk out of the fridge. I spooned the noodles onto the plates and took the pot to the table so Jake could eat as much as he wanted. He walked up behind me to place the glasses on the table. His lips found my neck and he placed open mouthed kisses along the top of my neck and shoulders.
"And you were worried about me teasing you," I said, laughing. He smiled and bit me once, removing the hand on my waist to pull out the chair for me. "Very gentleman-like," I complimented. He grinned and leaned down to give me a chaste kiss, pulling away too soon.
"What are you going to tell Charlie when he asks what you did today?" Jake asked. I looked up, puzzled. He was shoveling food into his mouth, his eyes wide. The perfect picture of innocence. He looked down again, stabbing his fork through cheesy noodles before looking up. "What?" he said through the mess in his mouth. I realized I had a goofy smile on my face. I laughed at his expression.
"You were just eating your last meal, eh," I said, gesturing to the half empty plate in front of him.
"It's just 'cause I have to eat ten times the amount you do in the same amount of time," he explained. I laughed and cocked my head to the side when he moved his plate over, closer to mine.
"Are you going to stop eating now?" I asked. He shook his head.
"Nope. I just wanted to be closer to you," he said. He twisted his chair around until it was resting next to mine. He kissed my cheek as he settled in. I felt his hand circle my knee as he took another bite.
"Since you're not answering my first question, what're you doing tomorrow?" I shrugged.
"I have work and I"ll probably head over to the Clearwater's and see if I can help out at all. With the cooking and cleaning stuff. You know domestic things they might not want to think about for a while." He nodded, accepting this. I felt sorry for all that both Billy and Charlie had gone through, not to mention Seth and Leah. They must have been torn up when the found out. And ten minutes ago, I was happily making out with Jacob in my living room. I groaned and dropped my head to my hands.
Jake's thumb traced doodles on the inside of my thigh. When I looked up again, he was staring at me, concern and love coloring his eyes. I tried to smile and reassure him, but I couldn't and he could tell.
"C'mon, honey. Go on up to your bedroom, take a shower, get ready for bed, get all comfy down on the couch and I'll do the dishes, alright?" I sighed and resigned myself to the clutches of humanity again.
"Fine," I said, standing up and carrying my plate to the sink. He shook his head and took the plate from me.
"Uh-uh. You're not doing anything. Today's a day of rest for you. Or a night of one, anyway." I smiled. Jacob was too kind to me. I didn't deserve it. If anyone did, it was him. He spent most of his days worrying about my safety. His arms were resting thrillingly around my waist. I let him pull me along until I was leaning against his chest. I kissed him, silently thanking him for everything he'd done for me. He smiled and released me.
"You better get out of here before I start thinking about what you're supposed to be doing. You in the shower..." He licked his lips, smiling and pulling me in for another searing kiss.
I tip-toed up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible so that I wouldn't wake up Charlie. If he was sleeping. I took a shower and washed my hair with the shampoo that Edward loved. It seemed to work on Jacob, too. My only visitor tonight was going to be Edward's enemy. The thought made me laugh.
After I was done, I shaved my legs, carefully slicing off every offending hair I could find. I'd finally gotten Renee to send me that Victoria's Secret silk pajama set she gave me for my 15th birthday and I slipped it on, the cloth barely touching my skin, yet it showed all the curves in all the right places. I wonder how they do it,
A knock on the bathroom door made me jump and scramble to clean everything up. When I opened it, Jake was leaning against the door frame. The second he saw me, he gulped and looked away. I tried to contain a smirk and brushed past him to put everything away in my room. I led him downstairs and slid to a stop when Charlie's door opened. I pushed Jake out of sight and turned to face my dad.
"Bella? Is Jake still here?" I nodded. "Oh, okay. Is he gonna stay the night, 'cause I think I'm gonna head over to Billy's and see what I can do for him in the morning. I don't want to leave you alone."
"Yeah, sure, Dad. Go ahead. I was just going downstairs to sleep on the couch with Jake." I bit my lip, finally taking in what I was wearing. His smile vanished.
"Where'd you get that?" he asked.
"Mom gave it to me two years ago," I said. When he continued to frown. I sighed. "They're just pajamas, Dad." He grunted and ambled off in the direction of the bathroom. I sighed again, stepping down the last stair. I saw that Jacob had brought down the blankets and comforters off my bed and laid them out on the couch. He was trying to get a pillow to sit at the edge of the cushion, but it kept falling over. I grabbed it and leaned it against the arm so it had some leverage.
"You with cardboard boxes and me with pillows. Perfect match," I joked.. He laughed, gripping my waist in both hands. "What are we doing down here?" I asked.
"Watching a movie and sleeping," he said as he situated us with me laying on top of him, under the blanket. "I didn't think your dad would be too happy about me sleeping in your bed." I smiled and rolled to my side, facing the T.V..
"Watching a movie, huh? Wouldn't you rather kiss me?"
"Well, yeah. But I didn't think you'd go for that just yet." I laughed. "We're watching Cars for your information," he added. I settled down to the opening credits, listening to engines roar.
"Sleep, Bella," he said, rubbing my shoulders with his big hands. My last thought before drifting off was that big hands meant bigger packages under the pants. I felt sorry for Jake. He must get that a lot.
When I woke up, it was probably about six in the morning. Jake was fast asleep beside me, his arms wrapped protectively around me and his head tilted back against the arm of the chair. It had to be painful. I got up, putting my pillow under his head and bending his knees so his feet wouldn't hang off and cramp. I went into the kitchen to find something to eat. There was a note attached to the fridge. It was from Charlie. He said he'd left for Billy's and he two of us looked so tired and comfortable, he didn't want to wake us up. I sighed and threw away the note. He wasn't taking Harry's death well.
I added power mix to water and made Tang (A/N:If you don't know what that is, look it up. It's good.) I was stirring the pitcher when I noticed that the kitchen was cleaner then I'd seen it in months. Jake had done a good job. I poured the juice into a cup and stuck the leftovers in the fridge. Someone would drink it later. I leaned against the sink.
Jake walked in, rubbing his eyes. I smiled and took another sip of my juice. He walked over to me, eyes closed, arms outstretched towards my waist. I laughed.
"Are you trying to impersonate me last month? 'Cause you're good," I said. He reached me and gave me a hug.
"No. I'm not quite that mean. Well, not to you," he said. His face nuzzled into my neck. "And I'm hungry. I'm taking you out to eat."
"Now?" I asked. He nodded. I looked down at myself. I didn't think I could go out in public wearing this. And Jake would need pants. I put down my cup and slid my arms around him. He was incredibly warm, as always, and I savored the feeling. "Do you want to go get dressed?" I asked. He sighed and began pulling away. "Or do you want a proper good morning?" He groaned and pressed back into me.
I leaned up and kissed him gently, My left hand cupped his neck, pulling him closer to me. His tongue traced my bottom lip and I moaned. My hands massaged his rock hard abs. His warm arms were still wrapped around me. I fingered the tie on his blue boxers, letting him get a little more excited. He lifted me onto the counter next to the sink, pulling me until I was perched on the edge. We fit together better when we were like this, I noticed. I stopped thinking the moment he grinded against me.
"Ah," I groaned, arching my back into him. The hands on my waist moved to my thighs, up the front of my stomach to the underside of my breasts. Jake's teeth bit savagely into my neck as he separated for breath. I reached down between us again, pulling at the cloth around his waist. I wanted it gone. And it wasn't budging.
Then the phone rang.
We both groaned in unison. He reached out and picked it up.
"Yeah?" Jake asked, gruff lust colored his voice. I heard mumbling on the other end. "No...He's at Billy Black's house. On the rez...Yeah, she's here." He glanced at me and shook his head when I furrowed my brow in question. "Who is this?" he asked. I leaned forward and bit his collarbone, working up his neck. "Yeah, but I'll have to ask," He pulled the phone away from us, pressing the mouth piece against him leg.
His mouth captured mine in a kiss that seemed to melt all the clothes off our bodies. "Do you want to talk to Carlisle?" he asked. I tilted my head to the side.
"That's Carlisle? Yes," I said, grabbing the phone. "Hello?"
"Bella? It's Carlisle. Do you remember me?" The sultry voice from the other line sounded familiar, but technology did it no justice.
"Yes, of course. I may no longer love your son, but I still remember you. You're the best doctor I've had."
"Thank you. I called to make sure you're okay. Edward has forbidden Alice from looking after you, so I decided to do it for her." I heard people shouting in the background.
"Where are you?" I asked.
"The only place Edward would never look for me. The only local pub." I had to laugh. "It turns out, alcohol has no way to actually get us drunk. Emmett's been spending weekends down here for a few months."
"Only he'd do that. I hope Edward doesn't hurt you because you checked up on me."
"Yes. Well, it's been lovely chatting, but a thug wants to phone. I hope you don't need anymore medical help for a while."
"Not yet," I said. "Tell everyone I miss that. Goodbye, Carlisle."
"Bye, Bella." His phone disconnected. I hung up and turned back to Jake where he was still standing between my legs. He looked very crestfallen.
"Jake? What's wrong?" I asked. He hung his head, seemingly ashamed.
"I was just hoping that you'd never have to talk to them again because I was afraid you'd choose them over me," he mumbled. I pulled him into my arms, tightening my grip.
"You don't have to worry. They're not coming back. I'm still here. I don't know who I'd choose if they did. All of them are my friends, but I love you. You're both equal on the scale right now. Okay?" He nodded, still sad. "What about that offer of food, huh?"
He helped me get off my counter and fix my shirt. I grabbed his hand and put everything from the living room away. I found Jake's pants under a blanket and handed them to him. Jake followed me up to my room where I got dressed behind his back. I was putting mascara on when he appeared in the bathroom mirror behind me. I smiled at him.
"You're beautiful enough. You don't need all this," he said, grabbing my waist and resting his head on my shoulder.
"Thanks, hon, but not everyone on the planet agrees with you."
"Most. Almost none don't."
"Yeah. Whatever you say. I don't believe you," I said, fixing my hair so it laid just right on my shoulder. Jake pulled me back so my ass was pressed against his member.
"And yet, you make me so hard with hardly anything on," he said into my ear. I groaned and leaned back, reaching up to put my hands on his neck. He sucked on the flesh where my shoulder met my neck,
I moaned his name and felt his penis twitch. I turned around and pulled him to me, sliding my hand up his chest and meeting his mouth with mine.
"Bella. We can't do this if we're going to go eat breakfast out," he groaned. "I may be strong, but I can't resist you when you're like this." I sat on the counter so he could stand between my legs and get closer to me.
"Fine, but can't you wait a few minutes? This was just getting good," I whined. He groaned into my neck. "It feels so good. I want you pressed against me. I want you in me." I pulled him closer to me. The only things separating us were his boxers and my shorts.
His hands went from my waist, up my sides, dragging my top with it. I lifted my arms so he could pull off my shirt. Our mouths connected again in passion. I gasped when his hand feel to my left breast. He ran his thumb over my nipple, making me arch into him again. I pulled his head back to mine and pressed myself to him.
"No, Bella. I want the first time to be wonderful. Better than something on the counter in your bathroom," he said, pulling away and finding my shirt. I slipped it back on and jumped to the floor. He gathered me in his arms and leaned down so our noses were touching. "I want this so bad and I know you do, too. But not now. I don't think either of us is ready for it yet, okay?" he asked, pleading with me I knew there was truth in his words.
"Okay," I said, kissing him. "Let's go get something to eat. You must be starving." I reached for my shirt and pulled it back on.
"Yeah, well, I'm always starving."