As far back as he can remember, Jensen Ackles has had two loves that has stayed with him: reading, and Jared. He can't remember a time when these two things never mattered.
Not when he was thrown out of his house at 14, not when he had to beg in the streets for days. Not when he was beaten, raped and left for dead in an alleyway at 16, not when Stella Marie, took him into her dark world of sex slavery.
He always found something to read, something to connect him to the world that he created in his mind. From Tolkien to Salinger, he drank up whatever piece of literature he could get his somehow always cut and bruised hands on.
Stella Marie had worked him hard, making him the favorite of her brothel, making him take women and men, day and night. But she was good to him too, giving him the rare holiday and providing him with books that set Jensen's imagination on fire.
Through the ink and pages, he saw the world from a different perspective. He was always intelligent, everyone who met him knew that, street-smart and silver-tongued. He could get almost anything he wanted, but he was always apprehensive, shy and quiet. He would spend hours, days even poring over book after book.
Now everyone knew he was intelligent, but everyone also knew his other love, Jared Padalecki. Who didn't! a 5 time Oscar winner, one of Spielberg's favorites, high fashion model. Everyone knew him, but no one knew him more than Jensen. He could tell you every little detail about Jared; from his three year running award for Most Wanted Bachelor to where he stayed, even where he was last spotted. Jensen never missed a beat. Stella Marie knew about Jensen's love for Jared and secretly brought him the latest gossip and magazines that Jared was in, even a movie or two. Jensen cherished those things.
Some of the others that lived in the brothel would often tease Jensen, telling him that Stella Marie would get Jared to come and see him someday. Jensen would always laugh and tell them to stuff it, but secretly, he wished that it would happen, that one day, Jared would come and take him away from the brothel. He loved everyone there, but he hated it. He hated being confined, he hated the forced sex, he hated it all.
Finally, Jensen got out after eight years. There was an accident: a fire. Stella Marie was killed, along with many of his friend and most tragic of all: his books and everything he had collected about Jared.
Jensen was 24, scared and alone again. He didn't know much about the outside world although he read as much as he did. He had few usable skills then, he knew how to live basically, but not much more. He didn't even know how to use a phone or how to cook for himself.
Jensen wandered for months, walking most of the way, running some, hitching a ride where he could. Some people were kind, some not so. Some offered him a place to stay and some money, which he respectfully declined. Always scared and timid inside, always pleasantly modest and kind outside, Jensen never made it known what his true feelings were. Life had taught him better than that.
An idea struck him when he was walking past the sign that told him he was in Maine: why doesn't he go to Texas? San Antonio to be more specific. The birthplace of Jared Padalecki, his one and only. So that's what he did.
Jensen hitch-hiked sometimes, walked most of it. He got money though pool, which he found he was good at. He bought clothes when he needed them, never keeping anything. Jensen would sleep in motel's of sometimes cheap hotel's. sometimes he would just lay out under the starry sky and stare up at the sky, feeling like he was the only person in the world.
He found out about the world through the eyes of a traveler, learned about people from a homeless person's point of view, and he had never felt more alive in his life.
As Jensen entered San Antonio, two years later, he was a little more tanned, a lot more toned and a heck of a lot more excited.
Never had he felt such a strong pull towards Jared. Jensen used most of the money he had with him to stay for three nights in a good hotel and bought the nicest set of clothes he's ever worn. He washed and ironed them himself and even got a haircut and shave to look presentable.
He was ready, he knew it. Jared was supposed to be in town today for the opening of his new movie, and Jensen was geared up to try and get a glimpse of him. Jensen looked himself in the bathroom mirror and smiled to himself, he thought he looked alright and he nodded to himself.
At the movie premier, Jensen tried to quell his nerves by eating a piece of gum, but nothing could stop his heart from pumping faster and faster as he saw the black limousine pull up. Nothing could stop him from going completely silent as he saw Jared coming out of the car.
And then nothing.
He couldn't move as the crowd surged forward. He couldn't move when he saw Jared glance his way and smile directly at him.
In the end, he didn't get to talk to Jared as the security personnel herded Jared in and he beat himself up about it for the next two days.
He left San Antonio after that, deciding that he would continue his travel through the United States. Jensen decided he would travel to Richmond, British Columbia. Jensen chose there because he had heard it was a nice place, and Jensen knew that Vancouver was just a few hours away.
As he left the city, he looked back a minute, something telling him to do so and he saw the same black limousine cruising out of the city and he watched as it flew past him. He smiled to himself, hope renewed.
He would meet Jared one day.