Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.
Yo! Zephyr here. I hope everyone had a happy Christmas or whatever you celebrate. This is just something that I kinda threw together, but I think it's pretty adorable. Let the deadly tale begin!
Elizaveta didn't look up from her book when she heard the shower curtain open and the noises of her boyfriend fumbling around the bathroom. She continued reading even when his pet bird decided to fly over and sit on her head. She had just reached up and moved the bird from her head to the spot on the bed next to her book when Gilbert walked out of the bathroom, a cloud of steam following behind him.
"Ellie, we have to talk." Gilbert said, his crimson eyes fixed on her.
"What now?" Elizaveta questioned.
"Why the hell are there so many shower products on the bathroom?" Gilbert asked as he raked a comb through his hair.
"Because it's a bathroom?" Elizaveta phrased her response like a question.
"But we don't need a million bottles of shampoo in the shower, Ellie." Gilbert said as he picked up his pet and held him in the palm of his hand.
"I have a use for all of those." Elizaveta said. "And some of those are yours, you know."
"Yeah, one bottle of shampoo and conditioner and a bottle of soap." Gilbert said as he stroked the yellow bird in his hand. "And none of the expensive stuff, too."
"I don't get expensive stuff, either." Elizaveta said.
"Is that so?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "Come with me."
"Gil, what are you doing?" Elizaveta protested as Gilbert grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into the bathroom.
"See?" Gilbert gestured to the plethora of shower products sitting in the shower. "This is what I call a lot of shower products, Ellie."
"But I use all of them." Elizaveta told him.
"And what's with these flavours?" Gilbert had picked up a bottle of soap and was examining it closely, clearly oblivious to the fact that Gilbird was now resting on his head.
"Flavours, Gil?" Elizaveta raised an eyebrow. "They come in scents, babe, not flavours."
"Scents, then." Gilbert said as he moved Gilbird from his head to his shoulder. "I mean, why in the world do you have anything that smells like apple cinnamon? I thought you hated cinnamon?"
"I do in food." Elizaveta responded. "I quite like it in shower products and candles."
"And don't get me started on candles." Gilbert said, his eyes falling on the pile of candles on the edge of the bathtub. "I mean, it is kinda nice to have candles around the tub when we have sex, but it's just annoying every other time."
"But they smell nice." Elizaveta told him as Gilbird jumped off of Gilbert's shoulder and hopped over to a bottle of soap. "Let's just get back to the soap and the other girly stuff, okay, Gil?"
"Yeah, do you really need seven different scents of shampoo?" Gilbert picked up a bottle of shampoo and held it out to his girlfriend.
"One for each day of the week." Elizaveta nodded.
"Ellie, is that really necessary?" Gilbert questioned as he examined a bottle of lavender-scented conditioner.
"Igen." Elizaveta nodded.
"And how about these twelve bottles of soap?" Gilbert said as he picked up the bottle of soap that Gilbird was sitting on. "What's with these scents, anyway? Lemon basil and orange marmalade? I don't want to have something that I put on toast in the morning in the shower with me."
"It smells good." Elizaveta said, allowing the yellow bird to fly up to her shoulder and playfully peck at her neck with his beak.
"Should I even bother going on about the lotion and perfume?" Gilbert dragged her out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. "Really, Ellie?"
"You bought me some of the perfume." Elizaveta said as she looked at the perfume on her nightstand.
"I bought you one or two bottles." Gilbert said as he picked up Gilbird and placed him on his shoulder. "I didn't buy the rest of these."
"And you bought me some of the lotion." Elizaveta said.
"Ja, but only a bottle or two." Gilbert said. "And I certainly didn't spend a lot on them, either."
"Gee, thanks a lot, Gil." Elizaveta rolled her eyes.
"You know what I mean." Gilbert shook his head. "I didn't spend a fortune on them like you spend on these."
"I'll have you know, Gilbert, that I didn't spend over ten dollars a bottle." Elizaveta told him.
"Oh?" Gilbert arched an eyebrow. "Then why does this bottle of lotion cost almost twenty bucks?"
"I got them on sale." Elizaveta explained. "You seriously think I'd spend this much on a single bottle of perfume?"
"Yeah, you've spent too much time around Roddy." Gilbert smirked. "He's rubbed off on you."
"I'd say you rubbed off on me a bit more." Elizaveta gave Gilbert a quick kiss.
"And look at these!" Gilbert was back to paying attention to the clutter around the bathroom sink.
"All of these what?" Elizaveta said.
"The hair products, Ellie." Gilbert said as he picked up a bottle of hair gel. "I mean, I know some of these are mine, but I'm pretty sure I don't use every single one of these."
"Yeah, I know." Elizaveta said. "But Gil, I don't think I really use hair gel for Mohawks."
"I had a Mohawk?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow.
"When we first started going out, you did." Elizaveta responded.
"So unawesome of me." Gilbert shuddered. "I bet I looked terrible."
"That you did, babe." Elizaveta said. "And I'll have you know I use most of these every day."
"You really use seven different kinds of de-frizzers?" Gilbert asked.
"It depends on how humid it is." Elizaveta explained. "And if it's rainy."
"So can you at least move some of these?" Gilbert questioned.
"I suppose I could move a few things." Elizaveta said.
"That sounds better." Gilbert nodded. "At least the bathroom wouldn't be so cluttered, huh?"
"Like you don't clutter up the bathroom as well?" Elizaveta raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, lovely." Gilbert said with a sigh, knowing that Elizaveta wouldn't let it go that easily.
I know it was kinda pointless, but I love the image of Prussia and Hungary bickering over things. Reviews equal love. Thanks for reading!